Also- rude doesn’t mean refusal to use pronouns. Rude could mean dismissing another female automatically just because they’re trans, before you know what they are there for, before you even know what they actually believe. Rude could mean being generally mean or nasty to someone, when there’s no need. What I’m saying is that there’s no need or reason to be genuinely rude. And I could understand a transman choosing to not be in an environment where their sense of identity isn’t affirmed. Those are two separate thoughts. Just because I think that it’s okay to not use preferred pronouns doesn’t mean that I think a transman would want to stay in a space that is full of people who refuse. That doesn’t mean I think the refusal itself is rude- it means I understand that pronouns matter a lot to some trans people, regardless of what I think about it, and it makes sense that someone who thinks that’s important would remove themselves from an environment where people aren’t willing to accommodate them. I don’t have to agree with someone’s mentality to understand that response. And in no way am I faulting anyone for refusal or saying the refusal is rude in and of itself.