BlackPillScience

Male vs Female Sex Drive: Around the world, women play "coy" by downplaying their sexual interest, thereby provoking men's courtship investment.

The coyer the female partner, the more valuable she becomes in terms of invested courtship efforts.

Ethnologist Eibl-Eibesfeldt was able to elicit the ‘‘coy glance’’. Looking at a variety of cultures, he found flirting to be prevalent and very much the same the world over.

https://davidcollard.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/coy.gif (Source)

Figure 4.45. The [white of the eye] permits us to perceive signals of others accurately: reaction of a young Indian woman to a compliment—affection and timidity are juxtaposed. From a 50 frames/second 16 mm film.

https://books.google.com/books/about/Human_Ethology.html?id=WADsngEACAAJ (Eibl-Eibesfeldt, 2009, p. 239)

http://doi.org/10.1080/00224490903402520 (Moore 2010)

Women have a much stronger preference for being asked out (M 16% vs W 94%) vs doing the asking (M 83% vs W 6%, d ≈ 2.5! Possibly the second largest psychological sex difference, after preference for gender d = 6.0 and followed by age preference d = 2.0).

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-how-and-why-sex-differences/201104/why-dont-women-ask-men-out-first-dates

The mating strategies are completely different: Seed-scattering males (competing, impressing, satyriasis) vs egg-guarding females (choosing, waiting, nesting). Men are generally required to initiate a romantic relationship.

http://doi.org/10.1300/J056v08n01_02 (Byers, 1996)

On Tinder, male subjects (super)liked 61.9% of the female evaluated profiles, while female subjects (super)liked only 4.5% of the male evaluated profiles. (d ≈ 2.0).

http://ftp.iza.org/dp11933.pdf (Neyt 2018)

60% of women said they hoped a recent hookup would lead to a romantic relationship compared to only 13% of men, demonstrating women's stronger preference for signals of investment.

http://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12220 (Weitbrecht 2017)

Women's interest in sex declines steeply in a relationship while men's interest remains stable. In the beginning, both sexes have the same sex drive (around 80% want sex often), but 90 months into a relationship (7.5 years), only ~25% of women want sex often.

This possibly results from overfamiliarity since women who didn’t live with their partner did not show this decline. This proves that women much more easily get bored with their partners e.g. when becoming familiar with their partner's intimate weaknesses.

https://i.imgur.com/78n2o6c.png

http://doi.org/10.1023/A:1015205020769 (Klusmann 2002)

http://doi.org/10.1007/s12110-006-1010-2 (Klusmann 2006)

Sexual stimuli produced higher subjective sexual arousal in males (d = 3.87).

http://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-008-9339-8 (Suschinsky 2008)

Men much more likely report they would engage in casual sex with a complete stranger (e.g. "will you go to bed with me tonight"; 75% M but 0% W answered yes).

https://interpersona.psychopen.eu/article/view/121/html (Tappé 2013)

Among college students on Spring Break, 76% of men vs 19% of women admitted they had intentions of having casual sex while on Spring Break.

https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499809551941 (Maticka‐Tyndale 1998)

Even in the most gender egalitarian countries, women are 1.68 times as likely to regret having engaged in casual sex (20.4% M, 34.2% W).

http://doi.org/10.1177/1474704916682903 (Bendixen et al. 2018)

Men are eight times as likely to regret passing up casual sex (28.9% M, 3.6% W).

https://doi.org/10.1177/1474704916682903 (Kennair 2016)

Among “celibate” clergy, men are less willing to actually forego sex (M 24%, W 3% have had 5+ partners).

https://books.google.com/books?id=sxHZAAAAMAAJ (Murphy 1992)

Men desired sex earlier in a relationship (M 28% vs W 3% reluctant virgins in fresh couples).

http://doi.org/10.1080/00224498709551339 (McCabe 1987)

Women pay for sex only extremely rarely (e.g. M 30% vs W 0%, CH, N = 2070).

https://www.20min.ch/community/umfragen/sex/20120628_20min_sexstudie_kurz.pdf (Source)

Gay males more likely than lesbians are unfaithful (G 82% vs L 28%).

https://books.google.com/books?id=QxYEAQAAIAAJ&focus=searchwithinvolume&q=%2282%22+%2228%22 (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983)

In a speed dating setting, men inferred more sexual interest from their conversation partners than women did (M 0.78±1.36, W −0.97±1.58, t(196) = 8.32, p < .001, N = 196, d ≈ 1.2).

http://faculty.missouri.edu/segerti/capstone/BussSexualInterest.pdf (Buss 2012)

In another speed dating study, women chose only half as many partners as men (M 5.0, W 2.6). 36 percent of men and 11 percent of women did not get any proposal.

http://doi.org/10.0000/papers.ssrn.com/941111 (Belot 2006)

Sex drive and sociosexuality (casual sex) showed consistent sex differences across 53 nations (d̅ = .62, .74). Gender empowerment measures correlated with sociosexuality, but were uncorrelated with sex drive.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17975724 (Lippa 2009)

Large survey study found no clues to stronger sexual motivation among women.

https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/5f84/46340d4ed375007351539e7993fa44e2e31b.pdf (Baumeister 2001)

All of this makes sense from the perspective of Parental Investment Theory. The principle of coy females can be seen in many other species, even in fungi.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_investment#Trivers%27_parental_investment_theory (Trivers 1972)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bateman's_principle

Sex differences in parental investment likely also explain that women have much more sexual disgust (d = -0.6 to -1.7). Reproduction is more costly and risky for women, e.g. they are more likely catch STDs and the maternal mortality rate used to be 10 times higher.

https://doi.org/10.1177/1754073917709940 (Al-Shawaf 2017)

Drive for success, testosterone and sex drive appear to be related.

https://www.mydomaine.co.uk/why-successful-people-have-more-sex

http://personal.lse.ac.uk/kanazawa/pdfs/jrp2003.pdf (Kanazawa, 2003)

Even in steady heterosexual relationships, men masturbate 4 times as often as women, mainly due to differences in sex drive (masturbation frequency M 2.02±5.37 vs W 0.51±0.92).

http://www.gerontoseksuoloog.nl/Artikelen/Sex%20drive,%20masturbation%20and%20partnered%20sex.pdf (Waterink 2018)

In the past 45 years, the sex difference in masturbation frequency has not changed despite women's sexual liberation and even though masturbation toys for women are less stigmatized than men's (M 5.1, F 1.4, N = 237 boys, N = 76 girls).

http://doi.org/10.1080/00224497309550786 (Sigusch 1973)

Men think 1.8 times as often about sex as women.

http://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2011.565429 (Fischer 2011)

But the contents of these thoughts are likely very different for each sex. A difference in sex drive causes a sexual satiation in the choosy sex and overdemand in the other one. Hence, men's sexual thoughts are more about how to get sex and women think more about how to evade unwanted sexual advances.

Note: Differences in sex drive are not generalizable to related things, such as orgasmic capacity (women have much higher), enjoyment of sex (mixed evidence), extrinsic sex motivation (for love/babies). Some of the lower sex drive of females is likely due to their greater choosiness.

http://doi.org/10.1207/S15327957PSPR0503_5 (Baumeister 2001)

Not only is women's sex driver lower, women are also reproductively unavailable 10-15% of the time due to menstruation. Plus, all men aged 20 to 40 prefer women in their 20s and the ratio of these groups is even growing due to falling birth rates and a 7% higher birth rate of males. Hence, lots of men compete for few fertile women.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2018/world/too-many-men

Men’s phenotypes, including their psychologies, my have been shaped by an evolutionary history of contest competition (intrasexual selection).

http://doi.org/10.1002/9781119125563.evpsych113 (Puts 2015)

Social psychologist Roy Baumeister wrote about the "Tragedy of the Male Sex Drive":

Given the mismatch between men's and women's desires, most men are doomed to experience chronic sexual frustration. […] They are doomed to be horny.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0205324428/ (Baumeister & Tice, 2001)