‘Frozen 2’ Creators Confirm That Elsa Gay But Also Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist - The OnionHumor(theonion.com)
Pope Francis Urges Priests To Refrain From Molesting Children Over Coronavirus Fears(theonion.com)
The Onion 20 years ago, or an actual news piece in currentyear? This USED to be satire.(theonion.com)
Biden Addresses Sexual Assault Allegations: ‘My Advisors Told Me To Say They Aren’t True’(theonion.com)
Trump Condemned For Giving Platform To CNN. “It was dangerous, irresponsible, and downright disgusting for President Trump to provide CNN with a large national audience like that,” said media critic Greg Polinsky.(theonion.com)
British Man Astounded To Hear How Much It Would Cost To Get Mustard Jar Removed From Rectum Under U.S. Healthcare System(local.theonion.com)
Study Finds It Statistically Impossible That Your Mom The Best Mom In The World(theonion.com)
Bloomberg Hires Thousands Of Canvassers To Stop Black Men On Street And Force Them To Hear Campaign Pitch(politics.theonion.com)
‘The Onion’ Stands With Israel Because It Seems Like You Get In Less Trouble For That(theonion.com)
NRA Calls For Teachers To Keep Loaded Gun Pointed At Class For Entire School Day(theonion.com)
Studio Ghibli Theme Park Opening Delayed After Construction Site Overrun With Curious Forest Sprites(theonion.com)
Growing Drug Tolerance Drives Trump To Buy Black-Tar Hydroxychloroquine Off Dealer In D.C. Metro Station(theonion.com)
Pentagon Officials Panic After Chinese President Shows Up To Fight Them In Parking Lot(theonion.com)
Feds Wistfully Gaze At Photo Of Hunter Biden’s Penis One Last Time Before Closing Investigation(theonion.com)
War-Weary Americans Not Sure How Much Longer They Can Occasionally Glance At Headlines About Ukraine(theonion.com)
Gay Teen Worried He Might Be Christian(theonion.com)
Violently Bored Americans Begin Looting Puzzle Stores(theonion.com)
ABC Reveals All ‘GMA’ Anchors Have Been Castrated(theonion.com)
Severely Injured Woman Heroically Fights Off Paramedics Trying To Force Her Into Medical Debt(theonion.com)
Russian Roulette Champion Wouldn’t Let His Son Play Russian Roulette(local.theonion.com)
The Onion goes full retard - fabricates a cringy, unfunny and pathetic “interview” with JKR.TRANSGENDER(theonion.com)
FDA Warns Tying Penis Into Knot Only Prevents 73% Of Pregnancies(theonion.com)
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Upgraded To Full DNC Speaking Slot After Announcing Support For Iraq War(politics.theonion.com)
Overcome Stress By Visualizing It As A Greedy, Hook-Nosed Race Of Creatures(theonion.com)