Denial: You're not right for each other, but raw sexual attraction clouds your judgement.

Anger: You have a lover's quarrel and either go back to step 1, or step 3.

Bargaining: You break up, or "take a break", but then keep thinking about step 1. You fantasize about making things perfect, but don't want to believe it's finally over. In attempts to patch things up, you may briefly revisit step 2 again.

Depression: You threaten to "an hero" yourself, and make a dramatic scene hoping to get pity, but realize you don't want pity. You fall into a slump as you flirt with step 3, before ultimately realizing there are irreconcilable differences.

Acceptance: In a last ditch effort to slingshot yourself out of step 4, you get on tinder (or grindr if that's your thing), and find a cheap hook-up. Rinse and repeat until you go to step 1.