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Gay Men

Sick of being called a transphobe for not being attracted to trans men, as well as having my sexuality invalidated simply for being a cis gay man.(self)

205 points204 points207 points submitted by Smolders1Cock is god's greatest gift.

I've put up with so much fucking shit today and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of having to deal with TRA's deluded viewpoints on sexual orientation, I'm tired of having something that I can't be rid of invalidated simply because I am attracted to men and only men.

Let's start things off, shall we? First, I was told by a shit ton of people on my Twitter that all cis gay men are headaches to deal with since we apparently all invalidate trans identities and we are responsible for them being sexually abused and being treated as objects. I was then told that I am apparently a genital fetishist for liking same-sex individuals and that if I refused to date a trans man, I would be branded as 'transphobic' by their group of toxic little shits simply because 'trans men are men and you need to date them since you're attracted to men'.

I just want to be left alone, man. I don't wanna be stereotyped anymore, I don't wanna feel like I'm an awful person everytime I don't agree with trans ideologies and beliefs. I'm fucking sick of it. I'm mentally drained.

I can't tolerate their mental illness anymore and I'm scared that more of my friends and fellow gays are going to be forced to conform out of fear for opposing their warped perception of 'the norm'.

I'm scared that soon, my label will have no meaning and will be stripped of all substance it once had.

TRA's can go fuck themselves. Fuck you for attempting to make me rid myself of my sexuality, something I've only recently accepted I'll be stuck with. My family have already attempted to perform conversion therapy on me several times before, I won't let you and your fucking confused community do it, too.

I just wish I was straight, just so I wouldn't have to even remotely associate myself with these toxic, reality and biology-denying assholes. I'm so fucking done. I'm officially labelling myself as a 'transphobe' from now on, regardless of whether the term has negative connotations or whether my behaviour actually warrants the label. Anything to keep these people off of my back.

A biological man cannot be a woman, a biological woman cannot be a man. Stay mad, homophobes.

all 52 comments

oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 52 insightful - 2 fun52 insightful - 1 fun53 insightful - 2 fun 3 years ago

As a lesbian, I truly feel your struggle. I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this. I also hate how they constantly see 'cis gay men' as these 'evil creatures full of toxic masculinity'. F*ck. Off. If you're a lesbian, you're a TERF. If you're a gay man, you're somehow this 'privileged evil person over trans people' and both are seen as horrible transphobic people lmao. "I'm scared that soon, my label will have no meaning and will be stripped of all substance it once had." - in case you haven't noticed yet, this has ALREADY happened with the lesbian label. I hope it doesn't happen to the gay label as well, but given the fact that they seem to be going after gay men now, I would argue they will try to twist the definition too until it has lost its meaning :( . Here you can find comfort. The lesbian community is totally shattered. But I feel like gay men are putting up a good fight (at least from what I've seen) and they have more 'social power' than lesbians so maybe things will get better?

RedditHatesLesbiansHomosexual Not Queer 34 insightful - 2 fun34 insightful - 1 fun35 insightful - 2 fun 3 years ago

Also a lesbian, at least this craziness hasn't reached the average person. When you ask the average person on the street what a lesbian is, they're likely to say homosexual woman 98% of the time. Just sucks that we have so many less spaces as a result of this craziness. Lesbian bars have disappeared. Lesbian spaces have been infiltrated or closed down. I feel like this won't happen with gay men to the same extent, but who knows. After they're done with gay men who's next? Straight men? That'll go over well lol

[deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

Except that I think it has reached the average person. I'm confident TQ+ is behind the drop in acceptance for LGB(T) we're seeing in young people, most dramatically in girls. The problem is they aren't aware of the nuance of it all and think it's coming from LGBTQ+. Once the acceptance drops dramatically, TQ+ can put on different clothes, let the dye job fade and move on with being socially accepted once again, while LGB is holding the fallout.

Smolders1Cock is god's greatest gift.[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

From the majority of discussions I've been skimming over on social media platforms, most gay men don't seem to be putting up with their shit and seem to see how truly shallow and discriminatory their whole 'progressive movement' actually is and I'm so, so happy for them. But I feel like it's just prolonging the inevitable rather than getting the point across to people, I just feel like one day, even if that day doesn't necessarily come anytime soon, all of the LGB community will be forced to conform.

The whole TQ+ 'progressive' narrative just seems to be brought up more frequently everyday, and I feel widespread conversion therapy will become more normalised and accepted as more people are forced to bow down to their brainless and exclusionary ideologies. I'm scared of what these people are doing, I'm scared of the fact that they are making the community WE built more centred around them, I'm scared of how they are getting their message across and I'm petrified for the LGB youth who may have to grow up in a future where their sexuality is bent into something that no longer has any remote association with what they feel.

Lesbians go through these exclusionary practices way more than us gays do from what I've unfortunately had to see, so perhaps my complaints regarding TRA and transgender behaviour shouldn't be so substantial, but I'm sick of having to stay quiet about it. I just feel like what's unfortunately transpired from TRA efforts to silence true lesbians will eventually occur for the gay community and I am simply afraid of it.

I'm so happy places like these exist.

turtleduck23 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

I'm happy to see gay men push back on this as well. Several month's ago I followed a young gay man who was a TRA supporter. In a matter of months he went from being a proud gay man to being queer, then non-binary and finally id as a woman. I was shocked how fast he changed and on his page when he came out he thanked a "fellow" transwoman for helping discover who he was. Why did he think he was a woman you might ask? Well, sexiest stereotypes of course. He enjoyed painting his nails and styling his hair. He enjoyed doing feminine things like cooking and being the submissive one in his relationship. Feminine gay men and butch lesbians are now being convinced that not following sexiest stereotypes makes you the opposite sex. And you are right, it's a new form of conversion therapy, instead of pray away the gay it's trans away the gay.

fuck_reddit 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

That's probably why trans "acceptance" has seemed to explode. When you get right down to it, it plays to homophobic beliefs. I find it really weird, but looking across other cultures, it seems to be more acceptable to straight people to force feminine gay men and masculine women to "be" the other gender so that our relationships look "straight." It seems to have created a fantasy where we can have strict gender roles and "freedom" from gender roles at the same time...

notdelusionalbased faggot 32 insightful - 10 fun32 insightful - 9 fun33 insightful - 10 fun 3 years ago

Sir, we're gonna have to ask you to put down the twitter. And there's no such thing as "cis".

IGiveAFuck2 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

Yes, using the word "cis" is giving in to them - as well as being completely meaningless!

fuck_reddit 15 insightful - 8 fun15 insightful - 7 fun16 insightful - 8 fun 3 years ago

That's why I prefer to use the term "normal", get's my point across and makes sure to piss them off at the same time! Voila

MezozoicGayoldschool gay 16 insightful - 8 fun16 insightful - 7 fun17 insightful - 8 fun 3 years ago

I am using "real", or just saying "women and transwomen".

Reminded me about Green Party post, where they went "women and non-transwomen", where "women" meant "transwomen" and "non-transwomen" meant "women".

fuck_reddit 9 insightful - 5 fun9 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 5 fun 3 years ago

"Yes, today we will win votes by alienating 50% of the population and pandering to 0.1% of the population."

Q-Continuum-kin 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

For me it's more about the idea that allowing people to call you cis is an agreement that gender identity even exists in the first place.

fuck_reddit 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

Yeah. It's also a gross sounding word (imo). It seems to lend itself to becoming a slur/insult. Like, "cisgender" is a (semi)reasonable term that derives from Latin and has some meaning, "cis" alone just means "same" and is devoid of real meaning in the contexts its used. I get that it's a contraction, but imo its a pretty shit one that's used to demean others and reject their opinions based on immutable characteristics...

fijupanda 32 insightful - 4 fun32 insightful - 3 fun33 insightful - 4 fun 3 years ago

They've all completely lost their schnitzel. They blame black women for black trans deaths, they blame white women for violent vagina gatekeeping, they blame white people for inventing biological sex (how the fuck does one invent sex cells?), they blame actual trans transitioners with actual gender dysphoria for transphobia as well, homosexuals are literally killing people, radical feminists are literally killing people, science is literally killing people, JK Rowling is a genocidal transphobe apparently... wtf?!

The funniest thing is that according to these TRAs...

Lesbians are genital feitishists, transphopes, violent vagina gatekeeprs, TERFs and whatnot. Gay men are genital feitishists, transphobes, violent penis gatekeepers, TERG and whatnot Bisexuals are either limited concept, not woke enough hence pansexuality, omnisexuality, or are fake because bisexuals implies two or are just transphobic bigots upholding the binary Transwomen are women, and transmen are men which means there is no such thing as trans individual and so there are no trans rights, trans medical support, trans laws etc.

Only thing you have left is the Qs then. Lmao.

They're digging a hole under the rest of us, but they'll fall into it themselves eventually when all is said and done. Don't worry.

At least they united so many different sides, people in one swell swoop.

[deleted] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

Only thing you have left is the Qs then. Lmao.

I was talking to an older activist the other day who was commenting on how she's feeling positive because people are in the streets and society is better since LGB acceptance is up. I pointed out it was actually going down in youths, and we had a very brief shallow discussion about it, and I mentioned the umbrella term dispersing the activism and the added letters causing fallout. I asked her "What does Q mean?" And she honestly had no idea what it even was. That's the problem - things are moving so fast and without public discussion that those not on Twitter (which is only 22% of the population) don't even know what the discussion is about anymore.

reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

They blame black women for black trans deaths

Wait, are they actually? I would love to read more about that if you have any links or know of any groups. I keep hearing "black trans women made X for you", and I kind of knew about the Stonewall stuff but I have not heard this part before.

fijupanda 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

yeah, saw it the other day on twitter. don't worry, the twitter radfem block was on it. I have to ask around if someone has the shots, seems the tweets and I think there was a video are deleted now. The cowards.

I'll let you know later on. Cheers.

reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

That's good to hear, thanks! Yeah, it's like-- if they felt that was worth deleting, then maybe they should consider not saying it in the first place..

I started looking a little and found a few similar tweets, but nothing organized. I'll probably keep looking for my own curiosity.

Gearbeta 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

Lipstick Alley is a forum for black women and their feminism section has a lot of examples of this type of behavior. https://www.lipstickalley.com/threads/trans-activist-blames-black-mothers-for-black-mens-misogyny-homophobia-and-transphobia.3763144/#post-60766600

A lot of black women are pointing out that the things we're told by black transwomen, sound remarkably like what misogynist black men tell us.

fijupanda 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

I doubt they'll self correct their behavior, or have some sort of common sense moment.

Here's what people have sent me so far, sorry for the late reply:

https://twitter.com/IndyaMoore/status/1288172947740532737

and afromycelium on twitter accused black women of teaching and encouraging violence against black transwomen and teaching gender essentalisam to children. I have the tweet shot now. I can post it on this sub.

this is a thread on twitter with TRAs racism and nonsense aimed at black women

https://twitter.com/Deedee_231/status/1289131584449388544

Then there was some extra misogyny with trans youtuber Kat Blaque. I am not sure what, I haven't watched the videos yet.

Laverne Cox, saying both that women are NOT responsible for what men do, but that somehow if women talk to men about how it's OK for them to be attracted to trans women then they won't be violent to trans women and kill them. There's nothing in the piece at all about how MEN should deal with their own violence: https://madamenoire.com/1080721/laverne-cox-black-cis-men-attracted-to-trans-women/

edit 1: someone already linked the afromycelium nonsense. good.

turtleduck23 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

here's one https://twitter.com/AfroMycelium/status/1287711529052274688?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1287711529052274688%7Ctwgr%5E&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fs9e.github.io%2Fiframe%2F2%2Ftwitter.min.html1287711529052274688

reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

Thank you!!

edit: Damn, that's crazy! I mean, I know it's in line with what we'd expect from TRAs, but holy shit. Black women are one of the most vulnerable minorities in the U.S., period. I just don't understand why someone would approach that conversation with such an accusatory tone.

edit 2: Like this, this is crazy to me.

https://mobile.twitter.com/_nessicarabbit/status/1287628039258615811

RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 23 insightful - 2 fun23 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 2 fun 3 years ago

Sorry about your family trying to convert you to heterosexuality against your will. How is your relationship with them now?

Anyway, I share your views on those TRAs. I can't stand them. Always having to walk on eggshells around them in case you trigger some snowflake who will proceed to contact your employer and get you fired. TRAs have taken over our spaces and made them all about them. They're not fun anymore, because they've been occupied by insufferable, parasitic twats. And it's not just the T's and the Qs. So many gay men will simp for transsexuals and nonbinaries like the good turncoat Trojan horses that they unwittingly are. I hate those people the most. I used to support the gender identity law Ireland stupidly adopted back in 2015, because I was an ignorant liberal, but now I'm in favour of Hungary's approach to transgenderism.

Smolders1Cock is god's greatest gift.[S] 10 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 3 fun 3 years ago

Thank you for asking. :)

My relationship with my family is stable, they are now perfectly accepting of my orientation and they have taken a strong liking towards the guy I'm currently dating. I've never truly 'forgiven' them for their actions, as those sort of things unfortunately don't just vanish from someone's memories and their efforts to turn me hetero are things that will remain prevalent in my mind for as long as I live, but they've apologised to no end and I genuinely do believe they mean it. I love them, I've just made it clear to them that their actions aren't things I can just move on from and they understood that perfectly fine.

Both my boyfriend and I are currently 17, and his relatives also really like me, so it all worked out perfect, I'd say.

And yeah, I can understand where you're coming from. I actually think that most individuals who have somehow managed to get themselves involved with TRA nonsense actually disagree with the gender identity foolishness, they just don't wanna say it out loud out of fear of being known as a 'bigot' or a 'transphobe'. Imho, both words have lost their original meaning and I don't think either party even knows what they mean anymore, just something they can mindlessly throw at anyone who don't agree with their braindead ideologies and deluded views on sexual orientation.

They are the most pandered to snowflakes ever and somehow think they are oppressed, but of course, whenever they come to safe spaces for LGB individuals or feel the need to degrade and/or disempower LGB culture, we're the ones who are exclusionary. We just can't win.

RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

I'm glad that your family accepts you now. Time heels all wounds. But don't be afraid to get counselling, because talking to a stranger about it goes a long way to reducing the mental scars.

Seahorse 21 insightful - 3 fun21 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 3 fun 3 years ago

Nah mate they'll come for the straights soon enough too.

We've all had to deal with the cult totalitarian bs of trans rights, the tide is turning I assure you.

Us lesbians know your pain all too well.

CJLez 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

the tide is turning I assure you.

The only thing I'm worried about is if the tide turns so fast that LGB people get swept away with it. I'm seeing more and more 'see, the slippery slope was right' arguments on news articles and, if you consider 'LGBTQIA+' people as a monolith, which 99% of straight people do, then it really does look like the homophobes were right about the 'next they'll come for your kids' narrative.

oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

This is what angers me the most, being lumped with these TRA lunatics.

davids877Straight Male Man 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

It's going to be interesting to see which approach they take against us evil straight people... Interesting in the 'watching the train wreck from a distance' sort of way rather than 'being on the train when it wrecks' sort of way.

latuspodSuper Straight 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

They definitely will if the madness doesnt end sound. After gay men they will be going right to straight women and then straight men.

I do think the wheels will fall off the bus soon. More and more people are starting to realize how fucking stupid this is. I am a straight man, and only just found out how insane TRAs have gotten recently. I have known they were insane for a few years but only recently discovered how homophobic they are. But it also is something I notice being talked about a lot more often now. I recently got together with some high school friends and they were talking about it, and understood it quite well and are against it.

It is frustrating though, most people understand biological sex and gender and are against this woke narrative but are afraid to stand up to it for fear of being labeled a bigot.

zcjp 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

Just tell them to fuck off. If they don't then tell them to fuck off again. Repeat as necessary. I do and they eventually disappear into the undergrowth. I was born at a time and in a country where the penalty for being gay was life imprisonment. Things have changed and my country is a pretty good place for gay people. These men in frocks with cocks seem determined to drag us back to the old days where we were all discriminated against. Tell them to FUCK OFF and then FUCK OFF again.

onemoredaydream 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

I think it's time for gay people to start going more to ground. Organize with each other through less-public ways. I'm not saying go back in the closet, but when it comes to the spaces where you want to hang out with other gay people only, don't make them accessible to just anyone.

Like maybe having a vetted discord server where it is all people you have met personally, or moderated by someone.

These obnoxious people do it for attention and for a sense of power. If we don't let them in, they can't demand our energy and attention. It sucks that it's come to this; being gay is just a part of who you are. You aren't crazy for wanting to enjoy your sexuality in peace. Your sexuality isn't a political statement.

MyLongestJourney 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun 3 years ago

These obnoxious people do it for attention and for a sense of power. If we don't let them in, they can't demand our energy and attention.

They are like vampires man.

Tikiri 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

I’m so sorry you had to go through this. Is there any way you can get off of Twitter? I hardly go on there anymore due to the TRA/Identitarian ghouls, even though I used to enjoy interacting with really cool people. I deleted Facebook completely too. I’m on Instagram, which isn’t ideal but isn’t as bad ... yet!

I too am beginning to think that this is a time when women and LGB people need to find ways to really organize and strategize about how to combat both the Trans menace and the alarming destruction of our civil rights, not to mention our very existence. Because that’s really what they’re trying to do, destroy anything - from words to laws - that mark our existence on this planet. The fact that they seem to be getting away with this is one of the most deeply terrifying things I have ever witnessed.

emptiedriver 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun 3 years ago

Guess what? They agree with you!

Humans have sexual orientations. Some are bisexual but everyone gets that sex of a sexual partner matters even if they're in denial.

IAmSatanVery... very... very gay. 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun 3 years ago

As one of teh gheys, I agree. Annoying little ants the transatollahs (TRA) are.

CAB_Life 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

Step one: don’t say “cis” anymore, as that immediately sets you as a player in their word-salad game. Also shit like queer, non-binary, etc should be erased from your vernacular. Step two: ignore any and all of these weirdos who think they can actually dictate who we find attractive/ form romantic partnerships with. Eventually they will leave you alone or dissociate from you to preserve their echo chambers. Step three: no need to label yourself transphobic when a belief in biological sex is valid and real with thousands of years of cultural and scientific proof behind it. The people who don’t believe in it are the equivalent of flat-earthers. Step four (the hardest imo): continue to speak sense and reason when confronted by this ideology. Don’t back down or lose your temper—let them unravel and get hysterical to reveal how tenuous and insane their beliefs and personalities are.

P.S. I’m largely speaking toward TRAs and their handmaidens, not normal transsexuals or genuine gender dysphorics.

KCStuffedAnimal 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

It has taken forever, but i'm gratified that people are finally!!! clapping back at the label "queer"!!! There is so much wrong with it, I don't even know where to begin explaining. And we really have got to nip "cis" in the bud before it catches on in wider circles.

Q-Continuum-kin 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun 3 years ago

I was told by a shit ton of people on my Twitter that...

Well there's your problem.

zcjp 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

What I don't understand is why lots of gay folks feel beholden to them. They've done nothing for us. They've trampled all over our garden. They've stolen our clothes. They've robbed us of all the progress we've made to be part of society.

Just tell them to FUCK OFF and fight their own battles rather than being cuckoos on the back of ours.

InLaymansterms 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

I feel like getting off twitter would be best. Sites like Twitter, reddit, and Tumblr, even the whole internet, are hotbeds for these kinds of people who have nothing to do w their lives besides wax poetic about gender. The sane people are out in the real world doing productive, meaningful things...and possibly show up on saidit too lol

zerosis 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

I hear you, brother. Solidarity.

[deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun 3 years ago

Cis is an organic chemistry word the TRAS took and are using it as part of their biology erasure campaign.

We can simply call ourselves lesbian, gay, bi or straight.