I know how it feels bud. What I did is give up on my cherished dreams, somewhat. I decided I aint gonna work and gonna live with minimum government support for a while, so I quit my job a year ago. Meanwhile I found a rare farely decent job. The pay sucks but... at least I have something going on and there's no freaking whamen around. Also I worked a lot on myself, especialy on feeling of neediness, approval and love and such shit. With time it faded away, so I'm more strong now, able to accept loneliness and find joy in other things - I practice acceptance. Also I'm taking 3 types of psychiatric medication. Also I smoke weed when I can get a hold of it. It helps a lot to relax and not give a fuck, the time itself passes by much easily.

I know I'll probably never have a family, never drive a decent car besides an old junk, and probably I'll never be able to travel. But I have internet, I'm good at my job, I love videogame worlds where I can built stuff and kill and shit.

Never thought it gonna be like this but it is... and there's not much I can do about it. I have bitter feelings in me every day. But somehow I manage to swallow them down... I bear some glimpse of hope for different , better future, but... meanwhile we must survive.