TERFs, I see TERFs everywhere...

whateverman · 2020-07-20T17:03:55+00:00

They will push until they reach the limits of what the average person can accept.

Remember the push for the nearly limitless amount of pronouns a few years ago? Notice how that's more or less died down in the last couple of years? As a group, they seem to have accepted that the best they're going to get out of people is using they/them as an alternative to he/him and she/her.

Notice how Reddit removed r/detrans until they received community backlash? They put it back when they realized that it made them look bad, but they would have preferred to remove the existence of detransition all together.

Have you noticed that there isn't as much TRA pushback regarding sports as there is for other issues? There are males joining and competing in women's sports teams, but many of them know that this isn't really a fight they'll win if they push too hard. They know the difference between male and female bodies and they know just how much stronger male bodies can be. Bathrooms were much easier for them to access. But decimating women in their own sports leagues shines a light on the fact that transwomen and women are different.

whateverman · 2020-09-15T17:24:37+00:00

Gold star lesbianism should be the standard. Lesbians shouldn't be pressured to have sex with men.

Lesbian women that have had the misfortune of being pressured to sleep with men through coercion or outright sexual assault admonish gold stars because they feel insecure about themselves.

Bi women don't like it because their attraction to men isn't all that unique or interesting in widely heterosexual culture.

Men don't like it because they don't get to be involved.

whateverman · 2020-07-13T21:23:47+00:00

U-Haul lesbianism. I like that lesbians are known for rapid, strong relationship commitments. I knew my wife was the only woman for me very quickly and our relationship has always been very devoted.

whateverman · 2020-07-11T01:10:29+00:00

They'll find other communities. Luckily this isn't the only one. Lesbians have always found each other despite it all.

whateverman · 2020-08-10T15:38:33+00:00

Lesbians are taken seriously when men don't want to fuck them. Old lesbians and very masculine butch lesbians are left alone more than young, highly feminine lesbians.

This sometimes happens to attractive straight women too. If a straight woman is with a man that is less attractive in some way, men will be very quick to question the sincerity of their relationship. They get mad when an attractive woman settles with someone they feel superior to. They brush it off if he's rich, but when he's not making much money they wonder if there's something wrong with her. Their sexuality is usually so targeted and so fetishized that they can't conceive that she's sexually attracted to qualities they don't have.

Men's sexuality seems to work as "I want it, therefore it's mine." Anything they don't want doesn't have any value.

whateverman · 2020-08-04T15:31:36+00:00

Reddit is not better. There are just more communities, people and paid promotion to block people out. Reddit is still full of racists and sexists; it's also got a bunch of pedophile apologists and rape porn.

Saidit is more or less what you make it. I've unsubscribed from every group except this one because this group was the only reason I moved here. But this website does actively encourage debate, so you could also feel free to voice any opposing view you have against whatever they're talking about on the front page. You won't be mass-downvoted and you'll only get removed from the conversation if you break the rules. When I'm bored, I still browse some small groups on Reddit, but I don't have an account anymore and I actively refuse to participate there.

I still think helping this group grow is a good thing, but you could also join the new Ovarit group if you're more comfortable. But I think the "let's move elsewhere" is short-sighted. Between Ovarit, Spinster, Saidit, Tumblr and various other lesbian discord servers and forums, I think it won't be hard to find a place you feel comfortable posting and browsing.

whateverman · 2020-07-20T16:08:45+00:00

It does! I actually think that this website is better and I think it will improve as time goes on. No downvoting? No porn? Pyramid of debate? I'm glad that this site was chosen among the existing alternatives. And I'm really glad we could keep our community up too.

whateverman · 2020-08-06T13:16:02+00:00

There was someone here that called someone a 'princess' as an insult. I figured he was probably a guy. Looked through the post history and yeah, a guy. There's giveaways. Certain insults, certain obsessions. Fixations on anime and polyamoury are usually pretty good hints for transbians. Some lesbians might be into that, but men have a way of being super extra about things.

whateverman · 2020-08-04T01:03:46+00:00

"My heart truly goes out to women trapped in heterosexual hell."

That is such fucking garbage.

whateverman · 2020-10-01T16:49:12+00:00

I honestly would stay far away from anyone that asks to cuddle before a first date. I think you did yourself a favour.

whateverman · 2020-07-29T16:51:59+00:00

For various reasons, I decided a few years ago not to pursue physical stuff with men anymore and I publicly identify as a lesbian.

FuUuUuUuck you lady. Political lesbians are the worst.

whateverman · 2020-07-20T17:38:19+00:00

There was a push for it. If you have attended any Pride events in the last several years, you may have seen it in person. Ze/Zem/Zir and Xe//Xem/Xir were the most common I saw the push for in real life. It's died down somewhat since 2017/2018.

whateverman · 2020-08-31T19:56:23+00:00

I'm used to it. It's everywhere.

I'm more tired of straight people not knowing how to interact with me because their sexuality pervades everything they say and do. God forbid I be nice to them since they'll misinterpret it as flirting. Parties are just for straights to find someone to fuck. I feel like an alien. They're so fucking horny all the fucking time. It's easier to ignore in the ads, media and stories. But it doesn't just end there.

I feel at ease with lesbians and gay men. Straight friends are nice, but they don't really understand.

whateverman · 2020-08-06T16:58:04+00:00

Terf is the obvious giveaway with its frequency of use. Women tend to go along with it to show support of their friends, but even when they make violent threats, they usually just throw it in once or twice on Twitter and move on. Transbians specifically will not let it go. There is a layer of obsession that you do not get from other groups, even other transexuals and TRAs. Constant "fuck terfs" and "kill terfs" and "shut up terf?" Transbian nearly 100% of the time.

Other insults are just anything that attacks women specifically. Slut, bitch, whore, etc. When you can really read the disdain in how it's used, it's usually male. There's a visceral hatred that you can just feel when you hear or see it. When a woman says slut, she's shaming a woman for sleeping around a lot. It's a slur with a straight definition. When a man says it, there's usually a distinct disgust and hatred added in that truly wishes to express that you are less. Something that says die. There's an inherent rage for men like that.

whateverman · 2020-07-15T17:09:23+00:00

"Lesbian attraction is complex."

WOMEN. I LIKE PUSSY.

It's really as simple as that. I love my spouse more than anyone and would only choose her, but if she had a penis we would only have ever been friends.

whateverman · 2020-07-11T14:59:04+00:00

Pride is for straight people and corporate sponsorship now. It's not unusual for events to turn out like this one did. I'm sorry you had to experience that.

whateverman · 2020-08-10T19:51:59+00:00

She's not a lesbian. She's bisexual, most likely.

Reasons she could be lying:

Internalized biphobia/misogyny. She may look down on herself in some way for being a woman attracted to both sexes. She may fear that you'll leave her if she came out as bisexual.
She's a political lesbian and has started fantasizing about men due to sexual frustration. A typically straight woman pretending to be a lesbian scenario.

The first one is forgivable. The second one is not. Do you feel that she is attracted to you? Is she aware you want nothing to do with her male-focused fantasies if she's actually bisexual?

whateverman · 2020-07-21T00:41:44+00:00

It's just how I'm wired. If I hadn't met my wife, I'm pretty sure I would have been satisfied staying single for the rest of my life with the occasional date or fling. I have dated other women and found that I'm extremely picky about the qualities I want from a romantic partner. I broke up with and rejected a number of women, stayed single for a while and met my wife by chance. Wasn't even looking for anyone new.

whateverman · 2020-08-19T16:43:12+00:00

Do you have that other thing happen to you with straight guys that categorize you as a male-friend equivalent? Where they call you bro and say things they would never say around a woman they want to fuck? Like, what is that? It's like, because you're more masculine-presenting and attracted to women, they forget you might not like some of the sexist jokes and objectifying comments they have to make.

Doesn't happen to me now that my hair's long and I wear feminine outfits.

whateverman · 2020-07-29T15:42:34+00:00

Ellen has been rumoured to be horrid to work for and to be around if you aren’t as famous and rich as she is. I’ll always be grateful for what she’s done for lesbians as a whole by coming out when she did, but I’m not surprised that she’s being investigated now.

whateverman · 2020-09-16T17:10:00+00:00

Well, exes are exes for a reason.

whateverman · 2020-08-27T22:22:13+00:00

Separate, but together. My wife and I have our own friends, our own hobbies, our own goals and our own separate lives. We spend most of our time together (especially lately due to social distancing), but we're separate people.

We are a package deal, though. Any relative or friend that has a problem with my wife is gone. If my wife greatly dislikes one of my friends, they're gone (this has only happened once and I'm glad I ended that friendship). I will always take her side because I trust her wholeheartedly.

whateverman · 2020-08-05T20:05:28+00:00

You may or may not kamikaze yourself. Death threats, stalking, assault, harassment are all knocking on your door as soon as you say a word to the wrong ear. Not all of us have Rowling's fuck-you money or celebrity. If you want to have those sorts of discussions, it might be worth it to connect with a radical feminist group in your area so that if you lose friends, you still have a community to connect with.

whateverman · 2020-07-11T03:54:00+00:00

Now would be a great time to start archiving our history and reaching out to older the remaining older dyke communities while they still exist. I’ve been saving lesbian focused magazines and zines to keep others from erasing us entirely.

whateverman · 2020-08-31T20:57:21+00:00

Yeah, I do. But it's not directed at me and or present within our interactions. When I interact with gay men, I at least know their sexuality isn't AT me.

I've had plenty of straight women assume I'm flirting with them. They'd ask if I was into them, if I'd ask them out if they were gay, if they were my type, etc. They liked the idea that I might want them in the same way a man would. Pure validation. Some would get mad when I'd flat out say I would never be interested in them.

Some would find out I was gay and would become homophobic and hostile because obviously I'm into them because I'm a lesbian.

Do I have straight friends? Yeah. But we're different and it colours our interactions.

whateverman · 2020-07-27T20:35:56+00:00

Yeah, until I found others I fit in with. I feel more out of place as an adult than I did when I was younger.

I feel like a lot of my straight friends are obsessed with sex, hook-up culture, bars, partying and drugs. I think I might just be a prude.

I know my experience can't speak for all lesbians, but in my case, I just happily embrace the homebody, straight-laced, monogamous married life. I'm still young and feel ancient inwardly when comparing myself to most of my straight friends. Most of my lesbian friends in real life aren't much different.

whateverman · 2020-07-17T21:56:09+00:00

Male comedians might be the only ones that can. Journalism is a dying trade in the age of social media and comedians seem to be the only ones that get a pass to comment on this stuff. Dave Chappelle got away with making jokes about it, which is a pretty big deal in a Netflix-branded special.

whateverman · 2020-07-11T00:30:57+00:00

Yep. Banning TL was the nail in the coffin for me.

whateverman · 2020-08-10T18:42:07+00:00

If all of us were butch, do you think half of their bullshit would be happening? I think lesbians would be off the table.

No, I don't. They would just target the younger butch lesbians they deem the most attractive. Their tactics would be different, but their intent would be the same; they want to fuck women they feel entitled to fucking.

I hate to say it, but I love Covid-19 mask culture. I love wearing a mask with sunglasses outdoors. Sometimes I wear a sweatshirt outside in the summer heat just to hide. Clothes don't stop rapists, but they do stop the average man from looking at me. I don't want to be treated like I'm invisible when I'm older, but I think I'll prefer it to being objectified and gawked at.

whateverman · 2020-09-16T17:05:33+00:00

I've heard contradicting information about this. The creator went back and forth about whether or not to allow transwomen to openly use the app. I couldn't tell if she was being wishy-washy in order to find out what would make her the most money, or if she was just outright unaware about what both markets demand.

whateverman · 2020-07-28T17:30:56+00:00

Retired goth kid. Or gothic business casual. My wardrobe doesn't really have anything that isn't black, white, dark red, dark green or dark navy. Tight-fit black turtle necks, white button-up shirts, dark red sweater dresses, black blazers, black heeled boots, no logos, etc. I don't like to stand out, but I like a tailored fit.

whateverman · 2020-07-27T18:18:40+00:00

I don't. Never will.

whateverman · 2020-07-17T18:01:06+00:00

Oh sure, because PIV is the only existing way to have sex with a woman.

As if all women and lesbians just love out of shape, ugly, sweaty thrusting for a few minutes and then semen.

whateverman · 2020-08-21T15:58:12+00:00

I am more immediately at ease with my lesbian friends than anyone else because they just get it.

whateverman · 2020-08-12T23:33:57+00:00

I've always more or less associated it with black butch lesbians. I don't think it's a big crime or anything, but I would laugh a little if a white lesbian called herself a stud.

whateverman · 2020-07-12T22:57:43+00:00

So much for being the neutral subreddit.

whateverman · 2020-09-17T18:15:32+00:00

Bisexuals are the most biphobic people around.

whateverman · 2020-08-27T17:39:43+00:00

Red Flags:

-Quotes as bio. Any quote. Doesn't matter what it is.

-Preferred pronouns. Big nope.

-Hiking under her list of hobbies (unless most of her photos show her outdoors).

-Only photos are indoor selfies.

-Only photos are of her with groups of other girls.

-Short, multi-coloured hair. Not as much of a red flag if it's long. This one is mostly based on anecdotal experiences for me.

-Fixated on hating children, cats or dogs. Hard pass. It's fine to not be fond of them or want them, but if one of your defining traits is hating children or animals, you're creepy.

-Fixated on one music genre without being a musician. This is the kind of person that will lecture you on shit you're an expert in. This is also the kind of person that will have a mid-life crisis.

Green Flags:

-Solo photos of her out and about. Playing sports, fishing, at a restaurant, travelling, painting, whatever. A selfie or two is all right, but I want to see that she actually does things and has a life.

-No more than one photo with friends (if any at all). Also shows she has a social life, but isn't insecure or trying to prove anything.

-Normal coloured hair at almost any length or style, butch or femme.

-Bilingual. Real exposure to another language and culture outside the anglosphere.

-Some kind of creative talent. Putting in the effort to master a certain skill is sexy.

whateverman · 2020-08-07T21:13:01+00:00

I've U-hauled twice. I have short nails. I've had short hair. I love plaid. I've driven a Subaru.

whateverman · 2020-07-24T18:22:11+00:00

LesbianActually was always just kind of...there. It's been inclusive of transwomen for as long as I can recall, though. I wouldn't say it was overrun so much as it was always just a place for selfies. It's honestly pretty harmless.

whateverman · 2020-07-19T16:18:49+00:00

My perfect Sunday is one where I sleep until 9 or later, have breakfast in bed, walk my dog, do some yoga, workout, read a book, paint, or do something else that I find relaxing.

whateverman · 2020-07-17T20:00:32+00:00

I have to give them credit where credit is due since their community seems to have largely ignored this post.

whateverman · 2020-09-21T23:08:09+00:00

Your account is only a few days old and almost exclusively focused on bi girls. You seem pretty fixated on them.

whateverman · 2020-08-19T18:38:43+00:00

I have a few close guy friends, but they're all old friends from my school years or extended family. I don't think I could easily befriend other men now.

It's weird. I can see them, empathize with them and try to understand them, but there's this tacit understanding that they're always thinking about women, sex with women, being with women. It's weird and the only thing that seems to turn it off is shared history or being categorized into a non-fuckable label (family, old friend). If they can't do either and they're not attracted to you, you don't even exist and they won't even see you. They'll outright ignore you and barely recognize you as a fellow human being.

It's so frustrating because there's this part of me that wants to say "I'm human too and I wish we could be friends," but they'd never see any value in that. You're either a fuck hole or you're nothing.

whateverman · 2020-08-04T19:19:25+00:00

You have no post history here. You created this account 15 hours ago. Another poster has done the same exact thing. At this point, I am only going to trust a new server created by MaxinistaFemmeinista if she feels like creating one. She's done so much work to preserve our community and ensure it isn't lost. Stop targeting women here. All these random accounts asking about Discord servers is starting to feel fishy.

whateverman · 2020-08-04T00:58:04+00:00

To learn a third language. I'm lucky enough to know two, but I've never just sat down and decided to learn a new language before. My spouse and I are going to practice together. We'll probably develop a weird accent between the two of us sharing it primarily, but we'll do our best.

whateverman · 2020-07-26T23:36:08+00:00

That is really inappropriate for your dad of all people to say, let alone anyone else.

whateverman · 2020-07-22T19:20:14+00:00

Favourite Lesbian Movie: The Hours

Favourite Straight Movie: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

What they have in common: Both movies are sad. Both are more about grief, heartbreak and freedom than they are about romance. Both feature the emotional labour expected of both men and women. Both show how emotionally taxing and rewarding all relationships can be.

whateverman · 2020-07-15T17:02:55+00:00

I knew since I was a tween, but I was too ashamed to really admit it to myself until I was in my early twenties.

whateverman · 2020-08-19T18:51:57+00:00

I do think gay men can understand this to some degree. I've heard at least some complaints about straight women treating them like women or using them as a prop rather than an actual friend.

whateverman · 2020-08-11T17:36:50+00:00

Only with my closest friends and family. I'm extremely closed off to people I don't know very well, shy. It sucks because I'm actually pretty extroverted a lot of the time. I open up a bit more when I notice positive qualities in people.

whateverman · 2020-08-06T17:07:18+00:00

thanks i hate it so much

whateverman · 2020-07-27T18:11:41+00:00

When I was in fifth grade I had a crush on my best friend. Our friend group talked about boys a lot and I participated just to feel included. When we discussed favourite boy band members, I'd just pick one randomly. When they'd talk about boys in school they liked, I just picked one that was from another class because I had never interacted with him and he seemed so far away in our small world. My best friend never participated and didn't seem interested in boys at all at the time. She called me out for lying when we were alone; eventually, I just stopped lying about it.

I had never heard the word lesbian or even considered girls could like each other in the same way, but she was my first kiss and my first crush. She moved away before we went to high school. We had a fight because we were each jealous of new friends that we made in middle school. It was so stupid. We reconnected through mutual friends as adults and honestly, she hasn't changed much. She's still great. We don't hang out really, but we do catch up now and then.

whateverman · 2020-07-26T05:49:11+00:00

I went on a couple dates with this girl I met at a grocery store. She seemed nice and was cute. On the second date it became pretty apparent that she was a political lesbian. She would just not stop talking about how much she hated men. I tried to let her know I wasn't interested in talking about that and gave it one more go. Third date was also a bust and I told her it wasn't working out. She called me a bitch and we never spoke again.

whateverman · 2020-07-26T05:41:36+00:00

I dated a girl for a few months that was really into clubbing with her friends. I just couldn't take it anymore. It's just not what I'm into. We were just a bad match.

whateverman · 2020-07-23T17:34:36+00:00

I'm emotionally needy and I've always been attracted to independent women. I want my wife's attention like 24/7, but if she actually paid attention to me that much I'd lose interest. It all balances out because those two wants ensure that we have a relationship, but that we also each get enough space and have our own lives. But I acknowledge that if I didn't meet her, I probably would have stayed single forever. It's too demanding to have another human being balance between my contradicting needs and wants. I'm lucky to have someone I naturally have a good dynamic with, but I've been a neurotic, distant girlfriend and I'm not proud of that.

whateverman · 2020-07-22T21:06:37+00:00

There used to be this podcast by a married lesbian couple called 2 Homos. They just talked about whatever. It's defunct, but I enjoyed listening to it while it was running.

whateverman · 2020-07-20T15:33:13+00:00

If you’re bilingual you might have more luck if your language is largely spoken where you are. A lot of the blurs of the definition of lesbianism comes from English fuckery.

whateverman · 2020-07-18T04:15:10+00:00

You could always create a Ruqqus community yourself and do the work promoting and moderating it. If you want to see it there, why not make a sister group?

whateverman · 2020-09-16T17:14:49+00:00

I have absolutely no idea. I asked my wife and she said this:

"There's this face that you make when you think something is really cute that looks like you're distressed."

She then proceeded to try to make the face I make. I have to admit that it was cute when she did it.

whateverman · 2020-08-19T20:06:01+00:00

Six months unless she didn't have a job; if she didn't work, I'd wait for a year. If I was fully committed to someone that wasn't working for that long, I'd more or less be fine footing the bill for most things at that point.

whateverman · 2020-08-05T02:26:40+00:00

Futch? Chapstick lesbian? I lean closer to femme than I do to butch, but I am also not the most feminine person out there.

whateverman · 2020-07-22T18:05:29+00:00

How can I care for someone in a healthy way, if I don't care about myself?

You really can't. Or at the very least, you have to accept that sharing your life with someone comes with the fact that they have a say in what's shared between you. If you are depressed and don't value yourself, a caring partner would be pretty invested in helping you get through it. To stay together, doing all the things you need to do to cope and even recover would be a consistent effort on your part. It's even harder to do when you're single because the only person to be an active caretaker is you.

Your depression will keep you from what you want in life. It will keep you feeling disconnected from those that care about you. It will cause you to keep ending relationships and feeling lonely. I really empathize with this post and it really sucks that you've been depressed for that long. But if I were your friend, family or partner, I would push you to help yourself even more than you may already be doing no matter how hard it is to deal with mental illness. And if you told me how hard it was, all I would say is "yeah, it is" and keep rooting for you to keep going.

whateverman · 2020-07-19T23:47:42+00:00

I also appreciate the lack of porn. Reddit is disgusting.

whateverman · 2021-03-10T19:10:29+00:00

Watching Reddit TQs treat straight people like they've been treating lesbians is hilariously sad.

whateverman · 2020-09-19T19:48:00+00:00

They can have any transbian they want.

whateverman · 2020-08-12T23:14:52+00:00

Rainforests. Just constant rain. I wish I could be where it rains all the time.

whateverman · 2020-08-10T20:19:27+00:00

You have to talk to her about this. She is gaslighting you, but I wouldn't start from that angle. I would simply state that you feel that you are being lied to and that for your marriage to work, you need to know who she is. Ask her point-blank if she is sexually attracted to men.

If she says no, I would suggest marital counselling. If this is how it turns out, she most likely has a deep-seated fear that you will leave her or think less of her. It's not okay for her to lie to you and it's not okay for her to force you to know about her porn habits, even incidentally. Either that or she is straight and you just bring the emotional security that she feels men aren't capable of.

whateverman · 2020-07-30T20:18:21+00:00

Men are different, but I can't say that I don't relate to or empathize with them at all. I have a couple of male friends I'd call close and I'm lucky to have them in my life. There are societal pressures they face that I will never experience or understand. I just try my best to be a good friend and relative when needed.

I'm sometimes jealous of their natural physical strength. It's like a superpower!

whateverman · 2020-07-19T16:14:58+00:00

I don't think so. And honestly, there are other forums and servers that are entirely lesbian-focused if you're worried.

whateverman · 2020-07-16T18:37:24+00:00

This. Your money and your voice are valuable to the community.

I have suggestions, but I'm hesitant to even share them on a public forum so they don't get ruined by idiots. They're not secret, but being a lesbian is dicey these days.

whateverman · 2020-07-11T14:51:54+00:00

Present: Atheist

Background: Evangelical

I love witchy shit, though.

whateverman · 2020-07-11T00:15:38+00:00

I think it would be more productive to simply close your account and move on. You could just participate here, on Discord, or on other lesbian-focused sites instead.

whateverman · 2020-09-07T16:01:59+00:00

Did anyone here come from a religious background and really, really struggle with coming out to yourself because of it?

Pretty much. Evangelical Christian background. Being a lesbian equated to being ugly, a whore, a sinner, a homewrecker or whatever else the women of our church community felt like admonishing me with. The men were worse and that's all I really care to say.

whateverman · 2020-08-26T18:28:33+00:00

Some other great ape relative. If we fuck this all up, a closely-related species might be able to best understand where we went wrong and how exactly they can do things differently. Something like us, but better. Either that or crows.

whateverman · 2020-08-24T16:30:09+00:00

Frequent coincidental contact is the way. Just be somewhere a lot and you're likely to make a friend there. Work is the easiest place to make friends. Even if you work remotely you can go to some kind of co-working space you're going to meet new people. Anything outside of that requires you to make a regular commitment. University, religious services, volunteering, sports teams, weekly meet-up groups or anything else that requires you to make a consistent effort.

Dates are more clear because you schedule them with the person you're seeing until you no longer need to schedule in seeing one another. Friendships are different. If you make one of those personal ads seeking friends, it'll be harder to connect after one meet up.

whateverman · 2020-08-07T17:48:51+00:00

My wife and I used to want children. We've decided it wasn't in the cards for us. Maybe we'll foster older children someday, maybe not. Our current lifestyle, career goals and other aspirations are great for us, but wouldn't really be fair for children. We've also decided that neither of us want to be responsible for bringing new life into the world in its current state. There are already too many people.

We live in a one-bedroom apartment with our dogs. It's about 2000 square feet. We want to buy a home in an expensive urban area, so we'll probably never own a house. We're aiming for a one-bedroom or two-bedroom condo with a strata that allows pets. We'd be happy with 800 square feet at the smallest. We're pretty minimalist with our decor and household items. We won't need much storage.

whateverman · 2020-08-04T19:00:07+00:00

I'm becoming wary of some of the kinds of posts people are sharing here.

"Why don't we move elsewhere?"

"I am making a Discord server. Want to join?"

"What will we do if Saidit disappears?"

"Saidit is awful and it sucks this is all we have."

Like, all this is not helpful at all. Perhaps we could have a stickied post at the top outlining where all the pessimists can lurk?

whateverman · 2020-08-01T19:46:29+00:00

Canada!

whateverman · 2020-07-27T18:34:49+00:00

It's so weird that we could! Neither of us even really talked about it. I don't think she even knew the word lesbian either. We just knew that we were different from the others.

whateverman · 2020-07-20T06:33:41+00:00

Why would anyone be in favour of their own censorship? You can challenge racist viewpoints or simply mark other responses you find insightful. It's easy.

whateverman · 2020-12-02T18:20:12+00:00

I really wonder what the next thing is going to be. Trans-racial people? Uncle Ruckus was a joke character, but there's already been at least a few stories of people obsessed with a race or culture they're not.

DID self-diagnoses? Teens and twenty-somethings on Tik Tok are faking an extremely rare mental disorder so that they can claim each personality as a different age, race, gender or even species, referring to themselves as we/us. Like they're all our reigning monarchs.

Otherkins were a thing for a while, but trans-species was too weird to really get popular. Fucking furries.

What's it going to be?

whateverman · 2020-10-01T17:01:19+00:00

Lush has this scent they called Breath of God. Now, the regular perfume smells bad, but the solid perfume stick is my favourite scent. My wife used to put a tiny bit just under her ears and on her wrists and it smells amazing. It wears off more quickly than liquid perfume and it's much more subtle. She stopped buying it when they stopped selling the perfume sticks. It's not as convenient to keep around anymore. Neither of us wear any perfumes or scents anymore.

I'm actually also a fan of Armani Code cologne. It's not as overpowering as other colognes I've smelled, but one spray is enough to last the day and any more would be too much. It's the only liquid scent I've liked at all, really. Perfumes always smell...I don't know how else to put this, but sour? It hurts my nose. And colognes are always so strong so that they can hide that guy stink. I DO like fruit and vanilla body sprays, but those wear off quickly.

whateverman · 2020-08-22T17:56:15+00:00

On our second date, my wife invited me over to her rich parents house and wooed me with their many dogs and a cheese platter before sitting under the summer stars with a glass of champagne. I fucking love dogs, cheese and alcohol so I was won over pretty quickly.

My first date was always going out for coffee. Second dates were always a little cosier. I love the lake idea. Perfect summer date.

whateverman · 2020-08-17T16:09:54+00:00

Altering memories specifically for the purpose of making most people forget they ever met me.

whateverman · 2020-08-13T16:05:16+00:00

Running. I've gotten really into it since quarantine started. Also a lot of bodyweight fitness and yoga.

whateverman · 2020-08-10T20:25:18+00:00

You're welcome! And yeah, that's definitely something that needs to be addressed. Either way, something's up.

whateverman · 2020-08-09T02:07:33+00:00

If she loves talking about how much she hates men all the time, that’s a bad sign. If she has had a really bad heartbreak with a man, tread carefully if it was a recent breakup. Being a lesbian should not be centred around misandry.

I’m so sorry that happened to you.

whateverman · 2020-08-04T00:55:12+00:00

This is fantastic, thank you!

whateverman · 2020-07-22T15:35:22+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion! I’ve already reached out to a couple.

whateverman · 2020-07-15T17:43:08+00:00

Lesbian bars and spaces have disappeared. The same thing has happened on dating apps and sites. These days you're better off flirting with a woman without knowing if she's interested in women or not. Being okay with rejection and putting yourself out there gives you a lot more options.

whateverman · 2020-07-14T17:33:17+00:00

I really wished I saved that list somewhere for you, but I'd like to suggest creating a new list of books here. Off the bat, I could throw some Sarah Waters titles out there. Tipping the Velvet and Fingersmith are good reads.

whateverman · 2020-09-21T19:20:52+00:00

Spin classes.

whateverman · 2020-09-19T19:41:04+00:00

I used to think it was just all in good fun. But now I hate how it's exploited young boys for money and sex. Desmond Naples was sold to the drag community for clout and I'll never forgive what they've done to him or other children.

whateverman · 2020-08-18T20:17:00+00:00

Mangos and coronation grapes. I need them every summer.

whateverman · 2020-08-17T19:43:04+00:00

I think I'd want an animal that I could work with. Horseback riding, falconry, sled dog riding, etc. I don't live the kind of life that allows something like that, though. I train my dogs to do a lot of tricks, but they're still pets rather than working partners.

Otherwise, I think having a ferret would be pretty cool. My wife vetoed that idea because they stink. I don't blame her, but they're just so funny. Little stinky slinky friends.

whateverman · 2020-08-17T19:35:30+00:00

Rembrandt's "Night Watch" is my favourite painting. I just love the way he used light in his work.

whateverman · 2020-08-04T19:24:32+00:00

You're awesome!

whateverman · 2020-07-23T15:24:06+00:00

Yep. We’re everywhere.

whateverman · 2020-07-22T18:24:38+00:00

You're a really admirable person to invest that much care and concern into a friendship. You sound like the kind of friend that values genuine connection with and compassion for others.

But sharing what's wrong and being vulnerable also takes a certain amount of investment in a friendship. If she keeps being distant when shit hits the fan, it's up to her. If she needs someone to help her get through things, she has to be the one to reach out. Otherwise, you'll just keep worrying and trying to get an answer out of her. That's really not a fair dynamic for you. The best you can do is express that you're there for someone if they need it. If they don't take the offer, that's up to them. Don't dig.

whateverman