In college, I was best friends with the guy who had the “walk on water” scholarship. He had a complete trust fund that would have paid for him to go nearly anywhere but he and I went to this hick liberal arts school because they all but paid us.

I got well more than half my education paid for but he got the full everything. Free room, board, tuition, books, stipend. So e would just petition his trust fund executor (his mom) for a nicer computer every year since that’s what he was studying.

Then my friend found out about this guy who was also in our same year. I can’t go so far as to say that he was “literally” retarded because I don’t recall what his actual condition was. He may have had some brilliance in there for something. But he was always very slow on the uptake, spoke with a more than moderately severe lisp that seemed to go far beyond any normal physical or emotional impediments, and had to have his text books scanned in and read to him by a computer.

It was college though and most peeps were pretty cool so if anyone ever made fun of him, even the biggest assholes almost always jumped to his defense. I have to say, he always did enjoy it A LOT when other people made fun of the people who tried to make fun of him. All in all, I’d say, he was about on par with someone with slightly less emotional and intellectual capacity than Old Gregg. If you gave him some time, he could often come up with something observant or funny to say but he had zero ability to connect with most other people, well beyond autism.

My walk on water friend never made fun of him. Never spoke to him. Never acknowledged him. But OBVIOUSLY was FURIOUS that “this person” was going to earn the same degree as him. To which I always reminded him that he had picked this college himself. I’m paraphrasing for plausible deniability but our school ACTUALLY billed itself as the top choice for the average student. My friend and I were just the filler they paid to maintain the curve average students would expect.

So anyway, for some reason, this retard was both given a drivers license and allowed to drive and obviously then crashed his car and died. All I’m saying is, things find a way of evening out in the end.