What Happened To Jon Stewart? (17:08) ~ The Jimmy Dore Show

knob · 2023-02-02T01:05:20+00:00

you're boring

knob · 2023-02-01T23:46:37+00:00

I told him to do it. It's my fault.

Next: Muslim jokes.

RIP

knob · 2023-02-01T23:45:26+00:00

When submitting a new link, scroll down to 'options', and deslect the box next to "send replies to my inbox".

knob · 2023-02-01T23:07:02+00:00

1 What did the waiter say to the group of Jewish women sitting in a restaurant? “Hello, is anything okay?”

2 A Jewish woman in a hospital says to the doctor that she wants to be transferred. The doctor says, “What is it, the food?” She says, “The food is fine. I can’t kvetch.” “Is it the room?” he says. “No,” she says, “the room is beautiful. I can’t kvetch.” “What about the staff? Is there a problem with the staff?” She says, “No. They’re beautiful people. I can’t kvetch.” “So why do you want to be transferred?” he asks. “I can’t kvetch,” she says.

knob · 2023-02-01T23:03:57+00:00

…Maish and Benny, who walk by a church whose sign says that anyone who converts will be given $1,000. Maish goes in to check it out. When he returns, Benny says, “Did you get the $1,000?” And Maish says, “Don’t you people ever think of anything but money?”

knob · 2023-02-01T23:00:35+00:00

When you tell a peasant a joke, he laughs three times: once when you tell it, once when you explain it, and once when he understands it. When you tell a Polish nobleman a joke, he laughs twice: once when you tell it, and once when you explain it; but he never actually understands it. When you tell a Russian officer a joke, he only laughs once. He’ll never understand it, and if you try to explain it to him, he might put you in jail. When you tell a Jew a joke, he interrupts you to say that he’s already heard it, and, by the way, you’re telling it wrong.

knob · 2023-02-01T22:53:45+00:00

A Jewish girl becomes president and says to her mother, “You’ve got to come to the inauguration, Mom.” The mother says, “All right, I’ll go, I’ll go. What am I going to wear? It’s so cold. Why did you have to become president? What kind of job is that? You’ll have nothing but tsuris.” But she goes to the inauguration, and as her daughter is being sworn in by the chief justice, the mother turns to the senator next to her and says, “You see that girl up there? Her brother’s a doctor.”

knob · 2023-02-01T22:50:42+00:00

A rabbi, a priest and a Baptist minister are talking about who is the best at what they do. Is it the priest, the minister or the rabbi? So, they decide to separately go into the woods and convert a bear. Whoever is the best at converting a bear is the best at what they do.

So, a week later they meet and they ask the priest: “How did it go?” and he says: “It was fantastic! I read to him from the Bible, and Sunday morning he was in the front row of the church.”

Then they say to the minister: “How did it go for you?” The minister says, “Fantastic! I found the bear in the woods, I gave him one of my sermons, I took him down to the lake and baptized him and Sunday morning he was in the front row of my church!”

Then they look at the rabbi and he’s in a body cast from head to toe. So they say, “What happened to you?” He goes, “Well, I shouldn’t have started with circumcision.”

knob · 2023-02-01T22:47:27+00:00

What did the Jewish mother say to her porn actress daughter after a gang bang?

“You were the best one.”

(Sarah Silverman)

knob · 2023-02-01T22:44:28+00:00

A woman called the switchboard of a hospital and asked how Mrs. Schwartz in room 102 was doing. The switchboard operator put her on hold for a minute, then came back and reported: “Mrs. Schwartz in room 102 is doing very well! Why, just this morning her lab work came back and everything is normal. Her doctor is pleased and says she will be able to go home next week.”

“Hurray!” shouted the caller.

“You must be a relative to be so happy,” observed the switchboard operator.

“No,” explained the caller, “I’m Mrs. Schwartz in room 102. Nobody tells me anything!”

knob · 2023-02-01T22:39:32+00:00

Two hundred years ago in Poland, a town’s Jews were in a panic: a Christian girl had been found murdered, and the Jews were worried they’d be blamed for the crime.

The town’s rabbi called a special meeting to discuss the situation. Just as everyone was sitting down, a Jewish townsman ran into the hall. “I have wonderful news!” he told the gathering. “The murdered girl was Jewish!”

knob · 2023-02-01T22:36:31+00:00

Moshe was a religious Jew who sported a hat, beard, and suit. He prayed in the synagogue every day, kept Shabbat, ate only kosher food, and gave abundantly to charity.

When Moshe turned 80, he thought, “I’ve been good all my life – let me try to have some fun.”

He went to a barber and shaved off his beard. He took off his hat, and bought some jeans and a tee shirt. He bought a brand new convertible too, drove to Las Vegas, and was cruising the strip, when – bam! A truck hit Moshe’s new convertible.

As Moshe lay in the wreckage, he called out “God! I’ve been a good Jew my whole life! I know I slipped a little the past few weeks, but did you really have to do this to me?”

“Moshe?” a Heavenly voice called out, full of concern. “Moshe – is that you? I didn’t recognize you!”

knob · 2023-02-01T22:33:29+00:00

All his life, Shloime hoped to win the lottery. Each week, he’d pray to God intently, pleading that this be the week he’d finally win.

For years he prayed for the lottery – but he never won.

Finally one day, in the middle of Shloime’s fervent prayers, a heavenly voice was heard in the synagogue: “Shloime, buy a ticket already!”

knob · 2023-02-01T22:30:24+00:00

Two men, a Jew and a Gentile, were marooned on a desert island. The Gentile immediately got to work, dragging rocks to spell out “SOS” in huge letters on the beach, gathering driftwood to build a bonfire, and thinking about ways to build a boat.

The Jew, however, merely sat on the beach and waited.

“What’s the matter with you?” the Gentile exclaimed. “Don’t you want to be rescued?”

The Jew said calmly, “Look, I live in a city with a big Jewish Federation. Last year, I donated a million dollars to them. The year before, I donated a million dollars to them. This year, wherever I am, they’ll find me!”

knob · 2023-02-01T22:27:17+00:00

Two men are waiting for a train. The younger man asks the older man for the time, but the older man ignores him. After a while, the younger man again asks for the time and again the older man ignores him. Frustrated, the younger man finally asks, “Why won’t you answer me when I ask you for the time?”

The older man sighs and explains: “Look, if I tell you the time, we’ll start to talk. Then when the train comes, you might sit down next to me. Perhaps we’ll get to know each other, and maybe I’ll eventually invite you to my house for Shabbat dinner. Maybe then you and my daughter would really get along – why, you might even get engaged! And why would I want a son-in-law who can’t even afford a watch?”

knob · 2023-02-01T20:13:30+00:00

Sorry, mate. I think that was a legitimate concern, and if there was a need to debunk it, they could have tried to debunk it, rather than kill the debate. There are several 'lobbies' (if I can call them that) on Reddit that have fucked up the discussions. One of them I would call an LGBTQ+ lobby. Many on Saidit are familiar with these lobbies, and perhaps this is a topic for /s/asksaidit in due course. (BTW - PM me if you want to appeal the decision.)

knob · 2023-02-01T20:08:02+00:00

Good reference - though if I may: Fox news naturally wanted to attack Maddow for anything, including semantics. If she mistakenly overemphasized the effectiveness of the vaccine because she or her writers forgot to insert 'reduces' before 'transmission', then she's made a very common mistake that anyone can make. There isn't much of a difference betwen the two claims - to reduce or to stop transmission - but of course Fox works for the .01% assholes who wanted the virus to spread, so they had to do their jobs and attack this one mistake, claiming OUTRAGE and wanting an APOLOGY. Absolutely this is evidence of the over-the-top fuckery Fox did on a regular basis, pushing that big corp and .01% agenda. If she made one minor mistake in her several decades career, Fox is responsible for daily lies to the public for 40 years, promoting the lies of the GOP non-stop. Trump also copied Fox verbatim, as did Sinclair: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvtNyOzGogc. The number of lies Trump told numbered in the 10s of thousands, and were copy-pasta Fox talking, piped-in from the NY office (DC to NY to LA to DC). Seriously, we've been seriously fucked over in the US by Fox and the GOP, regardless of one's political opinions (I agree with the GOP on a number of issues, but their lies should catch up to them at some point. Lies aren't forgivable, and allow numerous corporate and wealthy abuses. Consider for example why we're not taxing the rich like we used to. Dems joined the GOP on that front.) mkay?

knob · 2023-02-01T18:31:21+00:00

No - she didn't spread misinformation. She offered excellent reports.

'Disinformation and misinformation propaganda puppet' is literally Carlson's job description. No one knows what he actually believes, as he's 24/7 misinformation talking points for the right. Fox has done more damage to the US than most other corporations. Pesticides might rank that high.

knob · 2023-02-01T17:19:54+00:00

Did you do something to the mod's butt?

What did you write (or what was the topic)?

knob · 2023-02-01T17:16:33+00:00

Awesome

knob · 2023-02-01T17:14:07+00:00

see the statement to which you respond

knob · 2023-02-01T11:20:50+00:00

If you listen to him you will see that he promotes misinformation that is spread primarily by the right, not the left. He uses the same talking points and so-called secret sources that the right use. The right are also criticizing military support for Ukraine. The right have been spreading the COVID hoax claims and anti-vax BS. Rachel Maddow was the last properly left-leaning commentator, and you easily contrast her amazing approaches with Dore's misinformation for the benefit of the .01% and the right.

knob · 2023-02-01T09:18:53+00:00

Moreover, Jimmy Dore is always an attention whoring misinformation shitstain who has absolutely no interest in facts, or anything redeemable.

knob · 2023-02-01T02:56:52+00:00

They are indeed. Not sure why they have to be castrati, but they get to write for the Lord Rothermere.

knob · 2023-02-01T02:28:38+00:00

to the usual folks who plan the sell-off after their coins reach a reasonable level - biggest financial scam in a long time

knob · 2023-02-01T02:26:36+00:00

Daily Star writers chuckled ...now he too can write for us.

knob · 2023-01-30T22:04:15+00:00

“This study didn’t identify a cause for this trend, but other research suggests the main culprits are increasing rates of obesity and diabetes.”

Well, fuck, not exactly what we're looking for, is it?

As of 2022, 42% of adult Muricans are obese:

Nationally, 41.9 percent of adults have obesity.

Black adults had the highest level of adult obesity at 49.9 percent.

Hispanic adults had an obesity rate of 45.6 percent.

White adults had an obesity rate of 41.4 percent.

Asian adults had an obesity rate of 16.1 percent.

Rural parts of the country had higher rates of obesity than did urban and suburban areas.

Obesity rose from 31% of adults in 3 years ago to 42% of adults today (11% rise in 3 years).

Before Trump was President, 25% of adult Muricans were obese (17% rise in obesity since then).

Why? Extreme income inequality and a populace that cannot afford to eat well or to have time to get exercise, and the prevention of the spread of COVID did not happen because it was promoted as a hoax in the US.

knob · 2022-12-02T11:32:44+00:00

*Hispanics also vote for Nazis, idk why

knob