In 2016 the CMS under the Obama administration looked into covering gender reassignment surgery under Medicare, but was unable to find convincing evidence it alleviates gender dysphoria

jim_steak · 2021-08-15T00:52:15+00:00

I think focusing so hard on labels just puts you in a box of whats okay and whats not. If you can help it then try and let some of that go and just focus on being you

It's funny how when it comes to SSA, labels don't matter and if you think they do you're putting people in a box and need to let that go, but when it comes to being trans labels are incredibly important and thinking they don't matter is killing trans people everywhere. These peoples' mental gymnastics would be fascinating if they weren't so homophobic.

jim_steak · 2021-09-17T17:51:01+00:00

But don't straight women also live in a "patriarchal machofeudalist society" (whatever that means)? Why aren't straight women disgusted by dicks as well? It's almost as if lesbians...and straight women...are different somehow...can't put my finger on it lol.

jim_steak · 2022-01-11T05:46:11+00:00

If being sensitive and compassionate and liking femininity is enough to make you a woman, why do transsexuals also need to take hormones and have expensive surgeries?

Also, shout out to all the aggressive lesbians, keep up the great work ladies!

jim_steak · 2022-02-25T05:33:09+00:00

FTMs have ruined the word dude for me at this point, it's just so corny and affected. Like, I know you're not a surfer dude, you're a woman with anxiety who spends all day on reddit, please just talk like a normal person.

jim_steak · 2021-08-01T16:09:47+00:00

It's a textbook example of this community refusing to listen to trans ppl

The only thing I've ever heard trans people say about this is "I'm not saying you should change your attractions, but you should consider where your attractions come from and then work on changing them". Ok, I've considered where my attractions come from, and realized they're natural and innate. Can I be left alone now?

jim_steak · 2021-07-14T22:09:24+00:00

To me the clearest difference between the trans movement and the gay rights movement is the messaging around identity. The gay rights movement encourages people to accept themselves, and is generally devoted to living in a way that's truthful and honest to who you really are. It's about acceptance of oneself and self love, and it's also against the lies straight people told when they pretended gay people didn't exist. In my opinion, honesty and truth are healthier than lies, and so a movement that is pro-honesty is a healthy movement.

On the other hand, the trans movement is all about denying reality and running away from the discomfort and pain caused by gender dysphoria. The message of the movement isn't about self acceptance, but about changing yourself into a new person, then forcing everyone around you to affirm that new identity. Trans people claim that they transition to become their true selves, but anyone who has (oftentimes accidentally) invalidated a trans person's view of themselves knows how fragile this transformation is. That's why they feel the need to censor conversations about trans people in a way that LGB people never do, because even the smallest dissent can break their denial. A movement that requires people to be constantly denying reality is a movement based around sickness rather than health.

jim_steak · 2021-08-31T23:14:55+00:00

I don't feel welcome in women's spaces either. Like I'd be in danger.

Lol, yeah women's spaces are notoriously dangerous places, better stay in men's spaces just to be safe. When I walk by a women's restroom I keep my head down and my hands on my bag, it's scary stuff.

jim_steak · 2021-10-27T18:57:58+00:00

I think the hope is that if every lesbian community is overrun with people virtue signaling about how they would totally have sex with a trans woman and if you don't you're transphobic/evil then young lesbians entering those communities, many of whom already feel shame connected to their sexuality, will be willing to "at least try" sex with a trans woman. They don't care if this is traumatizing for young lesbians because they view lesbians as a porn category, and the more lesbians they get to have sex with them the more "validating" it is.

jim_steak · 2022-04-01T21:26:10+00:00

i feel the EXACT same as you. the worst dysphoria trigger for me is having people reference my dick as a strap-on. it makes me want to vomit. i had a literal FTM partner continuously call it that no matter how many times i explained to him that i am a man and it is my dick/cock.

It's interesting the degree to which these posters' dysphoria seems to be mediated through language rather than physical reality. I would have expected dysphoria to be triggered by things like removing the strap on, or lack of sensation when having sex. Instead, it seems like their dysphoria is centered around other peoples' perceptions of them and their response is to try to tightly control how people are allowed to express themselves around them. It also speaks to the degree to which these posters are removed from reality - for them controlling the language around the strap on makes it into a real dick.

jim_steak · 2022-03-06T22:29:43+00:00

Most of the anecdotal stuff I’ve heard is that most cis gay guys would either be grossed out by my anatomy or be really creepy and hyperfixated on it

You're not into pussy = transphobic bigot

You're into pussy = creepy fetishist

jim_steak · 2021-05-30T17:54:46+00:00

I don't know what alternate reality this person lives in where lesbians are in charge and trans people feel uncomfortable co-opting gay spaces, but I would love to visit!

jim_steak · 2021-05-16T16:00:00+00:00

Totally agree, it's a really sick society that treats getting more people into pornography and prostitution as some kind of goal to fight for. I really can't stand this gross euphemism of "sex work" either, as if people being forced into the most degrading conditions possible is comparable to working an office job or something. No shock either that there's a huge overlap between trans activists and these people - I wonder if there's a connection trans people have with porn sick weirdos?

jim_steak · 2023-03-17T14:44:26+00:00

To every guy who thought I was interested because I'm a trans woman...I've spent my entire life dealing with the hog between my legs, that's one too many already

Umm, this is soo transphobic, not all guys have penises...why are you so interested in a stranger's genitals anyway?? You're dating a person, not their genitals, like...if you have a genital fetish that's fine, but you should recognize that's your hangup not a problem with all masc aligned bodies...I honestly can't with this cis nonsense today

jim_steak · 2022-03-06T22:28:42+00:00

To be honest, everything I've read that's actually from the bill seems pretty reasonable. The sections quoted in the news just say that schools can't teach age inappropriate sexual orientation/gender material and it allows a legal path for parents if schools violate that. It's actually kind of shocking that schools in other states can teach peoples' children whatever they want about sex and gender and there's just no recourse for parents.

jim_steak · 2022-03-20T01:47:25+00:00

I have ridiculously bad bottom dysphoria and don’t want my lower area to be seen/touched at all. I could handle using a prosthetic, but I also don’t want people to see my face or hear my voice because they’re nowhere near passing.

What's the worry? A gay man would LOVE to date a woman who doesn't want to be touched and whose face he's not allowed to see. He can just close his eyes when you walk in the room, it's really more about personality anyway. Oh, you also refuse to speak? No worries, maybe you could bring a friend along who can interpret for you. Anyway, you're definitely ready to hit the gay clubs my guy, the boys are going to love you!

jim_steak · 2022-01-16T20:52:20+00:00

I'm not one of these "Oh if you don't have sex with me you're not a real lesbian" kinda gals, I just wish to be accepted for my choice and who i am in life

"Ok, let's compromise, you'll agree I'm a lesbian, let me into your lives and pretend to consider me a dating option. In return I won't actively try to force you into having sex with me, although I might hassle you for sex and then get aggressive when you turn me down. Also when the more aggressive transbians do try to rape you I'll take their side and call you names for resisting. Deal <3?"

jim_steak · 2022-01-05T06:53:54+00:00

This whole "amab" "afab" thing is so ridiculous. Like, these people abolished gender within their little communities and then quickly realized it made it confusing and impossible to understand anyone's identity, and that people had very different experiences and perspectives based on which sex they are, and so they had to reinvent the concept. If these people really believe that sex is arbitrary and all that matters is your current identity, why discuss sex "assigned" at birth at all?

jim_steak · 2021-08-18T16:30:27+00:00

I think for a lot of these men the point is forcing people to do things they're uncomfortable with. It's the same mentality as a flasher, the appeal is knowing that you've violated a woman's boundaries.

jim_steak · 2022-03-10T01:50:12+00:00

If everyone is bisexual, why has nearly every society throughout history organized itself around a model of exclusively heterosexual relationships? Wouldn't you expect relationships to be about 50/50 same-sex opposite-sex? People will talk about how there's stigma around bisexuality, but if everyone is bisexual why would that exist?

jim_steak · 2021-12-05T03:05:01+00:00

“No trans people” cannot be a preference, because the only characteristic shared by all trans people is transness.

"No redheads" cannot be a preference, because the only characteristic shared by all redheads is redheadedness.

jim_steak · 2021-09-22T17:34:16+00:00

I don't think these people actually have any beliefs, they just think whatever they're told to think. If the media came out tomorrow and said that homophobia is good now these people would be insisting they had always been homophobic by the end of the day. Islam is obviously incompatible with the values these people claim to have, and it's ridiculous to see the same people who get faux outraged over lack of gay representation turn around and say we should listen to radical Islam.

jim_steak · 2021-03-16T22:14:42+00:00

These were all incredibly uncomfortable to read, I just don't understand how you could read through these accounts and come away thinking this is healthy or normal. Whenever I try to talk to people about this kind of thing in real life its incredibly frustrating because they just deny this ever happens, but it's right out there in the open if you just listen to what the proponents of children transitioning actually advocate for. Appalling.

jim_steak · 2022-02-22T23:44:16+00:00

I think this is the best route. I would also recommend not arguing about it at all, if it becomes a topic of debate you lose automatically because you're debating in an environment where your opposition has all the power. I would present it more like your personal boundary than an ideological/political belief, because boundaries are far less negotiable than political beliefs.

jim_steak · 2022-01-03T20:06:03+00:00

Straight men can be, on a base level, turned on by men and vice versa for all combinations. But that doesn't make those men bisexual or gay, because biological instinct aside they'll probably not have any romantic or deep feeling towards men anyways.

Could it be any more obvious that this guy is bisexual? What has happened in the last ten years or so that many bisexuals now believe that everyone is bisexual?

jim_steak · 2021-12-15T19:28:53+00:00

Assuming this is true, where is the mom's self reflection on her role in this? Nowhere in her "solution" for her daughter's gender dysphoria does she try talking to her daughter and understanding what she's going through - instead it's all about control. Nowhere does she consider why her daughter has such a negative relationship with her body, or why she might be suicidal. Why is her happy, loving daughter getting sucked into sexually inappropriate spaces, threatening suicide, and wanting to transition, and more importantly, why doesn't she feel comfortable going to her mom with these issues? The mom assumes her daughter is "authentically feminine", but it doesn't seem like the daughter actually has a choice at all.

I don't think transitioning is a good solution for the daughter's underlying issues, but the mom's reaction seems abusive to me, and I have to wonder where the underlying problems actually originated.

jim_steak · 2022-05-26T02:01:52+00:00

As he stripped, I was shocked. He revealed his vagina. I won’t lie, I handled it poorly. I threw up all over my own bed…literally threw up…

LMAOOO I wonder if that ever happens in the yaoi trans guys love so much

jim_steak · 2021-03-18T18:58:36+00:00

Haha yeah, we're the ones wasting their time, it's definitely not the women dressing up like men and pursuing the one demographic of men who aren't attracted to women who are wasting our time. That would be ridiculous.

jim_steak · 2022-05-03T19:06:14+00:00

Today, I got into a bit of an argument with my mom, who said that my godfather wanted me to pull my pants down and show him my dick. I videotapped that, and sent the video to my fiancé so he could see how transphobic people around me tend to be.

I'm sorry, what? If members of your family are pestering you to show them your genitals, I think you have bigger problems than transphobia

All I had said was, "I have a fiancé and wouldn't show anyone else but him, that sex doesn't matter to me — only brains, and that I'm happy with my small size"

What does the size of the "penis" have to do with anything? Would she show her godfather if it was bigger? Wtf is she talking about?

jim_steak · 2021-06-05T17:24:18+00:00

These stats forgot to factor in the violence of not using a trans person's pronouns. Compared to that, who cares about getting physically attacked or killed? Trans women especially are in danger of going outside and being perceived as greasy, mentally ill men; if the FBI had bothered to count that violence then we would have the proper numbers for the ongoing trans holocaust. It's not my job to educate you, so I will be expecting everyone who reads this to donate to a trans woman's gofundme so she can make herself look like a blow up doll.

jim_steak · 2023-03-14T23:13:17+00:00

It's hard to empathize with the "truscum" crowd because they can't see that these creepy trans tiktokers are just taking their ideology to its logical endpoint. If trans women are women then how is it really acceptable for a lesbian to say she won't date trans women? Why wouldn't she be attracted to any transwomen at all if she's attracted to women? If a lesbian won't have sex with any trans women, isn't she tacitly admitting she sees them as men?

Truscum people seem to think they can set these limits on when reality is suspended and everyone has to lie to support their feelings, and then they're totally shocked when other people aren't following their own internal rules about when that happens. It's just more characteristic trans narcissism

jim_steak · 2021-08-31T21:59:15+00:00

These people are so ridiculous because even they don't believe what they're saying. If you ask them they'll all tell you it's transphobic for gay people to reject trans people. "If you're not interested just say so" That's what we are saying, and that's what's pissing you off.

jim_steak · 2021-07-16T19:15:50+00:00

Have any of these non-binary people considered that the reason people don't like them is because it's tiring to constantly play linguistic games with a narcissist who demands to set the rules for how you think and talk about them? The first thing out of these peoples' mouths is always their gender identity and the rules for interacting with them - I don't buy for a second that this guy is upset when people "misgender" him as male, it gives him a chance to correct them and talk about how special he is.

jim_steak · 2022-08-15T14:02:38+00:00

Love the top comment. We go from delusional

Okay so first things first, you do have a dick. Its small, but it gets hard and looks like a dick and that can still be plenty fun. There are gay guys who are actively into small dicks.

to softly admitting that a big part of the trans obsession with homosexuals has to do with the "ego boost" we provide

I'm sure you want to bag a gay guy specifically, cuz thats a huge ego boost, but hey, bisexual guys are great too, and a lot of them have pretty strong preferences for men, AND many of them prefer to bottom for men. They will have no problem playing with your small dick or taking a strap on.

and she ends with calling me a slur

Most queer male tops worth their salt will have no problem ignoring the front and just playing with the back, since thats what they're generally looking for anyway.

jim_steak · 2022-05-22T23:41:47+00:00

It's just so obvious reading this that the writer is a woman, all of the things she quotes are these rude, direct, male responses - "gross I'm not into that" - which she then follows up with these long, passive aggressive arguments. It's not an argument, the guy is just being rude, if you were a man you would just tell him to go fuck himself and move on.

I feel the same way when I see trans women threatening women online - "see me as a woman, or else" - like, how did you convince your therapist that you really have a woman's soul on the inside?

jim_steak · 2022-02-14T15:13:01+00:00

During a meeting which took place that month, Pipitone asked Beck point-blank to identify his sex. She responded, “You’re male,” to which Pipitone replied by accusing Beck of violence.

I see trans people use this tactic all the time, where they dare you to tell the truth under implicit threat of violence. How would this make any sense if trans people are an oppressed minority who will just collapse like a delicate flower if you misgender them?

jim_steak · 2021-10-09T21:00:16+00:00

When people are invited, there is no need for a hostile takeover.

"If you just surrender immediately, there is no need for a war."

jim_steak · 2021-08-20T16:26:17+00:00

female (noun) a female identifying person

An interesting aspect of trans activism is how they get you to concede a minor point - for example, agreeing to use a trans woman's pronouns - and then push you as far as they can ("OK, you agreed trans women are women, you're attracted to women, have sex with me"). When I thought trans people just wanted to be addressed a certain way and left alone, I always found it strange how they almost seemed to be daring you to state the obvious reality you'd agreed to politely ignore.

At this point, I think the ideology is just designed to be obviously self contradictory. How else could someone write this circular definition of female and not even have a second of doubt? The point is that the movement naturally generates acceptable targets for these people to vent their buried feelings of rage and hurt - the death and rape threats, the mob violence, etc is the point. It's not a coincidence either these people target gay people and women, when it's recently become far less acceptable to publicly attack those people.

On the bright side, I think this movement will inevitably burn itself out because the average person won't be content to constantly walk on eggshells around any narcissist who decides to assume a gender identity. Most peak trans stories just involve interacting with a trans person, which I don't think bodes well for a mass movement.

jim_steak · 2021-10-20T17:51:07+00:00

But the fact remains with this question, this question is triggering to dysphoria and I shouldn’t have to be reminded of all I said about how we are viewed. It can be upsetting.

"I'm schizophrenic, and it's really invalidating when people tell me they can't hear the voices I'm hearing. If you're not willing to pretend to hear what I'm hearing, at least don't talk about it so I don't feel upset??"

jim_steak · 2023-03-23T14:49:08+00:00

Me, burning at the stake: "NOOO! If only more lesbians had had sex with trans women!! This could all have been avoided!"

jim_steak · 2022-01-13T20:14:31+00:00

I feel like this article is being unfair. When it comes to gay men who support trans issues, I don't think very many of them are aware of the levels of harm that trans people are causing in the lesbian community and to women more broadly, which I think is a result of the heavy censorship in gay spaces and the media on that issue, rather than a callous disregard for the issues of women and lesbians. Bindel claims that gay men are "taking the opportunity to keep us (women) in our place", but I think it's far more likely that most gay men just trust that the media, the mental health industry, and the government are full of serious, credible people who wouldn't allow the mutilation of mentally ill people for profit, or would call it out if it were occurring.

Bindel also decries the misogyny in gay culture more broadly, citing terms like "fag hag", gay men using women's pronouns, and drag queens, which is a criticism I've heard from feminists before. I think there's definitely some misogyny in gay culture, but I think a lot of the appropriation of femininity is more about gay men poking fun at themselves and the inherent silliness of being a grown man with the interests and mannerisms of a teenage girl than it is about hating women.

I understand why Bindel is frustrated that her community still supports people who are making lesbians' lives a lot harder, and I can empathize with her on that. But I think her angry denunciation of gay men in general misses the mark, and I also think when you're trying to win people over to your side it helps to be understanding of their perspective, rather than treating them as part of a grand conspiracy that's out to oppress you.

jim_steak · 2021-11-03T19:39:55+00:00

The real question I have is why is the media no longer willing to lie to make trans people look good? All of the mainstream media coverage up to now has either been trans positive - frequently to the point of blatantly lying - or has omitted important info. It seems to me that the level of narrative control it takes to convince people that a mentally ill man is just a type of woman would be very difficult and expensive to maintain in the long term, especially when integrating these men into women's spaces causes so many problems. Between the bathroom rape in Virginia and this article in the UK we're seeing a huge shift in the way the media is willing to cover trans people, and I wonder if the pharmaceutical companies, insurance companies, etc that have been profiting off the trans movement have decided that the risk of continuing this narrative now outweighs the benefit.

If that did happen, and the narrative shifted back to transsexualism being considered a mental illness that needs therapy and pharmaceuticals instead of transition, I'm not sure what the effect would be on the LGBT community. On the one hand, it would be a victory for us, but a large part of the community has totally invested themselves into gender ideology, and I can't imagine transsexuals who have spent tens of thousands of dollars and had their bodies surgically altered are just going to pack up and go home peacefully. What is going to happen when tens of thousands of extremely unstable people realize their friends and therapists have been lying to them and because of that they're now stuck in strange, surgically altered bodies many of them went into debt for?

jim_steak · 2021-08-04T18:12:18+00:00

Hey, I've seen a few of your posts and I think they've started some good discussions on the sub - it's nice to take a break from the trans stuff sometimes. I'm sorry you've been having these difficult feelings around your attraction, but I think a lot of SSA people can relate to what you're saying. I've struggled in the past with feelings of discomfort around my SSA, which isn't exactly the same thing you're talking about but hopefully my experience is helpful. For me, what really helped was being aware of negative/unwanted thoughts, stopping them, and replacing them with positive thoughts. I also spent some time tracing back the origins of my thoughts/feelings and found situations from childhood were at the root of a lot of them. I found working out the logical history of my feelings and then sort of standing up for myself and taking my side against people who had harmed me really helped me feel more comfortable with myself. Hopefully that's helpful, I hope you feel more comfortable with your lack of attraction to men.

jim_steak · 2021-04-11T00:28:07+00:00

It's definitely a tough situation, since homosexuals don't reproduce raising children is basically entirely controlled by heterosexuals. I think the best solution LGB people have is to exist as a normal, respectable part of society so that straight people will finally stop seeing us as terrifying freaks, and will hopefully stop mistreating LGB children. That's a big part of the reason I think we need to drop the T and all the kweer nonsense that's so focused on attention seeking and being as offensive and disgusting as possible. It's so frustrating too because it really felt like we had won the argument with gay marriage and everything, and if we had just managed to be normal and respectful for a few decades I think we could have had permanent positive social change. I guess that was too boring for kweer activists though.

jim_steak · 2021-12-25T16:38:24+00:00

"Queer is an anti-gay slur that means weird or strange, and our field of study has nothing to do with that slur! It's a different meaning of the word!"

"What's queer studies? Well, it's a study of weir- uh people who exist outside of society's norms. So it's about homeless people, lesbians, you know, queers."

jim_steak · 2021-09-15T00:40:31+00:00

I guess I don't really see how being GAMP is different from being bisexual. Bisexuals are attracted to both sexes, as are GAMPs - it just happens that GAMPs have a strong preference for women and only like a specific type of man. The fixation of the fetish seems to be the male body parts on a female body, but that's still an attraction to male body parts. I just don't think a straight man is attracted to men in any context.

jim_steak · 2021-02-21T20:36:22+00:00

I wish these creepy fetishists would take their own advice for once and examine their preferences for gay men and women; of course that might require some self awareness and willingness to change, so I won't hold my breath.

jim_steak · 2021-02-15T16:53:28+00:00

There really is nothing more infuriating than going into what is supposed to be a gay space and seeing homophobic slurs in every other post, and then being told by straight fetishists that those words have been "reclaimed" so we should shut up and stop complaining about their use.

jim_steak · 2022-03-24T01:51:12+00:00

The post got removed, here's what it said

Hi, I couldn’t think of a great title but kind of just what it says. I am tired of seeing the definition of lesbianism being portrayed online as “non-men loving non-men” when that is just. Not what it is. My existence and my sexuality are not defined by men or the lack thereof. I am non binary, and I am attracted to some non binary lesbians, but not all nonbinary or genderqueer people. I am attracted to women. Not “non men” but women. My existence is for women only! Not everyone who is a non man. I am just so sick of men being centered in every discussion. I also want to be clear that by women I mean ALL women, trans women included (obviously). I hate feeling guilty that I’m not attracted to every “non man” gender on the block. Does anyone else feel this way? Why is it bad to be only attracted to women? I feel like I face so much lesbophobia already and changing the definition makes it harder. I am not defined by my lack of attraction to men, I am defined by my attraction to women.

jim_steak · 2021-11-14T23:54:37+00:00

I wonder to what degree some of these trans people have been sexually assaulted, and if that might explain why they've put themselves in a situation where they can seek love and romance without the sexual aspect everyone else is interested in. More severe body dysmorphic disorders like anorexia have really high overlaps with sexual assault, and it might explain some of the weird, dissociated ways trans people describe their own bodies and sex, like how the woman in this piece won't stop talking about her "hole". I'm not an expert on sexual assault reactions, but I've heard it's not uncommon for people to try to make themselves unattractive in some way to ward off future assaults, and I have to wonder when I see people literally removing their genitals if this isn't a more extreme manifestation of that response.

jim_steak · 2021-09-24T00:20:03+00:00

What a weird ad campaign, all of these images seem to be designed to be as repulsive and unappealing as possible - especially the "vaxxer" image with the interconnected tongue. Is it too much to ask that every public space not be plastered with ugly pseudo-pornographic images that use psychological tricks to try and get you to buy products?

jim_steak · 2021-07-24T23:33:00+00:00

"Imagine with me, if you will, that you are a 13-year-old girl who has a penis." "There were women with penises, and you weren’t even lucky enough to be that." "You have a folder full of images of trans women on your computer. You’re engaging with feminizing kinks." "Many or even most of us have our first encounter with transness through pornography."

Hmm this guy has an odd fascination with being a "chick with a dick". I'm sure this is unrelated to the hundreds of hours of "chick with dick" pornography he reports consuming.

jim_steak · 2021-07-14T15:13:58+00:00

The only real issue I have with asexuality (besides the ridiculous claims that asexuals are oppressed) is their claim that questioning of asexuality is harmful. There are a lot of treatable problems that might result in lowered sex drive: hormone imbalances, medications, sexual trauma, stress, etc. and I worry that treating lowered sex drive as an innate condition similar to sexuality could result in many people suffering with problems that are treatable.

jim_steak · 2022-05-26T01:41:11+00:00

I think the basis for the claims about "terf racism" are that terfs promote white standards of womanhood (lmao). Usually I see this broken down into either the typical nonsense about nonbinary Native Americans or something about how if you think a trans woman looks like a man you're playing into the stereotype about black women looking like men, or something? I had literally never heard of this stereotype until I saw trans people talking about it on Twitter, and I honestly think they may have made up a new stereotype to support the racism claim.

jim_steak · 2022-05-10T14:29:10+00:00

Meanwhile, teacher and mum-of-four Moira Deeming has spent the past 18 months trying to clarify through various channels whether gender identity rights overrode those of sex-based rights.

What exactly are "gender identity rights"? Everyone already has the right to identify however they want - I can only assume that "gender identity rights" is the "right" that everyone has to pretend to believe what you say about your gender no matter what they actually think. I don't accept the "right" of mentally ill people to tell me what to think, and I certainly don't accept the government legislating thought crimes. People talk about how repressive China and Russia are, but as far as I'm aware those countries haven't made thinking certain things illegal.

jim_steak · 2021-10-06T04:08:59+00:00

HRT might change some of your sexual preferences, but I don't think it can change your sexuality. I think a lot of the people who claim to have had their sexuality change are just dishonest bisexuals who like the idea of a different label. The one example I know of a trans person who claims their sexuality changed on hormones - Contrapoints - is just a bisexual who likes the idea of being a lesbian.

jim_steak · 2021-08-26T04:25:03+00:00

Saidit's so small it seems like it's just us and the political stuff. I've looked at s/politics and it's not very interesting, there are a lot better dissident discussions going on on other platforms. The average user over there seems pretty homophobic - ironic it's just us and them on the site.

jim_steak · 2021-07-31T03:47:35+00:00

I could be wrong, but to me this seems like a way to weed out difficult people from the workplace. I definitely avoid people with weird pronouns in my personal life, it would make sense for a job to want to avoid bringing in people who are going to throw a temper tantrum if people don't follow the specific rules for interacting with them.

jim_steak · 2021-07-14T15:31:48+00:00

Practically speaking, how do you plan to enforce a gay man only space, especially online? I think a lot of the problems you're outlining with bisexual men in gay spaces are related to bi men identifying as gay, and I think, unfortunately, being more strict about only gay men being allowed in spaces bi men want to enter just incentivizes bi men to lie about their sexuality. Maybe having this conversation with bi men and explaining how lying about their sexuality hurts gay men could be helpful on agb?

jim_steak · 2022-11-17T16:46:07+00:00

I don’t know if I’m really attracted to this guy? Honestly I’m even wondering if I’m even interested in someone with the same genitalia as me? I think I say that out of insecurity and dysphoria...I’ve matched with him on several dating apps and we have good conversations but when the topic of sex came up I kinda…reluctantly continued? I want it??

This girl gagging and wretching as she forces herself to have gay sex "This is great guys...I love being pansexual...trans men are men!"

jim_steak · 2022-05-10T13:49:09+00:00

Sometimes it’s a declarative statement along the lines of "I could never have sex with a trans woman." Sometimes it’s disguised as a compliment: "Your wife must really love you; I don’t know if I’d be able to.”

I love how they clearly only had one example of people saying they don't want to have sex with trans people, and it's a simple declaration of boundaries which makes it really hard to attack, so they had to make up a hypothetical that clearly isn't something anyone has said ever.

jim_steak · 2022-01-06T23:21:31+00:00

I see what you guys mean about this getting attacked, but honestly I think that might be a good thing. If trans people and gay people are publicly fighting and holding protests against each other, it'll make people rethink the idea that the LGBTQ+ community is a monolith. Even if the average gay person will look at this and blame the gay organizers for being exclusionary, I think it's possible some gay people will look at this and wonder why gay people aren't allowed to have our own spaces.

Ultimately, I think if we're going to break from the TQ+ portion of the community and the broader social justice coalition there's going to be a lot of messy infighting no matter what, and the optics of trans people angrily protesting a gay only event are better for us than they are for them.

jim_steak · 2021-09-15T00:22:35+00:00

I don't blame Butler personally, I find her - like many academics - dense and hard to read. I sort of doubt most gender people have actually read her. Honestly, I think the trans movement exists because pharmaceutical companies wanted to make money and perform experimental surgeries, and they funded LGBT organizations to manufacture the justification for that. If Butler didn't exist they would've just used some other line of reasoning.

jim_steak · 2022-10-18T20:24:05+00:00

There's a palpable malice to this grown man talking like a child. These people are literally fascists, that's why they have these big smiles when they say things they know aren't true - they know if you disagree then the mob will attack you, and if you disagree too much you can be kicked off social media, fired from your job, and now in the UK literally arrested. "Trans women are women" is a loyalty pledge to the system because if you're willing to deny the most basic reality then what won't you be willing to believe or do?

jim_steak · 2022-09-15T21:41:57+00:00

The only instance of this being possible is with nonbinary people who are either partially men, multigender in some way or men at different times(genderfluid) or nonbinary men or transmasc nonbinary but again, they're nonbinary- nonbinary never had a singular sexuality or a singular gender experience so there's nuance to consider with complex identities you may not grasp- If you see anything on lesboys or male lesbians it's FOR trans people and that's it.

Oh that clears it up, thanks!

jim_steak · 2022-05-21T01:32:12+00:00

I think it will stop when the social backlash outweighs the profits to pharmaceutical companies, insurance companies, surgeons etc. According to this business insider article, the sex change surgery market alone is a multi-million dollar market that's set to become a billion dollar market in the next few years. The reason there's a "trans rights movement" is because NGOs and media outlets are for-hire social engineering organizations that have been paid to market transgenderism to people.

In terms of what will push it over the edge, I think the trans kids stuff is a pretty big red line for most people, to the point that even the people who are defending it have to simultaneously pretend that it's not happening.

jim_steak · 2022-05-19T20:01:45+00:00

I mean, she's definitely hyperbolic, but I don't necessarily disagree. I'm not sold on the idea that a child doesn't need a mother and a father to develop normally, and I have heard people who were sperm bank or surrogate children say they felt disconnected and strange compared to other people. It would be one thing if the gay people I've met seemed really invested in the idea of raising a child, but many of the gay people who've told me they wanted to have kids seemed to be approaching it almost as part of a checklist of things you "just do" to have a normal life.

I used to think I wanted to have kids, but the more I thought about it I realized that desire was more about wanting to fit in to society than it actually was about wanting kids, at least for me. There are definitely some gay people who are more seriously committed to the idea of having kids, but even then I would still like to see some long term studies to make sure that normal childhood development still happens in those families.

jim_steak · 2022-03-22T00:40:14+00:00

I think it's definitely possible that gay men push other gay men to transition, I don't know how common it is though. There are a lot of gay men who buy into gender ideology, where the dominant narrative is that being trans is like being gay and that by denying it you're harming yourself. Some of those people might be well meaning.

I think there's also a recognition in liberal spaces that you'll never get in trouble for pushing transness or suggesting someone may be trans, which leads to people being more comfortable making that suggestion than they really should be.

jim_steak · 2022-11-17T20:16:53+00:00

I agree, and I think a lot of the common ideas/ways of talking about sex nowadays are really wrapped up in pornography. For example, this drive for everyone to microlabel every aspect of their sexuality; labels don't matter so much in real life but they matter a lot in pornography. It seems to drive a lot of the trans stuff too - a lot of trans men seem to be trying to escape the pornographic role of woman as abuse object and a lot of trans women seem to have an erotic fascination with assuming that role.

jim_steak · 2021-08-25T16:19:25+00:00

Can't wait for a few years from now when denying Marsha Johnson personally started gay rights will be hate speech and will lose you your job.

jim_steak · 2021-04-12T21:14:26+00:00

Lol, gee if only there was a word for "non-men". Funny how absolutely everyone knows what a man is but when it comes to women "it's complicated". I really feel for young lesbians right now, the gay community has managed to stay relatively intact, and I've yet to have to justify my lack of attraction to women to anyone. Can't imagine what dating would be like if most of my dating pool were trans or some kind of gendie.

jim_steak · 2022-12-13T06:52:04+00:00

I don't think it's fair to criticize the gay community for this, because ultimately drag queens are just performers who show up to these events because they are paid to do so. Who's actually organizing and attending the events? They're usually put on by librarians and attended by parents with their kids, so I would have to guess most of the people who are actually responsible for the events are straight women who like gay culture and drag. The hysteria around these events is totally overplayed as well - I agree kids shouldn't be at a drag show but that's not what these are.

The events might be bad PR, but there really isn't any such thing as the LGB community to manage things like that. In most major cities the community is just centered around bars and nightclubs, and there certainly isn't anyone in charge of managing PR or telling drag queens they shouldn't go to events they're being paid to do. In my opinion, if these events are inappropriate it comes back to the parents who are bringing their kids into the environment. If Drag Queen Story Hour is about sexualizing children and grooming them to be molested by pedophiles, what is going on with the people who are bringing their kids to the event?

jim_steak · 2021-12-15T21:47:38+00:00

The article is recommending parenting techniques to rescue kids from transgenderism, so you have to reflect on her parenting to respond to the article. The things she's advocating for are based on controlling her daughter's behavior rather than trying to understand what's causing the behavior, and she doesn't seem very empathetic to her daughter's point of view (at one point she literally compares her to a drug addict).

I think what the daughter saw on social media and in school affected how she expressed her feelings, but I think the underlying feelings of depression, discomfort with her body, and suicidality came from someplace else.

jim_steak · 2021-11-10T00:31:37+00:00

Well, we can't do anything about the supply chain crisis, or the millions of illegal immigrants pouring across the border, or the crime wave, or high inflation, or record high drug overdoses...but at least now if you're stargender the government will force your employer and coworkers to use whatever ridiculous pronouns you can think of, so it's not all bad.

jim_steak · 2021-04-16T15:20:32+00:00

A lot of the times too these kids are being forced by other kids and the social activists in their online niches to post this kind of information under the guise of harm reduction. The same social pressure used against Sarah Paulson to try and force her to add pronouns to her twitter bio is being used against these teenagers as well, and they are a lot less equipped than she was to deal with their entire social group turning against them. It really is insidious, damaging behavior and the fact that this is now considered normal and acceptable by so many people is really worrisome.

jim_steak · 2021-03-25T14:35:26+00:00

Thanks, this was helpful! It's nice to know other people are dealing with the same thing. I tend to try the playing dumb angle as well but my issue is I tend to be too blunt about my opinion which I think can end up alienating people who don't agree with me already.

jim_steak · 2022-12-13T19:21:37+00:00

I agree that it's a bad look, I think I'm quick to defend the drag queens because I see a lot of right wing content online that is calling these events "gay child grooming" and I think that's ridiculous. It's the same thing as with the trans kid stuff - that gets called LGBT indoctrination but the vast majority of parents transitioning their kids are straight couples, just as the vast majority of school teachers talking about gender identity are straight people. It all loops back into trans issues too - gay people get blamed for these mentally ill (mostly) straight men and women who are forcing themselves on everyone in our name.

I would love to see better PR for the gay community but first I think there actually needs to be some sort of community outside of just nightlife. It's hard because so many of the activist spaces for LGB people have been captured by gender activists who set the tone for the whole community, and I imagine many gay people wouldn't want to join some kind of gay only organization for fear of being attacked by those elements.

jim_steak · 2021-03-19T17:39:56+00:00

It seems like most people in this thread agree these organizations are actively anti-LGB and homophobic, which I honestly agree with. I wonder sometimes if the point of these organizations isn't actually to foster homophobia, since so many of them seem dead set on being as obnoxious and authoritarian as possible in the name of the "LGBT community". A lot of times when I tell people I'm gay I can see them start tiptoeing around me a bit because they assume all gay people are part of this insane, authoritarian gender clique. I worry in a few years there will be a backlash to these LGBT organizations, and given how incessantly obnoxious and abrasive these orgs are, I wonder if that backlash was the plan from the start.

jim_steak · 2021-03-03T19:26:43+00:00

People who grow up in religious households are forced from a young age to obey a confusing, contradictory set of rules that forces them over and over to do things they don't want to do, but that they have to do to get love and support from their parents and community. For example, women who are forced to see themselves as sexualized and subservient beings to men, or young boys who go through the trauma of unnecessary circumcision. They are unable to articulate their anger and fear about these aspects of their life to the people who are supposed to support them, because those are the same people who are harming them. The very act of questioning these teachings is sinful and wrong - so instead they push their anger and fear into their unconscious. Gay people are one of many safe outlets for these buried feelings, which is why homophobic sentiment is so irrational: it's actually the buried feelings of rage these people hold against their parents. Homophobic peoples' fear of gay people is their own displaced fear of the trauma that was done to them, which is why so many homophobic arguments (indoctrination of children, child molestation, forcing beliefs onto others) are things that religious institutions are actually doing every day.

jim_steak · 2021-07-20T18:57:30+00:00

This is so horrible and bizarre, this woman's boyfriend has mutilated his own genitals and is trying to get her to go down on the infected surgical wound (which smells so bad she can't stand to be at his FACE level with it out), and she's worried about how to ease HIS insecurities about it? It is so insane to me that this movement which only became mainstream in the last five years has so thoroughly brainwashed people that this girl needs to add caveats to her post to tiptoe around the obvious reality of the situation - that vaginas are not supposed to smell like poop-filled, rotting, necrotic surgical wounds. So creepy too that this woman's mother and gay cousin "couldn't give her any answers". Genuinely hope this is fake.

jim_steak