[Question] Are the phrases "butch identity" and "femme identity" bullshit made up by the TQ+ movement? And are there gay male equivalents

candiedDagon · 2021-03-23T04:13:13+00:00

I don’t think of butch as rejecting femininity, it’s just another kind of femininity.

Gender ideology has tried to absorb butch and femme and that’s why there’s all those stupid, overly political, “queer” definitions floating around.

I would say butch and femme are descriptive of style and not to be to taken so seriously as to become identities. Some lesbians just need a way to describe their dating preference. Butch seeking femme, femme seeking femme, etc.

If people link butch to filling the man role and femme to fulfilling the woman role that’s just weird and sexist, and I think that’s what is implied by defining butch as masculine. The implication is that women who aren’t wearing the ‘proper dressings’ aren’t being womanly. Gender ideology benefits from othering women who don’t dress a certain way.

candiedDagon · 2021-03-03T14:39:14+00:00

You’re missing the main point of my argument which that there is still delusion involved. Nothing about her experience as a woman impersonating a man is actually necessary for preventing suicide. Suicide is something one does to oneself, not something that is enforced by the perceptions of other people. Hence there is still delusion and covering the everything up with woke language doesn’t change that. Mental illness explains why a person might believe they can only prevent themself from killing themself by taking on a false identity, but purposefully taking on a false identity is dishonest and mental illness cannot justify dishonesty, only explain why a person is deluded to act in a such a way.

candiedDagon · 2021-03-02T19:45:10+00:00

So you say your friend has no delusion over biological sex but somehow SHE is "living as a trans man" as opposed to just plain living as a woman. That's a distinction that can only be made if biological sex can be disregarded. This is not coherent. What is really going on here? Does your friend really think of herself as a woman or not? What separates the biological reality from whatever other trans man reality she claims to experience? There's no real sense here. Your friend is in a place where her beliefs are inconsistent. She's placing herself into an imaginary category to cope with her other problems. It is a still a form of delusion.

candiedDagon · 2021-03-02T16:01:03+00:00

I’m a butch who’s into femmes, but I wouldn’t even have a friend who buys into gender ideology. Just dropped my straight friend of five years cause she said male and female aren’t real and is “cisgender” now. That kind of thinking caused me trauma in my early 20s and I just don’t want to be around it at all. These people care more about fitting into gender roles than they do about being real and honest. If the woman doesn’t see themselves as a real woman, has no pride in being a woman, they probably don’t see you as real woman or anything to be proud of either. My struggle to accept myself and be proud of the woman I am is extremely important to me and I would only want to surround myself with people who get it. People who believe sex is mutable aren’t even going to able to conceptualize it, they lost the vocabulary when they decided biology itself could be wrong.

candiedDagon · 2021-03-01T21:01:04+00:00

I love velvet chronicle so much <3

candiedDagon · 2021-02-09T18:43:19+00:00

It’s sad. It’s very out of control behavior to have this sort of surgery. Their fetish is extreme as having some kind of severe drug addiction that impairs judgement. And the amount of money that surgery would cost!

candiedDagon · 2021-02-02T18:28:45+00:00

On the day that the announcement happened that trans are allowed in the US military they must’ve been celebrating because a disproportionate amount of these people with periods showed up at my work. And I was bringing out an order to someone called Bryce who had a beard and when they spoke in was the highest chirpiest voice. The mismatch was so incredibly startling I had to stop myself from swearing out loud. I’m just a normal butch lesbian and I can’t deal with it.

candiedDagon · 2021-02-02T18:00:52+00:00

I’m don’t feel good about the dead facial expression. Looks like the person has been crying...

candiedDagon · 2021-01-30T16:23:57+00:00

I hate how they show off the scars with a smile. Sickening

candiedDagon · 2021-01-27T05:08:53+00:00

Grocery store sushi, vegan pineapple pizza from Store bought dough ball, vegan tacos. I was starving

candiedDagon · 2021-01-05T21:29:40+00:00

this was from the larpsandtherealgirl tumblr blog which no longer exists. They claimed to be rudefems and were critical of radfems I think

candiedDagon · 2020-12-21T22:41:24+00:00

Awesome :) go JK!!

candiedDagon · 2020-12-12T16:12:36+00:00

During what decade was tomboy used for girls? I’m a millennial and I know I had heard the word but didn’t personally know any self-referred tomboys. Maybe I didn’t do enough sports.

candiedDagon · 2020-12-11T14:06:34+00:00

Clown fetish but make it political

candiedDagon · 2020-12-04T17:01:33+00:00

Yeah at least some of that stuff is recyclable.

candiedDagon · 2020-12-03T14:48:04+00:00

Yup I see it. When she suddenly blurted out something about how there was something she didn’t want to talk about or mention. Uh...

candiedDagon · 2020-12-02T18:10:26+00:00

Gosh why doesn’t Page get out of the public eye if she is so uncomfortable and seems to feel so bad? So weird

candiedDagon · 2020-12-01T20:52:26+00:00

actors be acting. its just performative social media bs...

candiedDagon · 2020-11-06T18:35:46+00:00

If you don’t want to label it explicit could you at least put “tmi” in the title?

candiedDagon · 2020-10-17T16:41:52+00:00

Yes it’s really gross 🤢. Like picture of Dorian Gray but every-time they validate a trans as a lesbian another disembodied piece of genitalia appears in the portrait. Pretty soon all that’s left is...

candiedDagon · 2020-10-17T14:06:52+00:00

Worst. I’m too angry to articulate...

candiedDagon · 2020-10-17T14:01:24+00:00

Butch
Chapstick I guess. The way they describe these types is just not very attractive. You either get an outfit preference or a single personality trait.

candiedDagon · 2020-10-17T13:02:11+00:00

Couldn’t watch it.

candiedDagon · 2020-09-28T17:31:03+00:00

“The Vvitch” is my fave. Anyone know anything with a similar feel? Artsy psychological horror I guess. “Hereditary” was way too much violence and shock factor for me.

candiedDagon · 2020-09-28T02:42:25+00:00

I’d like one, thanks in advance

candiedDagon · 2020-09-27T16:05:10+00:00

So is oral only very intimate to her when when she is one doing it? ...What? Makes no sense.

candiedDagon · 2020-09-27T15:53:36+00:00

I see it as theoretical thought experiments like in plato’s republic.

candiedDagon · 2020-09-24T15:15:42+00:00

So they say that gender identity has nothing to do with gender expression and also that clothes can affirm gender. Hmm. So sometimes gender works this way and sometimes it works this way and they can keep moving the goalposts

candiedDagon · 2020-09-24T01:56:13+00:00

Good to have diversity of opinions. If you want to develop a good argument you need to have to know how to respond to the counter arguments. Lizard has supplied a number of counter arguments.

candiedDagon · 2020-09-21T17:03:34+00:00

The Apple app store took down the tumblr app because it didn’t have the appropriate age restrictions. I think that was the main thing.

candiedDagon · 2020-09-19T16:05:58+00:00

I’ve been afraid of clowns since childhood

candiedDagon · 2020-09-17T04:34:01+00:00

“Persistentlyfem” on tumblr has a blog about this dynamic. It does seemed linked to gender identity and trauma. To me it seems like two people absorbing themselves into roles so they can be codependent together. Their identity is the relationship. Like how a hetero woman might build her identity around being the perfect wife based on whatever cultural ideals are floating around.

candiedDagon · 2020-09-17T01:25:40+00:00

Chill in the air, DARKNESS, feeling comfortable. Rain, cloudiness, naked trees. The death of seasonal allergies. And I just got a new flannel and hoodie. Halloween candles, Halloween. Creepy costumes. Ahhhh~

candiedDagon · 2020-09-16T18:08:12+00:00

I suggest a nun, a Jewish rabbi, and a Baptist minister playing black metal.

candiedDagon · 2020-09-15T22:49:59+00:00

Pls, thanks

candiedDagon · 2020-09-05T11:50:47+00:00

Matcha with soy milk

candiedDagon · 2020-09-02T15:30:46+00:00

Thanks, needed this comic. I related to her concept of the ‘loneliness box’. Haven’t seen much media centered around loneliness.

candiedDagon · 2020-09-02T13:37:06+00:00

If it were possible for me to be asexual I wouldn’t have had to put most of my teenager allowance in the church offering plate to try and get rid of the sinner guilt. ;.;

candiedDagon · 2020-08-28T19:51:43+00:00

Very cursed. Wondering about how and why one rationalizes claiming conflicting identities all at once.

candiedDagon · 2020-08-27T13:30:31+00:00

Ohmygod the metaphor in comments section about the lamp with a dimmer switch representing the gender spectrum outside the binary of on and off... Obviously even if the lamp is dim it is still on! Sigh...

candiedDagon · 2020-08-26T02:52:18+00:00

I like the angsty romance and I like the ocean sounds and the fossils and the 19th century

candiedDagon · 2020-08-26T02:43:56+00:00

Cephalopods will inherit the earth

candiedDagon · 2020-08-16T06:32:51+00:00

But trans men aren’t just reducing their dating pool to homosexuals. They are reducing it to opposite gender homosexuals. This would be the equivalent of you reducing your dating pool to gay men, not lesbians. So an even smaller smaller dating pool of gay men that are convinced for whatever reason into dating a female.

candiedDagon · 2020-08-16T02:11:59+00:00

I saw some article about how the actresses are growing out their body hair for the second season. Yay for historical accuracy. Now I am even hoping Suranne will have a bit of a light mustache.

candiedDagon · 2020-08-15T21:44:37+00:00

I think they’re meant to be stretch marks.

candiedDagon · 2020-08-13T14:59:06+00:00

Soup

candiedDagon · 2020-08-11T13:42:43+00:00

Ooh I love that stuff too. Just got into it since quarantine.

candiedDagon · 2020-08-10T15:14:12+00:00

Noodle stir fry. I typically use garlic, fresh carrots and frozen soy beans. Either boil rice noodles and add them at the end or add instant noodles straight to the pan at the beginning with a bit of water. Sauce includes gochujang(Korean red pepper paste), small amount of vinegar and sugar, some boullion, and soy sauce. Other good add ins are mushrooms, bok choy, cubed tofu, onion, green onion, seaweed snacks, sesame oil, sriracha, and sesame seeds.

candiedDagon · 2020-08-09T23:20:49+00:00

Realized my attraction to women was serious at 19. And then accepted my lack of attraction to men at 22.

candiedDagon · 2020-08-09T23:06:21+00:00

The location is a green, forested, mountainous and cold place. Fog drifts in regularly. The is old and strange with some sort of historical significance.

candiedDagon · 2020-08-09T22:59:24+00:00

Kindness, eccentricities, and appreciation for nature

candiedDagon · 2020-08-08T06:43:07+00:00

Try to figure out where your assumptions about inadequacy as a lesbian come from. Is it religion, or societal expectations? What experiences have you had that have shaped your perceptions? Why should liking boys be better? And then beyond that, where do your ideas about what makes a good person come from? What kind of person would you like to be?

Mostly it takes time and you have to grow into yourself. Maybe you have other self esteem issues separate from sexuality you can work on too. Work on building yourself up as a whole person, physically and mentally.

I dunno how good my advice is, lol...

candiedDagon · 2020-08-08T00:14:51+00:00

Hell yeah

candiedDagon · 2020-08-07T14:08:30+00:00

That’s my personal perception of masculine and feminine, too, as a butch lesbian. I consider myself to be very feminine. And then other people see me as trying to leave womanhood or some shit and worry over my pronouns.

candiedDagon · 2020-08-07T02:04:48+00:00

I’m interested in all this. I’m a Compsci student. I was waffling on whether or not to focus on cyber security, and now see the importance of protecting free speech on the internet and have a renewed interest.

candiedDagon · 2020-08-02T02:20:00+00:00

I made potstickers and thought about downloading a video game but was too tired. Going out in hot weather drained my energy...

candiedDagon · 2020-07-29T12:55:46+00:00

I dunno the whole thing sounds fake. All those strange responses... weird AF

candiedDagon · 2020-07-18T18:34:28+00:00

Awesome, I wrote a long paper in uni on gothic vampire novels and their historical/cultural context. Some of the topics I covered were historical cases where corpses were buried alive, real life vampire superstitions, and scientific challenges to religion causing increasing anxiety about death... Such a fun paper to research! What was your thesis about?

candiedDagon · 2020-07-16T19:32:19+00:00

I'd love to read some gothic horror or spooky mystery novel that just happens to have lesbians in it.

candiedDagon · 2020-07-16T18:08:03+00:00

I was raised Missouri Synod Lutheran and read evangelical bible studies every day when I was in middle school. Those bible studies encouraged a lot of guilt over sins and it made my teenage years difficult. I became an atheist when I was 20. Since then I have dabbled with witchcraft and thought the rituals were beautiful but do not believe in it.

candiedDagon