Although I'm heterosexual, I feel kinda sad whenever my bf brings up him being trans or flip flopping about it...(ranty I guess)

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2022-04-02T00:43:37+00:00

Aaaaand another lesbian space gone it seems.

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2022-06-22T03:55:21+00:00

I miss LGBdroptheT too....on a side note, any reason that sub is private on saidit? I can only assume you guys want it to be an exclusive space for LGB?

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2021-07-27T19:02:41+00:00

I didn't know you guys were an aesthetic. No wonder everyone's trying to hop on the lgbt train these days.

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2020-07-16T20:09:11+00:00

That's the thing. I'm fairly certain it is a fetish of some sort. But I also think it's a self esteem issue. We've talked about this before and I would ask why he felt the way he did and it usually goes to "I like getting attention as a girl. No one gives me compliments or notices me as a guy and it makes me feel undesirable". I'm not really offended by his conclusions about not getting attention as a man; I love him to bits and show it to him every time I see him. It may be foolish, but I don't want to give up on him or I feel like there's no option for that. I want him to be happy and I want him to be happy with himself.

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2022-06-22T20:27:39+00:00

Yeah that Schreiber guy is massively creepy. It's almost like he's parading his son around like something to look at??

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2021-07-27T16:34:32+00:00

Lmao, where else?

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2023-10-27T00:14:31+00:00

It's kinda telling how unwell this girl is when one of her other posts is about being obsessed with being raped.....I think she has some SEVERE unresolved issues and being trans is definitely just a cover up to something deeper

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2022-06-27T21:38:42+00:00

Ah, why am I not surprised it's that sub

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2022-01-29T22:35:42+00:00

Well yeah cuz he's being a bad boyfriend >:( he deserves to be cheated on

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2020-07-16T20:00:09+00:00

Thanks. I honestly didn't think this would be the situation I am in years ago when I first started dating him. I kinda think about "what if I knew before then" would I still even try to pursue him and I honestly don't really know. It's scary to think about leaving him and even he is petrified about the idea since he genuinely feels I'm the center of his life; the only person that reaffirms his masculinity and male identity. I more than ever want him to get therapy for this, because I'm starting to believe this isn't a gender identity issue, it's a self esteem issue.

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2022-01-29T23:12:54+00:00

It's funny how he calls himself a gay man when looking at his profile he states that he's "a gay man with hetero tendencies". He sounds like a closet bi.

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2022-12-04T05:20:58+00:00

Bro, that's ALL THEY USE TO PUSH THIS SHIT ONTO KIDS LMAO. I swear to God, every transkid book is just the same sexist bullshit trying to pass it off as....not that. How so grown-ass adults not see this garbage?

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2020-07-19T08:29:53+00:00

This is...eerily similar. Almost on the nose in the first half. I do fear that if he were to get therapy, it would only be a therapist who would try to push the gender dysphoria in him ( not that I want them to lie to him that he doesn't have it if he does). I want it to be genuine, not feeding him what could be lies or misdiagnosing him which would lead him to a path where it'd be scary difficult to come back from.

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2020-07-16T20:36:33+00:00

I feel you've read me too well haha. It's true, I have been so accommodating to others. I've always told him that I wanted him to be happy with or without me and throwing my happiness away for others to be happy. I'm a people pleaser and he is too. I feel this situation is partly my fault, because I never really thought about myself and well, I hesitate to add this in but it is important, he knows I have a thing for trans women hentai and he's asked me why it's so different if he dressed up and still had his penis. I can say for myself that I can separate porn/fantasy from reality so naturally, I'm very much not attracted to actual trans women ( I honestly don't watch live action porn much at all) and with that, I feel I may have given him some "affirmation" that this relationship with him being gender fluid could work out and he gets upset/confused as to why I'm not attracted to him that way. I still love him and truly want what's best for him, so I'd want him to get therapy on this because I think he just has a kink for it plus self esteem issues on being desirable as a man. I've got some serious thinking to do and you're probably right that I need a break. Thanks for the reply.

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2020-07-16T20:18:48+00:00

Oh we definitely ran that scenario by when we were talking about me not being attracted to him as a woman and he rightfully understands. It's that weird childish mentality of "I want my cake and eat it too" vs the adult "you can't have everything" thinking that's at odds with him (and me too). I truly don't (and hope) think he wants to transition. He's told me multiple times that he enjoys being "my man" and wants to be that for me; I'm the only one who makes him feel masculine for once and I find that very telling that he needs therapy. I truly love him, he's amazing and smart and kind and everything I could've wanted in a guy. Yes, the 7 years makes this relationship feel permanent and intimidating to just leave it all behind. I get nervous and guilty for bringing his gender identity up again because it always ends with him being upset and I get it. He's trying to find himself and it's hard. But I think I need to have a talk with him again sometime and discuss our future with this. Thanks for replying.

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2020-07-16T20:09:33+00:00

Thanks, I'll give it a look!

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2022-05-31T18:12:29+00:00

Oh my God, it's happening! Let's goooo!

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2020-10-29T09:06:29+00:00

Kinda how I feel whenever I go through r/Yaoi. It doesn't appear much, but there were a few times where I've seen trans yaoi there :/ I just want to see natural men with dicks....

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2020-07-16T20:44:23+00:00

I feel it's the latter honestly. And self esteem. I just want him to get some therapy more than anything.

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2020-07-16T20:24:53+00:00

I really really think it's a self esteem issue and perhaps a bit of a kink. I ran the autogynephilic thing by him and he reacted neutral to it. I'm not sure if it offended him or he was actually considering it. As for the egg crowd, I do hope he hasn't been lurking around them, especially online. Not that I don't want him to be trans and that I hate them, I just think it isn't the solution to something deeper within him. But I suppose our friends and his time in San Francisco during college aren't opposing his gender either. Which speaking of, does make me nervous and trapped with all this because of our friends and how their views on T are, plus I'm certain a few of em could be under TRA by definition and how they act about pronouns and JK Rowling. I'll give the video a look, so thank you for the link.

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2022-12-10T18:54:12+00:00

This is why I try to use male and female when using biology because at least that can't be redefined. Though it does frustrate me when I see online applications ask for "gender" and in the drop down menu they have listed "male" and "female". At this point, these people will rewrite anything so you don't have a "gotcha".

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2022-12-04T04:56:04+00:00

Omg, I have the same experience though I wouldn't say I was super close to her? She's an old friend from highschool and I could very much relate to her in mannerisms and her interests (loves anime and videogames and was very much the opposite of a girly girl). But apparently she too switch to NB which I find disheartening, because I know she's just a serious tomboy though I don't really know if she has any sexual attraction (I'm pretty sure she hinted at being bi). In a terrible way, I'm kinda glad I moved states so I won't encounter any of my old highschool anime friends because I know for sure they all knee-deep in this gender/sexuality crap. Apparently being into anime and art just does that to you :/ I just know it would be pretty tense if I did see her again as I would try very hard to not cause problems but also not use her new pronouns or name; I don't know if she has one, but I'm pretty sure she does. I honestly won't even be surprised if she started identifying as a man.

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2022-06-27T21:35:08+00:00

From criminals to people with cancer/diabetes....what a fucking jump, lmao

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2022-05-31T21:21:21+00:00

Gotta move that goalpost

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2022-05-19T05:20:53+00:00

Jesus this is depressing....no one ever cares about the family/friends/lovers of pre-trans people and the grief they have to go through silently all the while sacrificing their integrity and emotions to lift the spirit of the trans relative...

Makes me wonder how these people don't see that their actions are selfish and impact people they have a relationship with. Live your life how you want to, no qualms about that; but understand that it's not going to be easy for those around you who knew your previous self.

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2021-06-03T03:44:23+00:00

Had a similar conversation with my parents and younger sister. After they brought up that my tia told my mom that her daughter/my cousin came out as genderfluid, I basically had to give them the rundown of what's been going on and why I strongly don't believe she's "genderfluid". They were all bewildered with what's been going on since, well, none of this stuff is ever brought to light really.

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2020-07-19T08:27:13+00:00

Yeah, my father told me something similar. I'm always afraid of looking like a jerk and I always risk my wants/needs for someone elses. And you both are right; it's okay for me to not be attracted to certain things. It just feels unacceptable in this day and age nowadays.

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2022-06-29T08:04:52+00:00

I hope this is a sign that things are gonna start turning around :/

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2022-06-29T08:00:19+00:00

Something something DARVO

buhnahnuhbr3ad · 2022-06-23T00:34:03+00:00

Don't you bring the Japanese into this!!

buhnahnuhbr3ad