Someone messed up somewhere and created an alternate timeline/reality/earth or something because ....surely, we can't be this dumb?

WanderingElephant · 2022-05-21T09:53:55+00:00

If your logic were true we would indeed be having sex with ducks by now too (remember that one?). Fact is, a small bunch of mainly privileged white males, reacted to being told no more by progressive society by appropriating the experience of victimisation of the LGB, and the T, and were supported in this by the only people dumb enough to believe it - hormone addled teenagers, and, some other mainly privileged white men.

WanderingElephant · 2022-05-11T19:42:12+00:00

I mean ..at one time baking your period blood into bread and then burning it to ash would reveal who God wanted you to shag ....so yeah......Failure to critically evaluate your ancestor's beliefs will lead to you desperately searching for sexy faces in bloody bread I guess.

WanderingElephant · 2021-03-30T11:06:52+00:00

Hugs from an AHP in the UK. Here we got a 1% pay rise and a cheaply made pin badge that says "Covid Hero" (I thought we were against Covid but whatever!🤣). Vaccine roll out has kicked into gear across the population and good progress is being made. Lockdown is starting to ease soon and we are being told everything should return to complete normality after June. I eagerly await my first professional haircut in over a year..#straightlines #shaping #willyouacceptthisawesomepinbadgeasbarter

WanderingElephant · 2020-11-25T00:37:24+00:00

Women. And being free to sit in comfortable positions, so underrated in Lesbianing.

WanderingElephant · 2020-11-25T00:12:30+00:00

1; 1a ; 1b: They're useful as shorthand when used between Ls but I find they're used more to stereotype by non-Ls. 2: never had gaydar, honestly just go by nail length and taste in music! 3; 3a; 3b: Yes but I dont stick to one school of feminism. Find being an L and not being a Feminist inexplicable???!! 4: Domestic violence, economic inequality and oxytocin 5; 5a; 5b : No- I feel we have always been the "less glamorous" poor relation. Recognise and promote just how badass L warriors have been, and are, for the team! Seriously, they started the riots, nursed the dying, organised, orated and right this minute...are self-funding repeated successful court cases to protect sex and sexual orientation based rights. Fricken homosexual warrior queens have always been out there - recognise and support them. 6 : TRAs are a diverse bunch. Some genuine and thoughtful, some.......not so much. 6a: Lesbians are female homosexuals. Please stop colonising shared, lived experiences you cannot understand because you have not and will not live them. Not being mean, it's just not a transbian's lived reality. Also, sexual attraction is more complicated than a genital fixation, human brains identify sex not gender. Again, just reality. What happened to respecting diversity? We are not the same, not saying we shouldn't be equal. 7: Discrimination is online and in many large organisation's inclusivity policies. Seems a whole lot of blokes still seem very comfortable telling Ls who they should sleep with. In the UK, the premier, and very powerful, LGBT+ advocacy group has someone with a full on beard as the L rep...which means the L has no rep. But saying this just means I'm not nice enough to be a woman or an L apparently (oh no! I might be a baked bean!) 8. Queer is a slur, Dyke is a slur if you're not one, a G, or a B sleeping with an L. Terf sounds like all the other names I get called when I disagree with a man. Everything else is gravy. 9. People die over flags. I dont get it. 10. Lesbians hate men. Seriously, we're all too busy saving cats for all that hate, Gary!. 10a: I really do fancy Gillian Anderson.

WanderingElephant · 2020-11-09T20:31:00+00:00

Girl, I know you might be thinking this is you but trust me ..this has been standard lesbian dating protocol since time began. We are a sexual minority so there are less of us about and lesbianism has always attracted tourists, voyeurs, refugees and women who think a threesome will make thier boyfriends ...something (I actually have no idea what the thought process behind this is! :-)). Expect to have to weed a lot of these out. Like a lot lot. You might end up doing more weeding then dating. Lesbian dating means doing a lot of gardening! But have faith. Focus on what you have to offer in a relationship, maintain your boundaries and eventually the statistics will turn in your favour. I've been dating since I was 18 but only met my soulmate in my late (late late) 30s! Also, if you haven't already, try investing in the more expensive dating apps / premium subscriptions. Women there tend to be older and more serious in terms of monogamy. Rightly or wrongly, they will also tend to assume you are serious too and therefore trustworthy re: your age/appearance.

WanderingElephant · 2020-09-29T15:48:48+00:00

You need to let her know that her emotional response, whilst painful and uncomfortable, is entirely appropriate given these events. These emotions will fade and change with time. Humans are very good at one thing: adapting to adversity. Things may change in her life, including girlfriends, but change facilitates reflection, learning and adaption. Thats what she should aim for in the future. Right now it's ok to be sad, confused, distraught, shocked or angry - these emotions are our humanity and serve to eventually force us to move forward, beyond thier cause.

WanderingElephant · 2020-09-17T18:18:48+00:00

Nope - all this craziness directed at Lesbians has occurred in one form or another for centuries just in different forms and from different directions. Lesbians are always being tested, and despite all the ignorance (and violence), some Lesbians always choose to thrive as Lesbians. We may always be outnumbered and sometimes we might have to lay low for a while but twas always thus and (probably) always thus shall be. At least Mother Nature appreciates us, she keeps on churning us out after all - and this will last longer than any societal moral objection (gender related or otherwise). So don't worry - same pile of steaming compost, different day, exactly the same results.

WanderingElephant · 2020-08-19T19:36:07+00:00

Absolutely! Not complaining but I think there is an advantage to letters - they endure and are cherished and held over and over again. They're mini time capsules of lives lived, the thoughts and experiences of your lover at a particular moment in time (however mundane). I regret not falling back on letters sooner than this.

WanderingElephant · 2020-08-06T22:16:33+00:00

In my opinion figuring out your sexuality is always confusing. Especially if you are a sexual minority. Growing up, you are surrounded by powerful societal norms and messages about who you should be and what you should feel like. These are powerful forces. When I was a teenager, straight sex and straight couples were everywhere, exclusively.These days its straight sex and edgy pseudo-sexual labels / experimentation. Honestly, most young lesbians will try and be like everyone else first, that's the human in us (and me at that age). That's why gold star lesbians were a thing - they were rare. Once they figure out they can't just choose to be something else, I suspect you will know a lot more lesbians IRL.

I don't think Lesbians are afraid to come out - they just aren't heard when they have something to say and are frequently barred from discussions (see Reddit). It's always been like this though- lots of mainstream feminist groups in the past used to dissuade out-and-proud lesbians from having any role in thier organisations (even though feminism arguably applies most to us!!!) because they were worried this would reinforce people's perceptions of feminists as "man-haters" (an old but very entrenched stereotype of lesbians). Feminists could have overcome this - many chose to exclude / silence our voices instead. So if even feminists won't listen to you , or worse, actively remove you from important conversations (this is happening again today btw) where do you go? You hang out with your own tribe, in small private groups IRL and in corners of the internet - where you can speak freely and be taken seriously (and organise).

Lesbians have also always been really uncool - we tend to focus on personal growth and family and careers and education and political change and mortgages etc. - which apparently makes us really boring. Occasionally, a super out-there lesbian artist will get on TV for making art out of hair clippings taken from geriatric inmates on death row, or something, but for the most part we're too normal to be an exciting Club to join as a first choice.

WanderingElephant · 2020-08-04T21:46:32+00:00

This is an amazing article! Thank you so much!

WanderingElephant · 2020-08-01T22:41:45+00:00

Sorry, but LGB. Everything else relates to medical conditions; preference or social politics. These are issues the LGB have had to persistently justify their DISTINCTION FROM for centuries. I will always have empathy for elements of the TQ+ but I would suggest our priorities, experiences and issues are very different based on these distinctions.

WanderingElephant · 2020-07-24T23:36:21+00:00

Flags are symbols so they can have a purpose, and I suppose some power, in certain circumstances (rallies,protests etc). I've never owned or used one. Back in the day, the fight for equality was based on highlighting our similarities with straight people rather than highlighting our only difference. Plus being LGB is only one small factor in multiple influencers on my individual identity. So, I guess for me it's been a political choice not to display/own a flag.

WanderingElephant · 2020-07-24T21:43:34+00:00

I'm learning so much about Icons I would normally never have been exposed to. This makes me more than a little sad. However, it has also reminded me of the diverse awesomeness of what truly is a global community. That's a very good feeling to have again.

WanderingElephant · 2020-07-24T19:36:26+00:00

I did not know this! There are so many hidden gems out here!

WanderingElephant · 2020-07-24T19:25:02+00:00

Homosexuality and Bisexuality are different. However, Lesbians, Bisexual women and even Straight women do interact, they do influence, and are influenced by each other because they are all women. Lesbians, being women, and attracted only to women, understand this better than anyone else. That's my view anyway. Plus my my deal with Marlene is probably more of an affair rather than a relationship ;-)

WanderingElephant · 2020-07-24T18:55:33+00:00

Just remembered another one I heard recently:

"Lespot": That one Lesbian that has, is, and always will organise order into lesbian social events.

WanderingElephant · 2020-07-24T18:31:54+00:00

I had totally forgotten about Martina Navratilova! Shocking really, because she really should be near the top of list in terms of cultural impact.

WanderingElephant · 2020-07-24T18:26:10+00:00

Madonna definitely looked like she'd kissed a woman before. Britney......not so much! 😆

WanderingElephant · 2020-07-24T18:11:41+00:00

One of mine was Madonna. She is also straight but she was the first women I saw owning female sexuality and she got a lot of vitriol for it back in the day. She showed me that female sexuality was powerful and a part of who I am as a woman; to never appologise for it, and, to express it fully -whatever the consequences, whatever "they" think. As being a Lesbian is really reliant on female sexuality, I'm gonna try and nominate her as an honourable mention, on that basis :-)

WanderingElephant · 2020-07-24T17:45:15+00:00

Yes, you are quite right, we need to agree the criteria! I think the complications of history suggest broad admittance into the Lesbian Icon Club? I would suggest we could generally include women who love women? What do people think? This is, sadly, the first time I have heard of Gladis Bentley and she sounds amazing ?! Off to do some reading on her!!

WanderingElephant