Citibank wants to reach out and touch your children

TurkishCoffee · 2023-07-26T14:06:41+00:00

Glad I dont need to move banks because Citi was always shit and I didn't but holy hell. Trans kids and random adults allowed but not parents. They couldn't be anymore blatant. How many citi execs do you think were friends of Epstein?

TurkishCoffee · 2023-07-26T14:03:32+00:00

Found in the replies of the other thread linked. The absolute fuckery of these assholes.

TurkishCoffee · 2023-07-26T13:59:04+00:00

The fucking comments in that post are so revealing. I wish I could post a screenshot here in the replies but there's another one who hasn't told his fiancee and is waiting till they start a family to drop a nuke on her life so he can have kids he doesn't raise. Fucking narcissistic shitheads.

I wish more people knew their partners reddit names and literally just looked at what they publicly post. No stalking or snooping needed.

TurkishCoffee · 2022-07-19T23:15:55+00:00

Oh welp my bad. i know there are two. one is a total sellout org. maybe not this one.

TurkishCoffee · 2022-07-19T01:54:34+00:00

as said above youre not wrong, but not for this. they sold out but they were never down with racists.

TurkishCoffee · 2022-07-19T01:54:04+00:00

They sold the fuck out a while back. But not over this. They swear abortion is a ritual because bodily autonomy and supported vaccine mandates. (not the vaccines, the mandates).

Then again I suppose I should have seen that one coming. satanists being massive hypocritical asshats ..who couldda thunk?

TurkishCoffee · 2022-07-19T01:52:43+00:00

Man. I'm glad i saw this here and havent been on other social media today. the REEEEing can be heard from space i'm sure.

TurkishCoffee · 2022-07-19T00:05:58+00:00

You can. The rate shown would be more meaningful if the other tab of raw numbers was shown. The fact kenya and somalia show up in rates, but not unique offenders seems to lend towards small numbers of people possibly. (ie easy for a couple people to commit a handful of crimes each and skew the rates interestingly

TurkishCoffee · 2022-07-18T23:59:15+00:00

Idk about middle aged. 45 isn't much older than 38 really. That said, it was more tongue-in-cheek intended than not about how the internet, and reddit, often view that demographic.

Imo you're absolutely right about marriage. but just my opinion.

TurkishCoffee · 2022-07-18T17:33:21+00:00

This is r/that happened karma farming for almost sure.

The odds that the sister "doesn't care" most of the time, other than for a niece she rarely sees dressing up as a nephew for her wedding day? Yeah right. The kids aren't even in the wedding, and the odds that a "usually whatever" person suddenly cares about what name a table at a wedding has and whether a guest is wearing a suit or a dress? Not terribly likely tbh.

Oh and it's a poor single father of three who lost the wife when the kids were toddlers, in case you didn't know who to feel sorry for? Oh and ALSO this karen is 38 which is a little old to get married because we totally need to know that she's a middle aged woman so you can feel guilt free in hating her for a one sided story.

And the entire wedding guest list clapped for alberta einstein on the way out.

I've been IN and helped with so many weddings at this point it's a rare day in hell the bridge or groom has any ability/attention span/patience left to deal with anything that ISN'T dead central to the event, much less if it's a "formal and well organized" wedding as this one is.

more likely - sister gave no fucks and put the other name on the card not really thinking about it without half this drama and dad decided to make a scene and she was like whatever then go.

TurkishCoffee · 2022-07-08T17:19:00+00:00

I think they may be onto something. As a lot of subcultures that are "outsider" but dont have a reason to have an insulation layer so to speak, have become very very woke.

Pagan circles, for instance, are incredibly woke in often contradictory ways. LGB became LGBTQIAA whatever the fuck. TTRPG got woke. moves were made in other hobbies but it seemed to cause splits/splinters in some of them and in others it just died out entirely. Some of that seems to fall along lines of was it woman-dominated (they'd bend) or male dominated (they'd tell you fuck off), but that's a trend not a rule.

I'm not sure how much it's the original outcasts getting a taste of power though. a lot of the "older" members of hobbies quietly stepped back or went their own ways. the old guard got moved out for a lot of late teens, early 20 wokesters, so i guess that's gen Z? (I'm elder millenial and my peers definitely split among being woke, vs just exiting.) I suspect a little of it is that, but a lot of it is the usual kids who would have otherwise been neither nerdy nor popular walking in and realizing they can assume control. At least in TTRPG a lot of them have no idea the history of the thing they've taken over or some of the richness they've discarded. In paganism they have no idea it's not a trend to wear the right symbols and look cool and that people actually used to take "witch" as a part of a serious spiritual and religious path (and of course there were always nutters. but that's true of all things). The discussions that used to happen in those circles have died becuase "cultural appropriation"..which is fine if it's the right culture apparently. It's a load of postmodern gobbledygook.

On the other hand, i've noticed subcultures who had a reason to gate keep to begin with, seem to be faring better. Ie groups of people with hobbies or beliefs that were, and still are, snubbed by the mainstream/pop culture and have always been wary of letting just any body in seem to have managed to avoid the "woke" infiltration taking over.

Makes me a big believer in gatekeeping to be honest.

TurkishCoffee · 2022-07-08T03:09:52+00:00

TTRPG shit went woke years ago, most of the big names and the smaller ones who work in the industry are insufferably woke, and all the cons went woke awhile ago.

Trust me, there's more men in dresses, antifa wannabe rioters, and cancel culture karens in TTRPG right now than almost anywhere.

As usual, back in the day you found your nerd crew and ran your games the way you wanted. Because you didn't wanna be bullied. 30 years later, you find your ned crew and run your games the way you want and orcs can be evil without being racist, but just shut up about it and dont let the bullies find out.

TurkishCoffee · 2022-07-04T01:00:08+00:00

Omg. A racebaiter hired to do nothing but berate white people just in woke speak, has a history of berating white people not in woke speak.

shocking. Couldn't possibly have seen that coming..

TurkishCoffee · 2022-07-04T00:55:39+00:00

I'm not sure i'm shocked. more like, slightly surprised. The wind is changing, and smart organizations have noticed which way it's starting to go.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-11-17T19:29:33+00:00

It shouldn't. Really. I am critical of any clothing being labeled as "gendered". If men or boys want to wear a tutu, that's 100% ok with me. They're still men and boys. Manhood is no more defined by a dress, than womanhood is. It's why MtF individuals cannot be a woman, no matter how much makeup, clothing, or wigs they buy. I am not less of a woman, no matter how little makeup, or dresses I wear.

Going backwards and saying "lets keep these stupid rules about what clothing is and isn't manly and womanly" buys us nothing in this fight. It'll bite us in the long run.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-10-01T15:52:46+00:00

You and me both. I'm seriously considering using the fact I can open carry a weapon where i live (concealed is another story and there's issues with that where i live). When i am not armed, i book it faster. I still book it when armed (i've no desire to tangle unless forced). There's nothing validating about this shit.

Then again, i know i'm equally as likely to be jumped and hurt by some offended gender special on a rampage as I am some random "cis" man on the street. Anyone willing to yell slurs at random people regardless of why - they're both dangers to the rest of society as far as I'm concerned.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-10-01T15:47:44+00:00

Oh, a lot of them hate their wives. I have stories.

Most of them will paint their current wife as the most abusive, terrible. horrible human being in the planet if she does not support enthusiastically every thing they want and every kink, every change with no demands for herself.

I've watched them turn on wives and call them leeches for not having a job, when it was the wife who gave up 4-5 jobs in a row to move for the husband's career- and destroying her own. but that sacrifice doesn't count because it doesn't fit the TiM narrative.

It's to the point if anyone you know has a husband considering becoming transgender, tell them get the lawyer and get it fast. I promise you the husband has one laying in wait to pounce the unsuspecting wife and try to bleed her dry.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-10-01T15:46:20+00:00

People who get killed in the act of self defense get no opportunity to re-offend. No need for a list then is there?

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-15T12:48:58+00:00

a comment thread

That's pretty fucking hilarious. The insistence that this cannot be happening and it's JUST that redditor...yeah sure. carry on. my IRL partner knows i visit some more "terfy" subs and finally i told him what i think. we're mostly in alignment (tehre's real trans people who know how to behave themselves, and there's the wokesters i wont tolerate. as long as i'm not an asshole to the former, my partner doesn't care...and i'm not inclined to be an asshole if you're just trying to live your life)

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-15T12:39:41+00:00

Oh i have a dehlongi espresso machine, but i'd love to own a coffee shop and a simonelli class machine. the dehlongi does just fine for me being the only coffee drinker in the house.

And yes! my boyfriend bought me a vietnamese coffee maker as a surprise and we made that one day and vietnamese egg coffee another. Didn't have a hand mixer so chucked a whisk into the cheaper of the two drills and had at (it works great). I like both, but to be utterly truthful prefer vietnamese with some milk and sugar. :)

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-14T21:05:50+00:00

Thank you! :) I'm a coffee lover so. r/coffee and some hobby forums are still relevant to me. But i'll launch at the "i'm going to fix TiA" posters who show up there sometimes too for shits. I'm not actually familiar with turkish tea i'll have to look that up , but i have made coffee almost every way i know of (haven't tried the dalgona thing) and turkish is up there as excellent. Kurdish is too. And espresso with a machine i cannot afford but got to take a class on. ahh. if i was rich....i'd own a coffee shop post-covid. but..anyhow.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-14T18:21:34+00:00

i think of all the reddit subs, that was the easiest and first to peak outside the old r/ Gender Critical and maybe some of the lesbian subs (wouldnt know on the last one. not a lesbian, wasn't my space so didn't tread where it would be kinda silly for me to go).

TiA has been..really on the trans topics lately and they get some troll TRAs who pretty much get shut down and hard. it's fun to watch. tbh.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-14T18:17:22+00:00

Holy shirtballs. The true off my chest post has comment threads massively upvoted that I'm shocked the mods and the against hate subs crew haven't gotten banned.

Shit like the LGBT community is toxic in not letting people have sexual preferences (and OP is straight - solidly) and calling them out on their hypocrisy. HOLY SHIT. I tangled on another reddit sub about trans women in spaces they dont belong and other than the one TRA i was arguing with, others were like "uh, no, turkishcoffee has a point...."

If reddit is peaking, thank fucking god and i hope it continues to the point we get some backlash about the shit that that site has become.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-14T00:52:19+00:00

Back in the before times, when people were less crazy (women were women and men were men....). that's not even remotely what kink shaming meant. (And it shouldnt, but i realize it now is used that way and its nonsense).

Kink shaming meant leaving what two consenting adults. did, in their own bedroom. in private, was their business. and if shared in a space that asked to know about that business, you didn't get to bitch and moan or complain about what other people did.

Now it's used as boundary pushing which is all sorts of complete assininse nonsense.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-14T00:49:41+00:00

Sad. but i believe it.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-13T15:39:48+00:00

This is what i dont understand. why are doctors and biologists on board with sex as a social construct?

I'm definitely not trusting an ob/gyn who can't tell the difference between born male and born female people...

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-12T18:44:05+00:00

There you go with the men are more physically dangerous or severe bit again though. It's as if you think women haven't learned how to wield weapons or tools and aren't smart or deranged enough depending on the situation to reach for them. I think it's nonsense, and absurd. and your lack of ability to see that women can be violent crazed deranged abusers because of "patriarchy" is..well. nevermind i have nothing more to say to you because my lived experience trumps your nonsense theory.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-10T15:55:32+00:00

What the heck does this have to do with being gender critical? aside from frankly imo being wrong. My abuser in this life was female, and I assure you, she was every bit as dangerous as a deranged male. Women aren't "less violent" in the sense of any given individual. Taken as aggregate statistics, sure, but, taken as aggregate statistics we're also less often engineers and we see that as a problem. And neither reflect on the capacity of any given person.

Frankly, i dont think you contributed anything here other than "women aren't capable of being violent abusers so it doesnt count", which is a load of nonsense.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-10T15:52:39+00:00

you know your friend better than I do. i know if any of the people i know spouted such nonsense, and then I brought it up, it'd just get stonewalled and met with absolute insistence its not the same and now i'm just a racist they wont listen to.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-10T03:11:08+00:00

I'll confess i couldn't make myself read that all the way through, but i don't think your friend understands what the phrase "bimodal distribution" means as a mathematical term in the freaking slightest.

Chromosomal sex is bimodal to the point of damn near being binary. Biological sex, excluding how one identifies or feels, is bimodal less extremely so than chromosomal but still pretty damn bimodal. THe percentages of people who do not solidly fall into easily recognized categories of male/female in sum total, are small. extant. but small.

Sexism speaking bimodally? Someone saw a big word they want to use. Actually someone likes to use a lot of woke words. And if blackness is like transness....y'know i'm not even gonna go there because we all know it's not the same thing but damned if they don't open up that rats nest of race isn't well defined either so why are transracial individuals wrong? they're a tiny number too. I'm sure they care about that (i wouldn't use that argument, it'll get you nowhere and come off as being hurtful, but they're being stupid).

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-06T02:59:42+00:00

this

ugh. so i ran across that subreddit the other day. i'm pagan and trying to y'know, maybe find more of a community. Read about 30 seconds into that sub and was like "...well. can't read for a minute without someone talking about trans something....nope".

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-06T02:54:01+00:00

I think it doesn't have much to do with not having kids. A lot of child free and infertile women (i'm the latter), are not particularly thrilled with the dehumanizing language of "child bearers" (no, we're women), or "uterus havers" (most of us do, but, there's a word for this, it's...woman..).

Now, the privilege part? You might be onto something there. 95%+ of trans supporting females I know are solidly middle class, and white. There are some outliers (mostly in class, a few in race). Some are childless, but I think it's largely because they can't afford to have children and still be middle class. The ones who do have children can afford to have a parent stay at home, often. To give you an idea.

(btw, i dont care why people choose not to have kids. not wanting to change your lifestyle? legit. i'm just noting a trend here)

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-03T22:06:18+00:00

So, for me, regardless of what the other users says, for the first..little bit of onset- they are similar. but both tend to start with a dull generalized ache for me. Then gets worse.

Once it gets worse they are completely different sensations, but the first warning twinges I get are at least for me, confusable with each other. So there's a brief period of "oh god. oh god. which thing is about to happen..." Time gives me the answer, very clearly so.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-02T23:43:47+00:00

I wasn't trying to imply that there's no confusing period cramps for something else. Mine are bad but I still sometimes question "is this a cyst, or is this the start of another kidney stone? goddamnit, how are those things so confuseable at the start?"

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-02T23:40:46+00:00

Yes, i'd not seen the page name before or since but that's it! It's so disturbing!!

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-02T21:12:43+00:00

I dont think that's misogynistic just for wanting children, or not wanting children. I cannot have them, and it's something I learned to readily mention early-ish in the dating process. No kids. Neither can have, nor want. At least one man graciously took the answer, and did not want another date. No harm, no foul in my book. I think it's something to agree on before becoming a serious couple- so that nobody feels like they have to sacrifice what they want.

Not all dads just want the woman to do it all, i mean, there's plenty of good dads out there. I was raised by one. They can't biologically carry the child but that's not exactly misogyny either. It's just reality.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-02T00:56:31+00:00

In general? just less lesbians in my area than straight guys. Which is kind of a given. If you mean why less by age - idk. I just don't have a lot of 20-somethings in my current social circles? I've dated a man 11 years my senior and age wasn't any of our issues. I don't wanna be a creep on younger men, or women, but if someone 10 years younger was interested and I was single, I'd probably give it a go. It's not a hard and fast "must be my age". It's just "mostly know my age and older for no good reason"

Same kinda applies to the first relation? That could really easily be a local thing in my area, or just coincidence of what I've seen. I dont really know that many lesbians and just..haven't spent a ton of time in spaces I'd meet more (not for any good reason, really. other than not knowing those spaces).

But LOL, maybe i should embrace cougar town if i'm single again and that'll be that. I like that outlook!

TurkishCoffee · 2020-09-01T19:04:26+00:00

I was gonna say, as a bi woman. who didn't figure it out till 30 for sure, but I have been face to pussy and confirmed that fact for myself....

I've only had men in exclusive long term partnerships. The dating pool of women who want a woman in a long term partnership is...smaller than the het/bi man pool put together. So, of this bi/lesbian woman pool, remove (in my case) all potential partners for whom it's one night stands, or poly (poly is fine. been in those kind of relationships and it wasn't what I was looking for that's not my point here). Now remove all of the lesbians who only want another lesbian (again, not saying this is wrong) or especially a gold star lesbian, or a butch woman (i'm not). Oh, and then any woman who doesn't want to be a first female long term relationship even though i've been with women in bed. most of them dont want to deal with that later in life.

It was hard enough to find a het relationship dating wise for me (i'm not very pretty. i have a career as an engineer. and a temper) , nevermind from a substantially smaller dating pool. I suspect for many bi women, at least then ones i've known, it's similar. They're my age, and divorced or never married a man, and our long term relationship dating pool is smaller to start with. So, we wind up with men.

If my current relationship doesn't work out i might go seeking a woman intentionally, but i pretty much expect to fail and not find another relationship after that point. I'm closer to 40 than 30 now, so...the pool is even smaller.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-08-23T03:58:29+00:00

Curiosity got the better of me too. There were one or two that were like "...that's a little odd, but, that looks mostly what I expect those parts to look like" and a lot of "wtf is the deal with that" and a couple were nightmare fuel. And yeah, i saw that one too. Holy crap. I can't even ..i didn't even try to figure out how you arrived at that configuration of anatomy. I could have died a happy woman not seeing that.

Well, that definitely puts to bed definitively in my book the notion that any of these people are fooling anyone who is well versed in female anatomy. (Which I didn't buy but they sure do like to peddle)

TurkishCoffee · 2020-08-19T14:00:31+00:00

That's the odd part. There's some really bizarre delusion going on. I completely will agree, that clothes on, or even top-off, a transwoman might pass for cis. Sometimes. Not always. but it's possible. There are certainly transwomen who transitioned early in life and put enough effort in that I cannot easily from a photo identify them. So sure.

But there are TONS of trans women and TRAs who insist that once the pants come off, even a gyn can't tell! which is absurd. An ob/gyn isn't going to notice you lack a cervix? or that you have lots of surgical scars down there? come off it! Also that the average person "cant" tell either. I really have my doubts about that. (But i have no intentions of getting into bed with a transwoman ever, even if my current exclusive relationship ends, to find out first hand).

TurkishCoffee · 2020-08-19T03:18:03+00:00

PCOS has other horomonal issues than just high testosterone. I have it. and i've long been upset that a lot of things are covered for transwomen and nobody cares what PCOS does to female bodies. At all. God this is so disgusting on reddit's part.

I'm only on there for a couple subs that will likely get banned and some niche hobby stuff, but i've noticed that the hobby subs seem to just sort of "ignore" the transactivism that comes through because, not that many TRAs actually pick up hobbies to post about. I wonder how long till those subs get banned anyhow for some reason or another. Someone posts something they consider transphobic I'm sure...

TurkishCoffee · 2020-08-19T02:53:16+00:00

I mean, I think gender identity is mostly bullshit at this point. I think that "lady brain" in a man's body is also a bullshit explanation. I think there are some people who actually do have real honest-to-bob gender dysphoria. I think that there are a lot of assholes who live in fantasyland who don't.

I think anyone who is that dysphoric, it's really up to them what makes that better. If it's transitioning and surgery and hormones? Y'know, as long as everybody is an adult, they've got every right to do to their body whatever they want. I don't care. I'll call you the name, and pronouns you wish to be called - but that's a default setting in my world.

I will not cater to absolute crazy assholish behavior and the sheer narcissistic psycho behavior that a lot of them display. I will not stop being who I am for their comfort. Women do not need to cater to their every whim, and eliminate all gendered language ever to appease them. Get over it.

Largely- dont fucking wear your ass as a hat and we can all get along. Once you start wearing your ass as a hat, trampling over spaces you don't belong (not all women's non-public spaces are, or need to be trans inclusive), threatening violence, or insisting that anybody like your girldick? They can go jump off a cliff with all the other jerks in this world. Not because they're trans, but because they're horrible awful abusive violent people. If they're not? Then, whatever.

The ratio of decent to not decent is pretty skewed so i'm leery, but, there do exist reasonable non asshole transgender people and I have no probem being their friend.

I think the trend to be nonbinary queer when realistically you're cisgendered straight or bi woman, is just a way to opt in via virtue signaling. and it's kind of gross, but, again, i'll deal with whatever pronouns you want. I think people confuse gender-stereotype-conformity with any sort of actual identity and it's deeply harmful.

I'm not a radfem. You could call me GC. But i approach it from a largely libertarian angle which isn't very compatible with most radfem stuff as best as I can tell.

They'll call me a terf and I dont give a fuck.

But i am an old school 90s "girls can do anything" kinda bitch with a chainsaw, a workshop (i'm bad at wood working but i do try sometimes), and work as an engineer. I'm still a woman. Anyone who argues otherwise can get bent.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-08-10T23:43:21+00:00

http://archive.is/7L8Rn

TurkishCoffee · 2020-08-09T04:39:33+00:00

That's the worst part about this to me. People never believe that even if a group is systematically oppressed, there are gonna be some reaaaaal narcissistic psychopaths that DO exist (i mean really, any slice of the population large enough and that statement will be true, no matter how you do the slicing...other than specifically "not narcissistic assholes" as a slice..). And those people are not above using any and all cards, tricks, and lies to get what they want. Which of course backfires spectacularly on oppressed groups as a whole, but they don't care.

Women, Black people. Gay people. Trans people. Hippies. Witches. Whatever, find enough of them (for any value of "them") and sooner or later you're gonna find a complete whackjob cluster b personality.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-08-09T01:50:02+00:00

...bi doesn't mean all, and your definitions leave out enough people - there's a reason pansexual used to mean something. Not all of us want to date trans identified people (or all expression/sex combinations).

I'm attracted to masculinity on the male sex ,and femininity on the female sex. turns out both matter. And yes, that means I also wouldn't find a butch lesbian attractive for romance purposes, nor a metrosexual or flamboyant straight or bisexual man.

This by no means makes a butch lesbian, flamboyant bi or straight man, or trans person less valid or less "attractive" in an objective sense. it doesn't check the boxes for me and i'm not gonna be sorry it doesn't.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-08-07T18:30:16+00:00

as an infertile cis women, I'm fucking torqued when they spout this shit. It's complete shit. They aren't infertile and they will NEVER know what that means unless they ALREADY were unable to have children BEFORE they became trans. It's not the same fucking thing. They dont care about their kids either though so idk why the fuck they wanna carry a child anyhow.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-08-07T18:13:07+00:00

So, he was fired for a lot of reasons - frankly good ones. My point was, the backlash of him and his stupidity, made talking about biological differences - which aren't related to ones ability to do tech - in the context of tech impossible. I'm not saying he shouldn't have been fired.

The "wanting to go off about lady-brain makes us incapable" part was exactly what i was referring to. He took the concept of differences, and used it in terrible untrue ways. The backlash, then was to ban all mention of differences.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-08-07T05:01:37+00:00

A transwoman will never have a natural vagina, labia, clitoris, and will not with current (or forseeable future) medical technology get a fake cervix, uterus, or ovaries - those are all you gotta developmentally lack the SRY gene (CAIS wont even get you the right internal organs, so. anyhow - so, X, XX, XXX, without SRY crossover. usually XX but anyhow..assuming some other normal biological/sexual development steps as well)

TurkishCoffee · 2020-08-07T04:58:18+00:00

Nope, that's actually a thing. So, estrogen can cause the development of breast tissue in either sex. This is not the same as being so fat you have something kinda like boobs, but like, actual C cups on a skinny transwoman can be a result of hormones (might be surgery. but can be hormones. legitimately).

But this is because both males, and females, have breasts in humans. Like, the actual size/shape of them is different but the anatomy is largely there. Theoretically (and very theoretically I dont think anyone has proven this) you could get a male to lactate (at least, according to a biologist I was speaking to and it wasn't about trans issues at all) but it would be a really far from natural state. That part of sexual development is hormonally controlled and doesn't require different anatomy.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-08-07T04:44:15+00:00

Cyber security is neat. I never got too heavy into security but, i always wanted to. Never was sure back in the day of too many ways to learn things without also getting myself into trouble...I'm more of a security-aware developer (and it's shocking how many devs dont give the first thought to obvious security flaws. nevermind the subtle ones. Yikes). It's a really interesting (and rumor has it although I can't confirm really well paid) part of the field.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-08-07T04:43:04+00:00

So, Dev here, many years. and more than one degree.

GC Women? not that i know of. Tech is super left and super woke in some of the worst of ways (look, I'm classical liberal/left libertarian, I'm not a giant fan of authority figures, fanatics, or restricting free speech or rights of the "wrong" people because it goes bad places). Women in development at least, ie programming/comp sci, devops. IT side of it (the other aspects of tech I would know less), are NOT real common. The numbers have been dropping for years. And the only way we get space is to do it under the most progressive of terms -which means trans inclusive. There's also an unusually high rate of transwomen in this field, who often started male, and they are the sort prone to the worst sort of dramatical hissy fit tantrums if they don't get their way.
I resonate with it, but you're treading on dangerous ground in tech. So, James Damore was an asshole of a man, who got things a lot wrong. but he got one thing right- there are biological differences between men, and women. While he wanted to go off that lady-brain keeps us from being developers, the backlash was worse - and it wasn't just me that noticed. Any notion that there are sex-based biological differences in men and women, and that might impact our day to day lives or experiences getting into tech, got canned hard. Lest you be like James Damore. That lawsuit got settled too because Google also pretty much shot themselves in the foot internally with some of their "diversity" (not the real sort, the sort where you mock people you dont like and dimwittedly put it in a corporate system that can be reviewed and later subpoenaed by the courts).

between the extreme postmodern progressive tendencies, and the absolutism that there can't be any difference in men and women without either some asswipe turning it against women into sexism or everyone else refusing to have a nuanced and thus pretending it doesn't exist, leads to a very anti-GC environment.

In short, I don't think we can mobilize anything to protect women in tech, or digital spaces, or having sex based annnyyyyything until society at large realizes how regressive and insane the whole thing is. Tech is going to be the hardest place to do a damn thing because of those factors, and how few of us there are.

Not to be mean, but a lot of women left the field for others they enjoy more (no offense, really. it just happens a lot), leave to go become mothers (again. this is fine, but it happens more often), or never entered the field to start with. There aren't enough of us, there truly aren't, to get a dedicated GC woman space even if we wanted. Half the time we're lucky to get a dedicated trans-woman friendly "woman" space as long as we team up with marketing, sales, or other non technical roles at "tech" companies. (I confess, only at once company have i enjoyed those meetings and outings, and usually skip them these days. they also rarely are more than an interesting social club because the roles are so different between the different parts of the company).

Sorry to be terribly negative about this, but, tech is not going to be the place to launch GC movements and spaces from. I think tech women would join non-tech centered spaces that are GC. Honestly though, GC isn't..GC isn't required as an ideology for a tech-focused space. We all tend to tunnel vision a little too much. It'd just be nice for there to be less sexism if your usernames are female or less brogrammer behavior when females are trying to learn in a male dominated space- I've found it's less the corporations and companies and more the programming "community" and open source spaces. GC wont get us that directly, either (i mean, i'm not saying it wont benefit us in general, but it's not going to get us what we need from tech the most for women). I'm seriously considering trying to figure out how all of my usernames read "female" and trying to hide my gender online completely on a new github/gitter account. I think things will go a lot better if I do - while retaining my actual identity of course in my day job and on my professional profiles. Which you better believe, are apolitical as possible and not a shred of GC statement in them.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-08-04T16:21:03+00:00

what's fucking wild, most of the "non binary" "queer" women i know, aren't even butch! I'm not butch, i'm just not suuuuuper girly. I like power tools. I am currently wearing a skirt because it's comfy and i'm honestly ..truthfully rather physically unattractive so i just don't bother with the rest of the makeup mess most of the time.

But most of the non binary queer females i know are more girly, more stereotypically attractive, and dress far more feminine than I do. Flowers and makeup EVERYWHERE. Which is 100% okay, but I really don't get how the "non binary" label applies. They have stereotypically female hobbies, and are in het relationships that are now called "queer" despite being nothing of the sort (Seriously. They're straight or bi females, in long term relationships with straight or bi males. It's real simple. They'd be straight-passing if they didn't loudly proclaim to be queer non binary every other second). A handful are more androgynous in their dress and have the stereotypical half shaved funky color dye job that's become synonymous with the label. Again, i dont care what they dress or do, but yeah. most of them are girly girls. and i'm just sitting here with my power tools and chain saw and also female hobbies going..the fuck is wrong with you lot?

TurkishCoffee · 2020-08-04T16:11:06+00:00

You made it through the whole thing? it sounded like the most uneducated shit i've read. i stopped at 42 chromosome combinations because i went "....And here's where somebody does not understand genetics past 2nd grade level then heard some shit".

I"m not even sure there are 42 viable combinations of XY. (i could be wrong. maybe). But most of them that are not XY or XX are disorders. Not fucking "special genders". (sorry but not sorry. they do have medical downsides and often require treatment. CAIS being perhaps one of the simpler and most overabused examples TRAs take but Kleinfelters etc are not exactly choices, nor are they "genders" nor are they "new sexes". Christ. I mean XXX is still female and not particularly a giant pain in a lot of people's lives, but they're still female.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-08-04T01:14:23+00:00

This has almost gotta be a photoshop with the artwork. i'd be shocked if it was actually the artist behind assigned male...

TurkishCoffee · 2020-07-31T15:53:04+00:00

As another Bi woman,

Oh, believe you me, the whole "preferences are transphobic" thing ruffles my feathers. they're not. I'm attracted to what i'm attracted to. Both sexes, but not all versions thereof. I will fucking raise hell for anyone who tries to force themselves on me or in my bed, or onto anyone else! Rape is rape is rape is rape is rape I dont care your "woke" justifications.

It makes me so mad, and I'm like "..fuck this would be worse if I was a lesbian wouldn't it?"

God fucking help me if I was lesbian or straight and someone was like "BUT NO YOU HAVE TO BE ATTRACTED TO THIS THING YOU ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO AT ALL BECAUSE EVERYONE IS A LITTLE BI". It's such a perversion of one specific theory of attraction. FFS.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-07-28T00:29:28+00:00

I have to say, the line "Don't use AAVE if you're white " Sounds a whole lot like "White people speak proper English, not that" The former being "woke" and the latter being something a white supremacist would say.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-07-28T00:26:27+00:00

Jo, as an utter protest vote. No, i dont agree with her ideologically 100%, but FUCK i cannot stand trump. but i cant bring myself to vote for biden. The guy is clearly a DNC tool who i'm sorry. he has dementia. He really does. The DNC has also decided to hardnose on issues that I just can't compromise on anymore. The republicans wont defend any of my damn rights and the freaking democrats want to take them away and NEITHER will implement anything remotely resembling real change.

I held my nose and voted for clinton and the absolute insanity is the DNC learned nothing. Sanders at least I could be like "i can't stand some of his views but i'm pretty sure he means well and some of his views are okay". Biden, fuck, he's just gonna be a puppet for whoever.

Given RGB i might change my mind. Maybe. To biden. but it makes me want to vomit to think about it. Frankly I want both Biden and Trump to fall over dead of natural causes before november and get a do over with people who are mentally coherent (neither are) and with any luck, not sexual assault creeps (both are).

TurkishCoffee · 2020-07-26T01:21:30+00:00

The cognitive dissonance and absolute lack of understanding that if you threaten death and violence to people, they're not going to go NEAR you just to challenge the f!ing crazy! Anyone with any sense of self preservation or self defense training knows you don't go begging for trouble. you stay the hell away from it.

Yeah of course noone came up. stood next to probably someone twice their size and strength who has already said they'll rape and kill people and said "let me say the thing you want to rape and kill people for saying".

Shocking.

TurkishCoffee · 2020-07-25T03:15:32+00:00

I've long lurked in GC subs and other places on Reddit before the ban. I have to keep my mouth shut in most places on most accounts, I live in a very liberal city and work in an industry full of TiMs (it's quite strange). But the other day was ..a new peak for me and enough to get me to post here. I tend to get into unrelated arguments with TiMs because they act aggressive and have to be right (honestly worse than most cis men I know. by a LOT), but then play the victim card and I won't bend to that and tend to ram logic down people's throats. I'm stubborn. It's why I've succeeded in a field where I am often the only woman in the department. Anyhow, there are still a few of the saner/less entitled TiMs in my social circle and I will play nice, and tend not to have any reason to make a fuss. Don't start none, wont be none. Well, turns out one of them isn't so sane. Apparently now the language has changed again and sex is a forbidden word entirely. It's not biological sex. It's "assigned gender". Didn't we just go through like 3-4 years of "Gender is a social construct and a spectrum and does not equal sex"? But it's pretty handy if gender=sex but sex isn't real and gender isn't either so do anything you want! It's fucking absurd and i'm tired of it. I'm critical of gender. and believe in biological sex. But other than that I'm very of the "you do you, just leave me alone" variety. Wanna wear a dress? You do you. Wanna be called a female name? Yeah okay. Dont care. I'll call you any name you have. Doesn't bother me. Have surgery? If you're over 18 you're a grown adult and it's your body. Do whatever you want to it, just don't come crying to me about the consequences. And that just really isn't enough these days. No no, we have to constantly change language, deny the existence of biological sex, pretend that transwomen are not only women but identical to cis women because everything else is offensive! I'm just fucking done and tired of it. I'm not here to play handmaid to whatever weird ass reality they think exists and affirm everything they say when I know it's wrong. Of course, the number of "cis" women who don't identify as nonbinary of some format is rapidly dwindling in my area to the point you'd almost think it's a socially motivated trend to be anything but a woman. I'm one of the only last remaining "bisexual women" standing who doesn't say "I'm totally pansexual and nonbinary" because frankly there are two sexes, and I am attracted to both, but not all of them! I'm not actually attracted to that many people to start with anyhow! But that's hate speech these days. I'm just exhausted. And i'm tired of every single thing and space being SUPER ABOUT THE TRANSWOMEN.

TurkishCoffee