What is up with "lesbians" who meet their exception?

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-01T10:56:31+00:00

I have many straight women friends who call themselves bisexuals even though their only bi experience was kissing a few girls at parties. What they really mean when saying "I am bi" is that they are "open-minded, modern and tolerant".

I also have bi friends who are fascinated by how intrigued people look at them when they say they are "lesbians". They like the idea of belonging to such a hidden, mysterious and unavailable to men group.

As a result lesbians are not being taken seriously and people think "well if a guy says he is gay it's irreversible but for a girl things can change". If I explain it to my straight/bi friends they are surprised big time, they were not aware of it and they stop throwing "lesbian" and "bi" labels where they do not belong. So I guess we have to educate, nobody is going to understand our struggles if we do not explain them.

Once "women with exceptions" understand that wanting to have it both ways actually hurt real lesbians, they are fine calling themselves just bisexuals

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-06-30T07:38:56+00:00

This is just so upsetting, no words can express it. I am in my late 30s and I come from a very homophobic country. It took so much time and effort to escape my country of origin and move to a democratic and open-minded one. Never ever would I imagine to have to go through hate, discrimination and "lesbians will enjoy dick, they just need to try it" all over again. It feels surreal. We gotta do something about it.

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-19T07:49:29+00:00

What upsets me is that we are left all alone to deal with this "shit show". Very few women would support lesbians. They would rather support transgender, non-binary, gay males, basically anybody, except lesbians, as if it is the uncoolest thing in the world to be the lesbians' ally.

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-11T07:03:20+00:00

I think we should have more LGB focused conversations and just ignore T. Not being the first topic on the agenda is what T can't stand. We have ourselves and our platform now. Why don't we act as if T has been dropped already?

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-01T16:43:35+00:00

I noticed that too and I was wondering why is it like that. I bet bi women can't stand seeing their partners going through "bi cycle", even though they demand understanding for it from lesbians and het men.

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-12T10:55:32+00:00

The future isn't looking all so bright for the TRAs. Making lesbians obey their bs was an easy thing because sadly gay women are a minority of a minority. But wait till they start suggesting het men to try the "girl dick"...

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-25T17:59:01+00:00

Buckskin_Suckerpunch said "her age inappropriate girlfriend" :)

At 21 girls often find older women quite fascinating, so I would't exclude that option

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-21T21:35:36+00:00

I don't treat them differently but I feel a bit awkward around them. It's hard to explain this feeling. It's like we got something big in common but it's not something that can necessarily turn us into friends

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-01T12:45:27+00:00

Some women are very selfish, nothing we can do about it. But maybe some day they'll grow up.

It's also human to think how you feel is how everybody feels. Many lesbians share a similar story - when they noticed they like girls, they thought all women are like that. It's just the society that forces women to marry men but in fact all women like women.

So probably "lesbians with exceptions" think that every lesbian prefers girls but develops feelings for men as a "regular exception". And that is what being a lesbian is like.

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-11T07:23:55+00:00

In that matter I agree with you. I am just getting so sick of T here and T there and miss the good old days when we could just be gays and talk about gay stuff, discuss gay dramas and make gay jokes

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-11T06:38:40+00:00

I am from Europe, in my late 30s and I use a variation of my username on Reddit. I work in tech, love music and blessed to have a great girlfriend. Very happy to be here, thank you Mods!

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-09-08T17:29:42+00:00

Looking into her seductive eyes and feeling her breasts over her clothes immediately puts me in a trance-like state

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-02T20:43:03+00:00

Omg... The girl is greeting us from the Victorian Era. It's a sign that the time machine has been invented and we are the first to find out...

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-10T23:00:33+00:00

Always have and always will!

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-01T13:09:47+00:00

I always thought the same. I find it kinda normal when straight women complain about men but when lesbians do it... I highly doubt they are lesbians for real

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-18T23:46:31+00:00

Giving neck and shoulder massage :) Especially when a woman comes back home from work tired and exhausted and just falls into my arms

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-15T00:05:24+00:00

For me that would be 2. At some point I felt like I really miss talking to lesbian women about lesbian stuff and this is how I found TL on reddit. The best thing about lesbian forums is that no matter the differences in background, age, opinions or interests, I still get a very unique feeling that I can relate to so many things that are being discussed here. And it feels so fulfilling.

I have nothing against transgender folks (granted, the lesbian erasure is not so much of a problem outside of anglo-saxon world). But as I just said, if I join a lesbian forum, I want to be around women I can relate to, and with transgender it's not possible for obvious reasons.

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-10T18:51:48+00:00

Both TL and LGBdroptheT?

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-25T17:06:26+00:00

Is the underage girl attracted to you? Can it be? ;)

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-19T09:59:42+00:00

Definitely 80s. I would love to see neon pink retro aesthetic and boxy cars everywhere around me. Not to mention crazy fashion style and the coolest post-disco tunes

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-27T14:00:00+00:00

I can take any bio length, pics, etc. Some people tend to overestimate themselves, others are way too humble and reserved. It's all human and it's all understandable.

The only thing I can't stand is complaining. Why on earth some people believe their complains might be of interest to strangers (let alone attract them), has always been a mystery to me

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-10T22:42:59+00:00

Thank you from a gay woman

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-10-10T21:36:21+00:00

You know... yes but I kinda also have a feeling that a pussy loving feminine fitness guru will motivate my lazy ass like no other

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-25T18:54:40+00:00

Which means your wife's friend is 52, has a grandchild and is dating a 21 year old girl? Wow she must be quite a character

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-25T14:25:36+00:00

I felt so ashamed that I didn’t know how to dress like a cute girl.

It's 2020, you don't have to dress like a cute girl if you don't feel like

Even while making love as homosexual females, the male is never far from our mind watching us and wanting to be involved.

Please don't make your "homosexual" experience everybody's experience

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-02T22:09:11+00:00

I can't wait till these weirdos get the nerve to replace lesbians with het men and start imposing their ideas on them. I am sorry for het men but oh boy will we be entertained

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-16T16:30:07+00:00

To be honest I still consider myself neutral. Transwomen have always existed and will always exist. I believe the majority of them are nice people, and besides they are mostly straight and looking for men, so they could care less about lesbians.

The ones that are invading our spaces are het men who have finally found a legal way to materialize their sick porn fantasies.

What I don't understand is why don't women just say "no" to girldicks and other weird stuff and ignore it? Why do lesbians give attention to these douchebags? Had lesbians not reacted to them, they would leave our spaces and the problem would be solved by itself.

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-10T18:55:59+00:00

Oh no...:(:(:(

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-09-05T10:30:10+00:00

Sure! When the despression hits hard, Gustav Mahler's 6th and 3rd symphonies are my go to pieces. Actually anything from Mahler performed by the orchestra can help drag me out of darkness.

By the bearable symptoms of depression I turn to Stravinsky Rite of Spring or basically any symphonies composed by Rachmaninoff, Brahms or Debussy.

Interestingly enough, when I am not depressed, I rarely listen to this kind of music. It feels too heavy and complex

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-01T14:26:49+00:00

Oh yes, so so happy until the next "exception" comes around lol

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-10-10T16:58:29+00:00

Sexuality is irrelevant, I agree. But if I had to chose between a good het hairdresser and a good lesbian hairdresser, I would go to a lesbian one. Same goes to good female doctors, technicians, etc. I have always been like that, I can't really explain why. Maybe I feel more "at home" or something lol.

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-09-30T22:37:52+00:00

I am really sorry for those allergic to parfumes cause I am probably their worst nightmare. I love fragrances to the point of overusing them sometimes.

My current favourites are Max Mara 'Gold Touch', Cherutti 'Image', Yves Saint Laurent 'Black Opium', Bvlgari 'Jasmin Noir', Escada 'Miami Blossom' and the list can go on and on and on :)

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-09-07T15:18:09+00:00

In addition to what has already been said I feel like modern LGBT has become a very sad place to belong to. Back in the days we could not be out at work, get married, have kids, etc. But outside of the homophobic world we would get together and have fun gender bender parties, watch Velvet Goldmine, crack jokes and dance to disco/rave. I had to face a lot of difficulties back then but I lived with a weirdly nice feeling of belonging to a forbidden and hidden underground world that was full of creativity and extravagance.

Now it seems like TQ has turned everything into a tragic oppression olympics. No matter what you say or do you are going to offend somebody out of their TQXYZ soup and be canceled. Recently I was thinking how would TQ kids react to K.D. Lang? They would probably say poor country girl suffers from internalized transphobia and send her on a T journey lol.

However, with all the great memories that I have about the past, I prefer the present. I feel protected by the legal system and this is what counts. So young lesbians are lucky no matter what. I understand that it's hard for them to find the like minded people they can relate to. But if we managed to do it without the internet back in the days, then really nothing is impossible lol

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-05T19:59:47+00:00

If it's really dysphoria that a lesbian woman is experiensing, then she can't be a lesbian, I suppose. I heard from a few lesbian friends that they once thought they felt dysphoric but realized later that it was some sort of "penis envy" that has gotten so strong at some point that they confused it with dysphoria.

Certain circumstances in their lives have led them to wish so much they were born males because life would be so much easier, that they started to subconsciously hate their female bodies and kinda blame the bodies for all the problems. The friends I am talking about were not all butch. Some were butch and some pretty femme

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-02T20:19:10+00:00

Because school kids don't care anymore about math, physics, biology, chemistry, etc. Why bother if they can immerse themselves into a wonderful and so diverse world of gender identities and sexualities. They can pick one in the 8th grade and come out, change it in the 9th grade and come out again.

Every new identity will be greeted with the thunderous applause from the school staff. And don't the teachers dare to stumble at how knowledgeable little geniuses already are when it comes to biology, history, natural science, etc., etc. They will be canceled straight away.

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-12-02T17:58:55+00:00

When I read the news, a 'Kristen Stewart is next' thought popped into my head. Dear Universe please prove me wrong!

I also think it might just be a wise career move. I doubt he goes on hrt and proceeds with surgeries. He will stay on a safe NB island, involve in some activism here and there and that will secure him new roles for the next 5 years.

Being a lesbian ain't gonna get you such benefits. In fact, it has pretty much become a synonim of terf. "Old school dykes" like Ellen Degeneres or Kate Moenning can still get away with it. But for a millenial Elliot lesbianism is a dead end.

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-09-28T22:04:46+00:00

Yes, I am from Europe. Ethnicity hasn't even crossed my mind when I was posting these questions. I only meant a country of origin

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-09-09T14:35:15+00:00

Get my lazy ass back to the gym. I was on track with my fitness goals before the quarantine but since the covid saga has started, I spend most of my time working from couch and eating stuff that is turning me into a Michelin Man quite quickly.

No words can describe how much I hate working out. Just picturing the gym machines is draining my soul haha. But I also don't want to lose my swag completely. So heading to the gym next week

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-15T07:46:54+00:00

I wasn't aware how shamelessly aggressive and hostile the TQ cult is towards lesbians until I joined Reddit. I am beyond happy we have this group. I just hope sjw will grow up and move on with their lives soon

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-16T18:01:04+00:00

I meant if a trans woman is attracted to men, she must be a straight trans woman. I hear a lot from gay guys how ftms approach them in clubs or on dating apps. Gay guys just say no and walk away.

But it is completely different within the lesbian community. Some of us dare to say the truth and we do not buy into this inclusiveness bs (that's why we are here). But many other women who call themselves lesbians are gladly bowing to all this crap. Why is it like that?

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-16T16:46:30+00:00

How many women-only spaces do you know?

You are right! I can't name any besides those where women discuss babies and boyfriends. It has never crossed my mind how terrible the situation actually is. But well... If so many women follow the comphets path, what can they expect...

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-21T21:23:40+00:00

So as long as you find out the girl is a lesbian, you hug her around waist? :):)

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-25T00:29:19+00:00

you can’t fall for someone you don’t know

I thought so too but this time around my rational mind tripped me

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-12-28T10:15:51+00:00

Oh I hope she does. I keep my fingers crossed for you!! As far as I am aware UK also went bananas when it comes to TQ madness. But I guess, if you are in a happy relations, who cares about this queer oppression olympics :)

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-12-27T21:10:11+00:00

Then move to DE 😉 you won't regret it

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-10-10T16:26:57+00:00

I live in Germany and it is a very tolerant country. All big cities in Germany are lesbian-friendly. Same goes for smaller cities and most of the rural areas but the problem is you might be the only lesbian couple there.

However, you would be surprised but lesbian scene here is practically non-existent. Back in the days I used to live in Madrid and Barcelona and I loved it! I found it easier to meet lesbians there because people are a lot more outgoing and lesbian life seemed way more dynamic to me.

PS. I just read the comments and It's funny that my opinion about Spain is exactly the opposite from LesChameleon :)

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-09-15T16:13:34+00:00

In the lesbian edition of The Village People I would replace CEO with a yuppie girl and vet with a dreamy artist type of girl

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-09-05T08:05:34+00:00

I listen to a very sad and dramatic orchestral music. Emotionally it takes me to another world that is very mysterious but also very tragic. And then I feel less depressed or not depressed at all, just sad maybe. Hope you find your way of dealing with depression!

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-29T19:22:15+00:00

I meant - if intend to finish turns into pressure, it's better to end at a foreplay stage. Lol

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-26T07:25:51+00:00

I can totally imagine having an octopus as my next door neighbour

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-23T16:17:33+00:00

Girl, you are a drug addict. Your lifestyle will highly likely cause irreparable damage to your health in the nearest future. Seek help. Figuring out sexuality can wait

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-02T09:28:22+00:00

I am originally from Eastern Europe but moved to Germany years ago

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-01T17:10:44+00:00

Bless this man!

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-29T13:37:19+00:00

Oh interesting, I did not know that. But why gay men?

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-25T11:11:31+00:00

Aaah, I hate when straight women are doing these things. It's kinda funny when happens but at the same time as you said - WTF 😤

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-10T18:42:46+00:00

I can't access them either :(

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-06-30T08:56:43+00:00

It does make me feel better, indeed! Thank you for sharing how things unfolded, I wasn't aware of it. Yes, we just continue to be loud and organized and it's all going to be fine again.

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-09-30T22:48:18+00:00

Hahaha this is hilariously true. This is exactly why lesbian night scene is doomed

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-25T15:23:09+00:00

Dear girlfriend, I need to confess... Internalized homophobia makes me think about penises during our intercourse. Can you help me get rid of it so I can finally focus on your vagina? :)

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-16T17:31:57+00:00

I was about to write exactly the same :) I considered myself trans ally by default and had no idea what's going on until recently

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-15T11:48:14+00:00

I would try to extend the 50 mile radius before giving up. Lesbians is a minority of a minority, so hoping to find a match living next door to you will probably result in a couple more lonely years.

In the pre-tinder times finding a girlfriend wasn't easy as well. What changed is bi-curious women became pansexuals and straight men fetishising lesbians are now called transbians. But somehow gay women still manage to find each other. Have some patience and you'll find your perfect match.

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-12-27T14:16:29+00:00

What mentality feels closer to you European or American?

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-12-26T14:50:46+00:00

USA went nuts when it comes to queer ideology. Sometimes the stories about TQ that I read here seem so ridiculous that I find it hard to believe these are true stories, but they are true. Luckily this absurd isn't happening in europe, at least not yet

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-12-26T12:37:55+00:00

Oh yes, there are many lesbian women here, so that is deffinitely a plus. As for queer ideology, it does exist here too but it's not as crazy and hostile towards lesbians as it is in the US & Canada. Nobody is going to call you TERF or transphobic for not willing to date trans women.

I would say Germans might appear cold and distant on the surface but most of them are actually warm, tolerant and helpful once you get to know them. There are many introverts here but also many loud and energetic extroverts. Besides, all big cities are full of expats, so overall the environment here is very multicultural, including gay community

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-10-18T15:26:14+00:00

I am somewhere between lipstick and chapstick and I am into lipstick or chapstick lesbians

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-22T17:55:31+00:00

Polo shirts, turtlenecks, skinny tight jeans, heeled chelsea boots and some jewerly. I might also put on jacquard blazer with ascot tie if I want to feel fancy

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-20T07:40:13+00:00

Emmit is one lucky dude ;) Congrats!!!

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-25T11:06:24+00:00

You have an iron will. It is really not easy to stay friends with a woman you have feelings for..

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-25T00:32:21+00:00

likely imagined and invented all sorts of things in my head Exactly this. And I blame bloody covid for it. Too much free time all of a sudden

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-02T18:10:06+00:00

This morning I got a coffee and instinctively wanted to check new posts on TL. And then the harsh reality hit me:( The next second I thought "oh, but I still got Saidit, life is good". Despite all the negative things that are happening now, I am happy we got this sub and happy to see it grow!

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-06-30T06:48:12+00:00

This is so frustrating. I just can't believe its happening to us

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-01T13:34:08+00:00

Maybe the problem could have been solved if there was a clear distinction between sexual and romantic attractions. Some people are sexually exclusively attracted to their own gender while romantically they might as well like the oposite gender.

If a girl is wired like that, theoretically she has all the rights to call herself a lesbian. Sexually she is only into women and being lesbian is a sexual orientation. But for "real" lesbians she is bi and it would be unfair to make us think otherwise.

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-12-28T15:54:14+00:00

Have you ever thought of Malta? It's within the EU shengen zone, so you can take the non-EU spouse with you and the climate is same as in Spain. I looked up the weather there out of curiosity and oh... 18 degrees.. it's a dream. I hate German weather with all my heart, especially now.

Anyways, if life ever brings you to DE together with VioletRemi, drop me a line. Maybe I can help with some country specific tips&tricks, in case you need them

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-12-26T11:50:08+00:00

Well.. if max. 2 parties in 3 months in pre-covid times can be considered a great lesbian scene, then yes 😀 Lesbian bars don't exist here either

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-12-22T22:41:40+00:00

I can totally relate to your issue. When I was your age I lived in a country with a very dominant heteronormative culture and all my friends (as well as everybody around me) were straight. I didn't see it as a big deal back then because I was convinced that I make friends based on common interests and not same sexual orientation, so I don't need "pride", gay pals and all that gay subculture.

At the same time deep down I felt like an outcast among my straight girlfriends and this feeling has only been growing with time. I was tired of pretending I was oh so interested in their dating life, marriage plans, etc. When I was sharing my personal stories, I felt like my friends tried hard to get it but they were just not connected to it. I lived with an odd feeling of being out and closeted at the same time.

At some point I moved to a very gay friendly country and little by little I started exploring gay culture and surrounding myself with gay friends. The feeling of finally being who I am and having people around me that get me, was overwhelming. I am not saying you should do the same :), obviously not. But maybe opening yourself up towards gay culture a bit more will make you feel less different and more at ease with yourself?

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-29T18:37:59+00:00

Don't force yourself to go further. Sometimes (actually oftentimes) sex that starts with a foreplay and ends with a foreplay is the best

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-16T14:20:13+00:00

That was a really interesting read, thank you for putting it together!

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-15T20:22:12+00:00

I am wondering do people who are going into Film/TV industry really think it's the dream world where everybody is nice, supportive and kind to each other?

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-12T06:32:32+00:00

I can get quite emotional inside but nobody is going to notice it. I am quite bad in expressing emotions even though I often want to. And I really don't like it about myself.

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-08-03T14:05:24+00:00

Absolutely. I can't wait for it

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-12T10:30:26+00:00

No more Reddit for me, tnx

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-11T21:52:13+00:00

Helloooo:) Great to know I am not the only one from the old continent here ;)

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-07-12T11:53:33+00:00

Can these teenies please stop telling me what to celebrate and what not to celebrate? Their schoolmarmish voices are giving me a headache

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-12-24T15:50:10+00:00

Yes, TQ+ ideology did not exist back then and in all honesty gay community was a much more fun and supporting place to belong to compared to how it is nowadays. But don't lose hope! You don't need to be friends with the whole community. If you manage to find at least a couple of like-minded lesbian friends who you share similar career interests, hobbies, sense of humour with, you'll feel a lot better.

I still have many straight friends and I love them. But my connection to my gay friends is somehow deeper and I can relate to them on a whole different level.

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-12-02T18:42:13+00:00

Maybe autoandrophilia and autogynephilia? Many of those who ID as trans now will realize later on that the dysphoria they felt was not a sign of them being the opposite gender. In fact what they felt relates more to being autoandrophilic or autogynephilic which atm is considered to be a rare and not well researched condition. There will be of course new genders created based on autoandrophilia and autogynephilia and the gender identity saga goes on and on.

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-10-10T22:01:42+00:00

I guess it depends. In that particular case I can imagine many gay girls would say I don't care who is my fitness instructor as long as they help me achieve my goals. But to someone like me it does make a difference

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-10-10T20:59:16+00:00

Why too much of an identity?)

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-10-10T20:58:23+00:00

Thanks a bunch! I'll look into them!

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-09-28T21:58:24+00:00

That's right. I live in Germany and I am a foreigner in Germany myself :)

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-09-09T15:22:02+00:00

How are you feeling now? I remember the crazy horse horror story you told in one of the threads

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-09-07T18:04:08+00:00

That is so true! Cate Blanchett is a fantastic actress but Rooney Mara's performance was beyond words. I was looking forward to enjoy Cate's acting but I could not get my eyes off Rooney's face. She portrayed such a broad spectrum of emotions so well, that's a real talent

Ricky_Ticky · 2020-09-05T09:26:36+00:00

Greek nose in combination with wide lips is my fetish

Ricky_Ticky