RestingWitchface

I'm a Christian, but I have a very analytic way of thinking, and I test all my beliefs. I was very deep into apologetics and read a lot of atheist literature too. I acknowledge that I hold spiritual beliefs that I cannot scientifically prove, but that bring value to my life.

I was brought up in a non-denominational church that was fairly progressive. There were some rules about women not being pastors/elders, although they were allowed to preach. However, women were treated with respect. I didn't see any misogyny or sexual misconduct. I was a tomboyish autistic teenager and I was very much made to feel loved and part of the community. In this church, people practiced what they preached and were kind and loving towards one another, and towards the outside community. They were not judgemental but supported each other to live good lives. They really came through for me when I was going through difficult times.

This has informed my feminism, because growing up, I always saw women treated with respect. It was a shock for me to go out into the world and see how badly women are treated in mainstream society. In my young adulthood, I was led astray by liberal feminist ideas and was in several abusive relationships. Perhaps that was my way of surviving in such a world. It was reconnecting with my Christian upbringing that led to me radical feminist principles (anti-porn, anti-prostitution), and set the standards for the kind of relationships I want to have with men.

When it comes to being gender critical, I think that's where my analytical side kicks in. I believe in science and in differentiating between scientific fact and spiritual/philosophical beliefs. I first questioned the ideology when I saw TRAs pushing for children to transition, which seemed completely wrong to me. I couldn't understand why they would campaign to give children less options. Later, I was peaked by the behaviour of TiMs towards women, and Caitlyn Jenner winning "Woman of the Year" and that famous quote "The hardest thing about being a woman is deciding what to wear". It was clear to me they have no idea about being a woman, and have no empathy for women, despite claiming to be one. I recognised gaslighting and silencing tactics from the abusive relationships I was in, and it put me on the defence. It contradicts everything I believe to be good and right. Furthermore, I believe in truth and honesty.

My own journey in life has been one of going through trials and learning self-acceptance. So when it comes to ideas like "words are literal violence" or taking hormones and undergoing extensive surgeries to become one's "authentic self", it doesn't ring true. I don't believe it's necessarily helpful to spare people any discomfort they might experience, but that instead we should equip people to be strong in the face of challenges.