Remember when Dan Savage tried to pimp out Lesbians. He needs to keep the word Lesbian out of his mouth, yet here is his latest (Advice for a lesbian-identifying woman attracted to her male coworker)

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-30T06:32:10+00:00

You bring up a very good point: I cannot & will not support surrogacy even for gay men. Altruistic surrogacy I have no control over & don't get a vote if women are not being coerced.

I'm not sure how big an issue this is for the gay community. I just worry that lesbians aren't numerous enough to sustain a movement at the local level certainly, and worry about the national level. If we can connect internationally, I think we'd be strong.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-30T03:37:14+00:00

Dan Savage can fuck off & get back in his own god damn lane. With the Advocate trotting out Lesbians to try to gaslight us into staying, surely they could've found one woman, at least, to give advice.

Baby dykes & late bloomers are already confused as hell & feeding them pomo bs doesn't help anyone but men.

Our whole system is so different. A man can't help but notice he's aroused, not to mention he's allowed to be sexual for himself. For us, the response can be subtle & for me it wasn't seeing an attractive woman that clued me in. It was only when I saw two women kissing in a sober, authentic fashion, that I felt something. There is no way for men to understand what we feel. It wasn't base, or objectifying. I didn't want them, I wanted to have that connection with a woman.

I was hoping, with the G being a target & peaking, that LGB could stay together. I'm not sure that's in our best interests.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-30T02:51:01+00:00

Jesus wept. On so very woke. I agree, the least they can do is check your file & see that you're a lesbian couple

It begs the question: Are they assuming a woman & TIM in your situation?

If you have the energy sometime, perhaps write their patients advocacy department, or whatever department interfaces with the public.

Talk about a REAL need for diversity training!

Best of luck!

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-24T01:13:33+00:00

And "abuse" towards men justifies male violence against women.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-24T00:35:07+00:00

Dear male rugby team (who happens to be gays: Why, exactly, are you weighing in on this issue? You're not taking any of the risks, nor are you having to compete for a spot. Any reason safety and fairness aren't sufficient reasons? - Suspicious

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-24T00:26:40+00:00

ours boundaries aren't negotiable either, welcome to the wonderful world of "no" is the beginning of the guilt trip, hate accusations & threats.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-23T22:50:20+00:00

l believe this is the study. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0886260514556767 If I'm understanding the introduction: It compares "Cis" LGB people to trans people, NOT "cis" women across the board with transwomen. Also, how many of said survivors are transmen?

I'm pretty skint, so can't see the read the entire study.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-23T22:43:04+00:00

Breathtaking DARVO. The utter gall! Can it get more obvious, rape, sexual assault , child rape & assault either never happen, or if they do it's their fault, and if they're not responsible, it's no big deal. Ever notice the sentencing gender gap?

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-23T22:25:06+00:00

That's bloody brilliant!

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-23T22:22:55+00:00

lol, why do they grass their own self to the public? Weren't their requests, erm demands supposed to be minimal. who on earth could meet this purity test?

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-22T09:21:24+00:00

was just about to post same. long, but excellent report.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-19T15:24:42+00:00

Interesting. The analysis is so much easier if one looks at this situation by class.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-19T05:39:34+00:00

This was a pic posted to reddit. If you have the stomach for it , check out Itsafetish here. They have archived their subreddit, so the evidence has been saved. Also for IRL here's an oldie : https://www.cnn.com/2015/03/07/living/feat-planet-fitness-transgender-member/index.html

Planet fitness quietly changed their locker room policy & did not notify its members. The contract stipulated seperate locker rooms. Planet Fitness took exception to other women being warned.

They know the majority of women do not feel safe in this situation, want to pander but not lose money.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-18T20:12:38+00:00

Exactly, and it would come as no surprise if big pharma played both sides to influence policy.

It's an unusually uncomfortable position to be in. I wonder how many working class & poor families went with the enemy of my enemy is my friend in the last election. I've certainly come out wiser, but Jesus, the cost is too damn high.

I'm going to see what Libertarians are actually saying, though I'm not going in open minded.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-18T17:40:25+00:00

God, I wish, unfortunately Obama, by executive order, redefined sex to mean gender identity in Title IX. I certainly had no idea. Odd it wasn't publicized as the civil rights breakthrough of our time. Edit: spelling.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-18T17:33:13+00:00

We also, IIRC, have at least one picture with a naked TIM in a lockeroom. You can see how validated he feels, unfortunately.

Oddly enough, the number of women seen naked in a lockeroom does not make a TIM a woman, says nothing in response to my request for privacy & dignity & my right not to be vulnerable to men in enclosed communal spaces.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-18T14:55:06+00:00

An oldie but a goody!

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-18T14:26:10+00:00

This is the argument that porn is a form of free speech. We actually don't have absolute free speech, as one is still not entitled to yell "fire" in a crowded theatre. We have to be careful of definitions, but I suspect if the intent is to cause bodily harm, it isn't, and never has been protected speech. Three guesses what "Speech" Dworkin was against ?

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-18T00:48:17+00:00

I get it, we need to see ourselves & Hollywood reinforces so much of American culture, but GLAAD can't have it both ways. You can't demand representation, and when you have it in the pipeline, shut it down because of casting decisions. The original L Word would never have gotten off the ground. Yeah I heard grumbling. I much preferred seeing lesbian actors take those roles too. Gotta say, I'm learning some valuable lessons here.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-18T00:39:22+00:00

Also one who welcomes your questions.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-18T00:38:53+00:00

Exactly! How is it NOT offensive for demonstrably straight people to reclaim it on our behalf? Lesbian not queer! It also makes life far more difficult,for baby lesbians, to confront internalized fear and loathing. What media potrays as lesbian is predominately pornified characatures. We older L need to be more visible & not hide behind queer & wlw.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-17T22:18:28+00:00

you are spot on & your post was both heartbreaking & reasonable. may you find solace.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-17T22:16:46+00:00

thank you

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-16T10:11:05+00:00

Hold you're ground. You've told him it's a deal breaker. That's your right. Check out transwidowsvoices.org. Therapy from someone not invested in TWAW is highly recommended. All the best!

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-16T02:35:16+00:00

SMH! If anyone should be included, if we didn't have the absolute right to associate with whomever we wish, would be HSTS, but at that point as it's already a mixed sex group, and surely gay man should be included.

That being said, lesbians are not required to validate & espouse your ideology.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-16T02:11:50+00:00

Interesting. One wonders, with all that time, why not investigate the science, look beneath the hood co to speak? Why does he object to Martina's views without engaging with what is actually known? The author doesn't bother to check what effect the hormones do and don't have. I also wonder if he had been aware of all the physical advantages, he would change his mind.

I doubt it. Doublespeak makes critical thinking difficult.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-16T01:11:44+00:00

It's so hard to tell on anon account what represents reality . Regarding TIFs, check out LGBDrop the T for some fairly ugly posts on gay guys. Gay men are absolutely being disparaged. Oddly /s, just statements of hate, haven't yet seen posts about dying in a fire, or gky.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T19:03:26+00:00

Absolutely anything but complete capitulation is transphobic. The dogwhistles they're suggesting are there: JKR doesn't think TWAW. JKR doesn't want the age of informed consent to drop even lower, so she "erases" young trans people.

As with other termonology, they're using dogwhistle wrong & obscuring the issue. Women have been saying (no one is hearing us/them due to twitter, facebook & google search practices) that Transwomen are not women. It's a perfectly rational comment. They called the Oxford Dictionary definition posted on a billboard a dogwhistle. It really isn't, we're out an out saying transwomen are transwomen, a subset of men. For some inexplicable reason, those in control of media go, oh, ok they're transphobic while I'm almost certain they agree that humans born male can't actually change sex (although some indoctrination is so complete I wonder about others.)

People agree with us, they just think it's rude and heartless to point things out to the most oppressed (well funded, well connect astroturf) among us. This response is typical, for how a woman is treated. With the exception of Glinner & perhaps Jonny Best, men do not get rape & death threats, calls to their employer, or doxxed.

Dig into how Meghan Murphy's treatment, or Posie Parker's. A notable exception is Fair Cop, where a man got a talking to by UK police for liking a limeric God help me, I missed a good portion of this too. Lesbians ever since Michfest, have been trying to get our attention.

You're absolutely right, JKR said nothing transphobic, but as she can't easily be cancelled, she's a major threat to the house of cards that supports their whole message. Sunlight is their worst nightmare. And when people realize they've been lied to and manipulated (those that don't double down, like the people who won't even read JKR's message) there will be hell to pay. 3 guesses who'll be to blame. Edit: typos.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T17:05:27+00:00

Yep, & on my good days I do have sympathy for trans medicalists, who do want gatekeeping & do not deny biology. Unfortunately very few can publicize their postion. While that's a relief to see, even though biology isn't denied, some do think their sexual orientation changes with transition. The logic escapes me. Seems a massive contradiction to accept you're a man, but base orientation on your gender.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T16:53:17+00:00

Yep, the children, strongly encouraged to go the whole 9 yards, puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones, major surgeries that remove healthy tissue vs. the adults who can simply announce their new "gender" & maybe dress up and/or wear make up.

Look at these poor kids, see we were born this way! It's so damn cynical.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T16:47:45+00:00

some know. Have you seen the "Enjoy your erasure " comments?

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T16:00:26+00:00

I certainly was not on for lesbians to use it when I was active in the community. We have (had) dyke marches & dykes on bikes, so if you were a lesbian we were confortable calling ourselves this. I wouldn't be comfortable being called dyke my straight people. That would feel like an attack. It's a rather strange process, reclaiming slurs.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T15:46:30+00:00

In our own name. Agreed.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T12:21:16+00:00

What do you think of a Transwidow/ TransWidower thread for LGB partners & expartners? It seems a remarkable lonely place to be. There is a Transwidowvoices.org now, but while it doesn't exclude LGB, it does center heterosexual relationship experiences.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T12:13:52+00:00

I can't speak for anyone but me. Yes, I've seen some of what you describe and it is out of line. I won't make excuses for that. It's inexcusable. I much prefer the mom's chat as they are clear that people with DSDS have repeatedly asked not to be used in this debate. I hear you on that indeed. I mildly disagree on your point about mental illness. In all my reading, Radical Femenism does not, so far as I can tell, take the position as stated above. of course radfems are not a hive mind, and many take pains to distance themselves from people who are GC.

What do you think of adding to the rules that people with DSDs may not be used in this same manner? Perhaps we could direct people to MRKHvoice's blog? https://mrkhvoice.com/index.php/2019/08/12/what-is-intersex/

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T11:40:31+00:00

I firmly believe this is one of many reasons that enabling a delusion in these circumstances is not a kindness.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T11:18:14+00:00

Enraging, we're mere stick figures, puppets useful to "bolst the agenda" and to masturbate to. I've been reading Gina Rippon's Gender and Our Brains. Girls and boys levels of empathy aren't different at a young age. Where do things go wrong? Clear entitlement here, is this truely delusion? His own words indicate he's well aware.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T09:56:19+00:00

Bent has a much longer history. It's also the name of a play depicting two gay men in a Nazi concentration camp. It's a very moving play. Edit: spelling

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T09:04:24+00:00

Absolutely, especially as that acceptance is ephemeral.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T03:56:43+00:00

I want receipts. Let's sel evidence of violence? Cowards who punch 60 year old women for attending a fucking meeting, our a group of masked assholes cornering middle age women on the stairs.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T02:46:56+00:00

I've only had one friend say, "But isn't it more about the person?" SMH. I simply said, "It doesn't work that way." I know most bisexual women absolutely understand this point, but she didn't. It was much easier talking to straight friends as the instinctually know no woman what do.

when this hits the fun, it'll be our fault (if we can't seperate, & god knows they get too much mileage out of LGBT to drop the label) and part of me world like receipts to hold everyone accountable. Edit: spelling

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T01:43:48+00:00

We certainly had our community, bars & bookstores. Can't say acceptance was very widespread. I grew up during the AIDS crisis & we were pariahs by association.

This is a hard one. I'm scared this horror could reach the levels of that one.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T01:37:29+00:00

Yeah, perhaps just wishfull thinking that my younger sisters might survive.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T01:35:58+00:00

It would take an enormous amount of work, but providing an alternative to HRC is a desirable long term goal.

UK has the right idea, and women there are far more organized. There are positive signs they're (all the Women's orgs & LGBAlliance) making themselves heard.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T00:55:21+00:00

And the numpties are straight... no conversion therapy needed.

My heart breaks & I'm enraged for & on behalf of femmes.

I'm out of the dating pool, so I'm wondering: butch lesbians on OLD or IRL, do you get the same bs rapey approach?

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T00:50:23+00:00

So glad they acknowledge unfair and accusatory statements sound...

unfair & accusatory.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-15T00:16:56+00:00

Scary environment for kids now.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-13T00:36:27+00:00

thank you! The Seattle talk was amazing.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-12T23:11:25+00:00

Jesus wept. That's a lovely seed you planted there. There is a thread on the moms site (not comfortable on this site & don't want to send even more trolls) that discusses anecdotal evidence that lockdown may have give girls some breathing room. Many have gone back to their old name & pronouns. One report of a young TIF buying women's clothing.

Some hope perhaps.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-12T23:00:52+00:00

Nope it's certainly for real for young lesbians and bi girls & women. Google the Cotton Ceiling (might want to try duckduckgo, wouldn't put it past google to hide it :)

For lesbians it's transphobia full stop to dislike sexual contact of any kind. Bisexuals are worse than those TERF lesbians cuz they don't even have an excuse.

They condescendingly allow those of us who are survivors of male sexual violence time to heal, but damn girl, hurry up & examine your predjudices.

Edit: http://www.gettheloutuk.com/blog/category/research.html

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-12T22:46:08+00:00

You are so very welcome here. We're all sisters, and as sisters we will bicker. That's normal.

I haven't walked in your shoes. As a GNC lesbian I do know how lucky I was not to come of age during this backlash.

My mailbox always open to you.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-12T22:36:36+00:00

Hmm, yep telling libfems that sexual orientation is gender based, is a bridge too far, but hey there's middle ground! Everything public is ok, just don't inconvience me in my bedroom.

God damn I hate how selfish & short sighted the main stream appears. No problem, I'm secure in public life, have at it.

And notice how the discussion is ended right there before anyone can take it to its logical conclusion? Psst: Laws are based on sex not gender. If homosexuality can no longer be a protected characteristic, neither can women as a class with that self referrential definition.

And not having checked the subs being banned or seen receipts of said hatred, some people are rather free with other people's rights.

Preaching to the choir, but damn it, make an informed decision!

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-12T22:08:49+00:00

Agreed whitness the pictures of TIMS with erections in women's toliets & changing rooms.

Rape culture.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-11T06:03:53+00:00

I like Rose of Dawn, but am quite unhappy that he's calling himself straight. It's really damaging this new definition of homosexuality.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-08T00:38:33+00:00

Wow, takes some real self rightousness (sp?) and no self awareness! How the hell do they rationalize that one (the law suit).

Super humans among us whose thought process amazingly advanced. Everything left wing men want - good. All else, bad.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-08T00:26:09+00:00

Jesus Christ

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-07T23:58:05+00:00

True & we will never please everyone. Was asked not to compare the two. I'm being naive I guess. Truth is, if one could use standard English, it would be obvious.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-06T22:17:37+00:00

oh, hell yes!

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-06T22:02:52+00:00

I sure as hell hope BLM pushes back hard at this clear exploitation of their movement.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-06T21:55:30+00:00

true. Can we come up with another one? especially as we've been asked repeatedly not to use this one.

Perhaps we could shift to another form of appropriation. lol, too bad animals can't object to being appropriated. there the delusion is obvious. How it isn't obvious in this one terrifies me. Women were clearly never human.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-06T21:41:34+00:00

Exactly, and the same could be said of LGB Alliance, etc. It would seem the first step in identity politics: detach brain.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-06T21:15:29+00:00

Ask yourself why in the UK their government health care system just admitted that they have no clue what effect pubity blockers have on children? It was done very quitly. In the past the claim was they were fully reversible. Based on absolutely nothing.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-04T21:00:41+00:00

Remodelled bathrooms do seem workable on the surface, though hard to see if someone is unwell or in danger. Would love to know if the enclosed walls are also a threat since it's easier to trap & hide in there. We really need research.

When it comes to hospitals, rape crisis centers, homeless shelters & hostels, I would ask for a 3rd space. It'll take time & effort, but perhaps, say big pharma could chip in.

This would be so much easier if one could discuss it, in good faith.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-04T20:51:17+00:00

As the silencing, cancelling, coersion and manipulation increases, I find it harder & harder to make ANY consessions. This constant disrespect of boundaries is a huge red flag.

Each time we say, oh, ok, we can protect your feelings the next boundary is pushed. I predict, after the huge backlash, the fullback postion will be pronouns. What harm is using peferred pronouns?

Well ask the police & public looking for a suspect in an assualt ? Or consider each & every time a rape report uses "she". See? Women rape too.

If speech is compelled, I will always say no. And the refusal to hear no, as if anyone needed proof, is such strong evidence of abusive behavior.

I'm terrified we can't find a compromise, that level heads in government will prevail - they're so hard to find.

Bit all over the place, but no, regardless of the reason someone transitions, no matter how closely a man matches the feminine stereotype, he remains a man.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-04T19:56:58+00:00

Jesus, can no one respond to JKR's statement of fact? Engage with her actual statement? I don't believe a single one of the baying mob has.

It doesn't matter how nice, compassionate or liberal I am, sex is a material reality, woman our oppressed because of it. Regardless of everyone's sincere desire to makes it all better & safe, humans can't change sex an men remain a threat to women and children.

It's unbelievably frustrating to watch as every response is an emotional appeal cementing the notion that women's objections can't possibly be logical and considered on their merits. We can't possibly have a point - no we must be deluded a hysterical. Edit: spelling

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-04T19:44:32+00:00

https://www.advocate.com/commentary/2020/7/01/responding-jk-rowling-its-past-time-lesbians-speak-out

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-04T01:18:32+00:00

This excellent! Thank you. Reading the reason why marital rape "couldn't" be prosecuted is jaw dropping. Legally, since under UK & common law, once married the wife is seen as part of the husband, she couldn't be raped cuz how can one rape oneself. Alternately as the husband was legally responsible financially, sex was therefore a right. The ripples from this legal fiction are everywhere & devistating. "I bought you dinner..." Jesus, it's a wonder that men who murder their wives are procecuted at all & goes some way to explain why the penalty for women who, in self defense, kill their husbands, are punished so severely. I wonder if under common law we're still not explicitly a person.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-07-01T21:06:36+00:00

Never saw it either, which leads me to think:

Plant in order to smear GC. Screen shotted before mods could intervene.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-06-30T01:25:30+00:00

Enraging! Men get to say who women are & what we can say.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-06-30T00:37:55+00:00

God, I'm sorry to hear that. So much fear getting in the way. I take it these were private because I didn't see any of those comments.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-06-29T23:47:25+00:00

what a strange experience. watching people who have never read GC being overjoyed it's gone. & feeling the need to gloat about it. All while truely objechonable content lives on & the gloaters can't bring themselves to acknowledge this.

Jamiethiel2018 · 2020-06-29T23:32:25+00:00

Damn glad to see you, WrongToy! I lurked mostly & you were banned before any of us could thank you properly for protecting women & children.

Jamiethiel2018