What's Up With "Gender Critical" Gay Guys? They are tacky, spiteful, and, so far, mostly British

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-10-06T20:44:22+00:00

Ugh I could only get through maybe half of this before I had to hit the back button because I just couldn't take the self-important bullshit anymore. I hate the idea that I, a gay man, must be exactly similar in ideology to every other gay man, like we're all just one big mass of queer and not that literally the only thing unifying gay men is the fact that we like dick.

I don't understand how these people just can't fathom that someone may not be obsessed with identity politics, that some (read: many, if not most) gay men and lesbians want to be "normal" and get married and have a family and not "queer the idea of marriage."

I want to live in my house on a corner lot in a quiet neighborhood with my husband and two dogs, and like... that's fucking it. I don't have rainbow flags on my house. I don't have fucking activist garden signs. I just want to live a quiet life and not have people beating down my door because they don't want a gay in their neighborhood. And guess what? That's what I do! And I'd appreciate it if I wasn't associated with self-absorbed twits that think the whole world revolves around them, but because I'm "LGBT" I don't have a choice! All this stupid identity shit is doing is making people like gay people less and less, and this article writer and the interviewees have the gall to play the, "I don't even get why people are mad, like, it doesn't even affect you at all mannnnnnnnnn," game.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-03-31T13:17:40+00:00

I don't think a TRA would struggle at all or even attempt to "explain it." They'd just say that both of those sentences are indeed true and that it's not an example of doublethink, and the only people that would think it was doublethink are Nazi fascist transphobes that deserve to be killed.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-06-08T14:14:04+00:00

Just because "Stonewall" is trending doesn't necessarily mean people are talking shit about Stonewall, it just means people are talking about Stonewall. So clearly if it gives you anxiety to see that your workplace is even being talked about at all, that means you know your workplace is doing some stupid shit that's getting talked about negatively.

Also, Jesus Christ get the fuck off of Twitter - it's like some of these people think Twitter is the entire world.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-04-16T19:25:58+00:00

OP: "Being antagonist assholes just makes people not like you."

TRAs in the comments: be antagonistic assholes

Gaybros in the comments: "This is exactly what we're talking about."

TRAs: "What is happening right now never happens."

Like they can just wave their hands and say they aren't the droids we're looking for.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-06-02T13:28:55+00:00

Why does it fucking matter if the LGB Alliance isn't helping advance trans people in any way? They're allowed to have whatever mission they want and to still be a charity; it's not all about trans people all of the time. This is like screeching that the ASPCA isn't doing enough to advance BLM. They're completely separate things! It's not all about you!

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-11-10T14:27:01+00:00

This is just like that scene in "Sex Education" where the girl breaks up with the guy because she feels like he sees her as a girl and not as neither male nor female. Also, I understand the (stupid) idea that someone can be non-binary and not have to look androgynous or whatever, but that's just further proof that "non-binary" means nothing and isn't real. It's just a way for people (mostly young straight girls) to appear to be special and not boring. Just get a fucking hobby, Jesus Christ.

EDIT: Also, I love the idiots in the comments saying things like, "He clearly doesn't deserve you." Like, you don't know shit about this person other than that she makes no effort to present androgynously, thinks that saying "I'm not a woman" means she just magically isn't one, and bursts into tears and complains on the internet when her boyfriend says she's a woman. Where's the implication that this person is someone that's so amazing that this guy doesn't "deserve" someone so great as her?

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-04-04T14:59:40+00:00

eyeroll "Some people are bi" doesn't mean everyone's bi. Also, I sincerely doubt most of these "hearts not parts" people will really put their money where their mouth is when it comes down to it.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-12-23T19:45:59+00:00

Also, that's not the norm. I'd love for my husband and I to be able to have biological kids but I'm certainly not going to go out of my way to get a woman pregnant just so it can be "my" kid when we can just as easily eventually adopt.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-01-03T16:26:57+00:00

I'd like to see what that 18-year-old gay man would say after actually having sex with a trans man.

I've seen trans men that I think are surface level attractive, because they are hyper-masculine and I am attracted to masculinity. When I find out they have a vagina between their legs, I can still find them surface level attractive but I don't want to have sex with them anymore, because I am a gay man and have no interest in putting my dick in a vagina.

The fact that there are people out there that actively attempt to look like the other sex in an elaborate form of deception doesn't mean that I have to have sex with (or even enter a long-term relationship with) them if I thought they were cute before I realized that they were actually women, similar to the fact that I am not obligated to enter a relationship with some actual man that I think is hot and then I find out that we have nothing in common and he's actually a terrible person.

Congratulations, young gay! You've been deceived by women who believe that they are men, and found yourself surface level attracted to them. That doesn't make you a good person.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-12-23T19:46:59+00:00

It's just a new version of "there are starving children in Africa so eat your broccoli."

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-11-18T18:26:00+00:00

This is what happens when you redefine "man" and "woman" to be "anyone who identifies as anyone who identifies as anyone who identifies as anyone who identifies as...."

You get idiots who think "gay men are attracted to anyone who identifies as a man" and "lesbians are attracted to anyone who identifies as a woman." Kids are being taught this stuff.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-05-19T17:53:47+00:00

Wait a second, when did the bisexual flag start creeping in? I mean, good on you guys for getting some recognition I guess but like, the whole point of the rainbow was that it included everyone.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-03-28T20:52:22+00:00

I mean... on one hand, this woman is allowed to be bisexual and be in a "straight" marriage, because that's sort of how bisexuality works. But at the same time, it's a little tone-deaf to post a picture of an ostensibly straight couple wrapped in a pride flag and call yourself "queer" because of it.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-01-28T21:07:04+00:00

Wait, they've been together for three years? So this "I'm a trans man" thing couldn't have possibly been the deal in the very beginning of the relationship. Is she dating a gay man that started dating her when she was presenting as a woman, or is she dating a straight man that likes getting pegged and is just hoping that the trans thing will blow over?

This shit is so confusing. Also, I hate that, "I want him to say very specific things but I want him to just organically come up with those specific things! Why can't he read my mind?!?!?!" nonsense. Girl, just have a fucking talk with him (never mind the fact that he's probably not "affirming" you because he probably still sees you as a woman and is thinking you'll get over being trans and go back to being his girlfriend at some point).

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-10-27T20:58:27+00:00

Where is all this rampant transphobia in the media that people are talking about? That literally one article? Such drama queens. Most of the media caters to all of your bullshit and supports you and acts like you're amazing just for existing and nothing else.

Also, I'm not a woman, so I can't say for sure, but I'm pretty sure that women aren't sharing female-only space with trans women "all the time." Also also, I can't think of a single time that a trans woman has "had my back," certainly not "since forever."

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-10-08T11:55:47+00:00

These histrionics are exactly why people are going to eventually stop taking the TQ+ seriously. It's like how, in the US, the D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) program made more kids do drugs, having exactly the opposite effect as intended. D.A.R.E. portrayed marijuana as a "gateway drug" and basically tried to scare kids into thinking that having one hit of weed would kill them. Once kids eventually did try weed and found out, hey, it's fine, they would think to themselves, "Okay, so D.A.R.E. fucking lied to me; if weed isn't as bad as they said, maybe heroine isn't either."

It's the same fucking thing. "Oh, no, the BBC has decided to stop kissing our asses; we're terrified! People are going to start murdering us with no repercussions!!!"

Then that doesn't happen, and the sane people think, "Oh, so they're just blowing every little thing out of proportion." So if there are any serious issues that the TQ+ community is facing, everyone's going to start thinking, "Oh, fuck off you whiny crybabies."

I give it 10 years tops before people just start blatantly ignoring anything they say, and it'll be their own damn fault if they can't manage to get whatever rights they think they don't have.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-07-29T18:04:21+00:00

Also, why is it on the majority to communicate to the minority? Let's pretend for a moment that every single trans person completely passes and you really can't tell until you get them naked (which, I mean come on). So, if I go on a date with a guy, I don't know if he's a biological male or if he's a trans man and have no way to tell until we're in bed. Let's say I go out with ten guys. One of them (and even this is a ridiculously high chance) will be trans.

So I have to tell 10 guys, 9 of which are just regular old men, that I'm not into trans men, implying to the 9 non trans men that I think they are trans? That's so fucking stupid. Why can't the 1 trans man say upfront that he's trans instead of me having to go around assuming everyone's trans? They've gotta know that they're an extreme minority of the population, right?

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-06-02T13:25:42+00:00

But in her purported attempt to subvert gender roles, Lovato is only cementing them further. At one point, Vaid-Menon also suggests he must not be male since he likes ballet—a claim fully consistent with the most regressive and rigid kind of sex stereotypes.

See, this is exactly what I've been saying since "non-binary" became a thing. It's made out to be this "eschew gender roles!" kind of thing, but only serves to reinforce those gender roles. If you're saying you can't possibly be only a woman because sometimes you don't wear makeup, what you're saying is, "If you're a woman, you must wear makeup at all times!"

Maybe society at large does say those sorts of things. But you can't fight against gender stereotypes while reinforcing those stereotypes. Men can wear makeup and still be men. Women can have short hair and still be women. If these people really wanted to eschew gender roles, they'd be loud and proud with the fact that they are women that don't follow society's "rules" and are still women (same thing for the non-binary men).

That tells me it's all just narcissism and trying to feel special, not with actually dropping gender roles. Then again, does it surprise absolutely anyone that all of these celebrities are coming out with new super-special identities in an effort to stay in the spotlight? You pretty much have to be a raging narcissist on some level to be a celebrity anyway.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-12-09T20:14:27+00:00

lol "There's no perfect definition"

There freaking used to be!

Honestly, as a gay man, I've always been fine with "gay" being an umbrella term that included lesbians (while at the same time being a bit jealous that gay men didn't really have a term like "lesbian" that we could claim), but trying to turn "lesbian" into an umbrella term that includes straight relationships is just disgusting to me.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-09-30T17:20:46+00:00

The best response to this kind of rhetoric is just, "Okay."

They think they can shame you into things; if you show them that they can't do that, then they've lost most of their power.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-02-25T18:04:31+00:00

Ugh, on one hand I love the people that call themselves "queer" because that's a big ol' flag that says, "Don't waste your time interacting with me because you're going to find me completely insufferable," but on the other hand, I hate that a bunch of people just decided that "queer" has been reclaimed now. I mean, I haven't been called a queer in a long time but surely we can just... stop using that word to describe someone's sexuality, right?

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-10-22T17:52:33+00:00

I'm sorry, but who the hell feels "unsafe" on an internet forum? No one is reaching through the screen to strangle you - I could literally right now spout off dozens of terrible racial epithets and homophobic slurs (not that I would, mind you, because that's not the type of person I am) and no one could do anything about it.

What exactly is it that words or pictures on a screen are doing to make someone think that they are in some sort of danger?

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-06-11T15:31:55+00:00

This is exactly the problem with being "nonbinary." It's just, "it sucks being a woman, so if I just say I'm 'not a woman,' then all of my problems that are related to me being a woman go away." Instead of deciding that you're going to live your life however you want and not let anyone call you less of a woman because of it, you say, "What has gender ever done for me?" and toss your womanhood into the trash.

Same with nonbinary males and manhood. It's okay to eschew traditional gender roles and still consider yourself a man or a woman. Hell, I can spend one evening crocheting, the next day hiking, the next evening at a hockey game, and the following evening baking cookies for my friends, and I've never once thought, "Wow, I guess I must be neither man nor woman because I do things that are stereotypically associated with both genders!" I'm just a man who likes what I like and lives how I want to live and surrounds myself with people that care for and about me regardless of the things I do.

The other problem here is that you can't just "get rid of your womanhood" like that by proclaiming you're nonbinary, anyway. Those women in this post are still going to be perceived as women by the rest of the world and the rest of the world is going to act toward them like they are women. Just own your womanhood and own being a lesbian and throw up the middle finger to anyone that says women can't be this or that. It's so infuriating to see people getting caught up in this bullshit, and indoctrinating their small children into this bullshit as well.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-04-29T14:03:23+00:00

Excluding things in the name of being inclusive has always seemed like the stupidest thing to me.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-05-25T20:15:23+00:00

I don't understand how people can say things like, "I [a straight woman] am attracted to men, but like, in a gay way, so that means I'm actually a gay man," or, well, like the above, talking about how his love for lesbians is "sapphic" and more than just "an attraction to women."

Like, I love my husband and I guess that it's "in a gay way" because we're both gay men, but it doesn't "feel gay." It just feels like I love my husband. I feel really bad for all of the people that are getting sucked into this shit and I'm really thankful that I don't have kids right now.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-03-23T20:38:33+00:00

Real talk: who's out here murdering trans women? Seriously. You'd think that if there was a huge rash of trans women getting murdered, that would be all over mainstream media (at least in the US).

Or wait, are they talking about killing themselves again?

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-12-15T21:37:51+00:00

Yeah, my husband and I have a pretty healthy sex life but we hardly do anal, and I don't really feel like I'm missing out on much. I do feel like these ~~straight women~~ transmen just don't understand anal because it's surely a different experience for women versus men. In my experience, it's not that all gay guys are into poop, it's just the price you pay for anal because it feels good most of the time.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-07-22T20:34:31+00:00

Those sections you quoted also stood out to me. It's interesting, because it does seem like the author is more a champion of "women" than specifically "lesbians" and is mostly using the example of what's happening to lesbians as an example of what could happen to all women if gender identity politics are allowed to continue.

I do see this, however, as an "enemy of my enemy" situation. She may not be an LGB ally (so I can't say "the enemy of my enemy is my friend), but what she's saying in the article does have merit and ultimately, I think that it's not a bad thing that feminists are getting sick of the gender ideology thing, too, and how it harms women.

As gay men, I think we have it a bit easier than lesbians do right now as far as the TQ+ goes. Gay men might have some women fetishizing them and shaming them for not sleeping with said women that pretend to be men, but it doesn't seem quite as threatening to me as the stuff that trans women are pulling with lesbians. So, I think it's okay that maybe this author doesn't see eye-to-eye with LGB on everything, because I feel like LGB people (and especially the L) need allies for this specific issue desperately, and every bit helps.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-06-03T18:13:00+00:00

"In my community, in the queer community, with a lot of trans and nonbinary people, we all frequently remind each other or remind ourselves. It's a sort of constant mindfulness where you are always catching up a little bit," they say.

"You might know someone for 10 years, and then they let you know their pronouns have changed. It's going to take you a little while to adjust, and that's fine. It's OK to make those mistakes and correct yourself, and it's OK to gently correct someone else."

How does anyone think that that's an appropriate way to go through life? "It's so difficult to keep track of all of my friend's different pronouns and sometimes they change them on me so I'm always getting it wrong and walking on eggshells around everyone, but it's totally okay! At least I'm respecting everyone and wasted a lot of excess mental energy in the process!"

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-05-24T19:19:11+00:00

I really wish that these people would be self-aware enough to type out "She inflicts so much pain on my [by just existing and not doing anything]," then stop, take a look at that, and think, 'Maybe it's not her that's the problem since she's literally not doing anything.' No, instead we go straight to threats and violence.

Also very skeezy in general this language he's using to describe his coworker. He is definitely glossing over the "do bad things to her" when he's most likely talking about rape fantasies.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-05-19T18:14:51+00:00

lol Yeah, the question becomes why. Like it's just so inconceivable that a gay man or a lesbian might just... want to have kids. No, gay parents adopting children or having kids through surrogates or IVF are doing it because they're part of a misogynistic conspiracy to... uh... create soulless demon children? I honestly have no idea what point is attempting to be made here.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-03-19T20:09:13+00:00

Uhm, I'm sorry but "man boobs" are completely different from "lady boobs" and should not be compared.

"Some cis guys LOVE man boobs, so they'll think your breasts and vagina are just great I bet!"

Please, for the love of God, step away from the internet.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-03-16T19:49:43+00:00

lol Here's a tip for that person - if you find a group for "queer men," there probably aren't going to be that many gay men there, so you can feel free to go hang out with your girlfriends that think they're your boyfriends and with the straight boys that toss on the Q to get the V.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-11-17T18:49:51+00:00

Where is the self-awareness? How can someone type that out, look at those words, and not think, "Maybe I actually do have some issues to take a look at and work through."?

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-04-30T18:00:02+00:00

Whatever happened to just being open and honest with your kids and letting them know that they don't need to be afraid to ask questions? You don't have to shoehorn in stuff about lesbian sex if you don't think your kids are lesbians, ffs. You can just tell them that if they feel like they may be same-sex attracted then they can come to you with questions of the nature.

Although, truth be told, given that the trans ideology seems to be spreading amongst the youth (this mom says her middle child has a trans friend, at 13 years old no less), I can't imagine that there's really a good way to talk about sex using the terms "straight," "gay," or "lesbian." After all, this 13-year-old girl could enter a relationship with her friend that is also a 13-year-old girl, but that's not a "lesbian" relationship because one of the girls thinks she's a boy. So if they have sex, is it lesbian sex because it's two biological females, or is it straight sex because it's a girl and a "boy?"

I'm glad that I don't have children yet and I hope that, by the time I do, we get back to "teens that want to be special just put on black clothes and thick eyeliner" rather than getting all genderspecial on everything.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-05-20T18:58:07+00:00

"Wild" is an understatement. This lady is so deep in her rationalizations.

"He hit me with his bloody dilator, but it didn't hurt, and he knew it wouldn't hurt, so that's not abuse. But when I said don't hit me, he took it like I was saying he was abusing me and it was very upsetting to him so I wish I hadn't said that."

Look, I get it; you're married and you don't want to go through a messy divorce with a mentally unstable person. But something's gotta give; this is a nightmare situation.

Also, let me just emphasize this: he hit her with his bloody dilator.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-04-12T16:37:19+00:00

In before "you don't know how many of those people were trans and were just too afraid to be open about it because of transphobia."

Yep, I bet that probably at least half of those people were actually trans and were too afraid to be open about it, but weren't too afraid to go marching under a "lesbian & gay pride" sign and get beat up for being gay.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-03-22T13:17:41+00:00

I think my favorite one of those is "sensually cover your suggestive areas." Yeah, sure, because when a gay man on Grindr is asking for a nude, he definitely means he wants to see everything but the penis. I don't think I could roll my eyes any harder.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-12-09T19:22:34+00:00

Ugh I commented before reading through the replies are you're right - these people are quite insufferable about it.

"I just HATE being gendered AT ALL, it makes me want to rip my hair out!"

"It's so annoying when people older than me call me 'sir!' Like, you're older than me, I hate it!"

"Mx is a good gender-neutral alternative-" "WAAAAH it wasn't actually coined by trans people I don't want anyone to call me anything at all!"

Like get a grip, is this really worth bitching so hard about? Don't you have actual problems in life at all?

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-09-24T20:49:31+00:00

Sounds like they're trying to pull the old, "Do you check everyone's genitals before finding them attractive?" thing.

Which, like, no, I don't look at a guy and think, "Wait I'd better make sure he has a dick before I think he's cute," but really I shouldn't have to have that thought cross my mind. And also, I've totally mistaken a butch lesbian for a guy from a distance before and thought "he" was cute, but then lost my attraction when I found out she was actually a woman. So that's not the "gotcha" they think it is.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-08-18T20:54:37+00:00

I'm finding, as I get older, that I care less and less and less about labels and identities and stuff. Would it be nice to have gay male friends that know what it's like to grow up gay men in the late 90s/early 00s? Sure. But honestly, every single person's experience in life is so different that I find it better to just hang out with a group of friends from different walks of life. Maybe that's very 90s of me, I dunno.

My friend group is two gay guys, a straight married couple, a double-divorcee and his girlfriend, and all of them bring friends from their circles sometimes to our hang outs, and we all get along great and have fun together. Maybe think about why you want to be part of an LGB group specifically. I get that it's an easy in when you're gay, because you automatically think, "Okay, we've got something in common and I know that they'll not care about me being gay," but really, most groups you can find based around any common interest (hobby groups, for example) won't care if you're gay nowadays.

I know it feels bad to not feel like you belong, especially with a group that you've always felt a sense of belonging with before, but maybe you should take these feelings as a sign to look outside LGB and into other groups of people that you have something in common with. You might surprise yourself with how well you fit in somewhere else.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-08-05T14:24:26+00:00

Whatever happened to "trust but verify"? There's a world of difference between assuming that EVERY alleged rape victim is making it up and that EVERY alleged rape victim is telling the absolute truth. Of course you don't want to immediately dismiss someone that says they've been raped, but I don't think it's wrong to ask for some kind of evidence, especially if you're about to ruin someone else's life and reputation over those accusations.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-05-11T19:25:38+00:00

From what I've read, it appears that some ancient cultures did do this, but it wasn't necessarily a good thing for the priest/shaman. For one, it was almost universally gay men that ended up in those positions, not trans people, and if said gay men could be considered trans it was because they were typically eunuchs.

The fact that they were castrated for being gay leads to them being in positions of "respect" because they aren't competition for whatever leader currently reigned.

Anyway, what Jules said is right: who fucking cares? Even if we assume that it worked like that, that "trans" was even a thing back in ancient times and that someone being trans made society basically worship them, what difference does that actually make today? Our society doesn't worship trans people (well, I guess that can be argued). Are they trying to say we should be revering them and putting them in positions of power? Get outta here with that nonsense.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-08-13T19:55:04+00:00

My struggle is to try and find the comparison between sleeping with a trans man and sleeping with a married man? I really don't understand what this person's trying to say.

"People on a diet won't eat low calorie ice cream that is literally just vanilla-scented ice, but they'll go eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's while hiding it because they're ashamed," is basically what I'm getting from this, which... yeah, low cal ice cream is gross and not ice cream, whereas real ice cream is delicious and wonderful but bad for you if you're on a diet, so you feel ashamed about eating it. What's the point? Just because the ice cream's shameful doesn't mean it ain't ice cream.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-07-16T19:42:44+00:00

If 'mspec lesbian' isn't a thing then lesbians are exclusively monosexual.

So then 'mspec lesbian' must not be a thing, because lesbians are indeed monosexual. Glad we could clear that up.

If you believe that, but believe lesbians can be attracted to any "non-men",

I believe that lesbians are monosexual and attracted to women, not "non-men."

then you're misgendering many nonbinary people.

Heavens no! However shall I go on?

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-09-22T19:20:16+00:00

Girl, it's just regular homophobia. You know why you find yourself put off by gay men? Because you're a straight woman that has spent more time romanticizing the idea of gay men than you have actually being around gay men, and because you're realizing that you're a straight woman who wants to date a straight man.

I mean, this really isn't that hard. How can people be so dense?

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-08-17T13:21:18+00:00

Of course the response to that is, "Stop gatekeeping."

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-07-28T12:07:59+00:00

I just don't understand the "denying our existence" argument. That's like saying, "This event that's only for black women is denying that white men even exist!" Let people have their spaces, Jesus.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-06-21T20:10:04+00:00

This is what happens when you live your life mostly online in echo chambers.

I find it a little disconcerting given that our acceptance is mostly limited to cutesy "trans girls are valid uwu you're so good at music" posts, but in practice we seem to be othered, like we're welcome in the community so long as we make it obvious to people about who we are.

That's probably because you are generally welcome in the community so long as you don't try to deceive people into dating you. Most people don't have a problem with trans people, they have a problem with deceitful people and would-be rapists. You being trans doesn't mean you're exempt from being considered an asshole.

Also, if you're seeing one thing when you're on TikTok or your safe space Subreddits and you're seeing something completely different when you dare to venture out into the real world, maybe that should clue you in to the fact that the internet and safe spaces are not indicative of the sentiment of the general population.

Is the idea of a penis itself disgusting to some given it's associated with men?

I can't speak for lesbians, but as a gay man, I'm grossed out by the idea of doing anything with a vagina. That doesn't mean that I think vaginas themselves are gross or that women are gross, I'm just turned off by them. Lesbians are not turned on by penises! It's really just that fucking simple. "Lesbian" does not mean "hates men" or "thinks men are all gross" or "is disgusted by penises." Stop defining lesbians by their relation to men!

There's burly men with vaginas out there, but you don't see preferences swinging the other way to dick only for lesbians that often.

There are exactly zero men with vaginas out there, and that sentence doesn't even make sense. If a lesbian sleeps with a delusional woman that calls herself a man, there are no dicks involved whatsoever. Also, the "genital preference" for lesbians will never swing to "dick only."

I don't want to be told I'm valid. I want to be treated like I'm valid.

Well, you can wish in one hand and shit in the other, as they say. If you don't want to be told you're valid, crying on the internet about it is going to have the exact opposite effect. If you want to be treated a certain way by other people then you're in for a real bad time. There are people out there that think I'm a jerk, even though I consider myself to be a fairly decent guy. I wish that no one thought I was a jerk, and I would love it if those people that do think I'm a jerk would treat me like I'm a nice guy, but, and here is the biggest point that I really wish I could hammer into the heads of all these people: you can't force other people to do, think, or say what you want them to and you need to get used to that if you want to live around other people.

Lord, I need to get away from this shit. It's bad for my mental health and overall mood. These people are so infuriating and oblivious and narcissistic and everyone else just validates that, which is even more infuriating. I like staying abreast of what's going on in our community, and I don't want to see the pendulum swing back to gay-bashing again because of these people, but it's just crazy to me that these people exist in real life and live their lives this way.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-05-19T17:50:11+00:00

it's like everyone sees me as a woman, the only difference being that they have to be careful with what they refer to me as

Congratulations, now you understand why people think nonbinary people are insufferable. Because that's exactly the case. You're a woman that everyone has to walk on eggshells around. Sorry you're not happy that your "get out of the binary free" card doesn't actually work that way.

we are not all the same, and we're not all different.

Yeah, almost like you're human beings! Do these people really think that "women" and "men" are monoliths and that everyone that is a woman is exactly the same? How is this happening? How are people so stupid?

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-04-27T14:59:28+00:00

Okay, putting aside the whole idea that 11-year-olds know if they're "queer" or not (I knew I was gay when I was younger than that but I didn't really have the words for it until probably 14 or 15), how on earth can there possibly even be enough LGBTQ+ students to have a "Queer Prom"? Even counting the handful of people that came out after high school, there were at most six gay kids at my high school, including me. What a lame prom that would have been (especially since only two of us were even out in high school).

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-04-11T18:33:59+00:00

Sure, no one's saying it's transphobic to have a preference. They're just saying it's transphobic to voice that preference.

"Not being rude about it" is literally impossible when you're talking to people who assume every single person that interacts with them is out to get them personally.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-03-16T13:53:28+00:00

Also, I love the fact that the OP was like, "Will gay men be okay with my boobs?" and the top comment is, "My bi boyfriend likes my boobs!"

Congrats, but that has literally nothing to do with what the question was.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-01-14T19:07:42+00:00

The nerve of those gay men, not including straight women.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-11-18T16:20:11+00:00

Asexual people are like, the most annoying one to me because (1) they all seem to have a different definition of asexual, (2) they all seem to act like their definition of asexual is totally correct and no one has ever had a different definition, and (3) they act like they are so oppressed when their "oppression" mainly consists of people saying, "No one cares, you're not special, get a life."

I maintain that hetero/homoromantic is not a thing. If you are heteroromantic, you are heterosexual. If you are homoromantic, you are homosexual. If you are biromantic, you are bisexual. Your sexuality has nothing to do with the amount of sex you have. I could never have sex for the rest of my life and I would still be a homosexual man because I am attracted to people of the same sex as me. That's how sexual orientation works.

"Asexual" would mean that you literally have no attraction whatsoever to either men or women. I guess I could concede that that might be a real thing somewhere (although I have my doubts), but if you are able to have a "romantic" attraction to someone, you are not asexual, and if you're heteroromantic, you're straight so you are not oppressed the least bit.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-10-06T19:33:49+00:00

"You don't have to date trans women as a lesbian, but if you won't date trans women, then you need to really think to yourself why that is and overcome your transphobia so you will date trans women."

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-07-28T20:44:13+00:00

Also... I can't help but notice that this person looks like a plastic doll with basketballs stuck inside her chest and ass. How does anyone think that that is a good look? Seriously...

Right? I know there are biological women that go off of the deep end with surgeries and stuff and end up looking like they're made entirely of plastic, but this person must really think that "woman" means "bowling ball-sized breasts" and also thinks that regular women just wear hip pads all day long. I'm amazed that this article seems to be praising how stunning they look.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-06-18T20:51:11+00:00

Yeah, I decided to go see what they're saying about this on Reddit and of course they're getting the story completely twisted and none of the relevant facts correct, and just going with, "Well he's a Nazi, of course."

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-04-16T19:35:38+00:00

I mean, you'd think that coming to that realization would snap this poor girl out of it - she's basically so close to understanding that she'll never be an actual man but somehow just comes to the conclusion that her life is shitty because she wasn't born a man. I wish there was some way to break through to someone like this, and tell them that they do have a childhood, they do have memories, they can have children and tell them about the first time they fell in love with another woman... I get that sometimes accepting yourself is hard, especially as a teen, but it doesn't have to be this way. How can she not see that going on hormones and trying to live life as a man instead of as a lesbian woman is going to bring her nothing but more pain?

I await with great anxiety the stories that will be told a decade from now.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-07-14T18:23:57+00:00

The idea that you can put yourself out there on a public platform and receive no criticism for anything whatsoever is so bizarre to me. If I went out to a public park, stood on a soapbox, and started shouting about how I hate straight people, I would expect to have at least some people getting upset with me.

Why should TikTok or Facebook or Instagram be any different? If you have a completely private profile and only share things with people you know in real life (which really should be what social media is for, in my opinion), then the chances that you are going to be harassed on social media would seemingly be pretty low. If you have a completely public profile and are allowing yourself to be seen by just anyone, then you should expect that people with other viewpoints will criticize yours.

Look, I'm not saying that people deserve to be harassed on social media. But a public social media profile is not and will never be a safe space.

I also find myself wondering exactly what these respondents consider "harassment" and what their posts were that received a bunch of "hate." It's sad to me that I feel the need to be hyper-suspicious of this kind of thing, but what are the chances that some of those respondents posted something highly divisive and vitriolic and the "hate" they received was just someone not toeing the party line?

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-05-10T14:56:57+00:00

My biggest gripe against the idea of "nonbinary" is that, if you look at it closely enough, you understand that it's effectively a stop-gap measure by lazy people that want gender-nonconformity to be accepted by society at large but want to be shielded from any criticism while they try to change society.

I actually don't have any issue with the idea of gender non-conformity becoming, not celebrated, but tolerated by society at large. I know that it already is to some degree, but I think it'd be cool if no one took a second look at a man wearing a dress because that's just normal, you know?

The problem with "nonbinary" is two-fold: (1) see above; people are lazy and sensitive and don't want to "do the work" of being an outsider in society, so they've made up a special identity that isn't able to be criticized in order to deflect reality, and (2) reinforcing the idea that "nonbinary" is even a thing also necessarily enforces gender norms. So when you see people screeching about breaking down gender norms and then calling themselves nonbinary, all they're doing is shooting themselves in the foot.

Just be a masculine woman or a feminine man and learn to accept that you might have a tougher time in life until society gets over its prejudices. I can guarantee you that a masculine woman or a feminine man has it easier now than they would have 60 years ago. I know it sucks that you might not live to see a world where people don't give you the side-eye because you're a man in a dress, but you can't force social progress. That shit takes generations, and if you really want to make a difference, you have to be doing it for people two or three generations down the line, not for yourself.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-03-24T13:35:50+00:00

What if that's just a lesbian looking for non-transbians to talk to? Good luck on Reddit.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-03-17T17:18:17+00:00

I think you'd be pretty hard-pressed to find one person who says that any man dating a trans man is exclusively gay. If someone is going to call a gay man straight because he's dating a trans man (read: female), they're also going to call a heterosexual man straight because he's dating a trans man. This person is conflating two different people into one person and calling it a gotcha.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-03-17T14:26:03+00:00

This article popped up on my phone because apparently Google thinks that I want to read about Lia Thomas all of the time. I think it's pretty shitty that they are specifically referring to Lia as "female" and comparing Lia to actual female athletes that were discriminated against because they were gender non-conforming or ambiguous.

The controversy surrounding Lia just does not compare in my mind to any controversy surrounding actual female athletes being suspected of being men.

At the absolute very least, this article should be written about "women athletes" - calling Lia a "female" is just ludicrous to me.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-03-16T13:37:54+00:00

I just don't understand how someone could "experience things that happen in romantic relationships without the romance and/or sex involved." I'm guessing this means that someone really just wants to: live with someone else, get on each others' nerves every now and then, work out paying bills together, split up chores, all that mundane stuff that happens in a relationship without the romance and/or sex.

So... a roommate? A "queerplatonic partner" is a roommate that you've agreed to stay roommates with for a while? How dumb to try and make yourself feel special for wanting a freaking roommate.

I personally don't buy that "asexuality" exists (and I'm just barely going to acknowledge the split-attraction model by saying that "[whatever]romantic" is definitely not a thing), but I believe that there are people that are uninterested in having sex out there, for various reasons (it's more that I just doubt that there are people that are simply attracted to NO ONE EVER and that those people that say they are are just lying to themselves).

With that said, I can imagine someone that's uninterested in having sex being interested in having a relationship still - because one is still straight, gay, or bi even if they are not interested in actually having sex with someone else - but there's no need to make that some kind of special separate category. This is just boring people with no personality trying desperately to find something "interesting" about themselves, and Lord knows that this is the best way to do it, because if you mention you're in a "queerplatonic" relationship to a normal person, they're going to probably ask wtf that means, and then you get to talk about yourself and how special and amazing you are by obscuring your totally normal human tendencies with mystical buzzwords. Voila, you are now "interesting."

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-01-06T13:55:38+00:00

I mean, I hate to say it because I agree with the sentiment, but we really shouldn't be celebrating cancel culture bullshit like this just because the person dredging up the past is "on our side." Like, that was from 2009, which feels like yesterday, but was actually 13 years ago. Aside from the fact that people can change, we should also be able to counter arguments without directly attacking the person making the argument as though something they did in the past automatically invalidates anything that they have to say.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-01-04T14:22:19+00:00

Uhm... maybe you're not into breasts because you're a straight girl and not because you're a "gay dude"? Maybe you find penises disgusting because you've never had any sort of sexual relationship with anyone? Maybe you think you're ace because you're a teenage girl and believe that no one has ever felt the way you do ever and you're super unique and special like all teenagers do?

These poor kids. I get being confused about your sexuality at that age, but all this shit just seems to make it harder to figure your shit out.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-12-21T16:02:56+00:00

It's supposed to be saying, "If you are a straight man and have a strong desire to be a lesbian, then you are most likely a trans woman who is actually a lesbian."

What's it's actually saying is, "If you are a straight man and you are constantly fetishizing lesbians, then you should put on a dress and call yourself trans and then you can make those lesbians have sex with you."

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-10-15T13:14:57+00:00

It makes me sad seeing the "before and after transition" pictures people are posting. I went to this particular person's Twitter page and there was a side-by-side of him and his wife before and after the transition and, honestly, I don't know how they can't see this, but both of them, and especially OP, looked much happier before the transition. In the before picture they're both genuinely smiling big smiles and seem to be so happy, and in the after picture, the wife looks like she's straining to force a big smile while Ellie here is basically just doing a closed-mouth smirk.

Are we really supposed to believe the couple on the right is the happier couple?

There was another one I saw where it was one of those, "Same place, two years apart," or whatever, and the pictures where he was a guy he seemed generally happy and healthy, and the pictures where he was a woman seemed like forced happiness. Also telling that he was drinking beer as a man but wine as a woman, which is a subtle hint that this is a person that has always been haunted by expected gender roles and thought that diving head-first into the trans world was the solution to their problems (men can't drink wine, you see).

Maybe it's just me reading too much into it; after all, I don't know these people or their lives or their minds, but... a picture is worth a thousand words and all that, and it just makes me really sad to see what these people are doing to themselves.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-07-23T15:58:37+00:00

Let's get something straight: Potatoes ARE CARROTS. Clouds ARE FLOWERS.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-06-23T19:52:08+00:00

"Pay reparations or stay home."

Okay, guess I'll stay home then. I wonder if that's going to backfire spectacularly for them or not.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-08-26T20:06:43+00:00

That's because the gays that speak out against it keep finding themselves banned from public discourse. I don't know what the majority of actual LGB thinks about the TQ+, but there's a part of me that's convinced that this is all coming from straight people that are pretending to be gay for woke points.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-05-03T20:42:47+00:00

I think what actually happened is that she had sex with this person once, then invented an entire relationship in her head. No one is blocking their fiancé on social media.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-04-27T14:36:41+00:00

Also "no one wants to date someone who isn't attracted to them" is patently false. It sounds correct on the surface, because what crazy idiot would date someone that isn't attracted to them? Turns out that narcissist fetishists not only will, but specifically will search out people that aren't attracted to them to guilt into dating them because they get off on the power play.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-04-19T19:06:18+00:00

When my husband and I got together, I made him wait to have sex for about a month or so. When we finally were about to, one of the major thoughts going through my head was, 'Man, I hope he doesn't have a weird penis, because I really love this guy and I guess I could deal with it for him, but it'd be nice if there was nothing strange going on down there.'

Turns out he has a normal penis that I have no objections to, but if there was something strange going on down there, I might look past it because he was such a great guy.

If we finally went to have sex and it turned out there was a vagina there, well, that's a whole different story.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-03-18T12:03:20+00:00

Supposedly both mom and daughter use it, she, and they interchangeably depending on what feels right at the time - which is, of course, not confusing at all for anyone that interacts with them (although it's not exactly common to use someone's pronouns when talking to them).

I personally enjoy the people in the comments saying that using "it" as a pronoun is dehumanizing. They're right, obviously, but it's funny to me that these are the same people that are always crying about not policing identities, and here they are saying, "I was sure you were a troll because you were using the it pronoun." Well, which is it? Can people identify however they want to or not?

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-03-17T12:07:18+00:00

This reads almost exactly like a bunch of teenage girls fawning over the newest boy band. I can only wonder why.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-11-12T19:55:11+00:00

Maybe it's just because I'm a Millennial, but I don't think this is Millennials and I'm a little frustrated by people continuing to blame Millenials for Gen Z's crazy bullshit. I know that generation lines are hazy and hard to define but Pew says that Millenials are 1981 - 1996, so the youngest Millennials would be 25. As far as I can tell, this stuff is mostly happening in colleges, which would be firmly the realm of Gen Z.

I don't doubt that more Millennials are saying they're LGBT than previous generations, because our generation was the one in which it really become socially acceptable to be gay, but most of the "it's a fad" stuff is surely 18 - 24 year olds, and younger.

These are the kids that I remember thinking about when I was in high school, coming up into elementary school when sports became a "nobody wins, everyone gets a participation trophy" affair. I remember thinking, "Wow, those kids are going to grow up and be so entitled and think they're so special with no good reason for it." And here we are.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-10-29T19:04:08+00:00

Yeah, the smugness is what kills me the most - I'd still be annoyed by the actual message but when it's delivered with that tight-lipped half smile and a little head shake it makes me wish there was a way I could literally reach through the screen and just slap someone.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-10-22T18:03:42+00:00

It's because they have literally nothing better to do with their time. I doubt they have very many friends that aren't text-based.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-10-15T13:23:57+00:00

Let me get out in front and say that I am not shitting on all bisexual people when I say this, but a lot of this rhetoric just screams "narcissistic bisexual person can't imagine that not everyone on earth has the same brain as them."

Like, it's perfectly okay to be bi. You wanna have sex or romance with men and women, great! You do you. It doesn't hurt me at all. But when you can't understand that just because you are bisexual doesn't mean that therefore everyone is bisexual, that's a problem. Gay people exist!

Also, miss me with that "I think labels are stupid" talk - if you think labels are stupid, then don't label yourself, but don't also go around telling people what labels mean (or that labels have no meaning and can be whatever anyone wants them to be). Labels exist for a purpose, and that purpose is for efficiency of communication. I call myself "gay" because it's shorthand for "I'm sexually attracted to other men." If "gay" means "I'm sexually attracted to other men, but also to women, but also to horses," for one person, and means, "I'm sexually attracted to straight men and also bisexual cows," for another person, then communication breaks down and no one is able to understand each other.

I'm not a religious person, but if there is a God, I'd ask him to please cut out this modern-day Tower of Babel stuff.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-08-13T19:07:19+00:00

Anyone who wants to say that Pride flags and BLM flags are not political symbols is lying (possibly to themselves, definitely to everyone else). While their presence may not directly harm any white and/or heterosexual students, their presence is absolutely 100% based on politics and political reasoning.

And anyone who can't look at the state of US politics today and see that it is overwhelmingly divisive... well, I have no hope. When we have people on both ends of the political spectrum that want to literally kill everyone on the other side, when a topic like wearing or not wearing a face mask is politically charged enough to cause people to physically assault other people, when people are being censored for having the "wrong" opinion about something, you can't say that hanging up a BLM flag or a Pride flag (especially if it's that stupid Progress Pride flag) isn't making a statement.

Whether I agree with the statement being made or not, whether any parent or child agrees with the statement being made or not, that isn't the issue. These kids do not need to be turned into political pawns by anyone from either side of the aisle. The schools need to be a neutral ground.

That counselor shares stories of students that were expelled from their homes (ostensibly for their sexual orientation) and of a black student that was physically and verbally assaulted (presumably just for being black, although that's not directly stated). Did that happen while these flags were up in schools? A student who is made homeless for being gay is not going to find comfort in a rainbow flag being hung up at his school. A student who is attacked by other students for being black is not going to find comfort in a BLM flag. For that matter, the parents that expel that student from their home, the bullies who attack that student for being black, they aren't going to be stopped by some flags in the school.

When I was in high school, being physically and verbally assaulted for being gay, did I find myself wishing that the school would hang up some Pride flags? No, I found myself wishing that I hadn't been born gay because life would have been a lot easier. If anything, seeing the school hanging up some flags and saying, "Welp, problem solved!" would have pissed me off more than getting bullied because flags don't stop bullies.

And I can definitely see a case for some homophobic asshole kid going into his school and seeing Pride flags all over the place and thinking, "Man I hate those fucking gays, always shoving it in my face!" and going on a bullying spree just based on that alone.

All of that said, I do take a little bit of issue with the dress code thing. If kids want to express their politics through their clothes (and reap whatever consequences come from that, positive or negative), then they should be allowed to do that. But that also necessarily means that, while one kid should be allowed to wear a "Trans Rights Are Human Rights" shirt, another kid should be allowed to wear an "It's Okay To Be Cis" shirt, and neither of them should face any consequences other than the social consequences of their peers.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-09-21T18:43:34+00:00

Hates her boobs, which means that she's actually a gay man, but has no problem whatsoever (assumedly) carrying two children to term and birthing them through her vagina.

As an actual gay man, I would be extremely distressed by becoming pregnant and giving birth to a child, much less two.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-04-29T15:33:43+00:00

Sorry, but it's basically impossible in my opinion to be trans and gender non-conforming. If that person was an actual man with long dyed hair and a face full of makeup, I wouldn't really think twice, because they would actually look like a man wearing makeup. If you want people to recognize you as a man at a glance, you have to do a little more than just put a sock in your pants. This person screams "woman" the second I look at her.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-04-21T16:24:20+00:00

I'll admit I mostly skimmed it because every paragraph was basically "anti-trans" this and "anti-trans" that, but I didn't even see anything concerning LGB. Maybe that little bit about Florida's "Don't Say Trans" bill.

It's ludicrous to me that people think that not exposing 5-8 year olds to gay things will make them think that gay people don't exist. If you really want your kid to learn about gay people at that age, you can teach it to them yourself. I find it bizarre that parents that are speaking out don't feel like they have any responsibility to their children, and it all rests on the schools. Like, you can talk to your kids about things.

This whole article was just anti-trans laws, and it really pisses me off that it's not labeled as such. It should be titled "Overview of 2022 anti-Trans Bills" because that's all that it's about. But I wonder why they wouldn't title it that way? Could it be that "trans" is not widely supported in general, while "LGBTQ+" is supported? Keep lumping us in with the trans people who are bitching about losing their suppose human rights like using whatever bathroom they feel like using and playing on whatever gender sports team they feel like playing on. You know, those human rights that we all have.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-12-09T19:11:11+00:00

While I do personally think it would make things somewhat easier if we had a "sir"/"ma'am" that was gender-neutral, because then you don't even have to think about it to be polite (I've accidentally said "sir" to a masculine-looking woman before and it does make me feel bad and I'm sure it makes them uncomfortable for like, a literal second), the fact remains that we don't have that in the English language, and that any attempts to create something like that are going to be ham-fisted and stupid-sounding.

It makes more sense to just accept that sometimes we experience embarrassing situations in life and that sometimes we experience uncomfortable moments and we have to learn to live with that fact. Especially in this guy's "I'm obviously a male but I'm somewhat feminine so it's really weird that they just assume I want to be called sir" case.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-09-23T14:21:50+00:00

Ugh, yeah - I do not even understand that art style. It's just so off-putting; why is it popping up everywhere?

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-05-19T17:52:07+00:00

What I would do to have these peoples' "problems." Someone on the internet made you sad, really? Jesus Christ, suck it up.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-04-25T19:28:05+00:00

I see this "gotcha" repeated a lot and it's probably the stupidest one that I've ever heard. It really only works until the clothes come off.

If I happened to see a trans man that was somehow both my type and also could not be clocked as a woman (I know that I'm talking about unicorn, but let's roll with it), I'd probably experience some attraction. As soon as I find out that attractive man has a vagina, all of my attraction would be lost.

For an example that has nothing to do with being trans, let's say I see an actual man that is my type and I am attracted to him because of his looks. Before we get into bed, I talk to him for a bit and find out that he's super into decapitating kittens the moment they come out of the mother cat. He could be the hottest guy in the world, but I doubt I would find him any sort of attractive knowing that he enjoys something like that.

It's like these people don't understand that attraction based on outward physical characteristics is just one piece of a much larger puzzle that forms overall attraction to someone, and that when new puzzle pieces are added to make a more complete picture, sometimes that more complete picture is unattractive. Like if you were building a puzzle and the image looked like a bowl of chocolate ice cream, but when you finish building the puzzle, it's clearly a bowl of shit.

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-04-20T16:10:59+00:00

MAAAAAAAAYBE if she wasn't wearing mom jeans with a t-shirt tucked into them I could buy her being like, a high school freshman boy or something. But even then...

Horror-Swordfish · 2022-04-15T15:09:36+00:00

Right? At first I was following along like, "Oh, two androgynous people went on a date and it took them a minute before they realized that they were actually a lesbian and a gay man, and had a good laugh." That's kind of a funny story. Then she drops the bomb that it was trans man she went out with, and I'm like, "Wait, so you're saying that you, a lesbian, went on a date with a woman, and now you are confused about your sexuality?"

Make it make sense.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-12-15T17:22:24+00:00

This is what's so fucking infuriating - someone says "the definition of gay, which is male human + male human, is being stripped away by trans rights activists and it's taking away our language to describe our own life experiences," and the response is effectively, "You're absolutely correct and that makes you the WORST PERSON ON EARTH." For one thing, this trans woman has no place to be talking about the gay male community, and whether or not "many" gay men consider trans men to be men. For another, if any "gay man" considers a transman a man and enters a sexual relationship with that trans men, HE'S NOT A GAY MAN.

It's like that one guy that's on the current season of Survivor that has a pregnant "husband" at home. I told my (actual male) husband about that and his first response was, "So he's bi, right?"

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-12-02T20:46:17+00:00

No no, that's certainly different, because those penises are on women and lesbians like women, so it's still the lesbians that are wrong.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-11-12T19:58:08+00:00

This guy is such a creep. And I seriously doubt that he gets asked if he's a boy or a girl because he is clearly a man. (Although, I guess maybe that question could be coming from small children who see him and are very confused, but then that begs the other question of why is he around small children so much that he gets asked all the time?)

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-11-03T13:32:00+00:00

The thing that they're not getting is that, yes, this article could be published about black men pressuring women into sex, or gay men pressuring straight men into sex, or whatever. The difference is that we as a society in general have come to the conclusion that anyone pressuring anyone else into sex or relationships is a bad person, while at this point in time, trans people are seen as unable to do anything wrong.

If there was a handful of gay men on Twitter posting things like, "I'm not saying that straight men need to have sex with gay men, but maybe they need to examine their homophobia and reflect on why they won't have sex with gay men," or "Straight men refusing to date gay men is homophobic and violent," that handful of gay men would be ripped apart as creepy predators. Meanwhile, there is a supposed minority of trans women going around on social media saying exactly those things about lesbians and they are being applauded for it. That is the difference. That is why this is newsworthy.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-07-14T20:36:50+00:00

There's a website called New Discourses that's run by James Lindsay that actually breaks down pretty well, in their articles, exactly what Wokeness is and where it came from. I've never been a fan of Wokeness myself, so it wasn't exactly eye-opening but there's definitely some good information there that might help you come up with ways to talk to your friend. Specifically, there is a "Social Justice Encyclopedia" that defines a lot of terms in the Woke sense. That can be really helpful, considering that Critical Theory seems to be very much about replacing definitions for certain words or terms with a new definition in order to make communication with "the outside" basically impossible. After all, if we can't even agree on the definitions of words, how can we possibly accurately get our ideas across to another person?

I don't have any practical advice, sadly. I did have a friend who was very Woke years ago, and it seems like she's backed off of that some. Not entirely, but she's also not super vocal about politics all the time anymore, so she's easier to tolerate. Unfortunately, though, Wokeness is effectively a cult and it's really hard to get someone that's in a cult out; keeping people in is one of the things that cults are really good at. Especially when you're looking at something like Wokeness, which, on its surface, seems like a good thing, it can be hard to see that you're actually perpetuating ideas that are nonsensical at best and dangerous at worst.

You might be able to find some avenues to just have discussions about things if she's actually receptive to hearing other points of view, but if she's not, it might just be something you've gotta let her work out on her own. Surely after enough time she'll realize that her point of view is only serving to make herself miserable all the time and she'll snap out of it.

Horror-Swordfish · 2021-03-10T14:34:38+00:00

Is "you're an asshole and I couldn't stand to be around you for longer than five minutes" a valid reason to say no, then?

Horror-Swordfish