Lesbians who only only want to date the female sex only do so because they don’t know they’re actually attracted to trans women. by yousaythosethings in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 28 insightful - 13 fun28 insightful - 12 fun29 insightful - 13 fun -  (0 children)

Aww, I never met any terfs on Her! What was I doing wrong?

Riddle me this lesbians: how can you be gay if you close your eyes? by [deleted] in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 20 insightful - 11 fun20 insightful - 10 fun21 insightful - 11 fun -  (0 children)

...you have heard of blind people, right?

Transgender ideology believers: "All invented sexualities are VALID!" Straight man: "I've invented a sexuality where I'm only attracted to female humans." TRAs: "INVALID" by reluctant_commenter in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 23 insightful - 11 fun23 insightful - 10 fun24 insightful - 11 fun -  (0 children)

Wow, ok this meme seems to have blown up really fast. I looked briefly under the #SuperStraight, and it's basically all straight allies being super supportive and funny. It's hilarious and I love it.

My favorite might have to be, though:

i am #supermario. we are people who are attracted to Super Mario, no other males, just mario

Another non man gets her arse and strap-on handed to her by AGB by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 14 insightful - 8 fun14 insightful - 7 fun15 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

I thought straight guys were just barely starting to stop thinking of pegging as gay. And now that's being rolled back, by the very women who would've benefitted from it.

GOLD STARS share your experiences! by TalerTest in Lesbians

[–]HelloMomo 23 insightful - 8 fun23 insightful - 7 fun24 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

My disinterest in boys was noticeable pretty early. In elementary school, a friend will tell you who she has a crush on and then ask, "Who do you have a crush on?" If you say "No one," she'll believe you the first time. Even the second time. But by the third or fourth time, it becomes suspect. She'll believe you don't happen to have a crush right now, but not that you don't have crushes ever. And so then your friend will think you're lying to her. The lack of reciprocity becomes a slight. "I told you who I like; why won't you return the favor? Don't you trust me?"

So I knew by the time I was 9 that crushes on boys weren't a "thing" with me. I conceived of myself as asexual long before I actually heard the word. I never tried dating boys because dating is hard, and I'm shy and lazy, and I can't possibly be bothered unless I really want it.

The closest I got to dating a guy was a male friend in college who had a crush on me, and I was like, "Well, if I'm ever going to try dating, this is an ideal chance. Going out and trying to date someone would be wrong and leading them on, since I'm pretty sure I'm asexual. But if the opportunity fell in my lap, maybe I should take it?" So I half-considered that for a bit. He was a good friend. I recognized something of myself in him, and I humored the possibility that maybe that could be attraction. Our neighbors in the dorm were shipping us, and even I sort of shipped us, in a hypothetical, "in another universe" kind of way. Like we would've made sense together. But then one time we were hanging out — and I guess he thought we were having a moment? — and he asked if he could kiss me, and I was just like, "...no." If you'd asked me half an hour before, I'd have said I should do it, just for the life experience. But when it actually came down to it... just no.

In contrast, my interest in girls slipped under the radar for a long time. When you're in elementary school, obsessive all-consuming relationships between best friends are normal, so I didn't think much of it. Then in middle school, I was too depressed to have crushes for a while. The classic hallmark of depression is disinterest in things that would otherwise interest you. Then in high school I was lonely a lot, and so when I was disproportionally into a friend, I was like, "It's because you've been so lonely and now someone's being nice to you." Also: "Girls are really pretty. It's not my opinion; it's just objectively true. All beautiful things invoke aching longing in my chest — so does the starry night sky, and Italian villas, and Gypsy Vanner horses, and I'm not into any of those. That aching is just the nature of beautiful things, it doesn't mean anything." When I was a toddler, there was a lesbian couple who lived next door to me, and so I've always known lesbians exist and are fine. So there was also an element of, "You're not actually gay, you just want to be gay and so you're trying to talk yourself into it. You don't like girls enough to actually do anything with it. If you went and got a girlfriend, you wouldn't be into her enough to make it work, and you'd end up hurting her." Throw it some asexual community discourse where attraction is defined very narrowly, and that compounds it.

So I was 19 before I realized that I was actually gay for girls. And even then, at first I said something like, "You always hear people say, 'I am gay. I am so so gay.' But I'm not 'so so gay.' I am only a little bit gay." And I think that was an honest expression of where I was at at that point. I used the word "gay" then rather than "lesbian" because I conceived of lesbianism as serious somehow, and having a higher threshold of homosexuality than "gay". But I think my gayness has leveled up since then.

I'm 21 now, and still working on the "getting a girlfriend." Sometimes with family or friends who I know aren't going to scrutinize me for it, I phrase it as, "The current lead theory in the field is that I'm a lesbian, although more research is needed."

Woque homophobia by [deleted] in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 10 insightful - 8 fun10 insightful - 7 fun11 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

I like this new spelling, "woque." It's like "problematique". I'm into it!

Now it's transphobic to reject mtfs with neovaginas by blackrainbow in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 16 insightful - 7 fun16 insightful - 6 fun17 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

Real vaginas aren't open wounds that harbor infectious bacteria.

...holy shit. Neovaginas are basically everything that men have ever feared about actual vaginas, aren't they?

Happy Cring... sorry Pride Month! by PatsyStone in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 8 insightful - 6 fun8 insightful - 5 fun9 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

There are so many holidays that I thought it was already over by now

Transgender ideology believers: "All invented sexualities are VALID!" Straight man: "I've invented a sexuality where I'm only attracted to female humans." TRAs: "INVALID" by reluctant_commenter in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 19 insightful - 6 fun19 insightful - 5 fun20 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

Wait, no, my favorite might be this one, just because it's SUCH an on-point satire: https://mobile.twitter.com/TPortengen/status/1368358213314359297

And I'm stunned someone set this up so fast. https://www.reddit.com/r/supersalliance/

And there is MERCH now and I am dying of laughter here https://my-store-11497263.creator-spring.com/

Am I in the wrong for feeling offended/appropriated by FTM acquaintances? by [deleted] in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 22 insightful - 6 fun22 insightful - 5 fun23 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

This phrase is something of a tumblr idiom, so I feel a bit odd saying it here, but... you're right and you should say it.

2000s vs. 2020s by ANIKAHirsch in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 5 insightful - 6 fun5 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

"Harry Potter is the devil's work and gays are bad."

Y'know, in this time of plague and upheaval, it's nice to know that some thing never change.

Not just UK leftist are tired of it, everyone is, cry more by Hannibalboy93 in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 9 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

shadow ministers flirting openly

That's actually some pretty good fantasy imagery there. I'm squirreling that one away for a poem, or maybe the basis for a painting. The contradiction between shadow and openly doesn't exactly jive well, but I'll see if I can make it work.

Why do LGB Alliance and LGN keep giving a platform to Julie Bindel, when she repeatedly makes homophobic and biphobic claims? by reluctant_commenter in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I know it's jsut a typo, and I'm only teasing here, but yes, the definition of "bisexual = attracted to opposite sexes" is indeed new to me XD

Favorite LGB characters on TV – You have to pick 1 of each! by dilsency in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Anne Lister from Gentleman Jack She's just so daring and confident and so fucking swoon-worthy. She reminds me of my wife.

I don't know what to say other than congratulations on your marriage

Anyone here experience sex dysphoria? by BiHorror in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 13 insightful - 4 fun13 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I did for a couple years around puberty. If you want to know more, I've written a whole blog post about it https://moessays.wordpress.com/2020/10/31/that-time-i-was-dysphoric/ But the short version is that my body up and changed on me and that felt like a betrayal, and it took several years to settle back into my body after that. But I did settle back into my body; I don't have dysphoria anymore, and haven't for years.

Advice:

  1. Don't dwell on it. Get on with the business of living, don't obsess over it. I know quarantine makes this harder. But if you're seriously dysphoric at present, I'm not sure that being on this forum is the best thing for you at the moment? Because it makes you think about this stuff. You don't have to spend your internet time on something like this. If you fall down the youtube wood-turning video rabbit hole, or something else like that, it might help you not have this so present in your mind?
  2. Manual labor. I think dysphoria might in some ways be just one piece of a much larger cultural problem of disassociation with our bodies. We spend too much time online were we're little avatar pictures. So many people work office jobs. I don't have much personal experience with this, but a lot of other people speak very highly of doing hard physical labor with your body, and say it really helped them combat dysphoria.
  3. CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy. Dysphoria is often basically intrusive thoughts of a self-loathing variety, and CBT helps you identify them. It's not about suppressing those thoughts, but letting them pass by without giving them too much significance or treating them as literally true.

The “Gold Star” Problem by WordsHaveMeanings in Lesbians

[–]HelloMomo 16 insightful - 4 fun16 insightful - 3 fun17 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I saw something really interesting on r/BiologicalLesbians right before it went down. There was this woman from a south asian country talking about how in her country — and, from what she'd heard, and other conservatives countries as well — nearly all lesbians are gold stars, because premarital sex is discouraged. Teenagers aren't supposed to date, they're supposed to focus on their studies. And so most lesbians have the time to figure out they're lesbians first.

Coming from a very sexualized western country, I have no personal experience of this, but I thought it was a super interesting topic, and would like to hear more about it.

It’s like they almost get it by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 7 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Say what you will about ContraPoints. But that video about how what people find cringey in others often correlates to what they're insecure about in themselves? That was spot-on.

A group calling for an LGBT Alliance has just 228 Signatures - most are made up sexualities. by Movellon in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 13 insightful - 4 fun13 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Wow. This is... spirited XD

All lesbians gone in 3... 2... 1... by [deleted] in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 13 insightful - 3 fun13 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

My first ever date was with a girl from Her. That was only a few years ago. A year before covid hit, I think?

Her opening line (and to this day, the best pickup line I've ever heard) was something along the lines of "for a second I thought I'd matched with Luna Lovegood" (I have long blond hair, and my profile pick was a good hair photo). This was back before motioning Harry Potter was a hot button issue.

Things sure change fast.

What are some good ways to support GNC kids? by reluctant_commenter in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Same with boys who are overexcited about knives.

I have been really knife-happy as long as I can remember too. Adults always seemed more skeeved out by that one, though.

Sad watching so many lesbians and bi women rejecting womanhood by oofreesouloo in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

My new strategy is that on my bumble profile I straight up say that gender identities are a deal-breakers for me (along with habitual pot use, and her having a boyfriend).

"Male vagina" by SausageFanatic in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I am wanting to make a Grindr account but I don’t want to get harassed: give it to me straight here.

If you have sex with a man, they'll be giving it to you straight.

XD props to that lad for turning this into something funny enough I don't regret reading it

What is the deal with Queer Theory separating Romantic and Sexual Attraction? by [deleted] in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Same! During my asexual days, I thought all these other people were weak-ass fakers — not like me, who was actually full-on 100% aro ace.

Ha! Turns out, even I wasn't actually that XD

Gays Against Groomers suspended from Twitter for a tweet cautioning about child grooming by reluctant_commenter in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

After looking into them some more, it seems like it's endorsed by Arielle Scarcella, and run by other people like her

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vl_SSkZqz3M Not to be dramatic and off-topic, but the founder, Jaimee Michell, is kinda hot

When did "gender" and "sex" start having different meanings? by CancelPower in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

English has a lot of Germanic (original Old English) vs Latin (by way of French) etymology leading to having different connotations for words that are technically the same meaning!

Like "smell" (Germanic) vs "odor" (Latin). Or "cow" (English, because they spoke English out in the fields) vs "beef" (because they spoke French in the castle where it was prepared all fancy).

The Trans Movement Is Failing Where the Gay-Rights Movement Succeeded (paywalled) by lunarstrain in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Most restaurants have a sign hanging somewhere that says, "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone." If bakeries don't have that, that seems very weird to me.

Lady on r/gaytransguys wants to rape men by deception by CaptainMoose in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Out of macabre curiosity, what actually is the typical range?

When sending pics of your dildo to guys on Grindr doesn't get the response you want by artetolife in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 15 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I'm most disturbed by the commenter suggesting various violent emojis

How do you feel about the "split-attraction model"? by dilsency in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Even back when I was identifying as aro ace as a teenager, I sort of thought the split-attraction model didn't make much sense. But I just shrugged it off, thinking that as an "aro" I just couldn't understand "romantic attraction".

SAME!!! I used the terminology, cuz I had to, but I always kinda thought it was bullshit. I also had this sorta truscum mentality, like aro aces like me are the real deal. Everyone else, they're just weak-ass fakers. (Although I guess I still think that; I just don't think I'm one anymore.)

Our Cult by xandit in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

The concept of “deadnaming” and the need to scrub and re-write history is one of the most on-the-nose concepts pulled straight out of George Orwell’s 1984.

It brings to mind the photoshopped images in the Soviet Union where people have been deleted

MLM by HelloMomo in LGBmemes

[–]HelloMomo[S] 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Whenever I hear people talking about how MLMs are bad, I have a split-second where I get mad, and am about to call out the homophobia, before I catch up and realize they're talking about ponzi schemes.

Gay dating at 9 years old... by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 16 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

...did you guys all go to elementary schools where no one had crushes or something?

Elementary school dating: 2 people hang out together, with no one else, at recess. Gifts are exchanged. After about a week, they dramatically break up. During this time, the rest of our classes watches them with bated breath like it's a soap opera or something.

Can you help me respond to this homophobic question please? by UWUness in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

There are a couple theories that hold that humans evolved to be long-distance runners, who chase prey until it collapses of heat exhaustion. By being hairless and sweaty, humans could run for longer than other species before the heat exhaustion got to us.

Even though this is a thing the human body evolved to be able to do, very few humans actually do it.

LGBTQ memes are full of stereotypes and group-signaling, not actual lived experiences by reluctant_commenter in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

As a kid, my mom constantly had to tell me I couldn't sit with one knee up at the dinner table. She can testify I did this before there were memes about it.

"Get the L out" undermines LGB solidarity. by 7874 in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

...you read "A and B have different priorities" and somehow get "A is oppressing B" out of that? Weird, and also kinda yikes.

But regarding gay men and lesbians, though: No, I don't think homophobia is monolithic.

For most of history, gay men been more visible than lesbians. In Greece and Rome, it was visible and legitimized, and lesbianism has no piece of history that is equivalent to that. From medieval times up to the present, gay men have faced harsher homophobia than lesbians. There were laws to make sodomy illegal, which had no lesbian equivalent. If you look at this map you can see that's true of many countries even today, like Namibia and Zimbabwe.

But while male homosexuality was treated as serious (and thus a serious threat), lesbianism was much less so. Lesbianism has more often been treated as not real, not worth worrying about. This results is a level of protection, but also a lack of gravitas. The whole "straight girls kissing each other for attention" thing works because it's treated as frivolous, unserious, unimportant. Men kissing each other has very different connotations.

Regarding supposed health services instructing trans people on how to rape gay people: Planned Parenthood Toronto's "Overcoming the Cotton Ceiling" workshop was way back in 2012, while UK sauna "no one can see what's under my towel" CliniQ thing wasn't until years later. I think the gap is narrowing now, but I also think that it's pretty disingenuous to look back over the past 5 or so years and say that lesbians weren't the first ones on the cutting block. Because lesbianism is seen as less real than male homosexuality, or because women are socialized to put up with more abuse than men are, or simply because women are shorter than men and it's easier to bully and intimidate someone smaller than you.

Neither of these flavors of homophobia were the result of either gay men or lesbians oppressing each other. The oppressing comes from straight people, but that doesn't mean the oppressing is one-size-fits-all. Things play out differently, because (shocker) a person's sex is a major factor, and makes lots of aspects of a person's life different.

Also: Your critique seems to imply that Get the L Out was created to undermine LGB Alliance. Consider that Get the L Out began in 2018 (or at least, that was the first time they matched at pride, they maybe have formed even earlier, I'm not sure), while LGB Alliance wasn't formed until late 2019.

"Get the L out" undermines LGB solidarity. by 7874 in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 26 insightful - 2 fun26 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I really have no stake in the question of what links should be listed here. But, on the topic of forced teaming more broadly:

While I do believe in LGB solidarity, I will side-eye anyone who demands it. It feels very #NoLGBWithoutTheT, that whole abusive marriage, "you can't leave, you owe me, you're obligated to me!" thing.

And like with the #NoLGBWithoutTheT thing, it has this baked-in denial about the fact that these are different demographics, which might sometimes have different priorities and be at cross-purposes with each other. And if cross-purposes do arise, the subtext is "You're under an obligation to subordinate your needs in favor of serving mine."

I'm in favor of freely chosen solidarity. Not demanded solidarity.

Oh, the hardships of telling the truth! 😢 by [deleted] in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 29 insightful - 2 fun29 insightful - 1 fun30 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

People have TRIED to state their genital requirements. MANY TIMES. That's what superstraight was.

And YOUR PEOPLE had a meltdown about it.

Downvoted to hell for saying lesbians are women (but of course TWAW...) by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 24 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

The comments point out actuate information about masculine females have been considered lesbians all through the 1900s, yet no one connects the dots that the key feature that connects them is that they're all female, and that no one proposed feminine males might count until like the 2000s

I'm so sick of these people and their entitlement by Hannibalboy93 in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

My bearded dragon loved mealworms.

Urging change of gender to be criminalised - looking at you r/egg_irl by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 21 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

So this is just the same thing they were proposing before, roping in "gender identy" as part of conversion therapy.

But using that as a weapon against Mermaids? That's clever! That's a hot take!

I am dumber for having read this. by julesburm1891 in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Well said

Ungrateful fuckers by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

lets pretend, for a moment, that that's true: I would give it back if I could.

I'm serious, that was the biggest takeaway I had from reading Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold. As a young single person, the lesbian bars of the 50s and 60s and actual community would be of much greater use to me than the right to marry.

What's Up With "Gender Critical" Gay Guys? They are tacky, spiteful, and, so far, mostly British by millicentfawcett in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

The anti-Doctor Who bit is really weird. My oh my! Let's show how uncool, now unlikely to spread to other countries, this is by linking it to something that's lasted for decades and is very popular outside the UK...? And for that matter, Bake Off is certainly on the short-list of UK shows most popular in the US too.

I thought they had gotten tired of spamming AGB.... by Criticallacitirc in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I am endlessly amused about how legskin rods alienate everyone. Like there are lesbians who'd be ok with a dildo but not a penis. And gay men who want a penis, not a dildo. But no one wants a tube of legskin; that is creepy and alienating no matter what angle you come at it from.

If you went to college, how are your official college LGBTQ resources (not student organizations) addressing LGB concerns? by JulienMayfair in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I went only once, this would've been 2017 or 2018 I think. We watching some video about a gay boy in middle school, I think it was produced by Ellen or something? Honestly, all I really remember is the beautiful bi girl at the meeting with two-tone blue hair.

Blaire White says in video supporting SuperStraights: "If you're a straight man who is into transwoman, you are probably a couple points from the side on the Kinsey scale" by reluctant_commenter in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

it doesn't make them bisexual, but they are not, clearly-- 110% percent straight.

If you define "bisexual" in the way that is popular right now (aka anyone who's even a tiny bit bi) then you have an awful lot of people with very different experiences categorized under the banner "bisexual". Which I would assume is difficult for bisexuals. Like how do you even build a community when "bi" can mean so many different things?

So if someone is technically bi, but not like... routinely bi, and they want to call themselves something else, I at least see where they're coming from. Not condemning or condoning it, but I'm just saying I get it. I think using the words heteroflexible and homoflexible more would be useful for clear communication in this case.

Elliot Page files for divorce from Emma Portner by SailorMoon2020 in Lesbians

[–]HelloMomo 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I find it interesting that so many people seem to think she is going to detransition at some point. (Not that I disagree; I think she will too!) But I think it's a testament to how much faith so many people put in her that even despite this, some of that faith in her lingers.

Trans rights activists pretend that the only people who oppose their views are radfems. by reluctant_commenter in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I recently saw "only terfs and conservatives think you can't change your sex" and it made me laugh. Only conservatives (roughly half of all voters) + some liberals as well = more than half of the population.

What's with the use of singular they? by [deleted] in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

'They' is seen as an impersonal personal pronoun, which can be used to refer to people in vague, non-specific ways:

Yeah, sometimes "they" is used to indicate an unknown person, even if the sex is known. Like when I was about to get a college roommate I found myself saying, stuff like, "Yeah, I should ask them about it before I go and get a fridge." The one and only thing I knew about my future roommate was that she'd be female. But my native-English-speaker inclination was still to use "they" to indicate the vague, unknown quality.

In the same way, I've heard non-bisexual people use "they" to refer to their future spouses.

Am I needy or is being a lesbian in a predominantly hetero society that hard? by oofreesouloo in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

It's fucking hard. I've been reading Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold lately, and honestly, I think I might've preferred to be dating in the 50s than now.

It seems like every girl I see is a they/them now by slax in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I recently was catching up with an old middle school friend, and it went like this:

Me: Yeah, so I grew up gay, but I'm still working on the "getting a girlfriend" part.

Her: Aah, I feel you on that! I too am queer.

I wanted to correct her on that. I'm not queer: I don't affiliate with that group, and I'm specifically homosexual and not hiding behind vagueness. But I didn't how know to phrase it without sounding aggressive. And so I didn't.

I'd bet you $10 she'd called herself "she/they" somewhere.

Apparently it's outdated to be a homosexual by EzukiRaen in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I'm reading Karl-Maria's page, and wow I love this guy XD

“young barber lad"; "very much in love with the lad"; "I have done it"

Percentage of homosexual women by Elvira95 in Lesbians

[–]HelloMomo 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I'm probably young and naive, but I'm gonna disagree with most of you guys, just because a weirdly high proportion of my childhood friends have grown up gay. I think the proportion of the population is more in the 10% to 5% range. Like a quarter of my childhood girl scout trope is gay now. We're only in our early 20s now, and so the number may drop again by the time we hit our 30s or 40s. But still, it seems authentic to me right now. Like them being gay makes sense to me; it lines up with my gaydar intuition.

Happy New Year. Cupiosexuals have joined the party! by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I think asexuality is a real thing, but as far as the identity goes, it's a very heterogeneous group. I'm not certain what portion of that identity group actually lacks all erotic interests.

I thought I was full-on ace for a full decade (I was basically to asexuality as transmeds are to tucutes) and during that time the ace community drove me crazy.

I'm tired of not having any lesbian friends and I'm tired of my generation by cinnamonstick in Lesbians

[–]HelloMomo 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Everyone here who's like, "Ditto," dm me and I'll send you a discord link. Then we can all be each other's lesbian friends.

LGB ALLIANCE Ireland is now actively forming - get involved! by BEB in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

In the name of self-care, I'm not gonna click that link.

Early 20s single lesbians, what's the plan? by HelloMomo in Lesbians

[–]HelloMomo[S] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I like these because if it was seen by a like-minded girl who wasn't "in the know" about an emoji code or whatever, she'd still know what was up

So, how’s your evening going? by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]HelloMomo 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I'm about to finish reading Gideon the Ninth. It's great, I'd recommend it to anyone; it's good, it's gay. A swordswoman and a necromancer, two childhood enemies who dearly despise one another, are forced to work together because Reasons, and it's great. The voice of the narration is like nothing I've ever read before.

Do you think a real same-sex dating app could be used safely? by HelloMomo in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo[S] 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Gotta say, I'm surprised how much I like the name Same. That's actually pretty cute.

What's the best dating app bio you've seen? by piylot in Lesbians

[–]HelloMomo 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

There was this girl who's profile picture was her standing on a moor, wrapped in a shawl, reaching out and touching a branch with her fingertips. I was floored by what an amazing photo it was. Once I saw it, it seemed so obvious—so THAT is how you get girls! Of course everyone wants a moor witch as a wife! Why didn't that occur to me before!

New LGBDropTheT flag, symbolizing the rejection of everyone trying to ride the LGB's coattails by FediNetizen in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Swallowtail flag, nice

A bigtop circus of comments on /r/lgbt: Apparently I am transphobic because I do not want to date a non-binary person by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If he legit isn't attracted to straight men, good for him! If only we could all be immune to the charms of straight people who will never reciprocate

"How do same-sex attracted children work? That seems dodgy." and more - r/transgenderUK ponders the existence of same-sex attraction by reluctant_commenter in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same-sex attracted children aren't exactly a thing. We talk about proto-gay kids, or kids who will grow up to be gay, but we don't talk about kids being clearly, definitively gay yet.

LGB Without the T? Handmaidening at its finest by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think you're taking something different from the quote than I did. The person who wrote it was a TRA who's trying to argue that like... homophobia is actually just misdirected transphobia or something? I don't even know. It was written by a goofball and that clearly still bleeds through, even in short form.

The reason I quoted that section, though, is because anecdote rang true to me. It doesn't strike me like a made-up, inconceivable situation. That's not to say that men holding hands with their boyfriends don't also face street harassment! I'm not saying anything about that. When I say that his anecdote sounds believable, I mean only is that his anecdote sounds believable.

LGB Without the T? Handmaidening at its finest by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I do think there's some truth to this passage:

Prejudice against homosexuals is about cross-gender behaviors. [...] On the occasions when guys have screamed “FAGGOT!” out of their car windows at me, it wasn’t because I was hand in hand or making out with my boyfriend (or theirs!) It was because I was walking. I was just walking, and there was something about my walk, my clothes, my hair, who knows, which they processed as inappropriately unmasculine.

Earlier this week I watched an interview with Helen Joyce where she said the same thing: https://youtu.be/OygT20clGfM?t=3380

What people used to know — and have almost deliberately forgotten — is that gay people are highly gender non-conforming. Every homophobe in the world knows this. Like every dad who wants his son not to grow up gay, knows very, very well that if he looks at the three-year-old who's borrowing his big sister's tutu and saying, "I want to do ballet," he thinks, "Shit, I've got a gay son." And like, we're somehow meant to pretend that's not the case.

The correlation isn't 100%, but it is strong enough to be statically noteworthy. For a while people have been kinda trying to pretend it's not the case, and I don't think that's yielded anything useful. I do feel like subculture that we in this group are are part of doesn't quite now what to do with gender nonconformity? Like, we say it's fine, everyone should be themselves, etc. And that's great. But what we don't do is contextualize it, or say it means anything, or give it a social framework. And this conceptualization of gender non-conformity as basically a superfluous random detail... I mean, I think it works for some people, but I think there are other people who find that lacking.

A year or two ago, I was reading ''Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold'', a historical book about the lesbian community in Buffalo New York from the 40s to the 60s. For them, the butch/femme culture was absolutely foundational. In the 70s, it fell away, and a more an androgynous version of lesbian social life, this one influenced by feminism which at the time often critiqued butch/femme subculture. I was thinking about how in butch/femme days, I doubt gender ideology would've made made any headway. There was already something else there to give lesbians a way to conceptualize gender expression. Like, the niche was already filled. But once that was gone, this new androgynous version of lesbian social life didn't last. A few decades later, young lesbians were once again reaching for a way to talk about gender expression and contextualize it socially, and now we've got this.

Even now, long after most of the butch/femme subculture has been left behind, the word "butch" has remained part of the vernacular. It's useful. It helps people make sense of things, and contextualize them within society. And every time Kai makes a post about how it's such a struggle to be a really gender non-conforming gay man, I think that the fact that gay men don't have any butch counterpart may be to their detriment.

I don't know. I think attaching meaning to gendered behavior is messy and iffy, but I also feel like basically we've already tried not doing it, we've run that experiment, and the results are in, and they're not very promising.

r/lgbt excited about being able to walk into Planned Parenthood and walk out with hormones by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think PP banks very heavily on having a near monopoly on it's field. If there was any other widespread chain that did low-cost contraception, who they actually had to compete with, they'd probably really have to clean up their act.

As soon as I started to look into it, apparently PP is getting caught for being sketchy all the time, like not reporting sex traffickers, not reporting underage girls impregnated by grown men (in places where that's statutory rape and is supposed to be reported), that kind of stuff. But because they have this very successful brand narrative, it's really hard get them really penalized for any of it. People are reluctant to penalize them for anything, because the thinking goes that they're necessary, so even if they do some bad stuff that basically has to be overlooked. And they really lean into this narrative, claiming that services like mammograms (which the vast majority of their locations don't do) are one of the essential services they offer and a key reason why they need to keep getting government funding.

Trans-identified woman publishes a book about gay dating. by Rage-Xion in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I just read Louise Perry's The Case Against The Sexual Revolution which is about, more than anything, the asymmetry between men and women in heterosexuality. Particularly, two major things are: the desire for causal sex, and the threshold for sexual disgust. Men are consistently and cross-culturally higher in desire for causal sex, and lower in the threshold for sexual disgust. (Although arousal lowers the threshold for sexual disgust in everyone. Like, someone else getting their spit on you is normally gross. But when people are turned on, this can be overlooked.)

I'm not sure what features of physiology cause this, but if hormone levels are a central factor... then I could see how a bisexual woman with her natural hormones might find it easier to find commandability with another woman, and then if she goes on T an her sex drive changes, then she might find men more sexually compatible to her. I think this is more or less what detransitioner and bi woman Sinead Watson describes happening to her: T cranked up her sex drive and she was super horny all the time, and it awakened her dormant bisexuality. Although she doesn't say she's only into men now: she says she's bi. Which sounds like a very normal-person take on it, and adds to my idea that people who don't are saying so because they have a yaoi fetish or something.

r/gaytransguys - What are some trans related red flags when talking to cis men? by Criticallacitirc in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Haha I purposely don't have those filled out

Same

Won't somebody actually think of the children? - Rebekah Wershbale, The Glinner Update by reluctant_commenter in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know at one point Rebekah Wershbale was Keira Bell's girlfriend. I wonder if they're still together. I hope they're both doing well, regardless.

"We're both heterosexual" by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I usually don't cum from head

Is that a stereotype? My knowledge on the topic is minimal and I'd like to to stay that way. But like... I have never heard a word about any category of men by orientation who don't like blowjobs.

Help me out here guys by Horror-Swordfish in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I guess I just find it hard to imagine that there are many landlords like that. In the field of capitalism, the fact that someone has money and is willing to pay usually outweighs personal moral quandaries. In order for this issue to actually hurt people's ability to live in an area, it would have to be a majority of landlords doing this, not just one or two. Like, if homophobia was more powerful than capitalism? I could respect that after some fashion. But I don't think that's the world we live in. While I know personal incredulity is not a real argument, that just seems unlikely to me.

[UK] Tavistock gender clinic will shut down in 2023, to be replaced by clinics with mental health services by NutterButterFlutter in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Would it be too much to guess that these new clinics will vary a lot, unlike the centralized, standardized Tavistock? That some will be good and other bad?

Help me out here guys by Horror-Swordfish in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Legal to discriminate on the basis of same-sex attraction: housing, workplace

People mention this from time to time, and I always wonder... if that was illegal, and then homophobic landlords were forced to have gay/bi tenants, would that actually be a good situation for anyone? If the landlord really feels that strongly about it, wouldn't it be better for the tenants to just live somewhere else?

Is Chris Chan not the best example of uncensored, unbridled AGP? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't know much about Chris Chan, but I do know he's autistic or severally mentally ill or something, and that complicates matters.

My puberty was chemically delayed. I was their guinea pig - The Times (UK) by reluctant_commenter in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

“When you’re doing experimental treatment, you take literally every single scrap of data you can get and you analyse it. You don’t just ignore it.”

Another phrasing of the same thing Helen Joyce said.

The lack of decent research and misrepresentation of findings mean gender affirmation cannot even be described as a risky experiment on children, since "experiment" implies someone, somewhere, is tracking outcomes and comparing them with other options.

Who are the demographic of men who are into TIMs? by HelloMomo in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

there are also people who probably feel pressure to seem "masculine" or "feminine" and adhere to those stereotypes out of some combination of pressure and beliefs about what a "normal" man/woman, or a "normal" gay man/woman,

People who make themselves into a caricature of gay stereotypes right after coming out is a thing.

But I feel like that's very different than the 6-year-old tomboys and femboys who will eventually grow up to be gay but don't yet know it. I've heard stories of people who's gender non-conformity preceded their first crush, so they certainly weren't trying to fit any stereotypes of homosexuality.

Who are the demographic of men who are into TIMs? by HelloMomo in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, there are personality traits that are considered feminine or masculine. But (at least in my experience) when people are talking about whether a person is generally feminine or masculine, aesthetics are weighted much more heavily than personality. So I'm a little skeptical of Idea #1.

But when I brought that up, I was kinda going off on a tangent. Preferences of masculinity/femininity in other was kinda secondary; I was moreso talking about preferences for masculinity/femininity in oneself. I personally experience both femininity and masculinity as largely random grab-bags of traits, I'm very pick-and-choose with both. For example: I like both sewing and woodworking. I think I'm interested in the both for the same reason: an interest in making stuff. I see these two interests as alike. But one's coded as masculine and one as feminine, and I see that as very arbitrary. I'm then perplexed by people who have an interest in wholesale masculinity or femininity. Like... do your own innate tastes really line up so closely with this random prepackaged collection? But to hear some butch women and very feminine gay men talk about their childhoods, it really looks like for some people, the answer is yes.

And who wouldn't want to march in a Pride parade with these guys? by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's been years, and I'm still waiting for the coherent logical explanation of why incest (and also polyamory/polygamy) is necessarily wrong. I think people just have a gut ick reaction. I've heard people say "inherently abusive", but I've never got a full explanation as to why or how it is. If someone claimed that such relationships have statically lower rates of working out well, that sounds very likely. I would easily believe that. But the government having to sign off on the assertion that your relationship is a good idea is really invasive. For most other topics, there's a difference between weird/messy/ill-advised, and criminal.

I do think there's a decent chance the plural marriage thing might become a public debate at some point, but I doubt incest will, just because it's such a fringe issue. The number of people who are in love with close relatives is so low that I really doubt they'll ever have the necessary mass to make people pay attention.

Sunday Social - open chat! by NutterButterFlutter in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

After trying for months, and 3 rounds of submitting it and having it rejected, I finally got a wikipedia page for Nolan Investigates up https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nolan_Investigates They were so infuriating along the way that I almost gave up, but if I gave up they would win so I persevered even when tehy really testing my patience. It's a small thing, but this is my little fight, and I made it happen.

Guy gets a bit upset about his newly gay relationship, red flags everywhere for Reddit gay transmen brigade by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Around the start of covid, my relationship with my bestfriend since childhood ended. I do think it was unconditional on my end (although I guess not her end). But through that, I realized that unconditional love really has virtually nothing to person in question. If nothing they could do would change anything, it becomes very divorced from them. And then doesn't really have much to do with them anymore; its not about them at that point. And I think that makes it less meaningful.

r/AskGayBros is about to fall by NutterButterFlutter in LGBDropTheT

[–]HelloMomo 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Pour one out for them