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Latebloomerlesbians once again... by peaked2020 in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 20 insightful - 8 fun20 insightful - 7 fun21 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

I love being held by a man, feeling his arms, chest and the nape of his neck.

How can you write this and think you're a lesbian??????????

QT: Can men compete in women's sports if they meet all the same requirements of transwomen?

by FlanJam to /s/GCdebatesQT from self.GCdebatesQT

GC: Is attraction to "trans men", "trans women", etc separate from sexualities? Or is it not separate? And what are the arguments against "trans women are biologically female", "trans men are biologically male", "trans women are less of a man/male", and "trans men are less of a woman/female"? by CuteAsDuck in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 5 insightful - 6 fun5 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

If they're fine with both male and female characteristics they're probably bi. For example, a woman who likes natal woman and transwoman (and doesn't mind the transwoman's male characteristics), they're probably bi.

Definitions by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 6 insightful - 6 fun6 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

I think QT wants to be able to say trans-men/woman are real and valid. Not just real to them, but really really objectively facts-and-logic real. So they redefine words to cement the realness. I guess they think it gives them legitimacy of some kind.

Recently I fell into a youtube hole of watching trans youtubers discussing how to define woman, and its interesting how rarely natal women are invited to the conversation. You'd think natal women should have a say in how to define woman since, even by QT definitions, we make up 99% of women. But I guess that's because the sole purpose of their definition is to find a way to include transwomen, and pretty much disregards natal women.

GC: What are the differences between sex segregation and racial segregation? Why is the former required, while the latter is discriminatory? by Tea_Or_Coffee in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 10 insightful - 5 fun10 insightful - 4 fun11 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Women do have the right to privacy from other women. If a woman peeped on another woman in a single stall changing room, then obviously that's wrong. Locker rooms, however, women expect to have to share with other women. Part of it probably due to practicality, making every locker room individual stalls would require a lot more space. Part of it probably has to do with societal standards, women sharing spaces with other women is the norm and most people seem to be okay with this system.

I don't think I'm saying anything weird, I'm just describing the way things currently are. If you don't think it makes sense you're free to advocate for coed locker rooms, I'm sure some already exist. And who knows, maybe things will go that way in the future. But right now I think most women prefer spaces to be sex segregated.

How do we tell the difference? by Houseplant in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 5 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

I wasn't trying to give a definitive answer, I was just putting my thoughts out there. Sorry, I guess I didn't understand your question. Have a nice day.

How do we tell the difference? by Houseplant in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 6 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

The only indicator I can think of is how well passing they are. Its not perfect but I think it works for bathrooms. That's kinda how it works now, isn't it? If someone is passing well enough no one really minds. Locker rooms are a different story tho, the bar is much higher for locker rooms imo.

QT: Would any of these women be transwomen? (Also GC: Can you think of any other hypothetical tries?) by levoyageur718293 in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 8 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Well that's a new definition of ciswoman, at least I've never seen it before. I typically see cis used as nontrans or gender id matching sex. I get QT isn't a monolith but it'd be nice if they could at least get some basic definitions down. But yeah, the definition that person gave is pretty untenable.

Also, isn't the QT position also bio-essentialist? At least, if they argue for brain-sex, then they're defining woman based on biology as well. So its kinda hypocritical of them to call GC bio-essentialist, no? I guess some don't argue for brain-sex, but many of them seem to entertain it at least.

Both: What do you think of the new Super Straight movement? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 4 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Idk if its gonna get any traction, but at the very least you can say they did some good by raising money for Vancouver Rape Relief. And I do think there is a serious discussion to be had about how some qt push dangerous rhetoric, but that discussion is almost impossible to have.

QT: Doesn't gender-identity only make sense for trans people? Why use it for non-trans people?

by FlanJam to /s/GCdebatesQT from self.GCdebatesQT

All: Why do a lot of trans people insist that being non binary or trans has nothing to to with stereotyoes, and then suddenly it really is about stereotypes? by questioningtw in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 6 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Even if its not about stereotypes in theory, in practice it seems to be all about stereotypes. Just look at how tomboys are always assumed to be trans or nonbinary, because if she isn't perfectly feminine she's not a real woman, right? If they truly believe its not about stereotypes they need to seriously reexamine the way they're not practicing what they're preaching.

How do we tell the difference? by Houseplant in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 8 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

There's no way to tell for sure, I agree.

Definitions by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

You're right, it doesn't make sense. I don't think they've really thought it out. They're just so myopically focused on affirming trans-men/women are really men/women that they come up with any ad hoc reasoning to make it work. It's like they're just saying whatever sounds good in the moment without much thought to how much sense it makes in the big picture.

Anti-Master Doc document circulating on social media, comphet-supporting "lesbians" are losing their minds by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 6 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Did she even write it? I thought she compiled a bunch of tumblr posts together lmao

Why are women always super offended if they're assumed to be lesbians? by RedditHatesLesbians in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 24 insightful - 4 fun24 insightful - 3 fun25 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

For straight women, its probably because "eww, lesbos".

For bi women, maybe its less about getting called lesbian and more about having their bisexuality brushed over? Like I'd be pretty annoyed if someone called me queer instead of lesbian. But it could also just be "eww, lesbos" as well.

Rape by deception and “Passing” by Heimdekledi in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

bruh, you can't be for real 😂

Everything else. 21/7/2021 by BiologyIsReal in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Losing my patience with QT lol. Especially in the fallout of the Wi Spa stuff.

I wonder, has there ever been an honest, good-faith debate between QT and GC? The closest I've seen is this debate between Meghan Murphy and Julie Rei Goldstein, but the format was annoying. Idk why they decided to have a panel ask dumb questions, just them them have a back-and-forth geez.

All: Disclosure and Consent by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

True haha. They'll say its a "dog whistle" or something.

Both: Why does rejection of femininity in South Korea differ so much from how it is rejected in the West? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 9 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

As a kpop fan I enjoyed the video lol

GC: Why do you think it's not biologically essentialist and biologically deterministic to define sex on the basis of gametes and sex organs? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Ahh, well leaving comments doesn't guarantee you'll get good responses lol. I was just talking about what worried19 said about feeling ignored.

How do we tell the difference? by Houseplant in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

My point is: passing partially works. It can keep out self-id abusers and trendy queers. It can not account for trans predators. So no, its not an ideal indicator and I'm not advocating for it as policy. I personally wouldn't care about sharing bathrooms with passing trans people, but I realize a lot of women do care and have good reason to. Hope that clears things up.

How do we tell the difference? by Houseplant in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 9 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

That's true, most people aren't really aware of the issues and what QT actually looks like today.

How do we tell the difference? by Houseplant in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I'll correct myself, people I know and speak to don't really mind, whom are mostly centrists not QT extremists. But yes, you did make some good points I didn't think about. Religious women, breast feeding women, etc need a male-free space. Would be interesting to see a poll on how many women would be okay with transwomen or not.

How do we tell the difference? by Houseplant in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

That's true. Would be interesting to see a poll of how many women would be okay with tranwomen in bathrooms, passing or nonpassing. My guess is more women would be okay with passing transwomen than nonpassing. I wonder how many would say no transwomen at all tho.

How do we tell the difference? by Houseplant in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Well no, its not a perfect indicator. But if a transwoman went thru all the hormones and surgery, I think they're more likely to be genuinely trans and not someone abusing self-id. They could still be a predator of course. I'm just saying passing is the only indicator I can think of that is a tiny bit viable.

GC & QT: What are your views? by PeakingPeachEater in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

1) Neither because I don't fully agree with either side, but I tend to lean more towards GC because I like their take on gender.

2) Used to be casually QT, I just believed what they told me without thinking about it.

3) Basically interchangeable with male and female. I just go with how the average person commonly uses it. Also, I don't mind calling trans people men and women, even if its not technically correct.

4) Males and females who transition due to dysphoria. I guess some people say they don't need dysphoria but I don't understand that.

5) Don't like cis, makes me think of battle droids in star wars lol. Natal and biological are alright, kinda clumsy but its works I guess.

6) In theory, maybe. In some less physically intensive sports, maybe hormones and surgery could level the playing field. But there's also the ethical question of allowing transmen to basically use steroids, and the question of transwomen being socialized as male and having that advantage.

7) Using the wrong pronouns I guess?

8) Gender is the social roles placed on people based on sex. Sex is fun 😏

9) nope

10) n/a

11) Its up to them I guess. Although, QT doesn't like them very much from what I gather.

12) Most people don't have gender identity, or feel gender euphoria, or generally experience gender the way QT does. I wish QT would stop working on that assumption.

[spoilers] Below Her Mouth (2016) — Film of The Week by piylot in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 9 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Its kinda funny, first time I saw this movie I knew it was bad I just watched it for Erika Linder lol. But looking at it now... I'm not really into her anymore. Like, I still think she's pretty and all, but she's not really my type anymore haha.

Lesbians that don't call themselves lesbians by carrotcake in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 14 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Don't beat yourself up, I thought she was lesbian too. I remember she called herself gay on SNL, and a lot of people assumed she meant GAY as in lesbian. This is why not using labels can get confusing, cuz no one knows what she means lmao

Experiences of Lesbian Erasure and Lesbian Invisibility by Skipdip in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 23 insightful - 3 fun23 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

The recent "bi lesbian" thing comes to mind. It still baffles me how anyone can believe in something so stupid. And those people are always claiming "lesbian" historically included bi women and so lesbian is actually an umbrella term... I don't think I need to explain everything wrong with that lol.

Another thing that really gets me is when people absolutely refuse to use the word lesbian. I've seen multiple articles that intentionally replaced the word "lesbian" with "queer". For example there was a website that interviewed a lesbian author about her new book, and every time she said lesbian they replaced it with queer. She rightfully was upset about it but I don't remember if they ever fixed it unfortunately.

[Spoilers Inside] But I'm A Cheerleader (1999) Discussion Thread by piylot in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 13 insightful - 3 fun13 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Its a small thing but I love how blunt they are about the characters' sexualities. A lot of lesbian movies nowadays won't even say the word lesbian, they'll dance around it and keep it vague. Meanwhile in this movie she flat out says "I'm a homosexual" lmao

Both: How would you define my sexual orientation? by theytookourjerbs in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Kinda funny you posted this right before international lesbian day lol

GC: Are men entitled to male-only spaces? by womanual in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

And the ones who havent transitioned and dont pass? What about them?

What do you think about cases of young boys raised as girls, but eventually realizing they are boys?

by FlanJam to /s/GCdebatesQT from self.GCdebatesQT

Alleged Trans incident at upscale LA Spa may have been staged by Heimdekledi in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Now I'm confused. Why did you ask "How would you find evidence for a story about lack of evidence?" if you already have an example of evidence?

Rabbit holes aside, my point is this story is flimsy and probably shouldn't have been publish in this state.

Both: How do you feel about Title IX being changed to protect gender identity instead of biological sex? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Ahh, I see. Well, if I'm being optimistic maybe this will the the final straw for people. I mean, people have to realize there's something wrong when they see a completely untransitioned male person competing in sports with women. You gotta be insane to think otherwise.

Both: How do you feel about Title IX being changed to protect gender identity instead of biological sex? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I don't know much about law but would this extend to sport? I just briefly looked thru the page, and it says protection of gender identity falls under protection of sex. I'm thinking sports is one place where sex discrimination is allowed. Girls teams are allowed to say boys aren't allowed in their sport on the basis of sex. So if protection of gender identity falls under protection of sex, wouldn't girls teams be allowed to turn down transwomen as well?

Both: Why does rejection of femininity in South Korea differ so much from how it is rejected in the West? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Hmm, I don't have a straight answer but I can speculate. I think westerners put a heavier emphasis on individuality, which is probably part of the reason why gender ideology is so popular there. With that mindset, I suppose they find it easier to say "I'm not like other girls I don't want femininity" as opposed to saying "we girls shouldn't be forced to be feminine". Its a more individualistic way of approaching things, focusing on escaping femininity for the individual rather than the group.

And on the flip side, the beauty standards in Korea are absolutely insane, its the plastic surgery capital of the world. So Korean women have a clear enemy to band against and clear goals to advocate for. There's a much greater class consciousness when you can look around and clearly see a particular group of people (women) being oppressed in ways men are not.

Another thought I have is maybe the pendulum is swinging the other way in the west. Western countries have made a lot of progress but maybe now we're on the back swing, as I've noticed lgbt acceptance has dropped slightly and a lot of woke people are saying things that contradict what feminists and lgbt activists have said in the past.

Why does QT hate transmedicalists?

by FlanJam to /s/GCdebatesQT from self.GCdebatesQT

QT, can you define ‘woman’ by Houseplant in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

a woman is someone who enjoys being penetrated (my personal favourite)

so what about gay dudes? yeah, this one is silly lol

eta:

a woman is someone who is distressed by the possession of a male body

Funny enough, i just saw someone use this one. Idk how you'd even begin to show natal women would feel distressed if placed in a male body. Seems like a huge assumption to make.

GC: If two bisexual people are in a "relationship", are they in a "bisexual relationship" because they are bisexual? Would the terms "gay relationship" and "straight relationship" invalidate their bisexuality and be bierasure? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Sounds kinda nitpicky tbh. When someone says "straight relationship" I take it to mean a relationship between a man and woman, not that they are necessarily straight. But hey, if they wanna call it a bi relationship or whatever, more power to them.

Anti-Master Doc document circulating on social media, comphet-supporting "lesbians" are losing their minds by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Ngl, the person who wrote the anti-master doc seems tilted af lol. I mean, the anti-doc already feels like an angry rant, but the author is also spamming her doc all over twitter to anyone who mentions the master doc. I know people are still in quarantine but damn does she have time on her hands lmao.

Lesbian positivity by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Ahh, I've seen that pic before haha. I always notice her nice camera lol. Anyways here's a douyin compilation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zP93dq9Mgw

GC: In a hypothetical world where we can create a 'penis' from stem cells (I am not talking about creating a 'penis' out of a vagina, I'm talking about stem cells) why would the stem-cell grown 'penis' still not be a real penis? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yes I understand it matters to you, you've made two posts about it after all lol. I was asking why does it matter, and what point are you trying to make? Tbh I have no idea what you're getting at...

“I’m a slut and love to fuck men, but I identify as a lesbian” by peaked2020 in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 20 insightful - 2 fun20 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Interesting how its never the other way around. You never see lesbians saying "I'm bi but I don't like men".

I’m just really glad this place exists by emilyprentiss in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, its gets kinda lonely when all my friends are boy-crazy and I'm just here like 😑

That was quick by FineIWillDoItMyself in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I saw a post about licking pussy just now. The first comment underneath was talking about blowjobs and licking balls 🤢🤢🤢

QT: What's the difference between a man who says he is a woman & a man who doesn't say he is a woman? by SnowAssMan in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I'm not QT, but I tend to think an "authentic" trans person has dysphoria and is transitioning to alleviate said dysphoria. But if all they do is say they are a woman, then there's nothing I can do with that. They're effectively the same as any other man from my outside perspective.

After seeing so many questions and ponderings on why there are no lesbian bars or clubs, I've done some extensive research and think I found the honest reason why by SailorMoon2020 in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

i thought this was gonna be serious lmao. Kate Mckinnon is gr8 tho I love her 🧡

[Spoilers] D.E.B.S. (2004) — Film of the Week by piylot in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

A remake would be awesome! They gotta cast Kate Mckinnon somehow, even just a side character lol

[Spoilers] D.E.B.S. (2004) — Film of the Week by piylot in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I have a soft spot for this movie because of nostalgia and also I kinda love the cheesy low budget early 2000s charlies angels vibe it has. Wish they leaned more into the spy thriller part of it tho.

[Spoilers] D.E.B.S. (2004) — Film of the Week by piylot in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

For sure, no idea why they didn't make them all lesbians. Might as well go all out lol

What do these young lesbians think womanhood even is? by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I totally agree. Not to mention its hard to relate to straight/bi women sometimes, which makes me feel distanced from the majority of women. So I can sympathize with why some lesbians feel that way.

Also, can't say I'm surprised she's actually bi...

Getting ready for spooky season. What are your favorite horror movies? by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

The Ju-On series aka the Grudge. The japanese ones of course, the american remakes were pretty meh despite having the same director.

Gekijōban Zero aka Fatal Frame: The Movie is also pretty interesting and has a minor lesbian subplot. It kinda plays into the "they're only lesbians because they're in an all girls school" trope, so that's pretty meh. It has an interesting story otherwise tho.

A day in the life of Alex a celebrity PA, who incidentally, tangentially, only apropos, is a lesbian by Innisfree in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

lmao, somehow i can imagine ellen page doing something like that 😂

A day in the life of Alex a celebrity PA, who incidentally, tangentially, only apropos, is a lesbian by Innisfree in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

i wanna know what ellen page's play on climate change is like lmao 😂

I am so fucking sick of bisexual women doing this shit by peaked2020 in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

lol, the vagina fetishist thing is so weird because like, what's wrong with liking pussy? Shaming lesbians for liking pussy is pretty homophobic of them 🤷

Anyone else get really sick of heterosexual culture sometimes? by Depressed in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yup, I've stopped watching movies because of boring het subplots lol. But at least with movies I can turn it off. Irl, hearing my friends gush over boys is just exhausting.

Why is GC critical of how women celebrate their sexuality? by Genderbender in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 16 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

With all due respect I think you're misreading what I wrote. Like I said, idk much about cardi b. I don't dislike her music or video because I've never seen it. Nor am I criticizing her or accusing her of sexualizing herself. I'm speaking very generally about the broader topic. I'm just saying its more complicated than simply saying "expressing sexuality is bad" OR "you can't criticize her choice because its her choice". As I mentioned in my previous post, finding a balance is tricky and there's no easy answer.

But since you brought it up, I do wanna speak briefly about this point:

It's not empowering to you, but it's empowering to her and that's what matters. ... Only she can decide what's empowering to herself.

Perhaps we're speaking past each other because we seem to be using "empowering" differently. When I say empowering, I'm talking about something that gives you more agency in society. For example, having an education is typically empowering because it gives you more opportunities. So under my usage of empowering, what's empowering to me IS empowering to others as well. Because things that are empowering are objectively so. The way you're using "empowering" seems to be different, which is fine, but I think perhaps that's where some confusion is coming from.

Movie suggestion thread: by piylot in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

yes or no (2010)

Would anyone be interested in a weekly film discussion thread? by piylot in Lesbians

[–]FlanJam 0 insightful - 2 fun0 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Depends on the movie but yeah I'd be interested

ALL: Can trans folks be TERFs? by Elly in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 20 insightful - 2 fun20 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

"Terf" is tossed around so haphazardly its hard to take it seriously anymore. Even some of my friends, who aren't involved in the discourse AT ALL, were called terfs for making lesbian jokes. Its ridiculous. And I suspect it makes it difficult to talk about real transphobia when there's so many false positives.

How much do we owe to strangers? by Houseplant in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it is dangerous to not voice one's discomfort and fears. It can lead to very dangerous and abusive situations. And the fact that there is backlash for speaking up is really concerning to me.

"FLEURISTA" presents: Thank You- A Retrospective of Commonality, Connection & Changing Minds (Art exhibition featuring GCdebatesQT) by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

late reply but congrats!

I heard Kathleen Stock on the radio saying she had an affinity with the masculine. What did she mean by this? by theory_of_this in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sounds like she was pointing out that she isn't completely oblivious to trans people's idea of gender identity, that she does have a inkling of understanding of what they are talking about.

Or does she view it as independent of sex?

She says earlier in the interview that gender identity is different from sex, and that not everyone has a gender identity.

About the origins of the word "gender" by BiologyIsReal in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And I think transactivists have took full advantage of the confusion between sex and gender.

Oh for sure. The way they're retroactively redefining sex-based things as gender-based is so sneaky. If they were honest about wanting to changed things to be gender-based, that'd be fair game. But claiming things were always gender-based is just deceitful.

On the backlash to the BBC article by dilsency in LGBDropTheT

[–]FlanJam 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've noticed a lot of the backlash is aimed at criticizing Lily Cade, which is pointless because her interview was only a small part of the article. Its probably because there isn't anything else in the article they can criticize, its mainly just interviews and reporting on facts. Its funny because they claim the article is so terrible yet they can't even criticize it properly lol

Tra/qt how is ‘examine your genital preference’ not homosexual conversion therapy? by Houseplant in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm kinda surprised trans activists haven't tried to make a "genital preference deconstruction workshop" yet. They did make the cotton ceiling workshop after all.

All: Is gender identity falsifiable? If so, what would disprove it? by Penultimate_Penance in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't think its falsifiable because all we have to show for it is people's personal testimonies. And it seems to be exclusively trans and QT aligned people's testimonies, so that doesn't really help. I have no problem believing trans people feel a certain way about their gender, but I don't think we can say anything about where that feeling comes from or if it means anything. And we certainly can't say everyone has a gender identity because some people clearly don't.

GC: What do you think about the concept of peaking people? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same here. Used to be QT but as I learned more about what they actually believe, I could no longer accept it. I wonder if their beliefs are even sustainable in the long run. I mean, they can't even agree on a definition of woman. Not to mention they're just plain wrong about biological facts.

Everything else! by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I used to watch a lot of anime lol. Haven't been keeping up lately but I still enjoy it.

Yeah there is quite a bit of filler. I think the manga wasn't completed at the time, so filler was used to kill time while they wait for the manga to progress the main plot. Its pretty good tho it you can get past that.

GC: What do you think about the concept of peaking people? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Imo QT probably peaks more people than GC does. A lot of GC seem to be former QT who "peaked" because QT was too extreme for them. Funny how that is.

Everything else! by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh nice, didn't know anyone here watched anime lol. I've never seen MHA tho, Naruto was the only shounen i got into and I never finished it. 500 episodes is too much for me haha

Everything else! by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Congrats on the baby!!

Been getting into asian dramas and variety shows lately (not squid game lol). I'm not huge into rap, but Chinese rappers are pretty awesome haha

GC: Are men entitled to male-only spaces? by womanual in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

But are they female?

GC: Are men entitled to male-only spaces? by womanual in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, for example I've heard stories of gay men bathhouses not wanting transmen in those spaces. Those spaces are often sexual in nature so I totally get why they wouldn't want a female there.

Both: What do you think about the arrest in the Wi Spa transgender incident? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Glad they caught the creep, I wonder how things will play out in court, and what it means for self-id laws moving forward.

The reaction from QT writers and activists who were defending this incident is disappointing but not surprising. They should be ashamed.

For GC: what makes someone trans? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

(im not GC but close enough)

I think its up to the trans community to decide the classification for being trans. There doesn't seem to be a strong consensus so far, so I'll just take people at their word. If they say they're trans, I'll call them trans.

For people who think bathrooms should be segregated by birth sex, are passing trans men entitled to use the women's bathroom? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

True, true. They rather be on the offensive, poking holes in other people's ideas. But rarely do they ever flesh out and defend their own position. I still don't understand how they can account for things like misogyny and patriarchy if sex doesn't matter to them.

For people who think bathrooms should be segregated by birth sex, are passing trans men entitled to use the women's bathroom? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, that's a better way to say it

For people who think bathrooms should be segregated by birth sex, are passing trans men entitled to use the women's bathroom? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh yea, I remember a survey like that. QT uses it a lot to 'prove' everyone is transphobic. But yeah, even without that, i think its a pretty safe assumption to make? If people aren't content with single sex spaces you'd expect to see a lot of activists advocating for unisex only spaces. But we don't see that at all.

Last time genderbend asked me a question, I asked her to respond to my question first and she did. So I give her the benefit of the doubt that she's an honest interlocutor. But yes, it honestly does feel like a rhetorical strategy rather than a substantive point.

QT: Can men compete in women's sports if they meet all the same requirements of transwomen? by FlanJam in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for playing along with the hypothetical, I think this is the point that a bullet needs to be bit. Which is, men's and women's sports no longer exist. Instead we have a high testosterone category, and a low testosterone category. And athletes are allowed to undergo hormone treatments to participate in whatever category they want. Perhaps that's a bullet some QT would be willing to bite, but to me it sounds bizarre. At that point, why doesn't every athlete take hormones to reach the optimal, maximum allowable testosterone level? I feel like if everyone is taking hormones, it kinda goes against the spirit of sporting competitions.

If so then please explain to me what sport is to you.

I'm not a huge sports person, but I guess I'd consider it a competition of skill, physical ability, and sportsmanship (or something like that).

For people who think bathrooms should be segregated by birth sex, are passing trans men entitled to use the women's bathroom? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Don't take this the wrong way but I've noticed you like to answer back with questions that don't really address the main point? Perhaps this thread has run its course, which is fine. No I dont have a survey of how many people are happy with single sex restrooms, its just an assumption but its doesn't change the argument. Which is, single sex restrooms provide safety & privacy, and no one is really pushing to remove them, so it seems rather destructive to get rid of them.

QT: Can men compete in women's sports if they meet all the same requirements of transwomen? by FlanJam in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm glad someone understands lol

QT: Can men compete in women's sports if they meet all the same requirements of transwomen? by FlanJam in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"for sporting purposes" sounds so bizarre lol. Can I identify as male for business purposes? I would prefer to be on the male end of the wage gap lmao.

QT: Can men compete in women's sports if they meet all the same requirements of transwomen? by FlanJam in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Isn't that just arguing semantics?

Do you think the difference between transwomen and men-who-take-hormones is semantics?

So if a person fulfills all requirements to compete fairly why shouldn't they enter?

Idk, I'm not giving an opinion I'm just asking questions. I think this scenario is a tricky spot for QT because they'll have to concede something no matter how they answer. So I'm curious how they will reason thru it.

Would it still be "women's hard-fought-for sports leagues? No. But that doesn't matter from a purely competitive viewpoint.

So it would be the end of women's sports? Doesn't that sound kinda bad to you?

QT: Can men compete in women's sports if they meet all the same requirements of transwomen? by FlanJam in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If it’s not natural no guy would do that so it seems a pretty pointless question.

Well yeah its not a question pertaining to real life, but rather a hypothetical to probe people's reasoning. I wanted to see how QT justifies their beliefs, because I think almost any answer to this will require biting a bullet of some sort.

But if you don't think transwomen should compete then I guess this whole hypothetical falls apart lol

QT: Can men compete in women's sports if they meet all the same requirements of transwomen? by FlanJam in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah it is far fetched, its a hypothetical to see people's reasoning. I guess its kinda like a reductio ad absurdum (I think I'm using that correctly).

So you say he should be allowed? You are okay with men (not transwoman, but man identifying males) in women's sports? Don't you find that inappropriate, to allow men into women's hard-fought-for sports leagues?

For people who think bathrooms should be segregated by birth sex, are passing trans men entitled to use the women's bathroom? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think the burden is on you to say why we should take them away. Single sex restrooms are already the norm, most people are happy with them, and there isn't any issue with them that couldn't be solved with the addition of a 3rd unisex room. So to take them away is a really extreme move to make, you'd need a very compelling reason to do so. And I don't think saying there's no need for them is a strong enough reason even if it were true.

But I do think there are good reasons for single sex spaces, mainly safety and privacy. I don't have the source on hand but I read a statistic somewhere that women are more likely to be harassed in unisex bathrooms compared to women's restrooms. And anecdotally I've heard so many stories of women using the restroom to get away from creepy dudes. Not to mention issues with spycams, peeping toms, or just weird pervs getting off to women pissing.

And on the privacy side, periods are so stigmatized in many cultures. Dealing with that around men only makes it more difficult. Some men get pissy just at the sight of a pad or tampon. Or how about religious women who need to fix their hijab? Or what about women who simply don't wanna be around men when she feels vulnerable? A thin 1 inch stall wall between you and a man isn't very comforting.

But the main point is, why take them away if most people are happy with them, and there's no problem with them? It just seems needlessly destructive to me.

For people who think bathrooms should be segregated by birth sex, are passing trans men entitled to use the women's bathroom? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I still believe all public facilities should be unisex

Why not both? Have women's, men's, and unisex. That way people have a choice of which they are most comfortable with.

For people who think bathrooms should be segregated by birth sex, are passing trans men entitled to use the women's bathroom? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, because passing as male makes it very difficult to use the women's room. For someone who passes extremely well, it becomes so impractical they virtually can't use the women's room anymore. Unless they want to constantly get complaints directed towards them every time they pee.

But all this is a non-issue, because transmen who pass very well will want to use the men's room anyways.

For people who think bathrooms should be segregated by birth sex, are passing trans men entitled to use the women's bathroom? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Of course not.

edit: I dont think I need to explain further, its pretty obvious yes?

For people who think bathrooms should be segregated by birth sex, are passing trans men entitled to use the women's bathroom? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm just saying, in terms of real life practicality, it would be difficult for a passing transman to use the women's restroom.

But technically speaking, that is correct, not all females have that right. For example, women in California don't have that right, as demonstrated by the Wi Spa incident some weeks ago.

For people who think bathrooms should be segregated by birth sex, are passing trans men entitled to use the women's bathroom? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They'd probably get kicked out for appearing like a male in the women's room. So in a sense, they effectively forfeit access to the women's room once they transition.

I dunno what conservatives or radfems would think or do.

How can you tell if someone is expressing their actual gender identity? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There's no way to know for sure. But I think if someone goes thru all the trouble of transitioning medically, its more likely that they are being honest (but even then you can't be sure, we know detransition is a thing). This isn't a problem for my position because if someone has a personal sense of "gender identity", then that's their personal thing. It shouldn't be imposed on people around them.

It does seem to be a problem for QT because they put a lot of weight on gender identity. So there's technically nothing stopping someone from manipulating "gender identity" for malicious reasons.

Everything Else, 14/08/2021 by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh how exciting, congrats haha XD

Are you religious? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

  1. buddhist
  2. -
  3. not at all
  4. Yes, both QT and religious apologists often appeal to highly abstract philosophy to justify their beliefs. Its the only ground they have to stand on since their beliefs are so contrary to what we see in reality.

All: "Trans women" at the Olympics by BiologyIsReal in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Since Hubbard lost it'll probably fly under the radar and nothing will happen. The general public needs to open their eyes for there to be any real push back.

All: What are some non-trans related issues that you would like others to be more aware of? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Since it recently came to my attention, the anti-feminist sentiment in Korea is scary. 58% of men in their 20s oppose feminism in Korea. I think its a backlash against how feminism in Korea has become more outspoken in recent years.

Also, just gay rights in general. People think gay issues have been solved but its still legal in many states to fire someone for being gay. And outside the western english speaking world, many countries still have a long way to go for gay rights.

What is gender nonconformity to you? by Houseplant in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for the response. So they would be gender-id-conforming but gender-role-nonconforming. I see what you're saying. Gender is used in so many different ways its hard to know what people mean sometimes.

What is gender nonconformity to you? by Houseplant in GCdebatesQT

[–]FlanJam 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Would you say a butch lesbian, who identifies as a woman, is completely gender-conforming because she id's as a woman? What about a transman who identifies as a man?

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