What's wrong with being a gold star lesbian?

FlanJam · 2020-09-15T09:45:02+00:00

I've always thought goldstar was just harmless lesbian slang, and not even that serious. But a lot of people on the internet seem to have an aversion to it. Seems like they're afraid of this imaginary goldstar strawman that acts superior to everyone else for being "pure", but no one actually acts like that! I think the negativity towards goldstar is symptomatic of a bigger problem of how lesbians are always villainized and scapegoated.

FlanJam · 2020-08-30T19:13:14+00:00

Why are bi and trans people so obsessed with getting lesbians to date them? Its like these people get rejected by a few lesbians and turn it into a whole crusade. Its creepy and incel-ish, just move on and find someone else to date ffs

FlanJam · 2020-08-24T20:29:50+00:00

For straight women, its probably because "eww, lesbos".

For bi women, maybe its less about getting called lesbian and more about having their bisexuality brushed over? Like I'd be pretty annoyed if someone called me queer instead of lesbian. But it could also just be "eww, lesbos" as well.

FlanJam · 2020-08-24T10:52:43+00:00

The recent "bi lesbian" thing comes to mind. It still baffles me how anyone can believe in something so stupid. And those people are always claiming "lesbian" historically included bi women and so lesbian is actually an umbrella term... I don't think I need to explain everything wrong with that lol.

Another thing that really gets me is when people absolutely refuse to use the word lesbian. I've seen multiple articles that intentionally replaced the word "lesbian" with "queer". For example there was a website that interviewed a lesbian author about her new book, and every time she said lesbian they replaced it with queer. She rightfully was upset about it but I don't remember if they ever fixed it unfortunately.

FlanJam · 2020-11-18T05:34:40+00:00

I love being held by a man, feeling his arms, chest and the nape of his neck.

How can you write this and think you're a lesbian??????????

FlanJam · 2020-10-30T22:42:17+00:00

Interesting how its never the other way around. You never see lesbians saying "I'm bi but I don't like men".

FlanJam · 2020-07-11T07:44:58+00:00

"Terf" is tossed around so haphazardly its hard to take it seriously anymore. Even some of my friends, who aren't involved in the discourse AT ALL, were called terfs for making lesbian jokes. Its ridiculous. And I suspect it makes it difficult to talk about real transphobia when there's so many false positives.

FlanJam · 2021-06-18T03:05:01+00:00

"academic twitter" well there's the problem. A lot of QT seem to be enthralled by highly abstract and esoteric philosophy and gender studies. Problem is they take these things uncritically and end up parroting a bunch of weird ideas with no coherency. Not to mention its kinda pretentious.

FlanJam · 2021-06-05T23:22:08+00:00

My (rudimentary) understanding is that something is bio essentialist if it is wrongly attributed to biology/sex. So saying girls are innately less intelligent is bio essentialist because intelligence has nothing to do with one's sex. But saying girls have ovaries is NOT bio essentialist because females have ovaries by definition.

I do find it kinda ironic, for as much as QT complains about bio essentialism, they're the ones that usually put forth the female/male brain thing. That seems incredibly bio essentialist to me. Also the gender euphoria thing seems kinda bio essentialist, to say females should feel euphoric for performing feminine actions. As if we're somehow predisposed towards those actions.

If male and female is defined on the bases of sex organs and gametes, then why is a male still a male and not sexless or less of a male after removing all his sex organs? Why is a female still a female and not sexless or less of a female after removing all her sex organs?

A bicycle has two wheels, if we remove one does it become a unicycle? Of course not, we can still recognize it as a bicycle that is missing one wheel. Just because something isn't in its most textbook, typical, ideal form doesn't mean it isn't that thing. Not to get pretentious but there's the concept of a "platonic ideal", where we can imagine the ideal form of something. But those ideal forms never actually exist. For example, we can imagine an ideal apple in our imagination, perfectly red and round. Apples in real life might be less red, or kinda lopsided. No apple in real life can match the ideal apple in our heads, but we still recognize those apples.

FlanJam · 2020-08-20T03:48:40+00:00

With all due respect I think you're misreading what I wrote. Like I said, idk much about cardi b. I don't dislike her music or video because I've never seen it. Nor am I criticizing her or accusing her of sexualizing herself. I'm speaking very generally about the broader topic. I'm just saying its more complicated than simply saying "expressing sexuality is bad" OR "you can't criticize her choice because its her choice". As I mentioned in my previous post, finding a balance is tricky and there's no easy answer.

But since you brought it up, I do wanna speak briefly about this point:

It's not empowering to you, but it's empowering to her and that's what matters. ... Only she can decide what's empowering to herself.

Perhaps we're speaking past each other because we seem to be using "empowering" differently. When I say empowering, I'm talking about something that gives you more agency in society. For example, having an education is typically empowering because it gives you more opportunities. So under my usage of empowering, what's empowering to me IS empowering to others as well. Because things that are empowering are objectively so. The way you're using "empowering" seems to be different, which is fine, but I think perhaps that's where some confusion is coming from.

FlanJam · 2021-05-14T01:48:50+00:00

A lot of comments already mentioned safety reasons, so I'll just mention privacy and dignity reasons. Most women wouldn't want to strip naked in front of random men in a locker room, that's just the kind of society we live in, we're not nudists lol. Women have a right to privacy and NOT being peeped on by men.

FlanJam · 2020-10-30T22:25:08+00:00

that's being bi with a preference.... . .

FlanJam · 2020-09-23T07:49:03+00:00

To give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she's talking about being detached from the stereotypical idea of womanhood (ie heterosexual, feminine, etc). But idk its hard to tell what she really means.

FlanJam · 2020-09-12T03:21:51+00:00

I'm kinda on the fence here because idk if I'd prefer no representation over bad representation. For example, the L word (the OG series not the new one) is trashy but I kinda love it in a so-bad-its-good kind of way. But there are other cases where I'd prefer to not have a lesbian character at all. So I guess it really depends on how bad the representation is. Obviously not everything can be a masterpiece, so mundane but serviceable representation is acceptable to me.

FlanJam · 2021-07-09T02:56:24+00:00

Any half-decent human being would wanna be sure their partner is comfortable and ready before taking the next step. So yes, trans people should disclose if they care about their partners.

FlanJam · 2021-06-29T09:49:49+00:00

That dailydot article is ridiculous. How can anyone defend this shit? There were underage girls present for fucks sake. Its a shame this story will probably get brushed under the rug, more people need to be aware.

FlanJam · 2020-10-30T22:22:05+00:00

I thought it was a joke at first but people are taking it too seriously now. Seems kinda boring to follow predefined roles like that...

FlanJam · 2020-08-27T07:07:51+00:00

Don't beat yourself up, I thought she was lesbian too. I remember she called herself gay on SNL, and a lot of people assumed she meant GAY as in lesbian. This is why not using labels can get confusing, cuz no one knows what she means lmao

FlanJam · 2021-07-15T23:47:31+00:00

I think those sciencey questions are best suited for biologists. GC would probably have more to say about the social implications of that technology (if it existed), but the science part should be left to scientists.

That there might be neopenises that look, feel and function exactly like natural penises? Or neovaginas that look, feel and function exactly like natural vaginas?

QT believes we've already achieved this. Apparently even a gynecologist can't tell the difference lol.

Is there a reason why a neopenis that looks, feels, and functions exactly like natural penises can not be considered a real penis? Or a neovagina that looks, feels, and functions exactly like natural vaginas can not be considered a real vagina? Despite doing the same things? Wouldn't a laboratory meat that tastes, looks, feels and functions exactly like natural meat be considered real meat?

If we go by dictionary definitions, something's "realness" depends on whether it is natural or artificial. Neo-genitals and laboratory meat are man-made, they are artificial. So they are not "real" by definition. They could appear and function identically to the real thing, but the fact they are artificially produced is what makes them, well, artificial.

FlanJam · 2021-07-05T06:08:24+00:00

Update on the incident (dont wanna make a whole new thread so I'll post here):

tl;dr People protested Wi Spa after the incident. Antifa group accused them of transphobia and attacked them. Police stepped in to break it up.

FlanJam · 2021-06-30T22:42:32+00:00

In many cultures its okay for women to be naked around other women. That's why spas and bathhouses have a designated women's section.

But that's diverting from my original point. Trans people are welcome to use the spa, just use the co-ed section. Meanwhile women who don't want to be around male bodies can use the women's section. The whole issue can easily be avoided if people just used the designated sections, I don't see why this is so hard.

FlanJam · 2021-06-14T00:25:35+00:00

I don't think people can choose to be gay. There is something to be said about how patriarchy negatively influences hetero relationships, but imo "going gay" isn't a solution, its not even an option on the table.

FlanJam · 2021-05-19T01:27:41+00:00

Transmen aren't as loud and don't directly impact women as much as transwomen do. But I mean, I don't think transmen are above criticism, I've seen some of them being quite misogynistic and homophobic. Especially the ones who formerly id as lesbians, some of them have a strange vitriol towards the lesbian community. (Obligatory: not all transmen, obviously)

FlanJam · 2020-09-16T13:05:00+00:00

I was wondering where that post went. For what its worth, I thought your post was fine. It shouldn't have been deleted imo. Hope the mods will sort it out.

FlanJam · 2020-09-16T01:54:44+00:00

ikr! I almost never talk about my dating history in regards to men (or lack thereof) because if I do people will give me strange looks or give me a lecture about how goldstars are bad. Its almost like they feel threatened by the fact that I've never slept with men, it'd be funny if it wasn't so annoying lol

FlanJam · 2020-08-18T08:19:58+00:00

Its a small thing but I love how blunt they are about the characters' sexualities. A lot of lesbian movies nowadays won't even say the word lesbian, they'll dance around it and keep it vague. Meanwhile in this movie she flat out says "I'm a homosexual" lmao

FlanJam · 2021-07-16T22:02:08+00:00

Real literally means 'not artificial'. So if its artificial, its not real.

According to Merriam Webster:

: not artificial, fraudulent, or illusory : genuine

FlanJam · 2021-07-10T04:33:59+00:00

Because people don’t have the right to have their preferences followed without first disclosing those preferences.

I dont want to dogpile, but it needs to be said: Lack of a 'NO' is not a 'YES"

edit for clarity

FlanJam · 2021-07-01T02:51:00+00:00

Well that's a pretty fringe view. I don't think the vast majority of people would want that.

FlanJam · 2021-07-01T00:19:06+00:00

That's not how sections work...

FlanJam · 2021-06-30T19:50:17+00:00

There is literally a co-ed area why can't trans people use that? The women's section is there for women who don't want to see male bodies. And young girls should absolutely NOT be subjected to a strangers dick, this shouldn't be controversial.

FlanJam · 2021-06-18T02:42:39+00:00

Thanks for the link. I didn't even realize dorms and showers were opened to self-id. Really hope there hasn't been any incidents.

FlanJam · 2021-06-11T05:47:14+00:00

Hmm, I don't have a straight answer but I can speculate. I think westerners put a heavier emphasis on individuality, which is probably part of the reason why gender ideology is so popular there. With that mindset, I suppose they find it easier to say "I'm not like other girls I don't want femininity" as opposed to saying "we girls shouldn't be forced to be feminine". Its a more individualistic way of approaching things, focusing on escaping femininity for the individual rather than the group.

And on the flip side, the beauty standards in Korea are absolutely insane, its the plastic surgery capital of the world. So Korean women have a clear enemy to band against and clear goals to advocate for. There's a much greater class consciousness when you can look around and clearly see a particular group of people (women) being oppressed in ways men are not.

Another thought I have is maybe the pendulum is swinging the other way in the west. Western countries have made a lot of progress but maybe now we're on the back swing, as I've noticed lgbt acceptance has dropped slightly and a lot of woke people are saying things that contradict what feminists and lgbt activists have said in the past.

FlanJam · 2021-06-06T01:17:56+00:00

I think people would be more receptive if you even left small comments like "I never thought of that before" or "I agree, thanks for the response". Those may seem like pointless filler comments, but they let others know you're taking the time to listen and engage. Otherwise, it kinda feels like we're talking to a brick wall when we leave comments and there's no reciprocation.

FlanJam · 2021-05-26T10:07:37+00:00

Wow I never heard of that before. I took a glance at the wiki and even if you give it a charitable interpretation it sounds kinda useless. I don't see how any of that actually accomplishes anything? I feel like a lot these kinds of things are too obsessed with sounding nice and being politically correct, but lacks concrete meaningful activism.

FlanJam · 2020-08-19T22:33:44+00:00

Idk anything about cardi b so I'm missing a lot of context here just fyi. But in general, I think women often face this dilemma between freedom of individual expression vs doing things that aren't necessarily good for us because it has become ingrained by society. When it comes to sexuality, where's the line between self expression and objectification? Just because a woman chooses to sexualize herself, doesn't mean its empowering. Women choose things that are bad for us all the time, we've been taught by society to do this. But by the same token, restricting women from expressing ourselves isn't very feminist either. Its tough to find the right balance, but I don't think going hard in either direction is a great idea.

I'll also add that, as a lesbian, I'm kinda lucky in this regard. Because lesbian sexuality excludes men, I think its theoretically easier for us to express our sexuality without objectifying ourselves to men. One of the silver linings to being a lesbian I guess lol.

FlanJam · 2021-07-22T05:31:48+00:00

Losing my patience with QT lol. Especially in the fallout of the Wi Spa stuff.

I wonder, has there ever been an honest, good-faith debate between QT and GC? The closest I've seen is this debate between Meghan Murphy and Julie Rei Goldstein, but the format was annoying. Idk why they decided to have a panel ask dumb questions, just them them have a back-and-forth geez.

FlanJam · 2021-07-20T07:47:38+00:00

How terrible, I feel so bad for him and the abuse he went thru. I agree QT should just let him rest in peace. In context this case is nothing like I've heard them describe, and doesn't prove anything they've claimed. Maybe they have another case they are referring to, but this one doesn't do anything for QT.

FlanJam · 2021-07-19T02:40:30+00:00

The most charitable explanation for gender-identity I can give is some internal feeling trans people have that makes them desire to be the opposite sex. But many QT wouldn't accept that because it'd be transmed or something. Also, they would claim everyone has gender-identity, but conveniently only trans people are aware of it.

The other common explanation for gender-identity is some nebulous internal soul thing that I can't steel man to save my life lol

FlanJam · 2021-07-19T01:59:30+00:00

Not all of them will admit this, but some will admit they're just using gender stereotypes to imitate their desired sex as much as they can. That's the most honest, charitable explanation imo.

FlanJam · 2021-07-18T21:52:25+00:00

If I could steel-man QT, they'd probably made a distinction between gender-identity and gender-expression. The gender-expression can change over culture and time. The gender-identity is the innate part.

FlanJam · 2021-07-16T08:08:01+00:00

I remember at the beginning of the pandemic, QT made themselves look bad when they complained life-saving surgeries were prioritized over trans surgeries. But that was a brief passing moment. Other than that, I dunno if one side really benefited over the other due to the pandemic. At least, none that I've noticed.

FlanJam · 2021-07-09T03:09:43+00:00

You could find evidence that the woman who filmed the original video faked it. Or get her to admit it's fake. Or maybe collect testimony from women at the spa saying there was no trans people there.

I've never heard of the blade before, but the way this article was written does not inspire confidence.

FlanJam · 2021-07-09T02:38:12+00:00

I hope it was fake. But the source seems bias, and the (lack of) evidence they provide is unconvincing. The fact that they published this article at all is kinda weird, if they really think its fake they should keep digging instead of publishing prematurely.

But even if it were fake, it doesn't change the core issue. And the violence from the protests is still disturbing.

FlanJam · 2021-07-06T19:32:11+00:00

I think I saw that, or at least I saw something similar. A 'feminist' writer said something like its rude for the girls to stare at the person's penis, as if the trans person was the victim in this scenario. Absolutely backwards bonkers, I feel like I'm in an episode of the twilight zone.

FlanJam · 2021-07-06T04:28:53+00:00

Yeah they were really hard to watch, the violence is genuinely disturbing. I don't even know if its possible to reason with these people anymore.

FlanJam · 2021-07-03T09:41:28+00:00

more lurkers than i expected, intersesting

FlanJam · 2021-07-01T00:05:48+00:00

Again, you're diverting from the original point. Why can't trans people use the co-ed section? Seems like a fair solution that would satisfy everyone.

FlanJam · 2021-06-20T08:15:34+00:00

I wonder if QT's rhetoric has backfired on them. They really push the idea that trans people are the most oppressed class to ever exist, like they're the undefeated champions of the oppression olympics. Of course trans people don't have it easy, but QT exaggerates it to a cartoonish degree. And when they repeat this rhetoric over and over again, maybe they've taken it to heart and really believe the entire world hates them and is out to get them. They've put themselves into a really unhealthy state of mind, so its not hard to see how they can radicalize into gender ideology and become militant.

FlanJam · 2021-06-20T06:42:33+00:00

I've also heard someone suggest relabeling men's sports to an open sports category where anyone can compete, and keeping women's sports exclusively for (natal) women. Interesting idea but I doubt QT will take it. They'd just argue transwomen ARE women and belong in the women category. Its clear they don't care about fairness at all, since many will argue transwomen should be allowed even if they haven't taken any hormones whatsoever. Affirming gender identity takes top priority for them.

I'd also have some qualms about calling it an open category, because it makes it sounds like the default category. Whilst women's sport would seem like a side category. Men's sport is already prioritized and treated as default, but such a relabeling may further enforce that.

FlanJam · 2021-06-17T04:05:23+00:00

Ahh, I see. Well, if I'm being optimistic maybe this will the the final straw for people. I mean, people have to realize there's something wrong when they see a completely untransitioned male person competing in sports with women. You gotta be insane to think otherwise.

FlanJam · 2021-06-11T08:33:21+00:00

It's like all the progress that second-wave feminists made is being thrown away in favor of these new beliefs.

Yeah its almost unbelievable how they've done a complete 180, its like we're in the twlight zone and everything is backwards. And its scary because a lot of the things they're saying is so dangerous. Like you mentioned, the kink, the prostitution, the objectification and sexualization. I really hope things start to swing back the other way.

FlanJam · 2021-05-26T10:18:08+00:00

My favorite is when they say since you can't tell someone's chromosomes/genitals by looking at them, attraction to sex doesn't actually exist. Its just so silly and pedantic, idk how to even respond to something like that.

FlanJam · 2021-05-25T08:21:07+00:00

From what I've seen, many of them go with everyone is pansexual. I've even heard some say sexuality is a social construct, and if we abolished gender, sexuality wouldn't exist either. And funny enough, they use the same examples for their arguments. According to them, since you can't tell someone's gender, then you could be attracted to anyone, hence you must be pan. If a lesbian liked ellen page before she became elliot, she must really be bi. Not all of them think this way of course, but it seems somewhat common? Not totally uncommon at least.

FlanJam · 2020-08-25T02:30:18+00:00

Crazy how they sound just like classic homophobes.

FlanJam · 2020-08-25T02:19:02+00:00

Part of the reason might be because of how people are pushing ~fluidity~ and bisexuality as the coolest and most progressive sexuality. Lesbian is looked down on as stogy and close-minded. I've even seen think pieces about how we don't need "lesbian" anymore smh.

I find it both ironic and sad that so many lesbians are averse to calling themselves lesbians, meanwhile a bunch of bi women are trying to "reclaim" lesbian for themselves.

FlanJam · 2022-02-08T23:42:30+00:00

I think it is dangerous to not voice one's discomfort and fears. It can lead to very dangerous and abusive situations. And the fact that there is backlash for speaking up is really concerning to me.

FlanJam · 2021-07-23T07:53:58+00:00

I think of it as a form of self expression, and I wouldn't mind it so much if that was all it was. The problem is they get it all mixed up with gender stereotypes, and then try to force their beliefs on everyone else. I find it especially obnoxious when they try to force it upon other cultures who don't see gender in the same way. But I guess Americans forcing their beliefs on everyone else isn't anything new.

Do you think there are differences between them and people who identify as the opposite sex or not?

People who identify as the opposite sex often have dysphoria or something causing them distress with their bodies. Hence its a more serious issue for them. For nonbinary people, its literally just a label.

What do you think of neo-pronouns?

Impractical. Even some of the most staunch QT people I've seen think they are impractical.

Do you think people who identify as such should be able to get their official documents changed to reflect their "gender identities" instead of their sex?

No, sex is more important.

FlanJam · 2021-07-12T04:04:23+00:00

Its just a really weird way of using "man" and "woman". Most people don't use it like that. If I told my neighbors "women can have penises", they'd look at me like a crazy person.

FlanJam · 2021-07-09T04:59:25+00:00

Now I'm confused. Why did you ask "How would you find evidence for a story about lack of evidence?" if you already have an example of evidence?

Rabbit holes aside, my point is this story is flimsy and probably shouldn't have been publish in this state.

FlanJam · 2021-07-06T04:12:28+00:00

Yeah and I don't like the way they frame it as pro-trans vs anti-trans. Its so loaded, it makes the "anti-trans" side the bad guys by default. I don't even think of it as a trans issue, its a women's issue. The fact that the person is trans doesn't matter. Its the fact that they have a penis, that's the issue.

FlanJam · 2021-06-30T01:56:32+00:00

Undoing self-id would be huge, if gender ideologues actually walked back on that, it'd give me hope we could get along. Acknowledge the cotton ceiling issue, give a voice to detrans people, stop denying sex exists, acknowledge the importance of sex especially for women... if everyone could agree on those things, that's be amazing.

FlanJam · 2021-06-04T11:25:30+00:00

Like other people said, QT relies on emotional appeal a lot and they're good at it. Not just trans stuff but all their talking points seem to revolve around personal freedom and validation which sounds really nice. But their arguments aren't logically rigorous imo. Even some of the more well spoken and reasonable QT will have holes in their ideology. Maybe I'm bias but I think some QT positions are simply untenable and they should just drop it and focus on things they can fight for.

GC is like the polar opposite in my eyes. Their arguments are logical, consistent, and even if I disagree in places I find myself agreeing with them most of the time. But they don't present their views in the most tactful ways. I get they don't wanna play nice and they wanna be unapologetic but when I see GC arguing they can come off was way too pedantic or aggressive.

FlanJam · 2021-05-14T09:53:15+00:00

Women do have the right to privacy from other women. If a woman peeped on another woman in a single stall changing room, then obviously that's wrong. Locker rooms, however, women expect to have to share with other women. Part of it probably due to practicality, making every locker room individual stalls would require a lot more space. Part of it probably has to do with societal standards, women sharing spaces with other women is the norm and most people seem to be okay with this system.

I don't think I'm saying anything weird, I'm just describing the way things currently are. If you don't think it makes sense you're free to advocate for coed locker rooms, I'm sure some already exist. And who knows, maybe things will go that way in the future. But right now I think most women prefer spaces to be sex segregated.

FlanJam · 2020-12-02T09:53:05+00:00

Seriously? I used to like Page but that's so disgusting.

FlanJam · 2020-10-25T00:09:53+00:00

Rarely have I seen lesbian representation that is explicitly lesbian, and even more rare if they say the word "lesbian" aloud. Most of the time they leave it ambiguous, even when its not meant to be. For example, as much as I enjoyed she-ra, they only confirmed them as lesbian in interviews (I'm pretty sure this is the case, I haven't finished the final season yet lol).

Ironically tho, east asian media tends to be a little better (especially with more tomboyish characters), even tho those countries are generally not as accepting of LGBT. Of course, the media I speak of is mostly indie, created by lgbt people. You'll rarely find anything mainstream.

FlanJam · 2020-10-19T23:50:15+00:00

So this is a thread talking about a thread talking about another thread... thread-ception....

Anyways, looking at the original reddit thread, there seems to be two issues. First, OP called it a "preference", which is the same language homophobes have been using for decades. OP even admitted using "preference" was a mistake.

And second, the main issue is that OP accused r/askgaybros of being transphobic without further explanation. And given the context of all those subs getting banned not too long ago, its understandable why they'd be annoyed at someone coming in and pointing fingers.

As for the ovarit thread, seems like they're just watching the drama unfold.

FlanJam · 2020-10-15T02:02:21+00:00

I saw a post about licking pussy just now. The first comment underneath was talking about blowjobs and licking balls 🤢🤢🤢

FlanJam · 2020-10-05T03:29:55+00:00

I used to be QT because I thought it was the "right side of history", but then I realized I disagreed with a lot of their views. For a while I questioned if my disagreements stemmed from transphobia, but after much contemplation I'm confident it doesn't. Generally I think the more moderate QT and GC people are alright, its the extreme ends that I'd say are "on the wrong side of history".

FlanJam · 2020-09-19T21:54:23+00:00

I'm not an expert so take what I say with a grain of salt. But what I understand is the female seahorses provides the eggs, and the males carry them to birth. If they wanna call that pregnancy then sure, but that doesn't say anything about human reproduction.

I also wonder, according to QT logic does "rock pregnancy" exist? Clownfish lay their eggs on rocks, and the rocks carry the eggs to birth. So are the rocks pregnant? Obviously I'm being silly lol. But the point is, its just a semantic game. They're using the word "pregnancy" to describe two different reproductive processes of two different species. They're comparing apples to oranges.

FlanJam · 2021-09-09T23:00:46+00:00

Yes, for example I've heard stories of gay men bathhouses not wanting transmen in those spaces. Those spaces are often sexual in nature so I totally get why they wouldn't want a female there.

FlanJam · 2021-07-21T02:17:08+00:00

Yeah, given QT track record for bending the truth, or just straight up lying, I'm becoming very skeptical of any claims they make.

FlanJam · 2021-07-09T05:35:52+00:00

Well kind of, I guess? You pointed out a source at the spa, that's one kind of evidence. And like I mentioned before, you can seek out evidence that the woman planned to fabricated the incident. Not saying it would be easy to prove if it was staged. But the article should've sought out more evidence before claiming it may have been staged. At this point it just feels like conjecture.

FlanJam · 2021-07-09T05:29:21+00:00

I agree with you, there's no reason to think its fake. This article is basically conjecture and they shouldn't have published it as is tbh. I was just telling Heimdekledi what kind of evidence I think would be compelling.

FlanJam · 2021-06-11T08:44:12+00:00

As a kpop fan I enjoyed the video lol

FlanJam · 2021-04-29T07:55:47+00:00

That's true, most people aren't really aware of the issues and what QT actually looks like today.

FlanJam · 2021-03-10T08:13:37+00:00

looks like the sub was banned, to no one's surprise

FlanJam · 2020-11-20T10:19:51+00:00

I will have sex with minimal attention to genitals

I can't take people seriously when they say stuff like this. Its just so detached from reality...

FlanJam · 2020-09-14T02:31:15+00:00

Its kinda funny, first time I saw this movie I knew it was bad I just watched it for Erika Linder lol. But looking at it now... I'm not really into her anymore. Like, I still think she's pretty and all, but she's not really my type anymore haha.

FlanJam · 2020-08-24T19:58:54+00:00

Oh yeah, I remember that now. Isn't it like a breach of journalistic integrity to change someone's words like that? Idk anything about that stuff, but I feel like it should be a big issue to change someone's words and pass it off as a quote they said.

I'm also reminded now of how a lot of lesbian artists call themselves queer of instead of lesbian. Tegan and Sara, King Princess, and Girl in Red come to mind. Now, labels are quite personal so I wouldn't dare say they need to call themselves lesbians. But its interesting how many women are averse to using "lesbian" as a label. Which is why I have a lot of respect for Hayley Kiyoko. She said she didn't like "lesbian" at first but now she wants to help normalize the word for others.

FlanJam · 2021-11-17T05:13:20+00:00

bruh, you can't be for real 😂

FlanJam · 2021-11-14T01:37:51+00:00

And I think transactivists have took full advantage of the confusion between sex and gender.

Oh for sure. The way they're retroactively redefining sex-based things as gender-based is so sneaky. If they were honest about wanting to changed things to be gender-based, that'd be fair game. But claiming things were always gender-based is just deceitful.

FlanJam · 2021-07-21T21:14:12+00:00

I think you're using "real" differently from how the dictionary uses it.

FlanJam · 2021-07-20T22:11:55+00:00

Yeah, there was so much abuse and such involved with this case. This case is more about child abuse and medical abuse than about gender.

FlanJam · 2021-07-20T21:13:54+00:00

What's the difference between an 'instinctual identification with something' and a 'desire to be something'? Honest question.

FlanJam · 2021-07-16T21:11:04+00:00

I guess I've noticed some infighting among QT, perhaps due to being cooped up and online during the pandemic. But idk if that's really significant or just regular infighting that any group will have.

There was also the Bell v Tavistock case and the Maya Forstater stuff, but that just happened to overlap with the pandemic, not so much a result of it.

But overall I dunno, I can't think if any significant changes that happened because of the pandemic. But I haven't been paying close attention so I could be missing something lol

FlanJam · 2021-07-13T21:26:24+00:00

I guess it depends who you'd consider QT, certainly all the outspoken and devout QTs believe it is bigotry. But I think the more casual QT people would be more likely to say date whoever you want its your life.

Personally, I wouldnt mind dating a casual QT person, I think those people just wanna support trans people but aren't necessarily devoted to the crazy stuff. I dunno about a hardcore QT person tho, it'd be like dating a flat-earther. I guess we could make it work but it'd be tough to ignore the elephant in the room. I wouldn't mind dating a GC person given they aren't one of the ultra extreme ones who are actually transphobic.

FlanJam · 2021-07-12T05:43:43+00:00

happy bday! 🎉🥂

FlanJam · 2021-07-01T07:36:39+00:00

No problem! I think the framing of the whole thing is terrible, because the gender-ideology side have made it seem like they represent trans activism but I dunno if they do. It might seem that way when you see all the eccentric people on twitter and youtube saying crazy stuff, but when I talk to real trans people they don't agree with any of the crazy stuff either. I wonder if you polled trans people, how many are actually on board with gender ideology.

The whole mess seems to just continue to shine a light on the reality of biological sex,

Its kinda hilarious in a way, its like people are rediscovering the importance of sex all over again. I saw some apolitical people on the female weight lifting reddit discussing that trans weightlifter in the olympics. They were saying its kinda unfair for natal women, and that we should have "amab and afab" divisions... and I'm thinking hello? we already have that its called male and female sports lol. Its wild how we have to reinvent the wheel.

I had to look up cotton ceiling again

Haha, totally not a biased article at all lol. In all seriousness tho, its so hard to talk about cotton ceiling because everyone exaggerates so much. Either it doesn't exist at all or trans people are going around forcing people to have sex with them. But in reality I think its a more nuanced discussion about social pressure, having boundaries, when a trans person should disclose, etc. Its an important discussion to have but no one wants to have it because its become so politicized.

Sorry for ranting but I wanted to get if off my chest lol.

FlanJam · 2021-06-17T03:22:59+00:00

I don't know much about law but would this extend to sport? I just briefly looked thru the page, and it says protection of gender identity falls under protection of sex. I'm thinking sports is one place where sex discrimination is allowed. Girls teams are allowed to say boys aren't allowed in their sport on the basis of sex. So if protection of gender identity falls under protection of sex, wouldn't girls teams be allowed to turn down transwomen as well?

FlanJam · 2021-06-17T02:35:42+00:00

I don't like the way some people so casually apply modern concepts of gender and sexuality onto historical figures, but that doesn't mean we can't acknowledge of the existence of gay relationships and the existence of same-sex attracted people throughout history. Otherwise we'd lose all ability to talk about lgbt history past a certain point, which would be a shame.

FlanJam · 2021-06-06T21:45:36+00:00

Ahh, well leaving comments doesn't guarantee you'll get good responses lol. I was just talking about what worried19 said about feeling ignored.

FlanJam · 2021-04-29T10:51:24+00:00

My point is: passing partially works. It can keep out self-id abusers and trendy queers. It can not account for trans predators. So no, its not an ideal indicator and I'm not advocating for it as policy. I personally wouldn't care about sharing bathrooms with passing trans people, but I realize a lot of women do care and have good reason to. Hope that clears things up.

FlanJam · 2021-04-29T07:43:21+00:00

There's no way to tell for sure, I agree.

FlanJam · 2021-04-29T07:08:51+00:00

That's true. Would be interesting to see a poll of how many women would be okay with tranwomen in bathrooms, passing or nonpassing. My guess is more women would be okay with passing transwomen than nonpassing. I wonder how many would say no transwomen at all tho.

FlanJam