(Saidit) PEAK TRANS I: Please continue to share your stories!!

Elysian · 2020-07-07T19:38:57+00:00

I'm just a little bit older than most people here. I've never thought that men could be women. I've seen and interacted with a few trans individuals and they were all the TIM type, and definitely not passing. I'll never forget the one behind the bar at the pub near the train station in Manchester. Full makeup, beard, dress... he was amazing.

I never thought they wanted to pass. I just assumed that they liked wearing women's clothing. No big deal. They can wear what they like. I knew a few teenage boys who would wear skirts as a statement that they were making, not sure what kind of statement, but if they wanted to wear skirts, that is no problem at all. Skirts for everyone.

But then they started taking hormones and getting gender reassignment surgery and I was uneasy with that. Of course they could mutilate their bodies if they really, really want to, but who were the people doing this to them? Being okay with cutting off healthy body parts? Why was this starting to become more acceptable?

I was told in an internet forum some time ago that some people were born with the wrong brain. I may be knowledgeable in my field, but I definitely do not know enough about biology to prove them wrong. I thought, hell it may be possible, certain brain deformities do exist - but I didn't like the idea that it meant I, as a woman, had a different brain than a man. Structurally. Because that would bolster clear sexist beliefs. Wouldn't it?

Eventually I researched this and found that it was a lie. About the same time, a friend of a friend decided he was trans. That man was in his 30s, tall, ugly, and weird. But he wants us to call him Lucy now, and pretend he's a woman. Noooooo. No thank you. I'm not going to participate in your delusions. You need psychological assistance. Not pandering.

I think I knew it was autogynaephilia even before that was reported widely. It was clear he didn't really believe he was a woman. He wanted to have sex with women but they wouldn't go near him, so this was the next best thing.

It was sad. And I'm here now, and the more I read the more horrified I get.

Elysian · 2020-07-21T16:46:25+00:00

Holy shit, I just went and looked, seems to be about 1/4 of the posts were transgender. That's insane.

Elysian · 2020-08-06T12:59:27+00:00

You know, honestly, I don't care if people want to dress like this. He's obviously trying to be shocking, but as long as he's decent, I have no issue with this. He has at least covered up the bits.

Although I did have a flash where I was concerned that we would all be dressing like this in 50 years. This is what the future looks like, people.

Elysian · 2020-07-21T21:16:23+00:00

Yes! That's why I left /r/curlyhair too, it was ridiculous how many people were fawning over the TIMs in that forum. Plus they couldn't help me anyway, but that was the main reason.

Elysian · 2020-07-10T13:58:30+00:00

Embroidery, beading, cross stitch, and baking. Gardening and aquariums. Cats.

/s/GenderCritical needs more cat pictures

Elysian · 2020-08-13T15:49:40+00:00

So you want to talk to women... but you hate women... makes sense.

Elysian · 2020-07-09T07:41:57+00:00

It assuaged their deep need for control and their right to a hugbox.

Seriously, that admin who shut all the female-focused subreddits down is probably wanking over it right now.

Elysian · 2020-07-07T08:52:31+00:00

No, it's even stranger than that. Women can have girlfriends that they are not in relations with. I have lots of girlfriends. I can only have one boyfriend however. Men can have one girlfriend and no boyfriends at all unless they are gay. The logic is hard to follow and honestly it doesn't make much sense.

I'm brushing up on my French at the moment and I'm having difficulty with all the gendered nouns because they feel inherently sexist to me. Why is a table feminine, who made this decision? Is there something inherently womanly about tables? Why is milk masculine, doesn't make sense.

Elysian · 2020-07-17T20:00:55+00:00

I for one do not discount this, I think it's more that this doesn't affect men as much as it affects women. So naturally they don't care as much. Not that they don't care at all, just that they don't care as much. They also may just not "get" the real issues.

I was talking to my husband about this yesterday and he asked why women hate being called a "uterus haver". It's because we're constantly reduced to our sexual characteristics. It's demeaning and sexist and just utterly horrible. I asked him whether he would care about being called a "penis haver", to try to get him to empathise, and he just didn't see a problem with it. Who cares? While I deeply loathe being reduced to my sexual organs. Dehumanised, like women frequently are.

That's all. I welcome male allies, like in the now-defunct gendercriticalguys.

Elysian · 2020-08-03T08:49:54+00:00

I am of the firm opinion that there is a huge overlap between trans"bians" and weeaboos.

Elysian · 2020-07-07T16:10:47+00:00

This is wonderful, thanks for sharing.

Elysian · 2020-07-07T15:14:40+00:00

I know right? Pink shirts, of all things. Lots of cultures are worse though, and I think it is getting better over time.

Elysian · 2020-07-07T13:11:57+00:00

It's funny you should bring up the word "doctor" because "doctor" in French is always un médecin, masculine, whether it's a woman or a man. So are babies, they're always masculine.

Languages are fascinating. As you point out, female/woman includes male/man, but for other things we do have gendered terms. Cow/bull, dog/bitch, hen/cockerel - although bulls are also cows and bitches are also dogs and no matter the gendered word for chicken, they're all chickens. I take your point on English being confusing.

It is still really strange for me to gender nouns, because what makes a noun sound feminine? In French if a noun ends in "ie" or "ee" it's more likely to be feminine, but why? Why does it have to have a sex, why can't it just be a word? And how did that word form in such a way that made it sound feminine?

English used to capitalise nouns like somewhat like German still does, I think "I" being capitalised is an artefact.

Elysian · 2020-07-04T17:46:23+00:00

I remember when only pervs looked at porn, and it was mostly pictures in magazines. There were videos of course but there's a huge difference between literally millions of videos and one blurry VHS you borrowed from your friend. Boys now start looking at porn at the age of nine and watch it for hours a day. This is a tremendous sea change in our sexuality as a species which can't be studied easily due to the lack of a control group.

Elysian · 2020-06-30T08:54:12+00:00

I actually posted a few times saying that I don't hate transgender people and I thought we should be clear that we don't hate them - many people agreed with me. I think for the most part we feel pity towards transgender people, they are obviously very confused and going through a lot. But... they aren't women.

Elysian · 2020-07-14T07:39:36+00:00

I have thought that perhaps the hermit life is for me.

Elysian · 2020-07-07T15:13:03+00:00

That does sound pretty terrible. I wouldn't want to be named after my father's first name, at least our last names are pretty neutral because our aunts and sisters and grandmother on our dad's side share the same name, until they get married of course. I was able to keep my dad's last name when I got married, and I know of families that are sharing the mother's last name, which I think is nice. It is nice to be able to choose. It makes you feel like you have some autonomy.

Elysian · 2020-09-18T12:30:33+00:00

Hi WIL, I'm looking for articles about transwomen in female bathrooms, do you have anything about that? I can't find anything in Google, surprise...

Elysian · 2020-07-06T17:55:13+00:00

I really am not not exaggerating when I say I feel terribly bad for the young women now. Social media, pornsick boys, the push to surgically change your body, and now the transgender people. So glad I grew up where the worst problems were date rape and sexual harassment/abuse.

I thought society would improve with time, guess I was wrong.

Elysian · 2020-08-16T21:00:09+00:00

Yes, a female family member almost died from a stroke and is still profoundly disabled twelve years later. It's not a joke, and it's not fun - whenever I see it, I shudder.

Elysian · 2020-07-30T13:04:51+00:00

There is a certain argument that says the Great Filter is actually when an intelligent species creates a virtual reality so compelling that they decide to live there all the time, and turn so insular that they never try to find another intelligent species and eventually die out. But, to quote the film adaptation of Ready Player One, reality "is the only place to get a decent meal". I doubt we'd abandon it entirely.

Still, if your argument is that we're too involved in videogames to invent things, you would expect that the rate of invention would slow over time, which I think it is pretty clear it has not.

Elysian · 2020-07-30T10:26:56+00:00

Are you sure that television wasn't as big a draw as videogames? I remember a time before videogames, you know - people watched television like it was a second job. Reporting (on the television) would tell us just how many hours we were watching, and how it was wasting our lives. Four or five hours a day, sometimes, and eight on weekends.

I've never really liked television and don't watch it now - but I do remember that most of the people I knew would just sit in front of the television all night, every night. And that's all they would talk about the next day. I would read books or go see friends and come back and my family was still watching. And they thought that I was the strange one.

Before television, we all used to go down to the pub in an evening, to drink beer and tell lies. :) I'm not even joking. That's what people did.

Elysian · 2020-07-29T20:37:07+00:00

To be honest, I think most people just watched television.

Elysian · 2020-06-30T08:58:11+00:00

Older and British, checking in ;)

Elysian