Life was so much less complicated before feminine gay men became lesbians

Aurelius · 2023-05-05T00:32:02+00:00

Honestly I miss feminine gay men, or just feminine men in general. Instead of wearing dresses, why can't there be more metrosexual fops wearing elaborate peacock like fashion that actually suits the male form?

Aurelius · 2022-12-21T02:26:15+00:00

Thank you, I also believe the soul lasts forever but I don't believe that there are various realms after life. I do believe in everyone returning to the same place together as a part of 'god' before reincarnation. But then, as bad as I feel my life is, chances are my next life would be worse.

Aurelius · 2022-12-20T06:11:23+00:00

Hmm, that makes sense. I was hoping to have a job ages ago I have paperwork and emails showing that I was terminated and not let go... But by now the year is pretty much up and I've drained my savings. I'll keep in mind what you told me though for future reference.

Aurelius · 2022-12-20T06:08:25+00:00

Yes, my compelling reasons are the spike proteins.

I was feeling morose and voicing here what I usually kept to myself. If I do anything like an idiot and put myself to sleep in the snow, it would be in my own terms. I'd also know what's going on with my body. With the mRNA vaccine, it's all up in the air. Having control is a powerful thing I suppose.

I'm not going to do anything self harming. My head was just empty, I'm sure things will work out one way or the other.

Aurelius · 2022-12-19T17:15:46+00:00

Eh. It would be more the cold vs the booze. Half the office were spooked by the vaccine, and a quarter were let go.

Aurelius · 2022-12-19T16:50:37+00:00

I got lost of work for not being forced vaccinated. The hospital I worked for was ignoring all religious exemptions. So I got the termination letter, but my work told unemployment that I quit.

I've been turned down by jobs when I tried to get similar positions, and already have an eviction notice. Here in Alaska I've never seen so much snow.

Honestly, getting smashed drink and sleeping in the snow and leaving everyone else to suffer doesn't sound like a bad idea.

Aurelius · 2022-12-15T07:56:06+00:00

Honestly, there's so many people who are so upset that he's allowing dissenting opinions that they don't mind violence against him, so I can understand why he did it. Banning accounts supporting pedophilia upset s lot of dangerous individuals.

Aurelius · 2022-12-12T14:06:30+00:00

What has people been up to lately?

It's been a wild winter, there's so much snow outside, it'll be tough to dig out my car.

I've been drinking a lot of tea, especially aged Pu'erh. I've also been doing a lot of crochet. Does anyone here knit or crochet? I made some doilies and small snowflake earrings. It's a great way to relax from a lot of pressure that's been haunting my life.

Have a good week everyone!

Aurelius · 2022-11-15T23:51:41+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that, I hope things get better for you soon. When things are hard for me, I remind myself that nothing lasts forever and that this too will soon pass.

Aurelius · 2022-11-09T13:30:27+00:00

Heartbreaking, what a hole to dig yourself in. I wish there were more support for these people who take avenues in their life that can cause mental issues.

That being said, I do wish I could shut myself off as well.

Aurelius · 2022-11-08T14:41:18+00:00

There is so much over analyzing going on, making something so simple very over complicated. Why? Imagine if these thoughts were directed outwards instead of inwards, I bet they would be more productive.

Aurelius · 2022-10-25T01:37:55+00:00

Haha, this is mostly what I hear. It all sounds so convoluted that I never had the energy to follow along with the spectrum I just don't know how these people do it. When it used to be Female/Male, people had time to think about other things in their life...

Aurelius · 2022-10-24T18:58:11+00:00

I do want to get some choice tippy teas from Ceylon one of these days. I keep meaning to make my own spiced chai since I already have green cardamom and cinnamon sticks...

Aurelius · 2022-10-24T18:54:27+00:00

I've tried typhoo when I was giving different British teas a try, but then I learned that America has it's own mix which isn't the same ie: not as strong. I did enjoy Taylor's of Harrogate, Twinnings and 'Extra Strong' P&G tips. All very good! I love it really strong to where the broth is no longer translucent.

Coffee is okay but I just have watery instant when I'm on the run haha.

Aurelius · 2022-10-24T04:32:37+00:00

I wonder if anyone else here loves tea? I drink a lot of it every day. I have whole leaf Assam black tea, quality English Breakfast, japanese greens and various chinese tea. Lately I've been enjoying Chinese black tea in a tiny 200ml glass tea pot where I can do multiple brews in a tiny teacup so that I can taste how the flavor changes. I like buying teaware in sets in case I ever find myself socializing again and could share a cup with a friend. How do you drink your tea?

Aurelius · 2022-10-23T17:34:05+00:00

Haha "This should come with a seizure warning."

Aurelius · 2022-10-19T01:17:03+00:00

That's great you do art don't mind the TQ+++ crowd. I like to draw a bit too but I never really posted much except a bit on deviant art which has gone downhill.

Don't give up, in sure there are many LGB who love your art!

Aurelius · 2022-10-14T07:43:02+00:00

You and I can tell how ridiculous a statement that is. Back when neovagina disasters was still on Reddit, I saw enough to know that it's not even close to the real thing, but it's scary that young people are buying this fantasy.

Aurelius · 2022-09-04T05:35:32+00:00

Wow they've nuked the comment section.

Aurelius · 2022-08-16T19:21:11+00:00

When you click on OPs link, it doesn't bring you directly to the article, so by saying "removed" I think he thought the article was removed.

Aurelius · 2022-08-15T14:51:32+00:00

Here it is; https://archive.ph/1qEto

Aurelius · 2022-07-29T10:50:27+00:00

They are retaliating against Twitter and Facebook having the word 'groomer' because parents are upset that teachers who identify as trans talk about gender and sexuality in grade schools, including kindergarten. Much of this is going on with the trans crowd and their so called'assigned at birth' theory. There are trans who think that the sooner a child identifies with a pronoun, the better, some even saying that all children should be on puberty blockers until a decision is made.

This understandably alarms many parents. Many people who are not in the "LGBT" community don't know about the infighting between gays and the transgendered, so the "gays against groomers" are trying to distance themselves from this behavior, making it clear that there are some of us who are not supportive of young children being taught about pronouns in school. Libs of TikTok is famous for posting neon colored teachers who brag about teaching their students about gender and do activities with them like wearing badges for a day that displays any other gender than you currently are.

At least this is as far as I understood it. Pardon any of my typos... I have sources for some of these on my computer.

Aurelius · 2022-07-29T10:37:06+00:00

"Replication Crisis" the science field are finding more and more bad science tarnished by fraud, politics and greed.

Aurelius · 2022-07-23T04:55:33+00:00

What's sad is the amount of ""woman"" on women rape and violence registered in forensic databases is going up since many trans women are no longer being registered as men.

Aurelius · 2022-07-22T17:01:25+00:00

Exactly, I'm curious what sort of conversations and activities this couple did to simultaneously lead them to this conclusion, of that is what happened. Claiming such is giving them a lot of attention anyways... But hey at least it spiced up their marriage for them?

Aurelius · 2022-07-22T16:58:03+00:00

They also don't allow dual citizenship in government which prevents outside infiltration, inline in the US.

Aurelius · 2022-07-19T14:16:01+00:00

I use a few different ones depending on what I'm looking up.

For search engines, searx.be is a good one using the Brave web browser, which also has a nice search engine. I wish I had a link to a chart that listed privacy based info on different Web Browsers, but I don't have it at hand atm.

Here are a list of other search engines listing pros and cons; https://restoreprivacy.com/private-search-engine/

Aurelius · 2022-07-19T09:23:37+00:00

DuckDuckGo has been caught tracking and reporting data to Microsoft with their hidden teaching agreement as well as censoring websites by removing them from their search engine.

If privacy is why you use it, take a look here; http://techrights.org/2021/03/15/duckduckgo-in-2021/

Aurelius · 2022-07-10T13:25:59+00:00

I have a question for the gentlemen here, do men can themselves and other men guys? Just curious.

Aurelius · 2022-07-10T11:54:53+00:00

Right before Hitler took power, Berlin and other oats of Germany was known as the Weimar Republic, which prompted a while lot of sexual freedom. That includes cross dressing, transvestites, prostitution of alarming ages and some very shocking stuff I won't repeat.

So basically that sounds likely.

Aurelius · 2022-07-06T23:02:44+00:00

"Evil cannot create. It can only destroy."

Marxist tactics want everything uniform, drab and grey with no beauty that might offend, no originality that might 'exclude', least it be violently torn down by the marxists with their souls filled with great vitreol for anything that deviates from their strict pre approved way of being.

Aurelius · 2022-07-06T22:31:24+00:00

Comics, anime or online fandoms that fantasize about relationships between two (usually hetero) males, such as Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy......

Yaoi; The anime, fan fics and fan art usually depict an overly romanticized version of gay relationships, at least that's what I gather. The men will have behaviors that resemble blushing school girls. (I'm a lesbian, so I'm not fully in the know but I'm simply parroting what I've read of gay men who say that Yaoi is very unrealistic). A fan of the media is called a Weeb, the way Star Trek fans are called Trekkies.

As for the TIMs, they watch mass amounts of hentai/anime porn and imagine themselves as the female before one day declaring themselves as trans and give themselves anime avatars.

Aurelius · 2022-07-06T22:19:36+00:00

OMG isn't it wonderful?? I've been downloading as much as I can almost daily and put them on my Kindle. I'm glad I can preview some books before buying much easier now, especially the cook books! On my Kindle Fire, I installed through third party websites ReadEra and Perfect Viewer to view them all. Some of the categories I have are;

Homestead or DIY
Herbalism
Philosophy
Clothing Fashion and Armor reference
Cooking
Crochet
Graphic Novels
How to Draw (Classic)
How to Draw (Digital or Manga)
History
Native American
Pose Referances

Aurelius · 2022-07-06T22:12:04+00:00

Oh, my apologies. I have a tendency to take things far too literally. :)

Aurelius · 2022-07-05T01:50:15+00:00

I understand the feeling of being afraid to voice ones thoughts, but for something so blatantly obvious I truly believe that we are experiencing 'The Emperor's New Clothing'. Most people know but choose the path of least resistance.

Aurelius · 2022-07-04T23:08:08+00:00

Oh man that so seems so complicated. It just seems like a whole lot of convoluted inward thinking without a while lot of social awareness.

The reason why these don't take off quite so much in Japan and they they get skinny so harmoniously is because they are taught to be considerate of others and work as a unit. In western countries were taught to stand out however we could and screw the rest... sigh.

Aurelius · 2022-07-04T22:49:57+00:00

Sorry, I hope everyone has a wonderful week!

Aurelius · 2022-07-04T08:58:11+00:00

I'm not sure if I could post it, but this week I have been downloading a lot of e-books from b-ok.cc to keep on my Kindle. It's a treasure trove that I recently discovered and I have so many cook books and how to draw books now... Oh yeah and crochet patterns for the new hobby I'm trying to pick up.

Hope everyone has a wonderful 4th!

Aurelius · 2022-06-28T00:12:54+00:00

I put butter and salt on the corn and then wrap them up in tinfoil before throwing on the coals. Definitely give it a try!

Aurelius · 2022-06-27T06:14:41+00:00

Yes! I'm house-sitting for my mom and she has a fantastic fire pit on a house surrounded by forests and mountains. It's very easy to start a fire but I know there was a fire ordinance...

Roast corn and sweet potatoes are also so good! What do you like to cook on a fire?

Aurelius · 2022-06-27T05:44:35+00:00

Good evening, I hope everyone had a nice weekend.

It's been so dry lately, but I've been wanting to start a fire to make some fire roasted hot dogs and s'mores.

Aurelius · 2022-06-25T01:59:29+00:00

I remember similar stories to that, I don't trust WaPo at all.

Aurelius · 2022-06-22T06:19:26+00:00

"People can say no for ///any/// reason. Any."

The post that mentioned this was down voted and then deleted by a mod. Very creepy.

The good news is that these trans women are much easier to clock then they realize...

Aurelius · 2022-06-22T01:35:10+00:00

I've no idea, but I do know that if my heart is broken I'm afraid it may destroy me, so I've chosen the single life. The older I get the less I feel right about flings so those aren't a thing for me any more, besides LGBT spaces are a little hectic for my taste.

Aurelius · 2022-06-22T01:27:52+00:00

Same thing on Twitter keeps happening to LibsfTikTok, there's always an outcry when they repost trans activists and they've been suspended twice.

Aurelius · 2022-06-18T02:33:20+00:00

I'm iffy on spices because they can lose flavor over time, but stored properly in an air tight mylar bag they'll keep.

Stock up on rice, beans, vinegar and baking soda and learn to use mylar bags! Learn to make delicious food with them. Food prices are going to get bad... There's wonderful videos on YouTube on how to store things properly for a long shelf life.

There are those emergency food containers which are good but... It's a lot of macaroni, rice and noodles.

Aurelius · 2022-06-15T03:18:13+00:00

I watched that GAMP video with Blair White and I thought the way they described their sense of humor was great! Blair said that in their house they joke about Blair being a man and Joey being gay all the time and they just laugh about it. I love how chill they are together!

Aurelius · 2022-06-15T02:49:58+00:00

Have you seen 2000 Mules?

Aurelius · 2022-06-14T21:14:57+00:00

Honestly the worst description I've heard was a TIM whose parts were rotting and falling off. He had an entire webpage complete with pictures that someone posted on r/NeovaginaDisasters or whatever it was called on Reddit before it was banned.

Aurelius · 2022-06-14T21:12:09+00:00

How horrible, he's being mass reported for talking about his troubles and some of the posts have been deleted. Luckily it has been archived here if you want to read it fully;

https://archive.ph/dA1wn

Aurelius · 2022-06-14T21:10:07+00:00

It's late but I wanted to say thank you for allowing me back in. I'm happy to see that this place hasn't completely disappeared.

Aurelius · 2022-06-02T11:06:38+00:00

How very thoughtful, I hope everyone has a wonderful pride month as well!

Aurelius · 2022-06-02T11:04:37+00:00

The drama there is very unfortunate, I hope things get ironed out soon.

Aurelius · 2022-06-02T10:56:10+00:00

Awe I hate drama. That's the last LGB community I visit, even though I don't post much. Ah well.

Aurelius · 2022-05-06T21:19:18+00:00

Their profile says they're happily married, bit what's all this? Lots of fabrication going on...

Aurelius · 2022-05-06T20:58:58+00:00

That's sad he cut off contract with his brother. This gender thing really divides friends and family and I really think that is too bad...

Aurelius · 2022-05-06T20:56:18+00:00

So many very mild comments deleted.... You can see the what they deleted here;

https://www.reveddit.com/v/actuallesbians/comments/ujg39p/im_trans_why_are_cis_lesbians_never_interested_in/?ps_after=1651827821&context=0

Aurelius · 2022-04-27T14:33:51+00:00

Well, I've certainly withdrawn.

Aurelius · 2022-04-15T07:13:20+00:00

I consider myself conservative, which me l makes me an outcast on all sides. I just like smaller government and more freedom and self sufficiency. I don't hate anyone either, I like people and I judge everyone on a case by case basis, giving them the benefit of the doubt. But I understand that mentioning my meeting conservative puts others at a distance but I've gotten used to it. I do wish to see everyone getting along more and having a good time instead of fighting so much like so many do today.

Aurelius · 2022-04-15T07:07:09+00:00

I don't think conservatives in general want to erase LGB rights. They just don't want it so much in your face the way the LGBTQIA+++ has, seeing it in schools, etc.

Aurelius · 2022-04-15T07:03:05+00:00

Idk, they're are only like 12 lesbians in existence it seems, and I don't know then we'll but they sure don't seem to be hateful to me.

Aurelius · 2022-04-10T09:37:10+00:00

To study sexuality close to WWII, around 1930's, the Weimar Republic, like in Berlin would be a good start. There's a few journal entries or bits in memories written about that time which may give an insight on the attitude about those things at the time.

Aurelius · 2022-04-10T09:28:53+00:00

The tweet had been deleted, may I suggest posts be archived, like from nitter or just archive?

Aurelius · 2022-03-11T19:26:29+00:00

I'm republican, sorry to make anyone uncomfortable.

They're have been schools where they were talking to the kids behind their parents back and offering help and encouragement to transgenders. They're have been children's books with very explicit material that alarmed parents. I think the school shouldn't be teaching kids about LGBT things, especially secretly behind parents backs.

Aurelius · 2022-03-03T09:33:55+00:00

I sure wouldn't mind being in a room with 50 cute lesbians tbh...

Aurelius · 2022-02-25T14:55:27+00:00

This poor girl. She doesn't realize what a grave she's digging for herself. I wish her well but this delusional house of cards she's building is going to collapse when the magic has worn.

Aurelius · 2022-02-23T10:19:12+00:00

Thank you, although it's been so long I've gotten quite comfortable being alone. I wish the same for you and sorry for the late reply.

Aurelius · 2022-02-10T16:55:54+00:00

Yep, it so be like that. I've become a spinster to avoid it all.

Aurelius · 2022-02-10T16:33:15+00:00

Lol pretty much!

Aurelius · 2021-12-10T08:21:10+00:00

Hm? Coco polo was my favorite stevia sweetened chocolate bar. It's smooth and creamy, I love the way it melts. Can't get it here anymore, Lily chocolate it's shoved in the center of attention everywhere. It's .. okay. I enjoy it, but cocopolo is what I'd be happy with the most.

Aurelius · 2021-06-03T20:29:58+00:00

Even the people there attack lesbian conservatives. It's very sad to see. Conservatives aren't as bad a people say. I was afraid to post on that forum too, but I miss lurking.

Aurelius · 2021-05-12T03:47:44+00:00

35 here, I've honestly given up and alleviate the loneliness by painting, music, cooking and Buddhism + meditation. Mostly anyways... I check online social places like this from time to time but don't think I'll feel welcome or wanted anywhere.

I'm sorry that is a painful time, just keep holding on.

Aurelius · 2021-04-07T02:41:48+00:00

Stevia based milk chocolate.

Aurelius · 2021-04-06T06:51:02+00:00

I'm not planning on getting the vaccine.

Aurelius · 2021-01-26T20:25:53+00:00

Haha, well I'm glad to hear that! And now for part two of my disappearing act. I'll emerge when I'm enlightened to the ways of properly interacting with society without causing problems. (I might be in the closet for a very long time...)

I wish you all well! <3 namaste~

Aurelius · 2021-01-26T10:17:28+00:00

Ohhh... I was so confused! I hadn't been around for a while and forgot about that. All the fighting does get to me sometimes and I lock myself away to avoid it I guess. She's right, I probably should grow a spine but by now I'm afraid I'm a lost cause.

Edit: Also the thing that you're guessing wasn't me. I think I haven't even seen the post in question.

Aurelius · 2021-01-26T10:03:30+00:00

Meaning, I have no idea who Sailormoon2020 is or why they makes it a giveaway. I'm not sure what I'm meant to deny or what you're guessing either. I think I've put myself in a situation that I'm not well prepared for and I'm very sorry for the confusion. Please don't mind me.

Aurelius · 2021-01-26T09:37:02+00:00

I tend to be a little shy to post here so I'm not familiar with well known trolls.

You do have a point, but I feel it's worse now than ever, making horrible emotions and language more likely to occur. Maybe I just hold on to memories from back when people didn't care so much. Or maybe I was just naive...

Aurelius · 2021-01-26T09:33:42+00:00

Best of luck to you, truly. Sadly I predict that people may be shy to post on it since reddit paints an awful yet misleading picture of homosexuals. We tend to be targeted based on what that site has taught people to think of us. If it does go well though, I'd be pleasantly surprised!

Aurelius · 2021-01-26T09:25:52+00:00

Online, but I think I'm getting too old for it... so I've become a solitary creature.

Aurelius · 2021-01-26T09:24:42+00:00

I love cooking! I also like experimenting, and I tend towards more Asian themed and often lower carb things. Tonight I made Okonomiyaki, a savory cabbage pancake with a sweet worcestershire like sauce that I made. The batter was made of egg, almond flour and psyllium husk.

I don't always easy low carb, tomorrow I'm having rice and breaded shrimp with broccoli.

Aurelius · 2021-01-26T09:19:18+00:00

It was exhilarating. I felt manic to admire and be admired by someone I had fallen for. I felt like I wanted to do anything for her and always put my best self forward for her.

I suppose when it ended, I realized I should have been my more relaxed and down to earth self as it got very difficult to maintain my perfect self. I became a bit more distant and insecure when both of our rose tinted image of each other faded, and things inevitably didn't work out.

Aurelius · 2021-01-26T09:11:22+00:00

I voted for Trump too, I also believe that the media paints a terribly inaccurate picture of Trump, the way that reddit paints a picture of lesbians (TERFs). The mainstream media and social platforms are Democratic run and tend to focus more on activism vs. journalism.

I believe Trump did a lot of great things for our country and is far from the demon that there Democrats want you to think. In text I think the Democrats are incredibly conceited, power hungry and self serving.

What breaks my heart the most is that having this opinion not only outcasts me from mainstream platforms, but also from smaller ones as well. I only dream that we'll get along again one day, but I believe things will get better for us all. We just need to hold on.

Aurelius · 2021-01-26T09:01:11+00:00

That is too bad that political discussions are such a divisive issue threat days. I dream we'll all be able to get along again soon.

Aurelius · 2021-01-26T08:14:16+00:00

RINOs in charge don't care about rights but there are many gay right wing people who aren't at all on board with the whole trans thing.

Aurelius · 2020-10-16T22:00:38+00:00

I'm doing my best. A year of DBT therapy twice a week that included one on one and group therapy. It's been closed lately. It brought be to Buddhism and Stoicism that are both very similar. Buddhism has really moved me, and I'm making strides towards it. I've also taken Psychadelics for it's mental health benefits, it's taken me from being desperately wanting to die to being more okay with living.

But I still can't shake that no matter what I do, everyone will hate me. It gets so lonely. If I just keep practicing buddhism, maybe I can help other lesbians who are all alone like me.

Aurelius · 2020-10-16T21:54:06+00:00

My point of view is that the democrats are the ones being manipulative, the CCP is trying to take advantage of america, sex trafficking was rampant, and mexican drug cartels came and left too freely, selling fentanyl and drugs and abusing immigrants who paid the drug cartel to smuggle them in. I watch things like Tim Pool on youtube and other sources to show how badly the media manipulates things.

I don't see the evil in Trump that you do that would cause me to be shamed by this side of the lesbian community. I see that he's doing a lot of good, and I see that there's very little proof to show that he's the bad person that the MSM is trying to show him to be. I see someone who loves our country and wants to improve it, and democratic news sources doing dirty tricks to make him look bad and Harris/Biden to look good.

Aurelius · 2020-10-16T21:44:58+00:00

It's okay, I really only deserve scorn. If I was strong like normal people I wouldn't be so pathetic and deserve only hatred, scorn and isolation. I deserve every bad word spoken to me. My mom let me rot in the homeless shelter for a reason. I feel like if I socialize, nobody will see a thing about me worth caring about. Speaking about how pathetic I am will let everyone on Saidit see how wrong I am, destroying my chance at making friends here. Better now than later.

Aurelius · 2020-10-16T21:42:40+00:00

My physical health is quite nice actually I look great. Male friend, what? I'm doing my best to stop being miserable and pathetic. Thank you for slapping sense into me. I'll try not to lash out when I'm feeling so hopeless. Sometimes it just feels like when I vent out loud, it makes zero difference at all. Any action I do makes no difference. I'm alone, speaking will make people hate me. I just feel so disrupted inside it starts to pour out, despite only causing snarls and bad looks when I start crying. I know nothing is really a paradise.

Aurelius · 2020-10-16T20:32:21+00:00

I'm sorry for appearing like I'm trying to manipulate people. I'm just depressed and unhinged right now. I don't understand what about my post history that bothers you, but I've upset you and I'm sorry for that.

Aurelius · 2020-10-16T20:13:21+00:00

I was isolated when my mom was passed out drunk, her teeth rotted out from her binging. I was isolated when I hid from my abusive step dad, mom too withdrawn to comfort me. I was isolated when neglection as an infant made me strange and stutter at students at school. I became more isolated when living in a homeless shelter from violence twice, and my mom refused to pick me up.

Isolation is all I know, it's all I deserve. Thank you for your input, cherie. May you have a blessed day.

Aurelius · 2020-10-16T19:48:48+00:00

That it's not necessarily a religion, but a philosophy that's scientifically proven to reduce suffering.

Aurelius · 2020-10-16T19:14:49+00:00

I had no intention of taking sides, I just went to the LGBT club, did karaoke, went to BDSM clubs to meet people and learn what I can. On Plenty of Fish, I was called a TERF, didn't know what it was. The transwomen friends I met at the clubs tried to set me up to a blind date. Someone said they had a weird feeling about it, they were setting me up with a transwoman. I declined and they shit talked me behind my back.

Same thing has happened to online communities. I started reading, researching. I am facinated about what's going on. Trump is doing wonderful things for Americans, our economy, safety, etc. I see this, but I still try to be friends on all sides. I just hate hearing people hating women, whites, hating humans, hating america or hating in general. I'm facinated, watching current events unfold. I wish I can tear myself away and only focus on my buddhist studies. Maybe that's what makes me weak.

In any case, thank you kindly for your response. I am snapped, and as I mentioned when the sun returns I'll go back to being in the shadows, not to bother you fine people. I am nothing, nothing, nothing.

Aurelius · 2020-10-16T19:05:58+00:00

Thanks for your input. I see that Trump is doing a lot of good for america, and is not what the public smear campaign tells us to think. That mixed with my being broken, unable to make or maintain friends, living alone is just really doing me in. Dating is not in my future, I've only managed one night stands, making me feel like a ''fuckboi''' or something. I was just really wanting to touch someone.

I just work, read, sleep, work, read, sleep. Study buddhism and meditate when I can. Draw when I'm motivated, but I can't socialize. I am a leftover core without much to offer waiting until my breaths stop at last.

Growing up, the lesbians I knew in person were the least helpful people I ever knew. I asked them how I can talk to girls or flirt with them. They said I'll figure it out and that was it, got annoyed when I inquired further. I sought online for ideas and tried them out, feeling silly. But I am broken inside, mental, unstable.

There's nothing left. I feel helpless and small, drowned out by days melting together. I can't live like this. I can't. When the sun comes up again to clear away the mist, I'll go back to being in the dark.

Aurelius · 2020-10-16T16:52:43+00:00

I can see that women are beautiful.

Aurelius · 2020-10-16T16:51:59+00:00

Yup, that mixed with a mom who only was drunk and passed out, am abusive step dad plus a reject pedo dad destroyed me. Being a lesbian just made it worse. Now I'm just counting breaths until salvation shows it's merciful kiss of death.

Aurelius · 2020-10-16T16:48:52+00:00

They're mostly far left severs, or for young gamers only. Not for salty old leftovers like this stale grain.

Aurelius · 2020-10-16T16:45:59+00:00

Hugging my knees and crying alone.

Aurelius · 2020-10-15T06:11:22+00:00

There's a website called Ovarit.com that may be friendly to us, but I just discovered it myself so I'm not sure.

Aurelius · 2020-10-14T03:25:23+00:00

It isn't offensive. Not one little bit.

Aurelius