PinkNews CEO, Ben Cohen, gets Stonewall Vet and Gay Pride founder suspended from Twitter. Says he's "proud" of doing so.

8bitgay · 2021-02-01T13:44:50+00:00

"We owe everything to the people who fought for us at Stonewall!"

"So should we listen to gay men who took part at Stonewall?"

"... no."

8bitgay · 2020-12-01T17:52:01+00:00

Well, I had a good view of Ellen.

So, uh, does this means he will drop his future roles as female characters? And renounce everything he said about being lesbian? I mean, how can you come out as lesbian if apparently you were a straight man all along?

Frankly if this was just some random actress whatever, it's her life. But it's really disappointing coming from an actress that turned herself into a lesbian icon, that was upfront about her sexuality, but apparently he was never a woman, so also not a lesbian woman.

In a post where he mentions the words "trans" and "queer" multiple times, not once there is a mention of "lesbian" or "gay" - although these were the words Ellen used before, these were the communities she fought for. But apparently we were just stones to step on the way.

I wonder if her wife will now have to come out as bi/straight.

8bitgay · 2020-10-08T01:03:13+00:00

They talk about erasure yet they want to erase how a person described himself. Funny. If Marsha was still alive this would be gaslighting.

8bitgay · 2020-08-10T23:44:57+00:00

You are NOT LGBTQIA+ if you do not have the T.

Talk about missing the point.

But yeah, funny how they can create groups only for trans people, groups only for nonbinary, but a group only for LGB is always seen as a personal offense.

8bitgay · 2021-01-23T03:50:21+00:00

They're """""feminists""""" that, for their very weird, antisocial, bigoted and nonscientific beliefs, treat trans women as "not real women" and try to erase them from womanhood.

I always find it so funny that they say others can't gatekeep who is woman, who is lesbian, etc... But they love gatekeeping that "TERFs" aren't real feminists. If they identify as feminists then they are feminists, isn't this their own rule?

8bitgay · 2020-09-11T22:59:41+00:00

go outside and meet real people

She says this yet her entire point is based on replicating stuff she heard online. If she went outside she'd see that lesbians still wanna have sex with female genitals.

8bitgay · 2021-02-02T04:41:29+00:00

They think they need to state that these people have periods because they think it'll come as a surprise.

But you know, except for the 2 bearded ones if I saw any of these people with clothes I'd just assume they're butch lesbians. It's no surprise that butch women have periods.

8bitgay · 2021-02-10T21:41:02+00:00

I've said this on this sub already, but: gay men can buy dildos too lol I dunno why transmen always use dildos as a "gotcha" argument as if they were the only ones that have access to dildos.

First of all, dildos and real dicks aren't the same thing. That should be obvious to anyone. But sure, even if you're into dildos, if you're a gay man there's no reason why you'd want to play with dildos with a woman. You can either play with another man who has a real dick, or play by yourself.

8bitgay · 2020-08-12T21:06:06+00:00

Hold them accountable. If the lgbTQ+ crowd suddenly decide to "cancel" organizations like Mermaids, you can bet we'll hear the same arguments as always. "No trans person supports it", "those who support it are just a small minority, you can't blame the rest of us for it", etc. These same groups are fine with villainizing gay/lesbian people.

If this organization really gets "canceled", we must not let people forget who supported it and who criticized it.

8bitgay · 2021-02-16T14:33:56+00:00

I'm a gay man

I'm nonbinary masc

They can't even be consistent in a single tweet lol

Also someone should go tell her that she's being transphobic against transwomen for trying to exclude them from the app. Gotta outwoke the homophobes.

8bitgay · 2021-02-08T03:59:52+00:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again: they know we can also buy dildos, right? If a gay guy wanna play with a plastic dick he can either do it by himself or have another guy (who also has a penis) do it for him. No need for transmen to be involved.

8bitgay · 2021-02-05T20:18:30+00:00

I saw a fair few complaining about how this subreddit was no longer safe for them or catered to "Real Lesbians".

So just as a fucking reiteration, TERFs THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE!

"I saw people complaining this place was no longer safe for real lesbians, so to be clear: it isn't"

8bitgay · 2020-12-09T18:08:15+00:00

Somehow I forgot to include this part.

It's amazingly bad. To them a transman is definitely a real man, but a feminine man is pretending to be someone else. And if you wear make up you're a drag queen apparently.

They try so hard to be inclusive to transpeople but it always involves being super restrictive about gender norms. Being compared to a feminine men is bad because to them men need to be masculine.

8bitgay · 2020-12-02T15:03:56+00:00

Just like an incel that is rude to women, demands sex from them, and then gets shocked and offended when they don't get a positive response.

8bitgay · 2020-10-04T20:31:27+00:00

I mean, yeah, describing cock as God's greatest gift to gay men isn't far from truth. Probably the most reasonable thing said in the entire post, although it was meant as sarcasm.

I bet many lesbians and straight/bi men also find vaginas God's greatest gift. But of course you need to go after the group who isn't interested in it, uh?

And it's not sexism to acknowledge the opposite sex is hard to date. Sure gay/lesbian relationships have their own issues, but straight relationships are loaded with society's expectations and stereotypes. When I date another man we don't have to deal with expectations on how should men treat women or how should women treat men.

8bitgay · 2020-08-16T16:55:42+00:00

There's this gay porn actor who recently came out as non-binary. It's funny because although now they identify as non-binary, he still does gay porn, and he's still ok with other gay porn profiles sharing his content.

I dislike the way trans tries to infiltrate gay/lesbian spaces and claim our sexualities, but at least they're consistent. For me non-binary are even more problematic. They will claim to be a special different gender and say that you have to respect their identity and their pronouns, but whenever it's useful they're fine with taking gay and lesbian identities.

There's a downvoted comment on the thread saying this:

Gathering an echo chamber from all the other gaycels on this sub are not going to fix your problem

It's actually frustrating to see this term "gaycel" being used like this by them. The TQ+ crowd has been acting like incels for so long, demanding sexual interest from others, and this guy has the nerve to call us the incels lol

8bitgay · 2021-01-08T03:36:24+00:00

once the gender binary is abolished, the concept of gender based attraction wouldn't make sense anymore when there is no gender

Self-awarewolves?

I mean, you just said the answer yourself. You can't base attraction on gender, especially with how quickly TRAs change the concepts of gender. Also gender stereotypes vary a lot based on culture and times. So instead you can base it on, you know, sex.

8bitgay · 2020-11-29T20:40:13+00:00

There's this idea that only people of a certain minority can reclaim a slur used towards that minority.

In that context, when a transman who claims to be gay uses homophobic slurs, it's like saying "I can use these words because I'm gay". When they keep using these slurs and nobody calls them out, it's like the people around them are supporting their idea that they're a real gay man.

At the same time, it serves as a way to be offensive towards actual gay men. And if these gay complain about being called homophobic slurs, well, you can call them transphobes for it.

So for them it's killing two birds with one stone.

8bitgay · 2020-09-06T15:12:21+00:00

“about members of random groups dressing up as the opposite gender in a general way that has the intention of being as funny as possible”.

... isn't this how drag queens always are? Do they ban RuPaul's Drag Race from being watched there too?

I don't even like drag queens, but it's amazing how the TRA thinks everything is about them.

8bitgay · 2020-11-21T21:59:04+00:00

Person A: Jokes on you, I'm bi

Person B: Please never say that to a trans person ever. I know if someone told me that I would be very upset. We want to be seen as our preferred gender and saying that it's ok because you are bi implies that we will always be out birth gender.

I don't have much to add because the quote kinda speaks for itself.

8bitgay · 2020-09-06T01:48:52+00:00

This illustrates perfectly why we need to drop the T. If same-sex couples cannot discuss our shared experiences without being accused of bigotry, we cannot speak for ourselves as a distinct group of people.

This so much! I think that the issue is that people think too much just about identity. And sure, being able to identify openly as gay is important for me, it'd be awful if I had to pretend to be straight to everyone. But groups are not just about identity. There are real world consequences tied to the differences between different groups. We can't possibly discuss and study these differences if everybody is claiming to be different groups.

Sure, there are differences within a group itself. There are gay men out there who will say "I've never experienced homophobia" in a poll. But the poll results will be very different if half of the gay men you interview are actually straight.

By the way, in the topic of real life differences between different groups... I think it'd be interesting to see data on how many transmen who get pregnant claim to be men when it's time to get father's leave, or how many transmen claim to be men when it's time to retire, or how many transmen claim to be men in countries where military service is only mandatory for men...

8bitgay · 2021-01-05T18:50:43+00:00

Literally nobody says that genial preference is transphobic. Just if I pass well and I ask out a lesbian on a date. But they turn me down just for being trans. I'm gonna feel like shit. Its putting genitalia first rather than actual attraction.

LITERALLY NOBODY SAYS THAT YOU CAN'T HAVE GENITAL PREFERENCES. Anyway, here's why you can't have genital preferences...

8bitgay · 2020-12-26T03:58:21+00:00

TRAs making homophobic and even violent tweets: allowed

Sharing these tweets so people can't deny they exist: not allowed

8bitgay · 2020-12-02T13:25:32+00:00

102 upvotes, many positive comments. But sure, this never happens, and when it happens it's just some isolated case that no one supports.

8bitgay · 2020-10-04T20:33:40+00:00

I thought non-binary meant being neither a man nor a woman.

It means that when it's time to show how you're unique and beyond that antiquated gender binary.

It doesn't mean that when you realize that not being a man/woman would lock you out of gay/lesbian sexuality and spaces.

8bitgay · 2020-08-27T17:19:59+00:00

I mean, as a top, if ur main focus is ass, why fuck an asshole when u can fuck a vagina.

Funny with how much they love saying "if you date a transman you don't need to use his female genital!!!"

So, straight people are allowed to rule out gay men from "their own space"? Please elaborate what "their own space" means

I dunno, I guess I should go on planned parenthood clinics and demand to discuss gay issues instead of pregnancy. Or maybe I should go to a straight strip club and demand to see male performers. Do these people really think straight people don't create their own spaces too, for many reasons?

Person A: I feel nothing when I see women's vaginas, but for some trans men's, its kinda hot. They put the content out there. If you dont enjoy it, fine. Scroll past it.

Person B: We don't tell women to scroll past unsolicited dick pics, we actively build a culture where its inappropriate to send them.

That's a good response.

You’re attracted to gender presentation, not sex.

I love the lack of consistency. All this talk about gender identity and transmen, and then they mention gender presentation, which is a different issue altogether.

The Conservative angle is easy, any infighting means they get to capitalize on it and drive a wedge between us

I mean, if you care so much about creating divides maybe leave gays and lesbians alone, gosh.

Edit: to be frank I also think that these threads often have kinda inflammatory comments that don't help our side

8bitgay · 2020-08-18T13:52:57+00:00

These people talk as if they're being banned from gay subs. As if somehow mods are looking through their profiles, seeing that they post in trans subs, and then banning them for it.

I've never seen an issue of a trans person commenting on gay subs in regular posts and then being replied something like "omg you're trans, get out of here!!!". They aren't even being unwelcomed.

But if you create thread after thread of "I'm trans, would you date me?", don't expect people to all answer yes. They pretend to be asking a question and be interested in honest answers but won't accept honest answers.

8bitgay · 2021-02-08T23:14:19+00:00

Honestly in my opinion straight men shouldn't be welcomed on a sub called actuallesbians

What about if a transwoman who still identifies as a cis straight man goes to the sub while on her process of self discovery?

... No, I don't actually believe that, but they do. And the double standard is absurd to me. You can't both say that men are bad and not allowed in your space and that anyone can be a lesbian and be included in your space if they identify this way.

8bitgay · 2020-10-08T04:03:11+00:00

The event is being produced as part of the #MakeItGay live reads series, founded during COVID-19 quarantine as a way to “reimagine typically white, straight, cis and male films into ones with diverse casts of various queer people.”

The nerve of calling this series Make It Gay.

I might dislike it when they try to force queer as an umbrella term for us... But I hate it even more when they use gay as an umbrella term for them, especially in situations like this that they use the word "gay" while also making actual gayness problematic.

8bitgay · 2020-09-17T15:23:09+00:00

It's almost amusing that they're framing "I don't feel queer enough" as if it's a positive thing but then go out to criticize gays and lesbians for not being queer enough.

8bitgay · 2020-08-26T21:48:30+00:00

It's so weird to have a community for her that is so adamantly against her views. I mean, if I believed a certain writer was super homophobic I wouldn't be in a community to support him.

8bitgay · 2020-08-22T22:03:05+00:00

It would’ve just been nice if it was a couple where one transitioned and they stayed together and it just would have added a whole other level of wholesome to the post.

So, hm, are you supposed to stay with your partner even after he/she comes out as trans? Isn't attraction based on gender identity to them? If the girl was straight and the guy actually transitioned, wouldn't that mean that the girl is invalidating the partner's gender identity?

Staying with your partner after transition makes no sense if you follow their logic of gender.

8bitgay · 2020-08-16T20:15:04+00:00

lgbTQ+: you owe it all to us! A trans woman started the Stonewall riots!

also lgbTQ+ after being shown sources of Marsha himself saying he wasn't trans and didn't started the riots: omg why are you so obsessed with who started the riots?

8bitgay · 2020-12-23T02:22:19+00:00

like op is basically saying “homophobe attacks you for not liking dick? Well you show him who’s boss by .... taking dick?” Like ugh, no thanks.

oh this is so rapey.

These are upvoted comments. I guess even in a sub like this there are people with some sense. They might not be commenting themselves but they upvote these comments. It is kinda uplifting, frankly.

No I've just been ignoring the others, yours seemed way more terfy though and hey just think of a dick like a permanent strap on

Meanwhile OP's reply to a lesbian who got uncomfortable by the thread.

8bitgay · 2020-12-04T16:42:46+00:00

It's funny how much I can relate with this comic.

Growing up I was mocked for not having masculine interests. I was mocked for having feminine interests. I got long hair and found myself a bit sad for not looking more feminine. I'd try out my female relatives dresses when I was home alone. I've went to stores and looked through female outfits and heard homophobic remarks by people working at the stores.

But that's where the relating stops. For starters, I'm gay, not interested in women. And all this time it was just about my interests and the way I wanted to express myself. I never thought I was a woman because of it. Not following gender norms doesn't make me trans.

In fact, nowadays I'm much less feminine than I was in my teen years. Still, I wouldn't stop myself from buying clothing at women's stores, if I feel like it. I wouldn't stop myself from wearing dresses or skirts in rare occasions, even though it's been years since I last wore one. That's because interests change over time.

Back then I didn't have much contact with the gay community. Back then people were less aware about TQ+ causes, so the times I had contact with the gay community people just saw me as an androgynous gay man. And that's all I was, indeed.

Nowadays, though, when I talk about these things, people start saying "maybe you're non-binary" and such.

8bitgay · 2020-11-24T17:06:53+00:00

"I have several, they're made of silicone" is such a weak response. They act like only FtM discovered dildoes exist. Meanwhile plenty of gay men out there have their silicone dildoes while also having their actual dicks.

And one of the few things I know about this show is that it was supposed to be gritty, and the gay characters often went through complex storylines and experienced homophobia. But the moment they introduce a FtM character it has to be a sanitized narrative that completely follows the protrans ideology.

It's also hilarious how they keep pressuring gay men to date them but when they face rejection suddenly it's "I can fuck any guy here, I don't need your cisgender ass". Truly like incels who say the girl who rejected them is ugly.

8bitgay · 2021-02-05T22:44:29+00:00

Yeah, it's almost funny that they say that the WLW community was never a place for lesbians. No one ever thought that communities that call themselves WLW/MLM would be spaces for actual lesbians/gay men lol

8bitgay · 2021-01-30T22:34:08+00:00

23:59 "Well, you might dislike the word queer but it's not a slur, it's been reclaimed. Lots of people identify as queer and you have to respect them."

00:00 "Yeah, the word homosexual is offensive, just because some gay people use it doesn't make it right. People who identify as it should use other words to call themselves."

8bitgay · 2021-01-09T02:47:27+00:00

This topic was probably what peaked me.

A homosexual couple can't make a child on its own. Yeah, you can have a child with another person, you can adopt, but you can't have a child simply by having sex with your same-sex partner. This can be a good or a bad thing depending on whether you want a child.

But nevertheless, it's a big point about homosexuality and the prejudice we face. Homophobes often target us by saying we can't have children. They often accuse us of not fulfilling our "biological mission". Many religions say that having children is an important, even essential part of life. Families often pressure gay/lesbian people into having kids. Even our existence is questioned, because for a lot of people we only exist to have kids.

So to say we might someday just have kids with a trans partner... It's not only failing to realize we want same sex partners, it completely ignores all the homophobia we've went through precisely because we can't have kids with our partners. They manage to be offensive two ways at once.

And they aren't fine with just saying "I'm gay but someday I might have a kid with a trans partner". They have to say "you're gay so someday you might have a kid with a trans partner".

8bitgay · 2021-01-05T15:37:27+00:00

No, you don't have to justify your reasons, but if your reasons could be bigoted, you may want to take the time to unpack them.

I wonder if they realize how gaslighting they are. You can't say "you don't need to justify your reasons" and then go on to say how your reasons are bad and you have to unpack them.

If you are excluding an entire group of people, based solely on their membership in that group, you are bigoted. Reasons matter.

If not dating someone actually means being bigoted, then what you're doing is just making the word "bigoted" lighter. Also come on, this person is all over the thread claiming that preferences are bad and people's reasons are bad, but then they go to say "you don't have to justify your reasons".

8bitgay · 2020-11-29T19:21:19+00:00

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that to her face,” Eric explained dismissively as I called him out on his inappropriate, flippant remark. “I only say that here because it’s fine among us guys. You know I love you, sweetheart. Just not vaginas. Eww. This should be a place for cocks only. Nice, big cocks.”

Eric seems like the type of guy I'd be friends with.

Is it really fine to talk this way? Even “among us guys”? I know there are cisgender men out there that are bothered by these types of remarks and even feel uncomfortable hearing them.

She says, while also finding it impossible to refer to gay men using non offensive words. Apparently gay men being bothered and uncomfortable by a homophobic word doesn't matter.

I’ve stood in leather bars while title holders who call themselves trans-inclusive yammer about how men whose dicks aren’t big enough are just a waste of air. I’ve heard size queens exclaim outright that any man with a two inch dick might as well just kill himself and end the shameful misery.

And surely she couldn't care less about small sized gay men that might feel bad because of this, they're just colateral damage in her argument.

I would never legitimately be recognized in my community?

I'm pretty sure TQ+ communities would accept you. Maybe you'd realize that if you didn't waste so much time forcing another community that isn't yours to fit you.

8bitgay · 2020-10-29T02:53:24+00:00

Sometimes I think that the best reply might be agreeing with them 200%.

"Totally agree! Everyone that feels any discomfort related to genitals should seek treatment to stop caring about them."

Edit: or:

"I used to have genital preferences too, but now I got over it! I started dating transmen, now I'm bi!"

8bitgay · 2020-10-15T00:43:05+00:00

Barring trauma (which you should work through instead of unhealthily avoiding), there's no reason for you to be afraid or unsettled by a set of genitals. I find that so weird and counterproductive. All of our bodies are different, it's just one piece.

So, going by this I assume this person is also against sex change surgeries. After all, there's no need to be unsettled by your set of genitals. It's just one piece.

8bitgay · 2020-09-17T17:57:33+00:00

A common argument I see is that trans people can be gay/lesbian too, so while they can have trans-only space, a transgay would fit a gay-only space and a translesbian would fit a lesbian-only space.

I've also seen the point of "this is a gay space, not a cis gay space!!!", but of course if we started creating spaces that were explicitly cis gay only they would complain about it too.

8bitgay · 2021-02-09T13:58:04+00:00

I've been hanging out with liberal cishet people a lot in the past years because they accept me more. Since they're also monosexual they understand my sexuality in a way that not everyone in the queer community does right now. I'm not attracted to someone's gender, but to their sex/visible sexual characteristics, and all the cishets I know are the same.

It's refreshing to read this type of comment on Reddit. This seems like a good sub, or at least the thread got good replies. I feel like there are no subs like this for gay men right now.

8bitgay · 2021-01-28T14:54:03+00:00

Ah, yes, the most persecuted people: the heteroromantic demisexuals. They've went through so much struggle.

I don't even think this type of stuff is out of malice. OP was trying to be inclusive. But doing it without critical thinking can easily become offensive. It's like if a hurricane completely destroyed one city but then instead of talking about this city you keep saying "we need to support USA as a whole", completely avoiding to talk about the specific group of people that was affected.

8bitgay · 2020-11-29T19:23:06+00:00

It's interesting how she makes it a life and death situation... While also using a slur that has continuously been used by homophobes who actually kill gay men.

8bitgay · 2020-10-12T19:02:48+00:00

Keep an eye out for what? Actual same-sex attracted people like myself filling out your survey and telling you we don't want to be called queer?

Amazing comment. You might disagree from us, but if you're gonna make a survey with "LGBTQ+" don't pretend we don't exist just because we don't fit your narrative.

It reminds me of the Boystown situation. They made a survey and most people decide to keep the name Boystown... But they changed it anyway. If you're gonna be arbitrary about it then making a survey is irrelevant, because you're just gonna ignore the survey anyway.

It's also bizarre because they can't decide if they're the most oppressed or the most accepted group ever. Often they'll say that they're most oppressed than anyone else. But when they see statistics like "only X% of gay men would date a transman" they claim that actually all gay men would date them and it's just a dozen of TERFs trolling the statistics.

8bitgay · 2020-09-09T02:51:12+00:00

I think what "peaked" me maybe wasn't even the TQ+ people themselves, but the double standards. Around 3, 4 years ago I started noticing more and more aggressiveness and negativity towards gay men. Not only from TQ+, by the way, this also came from gay/bi men and straight/bi women (lesbian women tended to be cool). At the same time, the whole "gay men feel attracted to transmen"/"transmen are also gay" discourse started getting more popular.

And more and more I started noticing the double standards. People were being very negative towards gay men and towards gayness as a whole for poor reasons, while trans/queer men got away with doing much worse. 5, 6 years ago I saw people saying that gay men need to feel attracted to transmen, but it was a fringe viewpoint. A couple years ago, though, I saw it becoming more and more mainstream among gay groups.

Around the same time, the term "incel" was getting popular and lots of people were criticizing incel guys, or saying that this and that was an incel-like attitude. I guess this was part of the issue too, because it was kinda surreal to see people talking so much about straight incel guys but being unable to see the incel attitudes going inside of the LGBTQ+ community.

8bitgay · 2020-09-03T02:15:13+00:00

I mean, nobody is stopping you from making an app only for transpeople and people who are OK with dating transpeople. Make a pan app, I dunno. I think this is a time the pansexual label would be valid, to identify people who feel attracted to trans.

That is the weird thing, they might say "I just want to live" but somehow having sex with gays and lesbians is part of just living? I mean, lots of gay men have trouble finding dates, finding love, having sex, etc., it isn't easy for anyone. But when it comes to transpeople not only they think it should be easy, they also think it should be a basic right.

8bitgay · 2020-08-17T14:53:42+00:00

A: leave gay men alone.

B: Leave trans gay men alone and maybe I might

A: we are ready to leave them alone and let them have their own community. Put your money where your mouth is, love.

B: But this is their community, they’re gay bros who happen to be trans. And judging by the comments on this post, y’all clearly aren’t ready to leave trans peeps alone. This isn’t cisgaybros, or transgaybros, it’s gay bros.

Gosh I love this exchange.

They should be honest and say that they what they really demand is sex. If trans men just wanna take part in discussions, they can. It's not like others can know which username is really gay or not. There are many straight and lesbian users in these gay subs, and you don't see them making threads about it. The reason why trans men demand so much to be included is not because they're being banned from discussions. It's because they want to not only be includeed in our groups and our discussions, but also in our sexual lives.

8bitgay · 2021-02-13T15:25:54+00:00

Ah, yeah, that fun guessing game. Who said that, a conservative homophobe or a TRA? Who said that, an incel or a TRA?

8bitgay · 2021-02-12T14:42:55+00:00

your forgetting bottom surgery and strap ons

Stop heterosplaining us, we didn't forget about these, we simply don't care about them.

Most of the transmen I know are objectively more masculine looking than I am... and I'm pretty much a muscle bear. All that testosterone really buffs them up and brings out the body hair.

Interesting that when gay guys are naturally masculine they're called masc4masc and problematic. But transmen being overly masculine because of hormones is seem as a quality.

8bitgay · 2021-02-12T14:38:15+00:00

I wish this type of view got more popular. They're homophobic against us anyway, so at least be homophobic while promoting a split so we LGB people can be left alone.

8bitgay · 2020-11-24T00:21:09+00:00

Ok, even if TERFs were in the wrong. If you're a lesbian and this is a lesbian flag, then this is your flag, right? Don't they always say that you can't decide someone's identity for them? Don't they always say the person knows their own identity and you can't question it? Don't they always say that someone's identity is valid even if they are a bad person? I'm sure that they wouldn't say Buck Angel isn't trans even though they've turned Buck into an enemy.

But interestingly this only works for TQ+ identities. If you're a lesbian using a lesbian flag, you have to prove you're on their side, otherwise you can't use your flag. Another thing they often say is that users of subs like LGBDropTheT are all actually straight people. When we disagree with them, suddenly they can assume we aren't LGB, suddenly they can decide our identities...

8bitgay · 2020-09-29T01:12:34+00:00

But as we tend to be more discreet (because guess what, we have more personality than being gay), it's harder to find ourselves.

This is one of the saddest things about how the TQ+ narrative spread. We are already a minority, but now even the few spaces where we could find each other are mostly taken.

Gosh, do you remember when you could go to LGB spaces and see people just talking about casual stuff? And people sharing their experiences of homophobia and giving each other support too. Now it's hard to spend a week in a LGB space without someone bringing up trans issues...

8bitgay · 2020-08-22T21:55:27+00:00

Honestly sports show to me how quickly the TRA spread their narrative.

I think the most common viewpoint of the LGBT community a few years ago was "trans people don't need to be in sports with cis people, you just need to respect them and their gender". Even trans people said that.

Nowadays this view would probably be banned from many communities.

Frankly at this point they might as well just make all sports mixed gender. If they say biological differences aren't an issue, then why even separate men and women?

8bitgay · 2020-08-12T02:47:09+00:00

we’ll all have a much happier pride month if we stand up for each other against the real sources of hatred

Ah, yes, the real sources of hatred are the lesbians.

I wonder if these people would be fine with saying that anyone can identify with other minorities, like racial minorities.

8bitgay · 2021-02-13T15:18:47+00:00

I mean, if gay men wanted to see straight porn just to look at the men they could just watch regular straight porn instead. Many more options too.

8bitgay · 2021-01-25T18:49:07+00:00

Caitlyn Jenner has had 6 kids with 3 different wives.

Isn't it funny how a transwoman was able to marry 3 different wives way before same-sex marriage was legal, way before lesbian women were able to marry other women? Almost like LGB experiences and fights are entirely tied to our sex.

8bitgay · 2021-01-22T04:11:48+00:00

Yeah, that. Even if you considered that transmen are just like cis men, the reality is still that there are more straight men than gay/bi men. And many gay/bi men are afraid of being open about their sexuality due to homophobia.

This is an issue we all pass as gay men. We simply have to accept that we have less dating options than straight people. It's interesting that they claim they are real gay men, but when confronted with an actual situation that gay men face they just genderhack their way out of it.

8bitgay · 2020-12-03T14:32:21+00:00

Normally I wouldn't say anything.

But it depends on the guy, of course. I've seen gay guys that date transmen and go around saying that other gay guys should also date transmen. They use themselves as examples, saying "see, I date a transman and I'm gay". In these cases it makes me want to say something because these people are actually damaging other gay men.

In these situations I'd say to flip it as a positive thing. Like "it's so cool to see you embracing your bisexuality".

8bitgay · 2020-10-16T15:21:28+00:00

Person A: I hate how my version graph would not include girl dick because I am uncomfortable with dicks (as a trans girl). it seems shitty and exclusionary as hell. still heccing valid AF.

Person B: Well no it's not exclusionary at all, it's just preferences.

Oh, nice to see that transwomen get to have preferences. More than what they "allow" lesbians and gays.

I aint seeing any enbys here 👀

Transwomen are women! Lesbians are attracted to women! So if someone identifies as woman they are part of lesbian sexuality! Oh, but also don't forget the non-binary people who don't identify as women but you're also supposed to include them because we love making contradictory rules about other people's sex lives.

8bitgay · 2020-10-14T00:41:06+00:00

I used to not think much of it. I think sexual orientation is better but sexual preference was an acceptable synonym.

But nowadays sexual preference is often used with undertones of genital preference. So I get skeptical when I hear someone using it.

8bitgay · 2020-10-09T15:45:42+00:00

[A]s many straight women will tell you, penises usually aren’t that appealing.

Ah yeah, we're conditioned to like dick, no one would naturally feel attracted to it. And saying that dicks aren't appealing is surely a very relatable thing for gays, trust me. /s

It's funny that here the writer only shows his own bias and how he can't actually relate to gay/bi man as much as he wants to be one.

8bitgay · 2021-02-17T03:37:02+00:00

If these lesbians all go to a new sub there won't be any "cis lesbian who centers lesbianism around cis women" left for them to complain. You'd imagine that since they're tired of it they'd like the split, but no.

8bitgay · 2021-02-12T04:02:46+00:00

Yeah, when trans people are forever whining about "chasers", why should they think that gay MEN wanna be fetishized, either? It's insulting and demoralizing.

This is so obvious yet I never realized it. But you're right. We're being fetishized for our ability of validating them.

8bitgay · 2021-01-26T15:48:59+00:00

Yeah, what do they consider "yelling it from the rooftops"? Because what I see is, for example, transpeople coming to gay/lesbian communities, asking if we would date them, and then getting mad when they hear a no. Is it yelling from the rooftops when you give a honest answer to people who insist on questioning you? On the other hand, I've never heard about LGB going to trans communities to tell them we wouldn't date them. And I'm sure that if that happened we wouldn't stop hearing about it.

Recently a Brazilian gay youtuber suffered attacks for saying he likes sucking dicks. He didn't even mention transmen, he didn't even mention he doesn't date transmen. He only said that he likes sucking dicks, in response to people shipping him with a cis woman. Is that yelling from the rooftops too?

When LGB people reject trans people's advances in a private conversation, and then trans people go online to say how this interaction was transphobic and how their preferences are bad, was that rejection yelling from the rooftops too?

They might say it's fine to have "preferences" as long as you don't shout it towards people. But this entire notion is homophobic, and their bar for "yelling from the rooftops" is really low.

8bitgay · 2020-10-05T20:51:18+00:00

I definitely think we need more GNC men/women in media.

8bitgay · 2020-10-05T15:51:23+00:00

'enlightened' teenagers who want to question everything about society and don't have the sex/relationships experience to know better (possibly haven't even finished puberty)

This explains a lot about social media and it's really bizarre to see actual adults aged 30+ who should know better retweeting these teens.

Social media would be less awful if they restricted it to adults only. Or at the very least make 18- accounts invisible to people who are 18+ and vice-versa.

8bitgay · 2020-09-17T18:00:20+00:00

I mean, for me it's because I like talking with a partner that can share and compare his experiences as a gay man with me. Even if there was some magical method that turned you 100% male, this would still mean that you lived a long part of your life as a woman and we're gonna have very different life experiences and perceptions.

8bitgay · 2020-09-06T01:16:54+00:00

Oh, are you sure that reducing people to their ability to reproduce is dehumanizing? Thanks for the transplaining, it's not like we gays and lesbians have been reduced for it for decades (centuries?).

8bitgay · 2020-09-03T16:01:30+00:00

Every single person who attends our GSA is AFAB. Every single one, and most are cis. Currently I'm the only man in attendance but even I am trans. Where are all the men?

Wait, so OP can acknowledge the difference between cis men and trans?

Comment A: Because everyone likes to shit on cis men and exclude them. They just don't feel welcomed when most people threaten violence against cis men. Just overgeneralizing the entire population of cis men.

Comment B: I've seen that happen a lot in the feminist collective at my university. At the beginning, the were 80% of AFAB people and all AMAB people were cis. At the end of the year, only lesbians and AFAB enbies stayed. I was somewhat respected because I was a trans guy, aka not-a-true-man

Gosh this is amazing, so close yet so far

8bitgay · 2020-08-17T17:57:06+00:00

Oh, but didn't you hear? There's a popular drag queen show on TV, so that completely negates the homophobia and lack of acceptance we have to endure. Now that cis gay men aren't oppresed anymore, the community must focus on the ones who are really being oppressed and need a voice, like, I dunno, the heteroromantic asexuals who aren't being denied any rights.

I wish I was just joking but I've actually seen people saying that we are the privileged ones of the community and that we need to give space to asexuals' fight lol

8bitgay · 2020-08-17T14:39:49+00:00

I have to write this because some people here felt threatened by a guy on the internet

So I guess whenever trans people feel rejected they should just assume that others are being sarcastic.

8bitgay · 2021-02-13T02:23:40+00:00

The rule, which was never finalized, could’ve resulted in transgender women being put in men’s homeless shelters.

I find it interesting how in these examples they always mention transwomen. So, uh, would they also find it terrible if transmen had to go to women's homeless shelters?

You know, I'd love to see more data on transmen. Because as far as I see we never hear about transmen in these situations. I never see transmen demanding to go to male prisons, to male shelters, to compete in male sports, etc.

8bitgay · 2021-02-02T22:39:54+00:00

"no one actually says ...", "no one is telling you to ...", and any other variants.

They're manipulative sentences that people always use to pretend that they didn't just say what they just said.

8bitgay · 2021-01-31T01:57:44+00:00

Yeah, I think many truscums believe in some sort of special threshold where the rule changes. If someone doesn't even try to pass as the opposite sex they agree with us: LG people won't feel attracted to these people. This at least is a more sane view than what TRAs in general believe.

But many truscums (though not all) believe that at some point this isn't true anymore. To them, if you transition enough and pass enough, then LG people have no reason to not feel attracted.

Still, overall I think we can at least have discussions with truscums, try to present our points, reason with them, etc. But if they dislike what TRAs do, if they dislike tucutes so much... Then they should be vocal about it. I know that truscums are often despised in LGBTQ+ communities but if they were more vocal it'd be harder to ignore them. People who dismiss everything we say because we're "cis" can't as easily dismiss them.

8bitgay · 2021-01-09T04:39:56+00:00

Gay and lesbian DO include trans people, and if you're attracted to non-binary people you're not gay and/or lesbian.

It's always funny when TRAs aren't updated to the wokest TRA views. You can probably be banned from ActualLesbians if you say lesbians aren't attracted to non-binary people.

Gay men have no business speaking on the sexuality of lesbians.

He said that after making the comment above mentioning lesbians

You're not a lesbian

And this was after the comment above

These were all comments made by the same person in the same train of comments. It's hilarious, he really can't decide if he can speak for lesbians or not.

Send me a message when ANYONE (cis or trans) is willing to fuck you and we can chat about trans discourse.

And it all ends with the incel tactic of "actually I wasn't into you anyway". Yeah, TRAs continuously demand attraction from gays/lesbians, continuously try to redefine our sexualities, continuously talk about their genitals in our spaces, continuously demand validation from you... But if you say anything about it suddenly they'll claim no one is interested in you.

8bitgay · 2020-12-30T00:03:19+00:00

It's kinda weird since second person in English doesn't even include gender. If you're talking with somebody you wouldn't even use gendered words, you is neutral.

This is something I find weird about all those "she/her" and "he/him" profiles. It's like people think they're hot topics that everyone is talking about lol

8bitgay · 2020-12-20T23:41:11+00:00

similar to how "ex-gays" act about gay people

It's funny when they compare situations that aren't comparable at all.

Most "ex-gays" are just gay/bi men peer pressured into trying to fit heterosexuality. If you're an actual straight man who was confused about your sexuality once and thought you weren't straight, then well, you don't need to do anything about it. The only thing you'd need to do if you realize you're straight is stop dating men, lol. It's just an issue of saying "I wasn't sure about my sexuality but now I figured out I'm straight".

Meanwhile if you realize you're not trans, that might happen after you already took hormones, or legally changed your name, or even had surgeries done. If this is your situation, there are many issues that might happen during this process, and talking with people that went through a similar situation might help.

8bitgay · 2020-12-13T01:17:54+00:00

They: "YOU OWE IT ALL TO US, TRANSWOMAN MARSHA STARTED GAY RIGHTS BY THROWING A STONE AT STONEWALL. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT AND YOU SHOULD CARE ABOUT IT"

Us: "actually Marsha identified himself as a man and claimed that he only went to Stonewall after the riot already started. Also, the gay and lesbian fight had a long history before and after Stonewall"

They: "WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THIS? IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO STARTED WHAT!"

Also, isn't it interesting how we're supposed to follow how people identify themselves and follow their chosen pronouns and gender identities, yet they can decide that Marsha was wrong about his gender identity and that we shouldn't follow how he identified himself?

No, they don't really think misgendering is bad. When they feel like it, misgendering becomes good.

8bitgay · 2020-11-21T21:50:54+00:00

Fuckem, you're stunning and are brave as fuck for living your reality. End of story.

The funny thing about this is that it applies to you (the trans reader) but not to them (the cis people). They are not stunning and brave for living their reality of not feeling attracted to you. If a gay man doesn't feel attracted to transmen he isn't simply living his reality and end of story, they'll keep dragging the story until it goes their way.

This isn't even just a TRA thing by the way. This is a problem I often have with internet dating advices, because it's based on supporting the reader "you" and criticizing "them", often in conflicting ways. A point I've seen often, for example, is that "you" don't need to date anyone that doesn't fit your standards, but "they" are evil if they reject you for not fitting their standards.

Having a genital preference is perfectly fine. Refusing to date someone just because they are trans alone is not, imo.

I wish they just stopped with this lie of saying genital "preferences" are fine and with the gaslighting of pretending they never try to pressure us. If our "preferences" were really fine for them that thread wouldn't exist.

8bitgay · 2020-09-05T03:01:44+00:00

“Gay doesn’t use the word sex,” he said. “Lesbian doesn’t use the word sex. Homosexual does.”

So does bisexual, pansexual, asexual... Heterosexual too, although in English the term straight is more common. "Straight" is an English slang, but in many other languages there isn't a similar slang, so people use words similar to "heterosexual".

Sure, people might use "homo" to offend others, but people also use "gay" to offend others.

8bitgay · 2021-02-04T03:45:58+00:00

Going by that logic then bisexuals must be non-binary trapped in binary bodies or something.

8bitgay · 2021-01-30T22:29:39+00:00

I really hope the teacher just created this question to generate a debate and maybe be able to teach about consent. Not in a loaded "you're wrong if you answer no" way.

During high school I wasn't dating anyone at all. It'd be bizarre to answer this question.

8bitgay · 2021-01-04T00:24:31+00:00

The whole trap issue is hilarious because of the parallel to queer. Anilist (an anime website/community) even banned the word for being transphobic.

People wanna call themselves queer? Sure, even though it makes some LGB people uncomfortable! It's a valid identity after all! And let's even call the community at large queer, and call others queer even if they don't like using the word!

People wanna call themselves trap? Wait, it makes trans people uncomfortable, so let's ban it! And let's pretend no one identifies as that, so we don't have to think about it as a valid identity!

8bitgay · 2020-12-20T03:17:24+00:00

I find it funny when they say "you don't need to date transmen, I'm just ask for you to think about your preferences".

Ok, what if I gave some deep thinking about it and still I won't date a transman? The answer is that they'll keep telling me to examine my preferences. Because "examine your preferences" doesn't mean "think about yourself and reach your own conclusion", it just means "rethink until you reach our conclusion".

8bitgay · 2020-11-22T15:44:04+00:00

If a physically, stereotypically masc trans man had also had sexual reassignment surgery on all external sexual organs, would this still be an incompatibility for you?

I mean, apart from all the other issues, it's hilarious how they think surgery will suddenly give you a real functioning dick identical to cis men. Hell, not even their chests come out like men, let alone a penis.

8bitgay · 2020-10-18T01:27:38+00:00

I'm glad that when it comes to gay porn manga/art, transmen are almost nowhere to be seen. They might force themselves into our communities but at least they haven't been able to force gay artists to draw transmen (so far).

Awful to know the situation is not the same for you girls. It seems like the name of some "lesbian" subs are unfortunately ironic.

8bitgay · 2020-08-09T18:00:47+00:00

Frankly I think a reason it works so well with gays and lesbians is due to internalized homophobia. We're told our entire lives that our sexuality is wrong, so it's harder to stand up for it. Some of us suffer a life of homophobia before finding a bit of shelter in LGBT groups, so it's hard to not follow what the rest of the group is saying when you feel like this group is the only one that somewhat accepts you.

There are many straight men who love virtue signaling and to show their white/cis/straight guilt, but in the end of the day they come from a completely different mindset. A gay guy could be kicked out of all (or most of) the gay spaces he knows for reffusing to date trans men. But a straight man wouldn't ever be missing spaces that embrace his sexuality.

8bitgay · 2021-01-26T15:54:53+00:00

The relevant part is "keep it a secret" IMO.

I mean, yeah, I know lots of cis men have sex with transwomen in secret. Because they're actually gay/bi men in the closet who have sex with transwomen as a way to fulfill their homosexual desires while also being able to justify to themselves that "it's not really gay".

8bitgay · 2020-11-07T04:38:16+00:00

I love the attention to detail, like the "woke homophobia" sign.

8bitgay · 2020-10-09T15:38:45+00:00

Sorry for the wall of text incoming.

The title itself already shows how they fetishize us. I don't need to deny attraction to transmen. There's a small amount of cis men I find attractive. If I'm so selective with cis men, there's no chance I'd find a transman attractive.

These people might see us as over sexual beings who can barely stop ourselves from wanting to have sex with everyone. In their eyes, we're here getting horny by transmen all the time and just stop feeling attracted when they take the pants off and we notice their vaginas. And sure, the genital is a huge part of the deal. But I bet that for most of us it doesn't even get to that point. Sorry to break your fantasy but you don't need to tell me your genital for me to feel unattracted.

No one’s saying that you have to sleep with us, just that you examine the lens through which you determine desirability

Please just stop with the gaslighting.

Cisgender gay men in relationships with transgender men are still gay [...] To disagree is to misgender us.

Wait, is attraction based on genders now? We hear all the time that it's based on secondary characteristics. So, are gay men attracted to all people who identify as men, or all people who have "masculine" secondary characteristics? What about non-binary people who call themselves gay?

This is another very frustrating thing, they'll say something and then pretend to forget that other TQ+ people are saying things that contradict what they just said.

Asia is the largest continent in the world, its inhabitants comprising the majority of the world’s population.

This is such a bizarre analogy. Sure, Asia is the largest continent in the world. Japanese are very different from Russian people who are very different from Iranian people who are very different from Indian people... But yeah, this simply isn't the same for trans people. Transmen all have features in common, features that go beyond being born in the same continent.

Essentially, they’ll look at a cute guy, feel that spark of attraction, but if they find out he’s transgender, they’ll exclude him intellectually as someone they “should” be attracted to.

That's what I said above. Nah, sorry, I didn't need to exclude intelectually, I don't feel that spark of attraction to begin with. And even if someone feels that spark of attraction and loses it - so what? Is it an issue if you lose this initial attraction if you find out someone is underage? Or if you find out someone has an unpleasant personality? There are many situations when people won't develop attraction further even if at an initial moment they might think "oh, that person looks nice".

I can say about the opposite, there were times when I didn't feel that spark of attraction initially but it grew over time as I felt attracted to the guy as a whole - including the dick, because I'm gay.

There’s also a difference between being attracted to someone and being willing to date them.

So you're saying that we don't need to date you, we just need to "not deny" when we feel attracted. Cool, but how does this even translate to the real world? The whole text only makes sense if the issue is "you don't date us", but they have to pretend that "nobody is asking you to date us".

A preference implies an openness to multiple options. However, most people who say they “prefer” people with vaginas wouldn’t ever consider dating someone with a penis.

They basically bullied people into saying they have genital preferences and then complain about the term. Sure, preference isn't the right term, that I can agree. They are requirements. So what?

No one’s saying that everyone has to sleep with transgender people (or any other oppressed group) lest they reveal that they’re actually a raging bigot, simply that they should examine the lens through which they determine desirability.

Again, the text has made it clear multiple times this is not the case. Please stop with the gaslighting of telling people to examine their own views, to be open minded. Because if someone examine their own views and reach the conclusion they aren't into trans people, you'll keep telling them to examine their own views until they change their mind.

bisexual, nonbinary, transgender, pseudonymous “man.”

And the writer is nonbinary on top of all. Amazing how the writer "forgot" to include anything about it on his rant.

I wouldn't have considered myself bisexual prior to discovering my attraction to women. I was very much not attracted to women up until that point, and aware of that. My sexuality just shifted.

And the writer even claims that he was a gay man that shifted towards bisexuality. No, he didn't realize he was bisexual, he shifted.

Also, since we're talking about genitals, do these people realize the same could apply to cis straight couples? A woman might find a man attractive and then lose attraction when she realizes he has a small dick. Or if her friend used to date him and tells her that he has a small dick. Yet if a cis man made a long rant about how cis women can't have genital preferences and have to stop losing attraction because of small dicks, everyone would recognize that as very sexist and problematic. If you rewrite these TQ+ rants and make them about cis men and women, it's pretty clear how incel-like they are.

Or maybe even worse than incel-like. As bad as incels are I've never seen incels using this tactic of pressuring people into doing X while saying "nobody is telling you to do X".

8bitgay · 2020-09-17T17:55:50+00:00

I've seen a few transmen in porn. I like following the Twitter feed of some gay men pornstars, and unfortunately more and more "gay" pornstars are recording videos with transmen. I watched some of these videos, some because there was no warning of it being trans content, and some because I was curious. I mean, I need to know what I'm talking about, right?

And without fail, 100% of their genitals looked nothing like dicks. Also 100% of them were having penis-in-vagina intercourse. Many of the videos were taped in angles that you could easily think it's just regular straight porn, they didn't even make an effort to showcase the transman masculine features.

But I love how the TQ+ keeps pushing this image of "most transmen don't want to use their genitals! Many transmen have dicks too! Transmen are just like men except for the genitals!".

(edit for grammar)

8bitgay