Tipping when the waitress didn't smile?

submitted by omegakv from self.whatever

This last time I went to a restaurant I got an attractive young woman as my waitress, and I felt like the experience was ruined because she was not smiling or acting friendly when she was talking to me. I couldn't put my finger on why, but I got vibes that she just hated me for some reason. I looked at her when she was talking to another table and she seemed a lot more friendly to them than to me, and this made me feel like I was worthless. In the end I gave her her 15% because there wasn't anything I could quantify that was wrong about the service, but I felt very shitty about it, because although she didn't do anything wrong per se, I felt like she ruined my night.

I have had servers I liked who didn't smile. But this girl just seemed like a massive cunt. If you are a man or an older woman, I think it can be fine not to smile. But I feel like if you are an attractive young girl, then you absolutely must smile or else it is offensive. I feel like by giving her the full 15% I am just reinforcing her cunt attitude, and that now she is going to go serve the next lonely guy while not smiling and ruin his meal.

What do you think? Am I wrong to be pissed off that she didn't smile? Was I right to have given her the full 15% or should I have tipped lower?

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newinsightfulfun

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

I think it can be fine not to smile. But I feel like if you are an attractive young girl, then you absolutely must smile or else it is offensive.

Am I wrong to be pissed off that she didn't smile?

Yes, I'd say it's wrong to have double standards based on attractiveness for people who serve you your food. Either this job requires smiling or it doesn't

[–]omegakv[S] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

This cunt was friendly to the table next to mine, but not to me, so if her double standard is ok but not mine, then I will just cook my food more often. I already endured enough getting shit on by cheerleader cunts in high school, and refuse to put up with it any longer.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

This cunt was friendly to the table next to mine, but not to me, so if her double standard is ok but not mine

No, I'd say this piece of information changes my opinion, I think I missed this in my first read, it was your other reasoning I don't agree with. But if she was less friendly to you than other customers, thats rude, and a perfectly good reason to tip her less imo. You deserve the same level of service as anyone else

[–]grassfed 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Numale

[–]Melodic_Programmer 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Maybe she gets hit on a lot serving single guys and doesn't want to encourage it.

Maybe she thought you were attractive and was shy.

Maybe you looked sad or angry and it made her uncomfortable.

I don't think not smiling in and of itself is enough to make someone a "massive cunt." As long as the service was competent and she did her job, yes, you should have tipped and a girl not smiling at you ruining your night is 100% a you issue.

[–]iamonlyoneman 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

all of that. plus maybe OP is ugly and creepy looking and smells very bad, we don't know