My wife is my property.

submitted by NuclearBadger from self.whatever

I wouldn't key my own car, so I treat my wife with respect. The second she says muh independant womahn I stop giving a shit, because she is now not my problem.

Don't care if it's sexist, my life is great, get wrecked faggots.

all 27 comments
sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 9 fun10 insightful - 8 fun11 insightful - 9 fun -  (3 children)

Are you interested in selling, and if so, how's the mileage and how's she ride?

[–]HibikiBlackThe Easter Bunny 🐰 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

At what point does having an authority over someone else, becomes evil? As in actually "owning" someone?

It's an interesting ethical question. When it comes to companions, a lot of my friends have become cynical when it comes to relationships to the point of seeing women as mere "objects". While I myself have embraced the idea that the male should take the lead in the family, I'm still somewhat romantic and that having both sides respecting each other is the most ideal thing.

[–]Alienhunter 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I tend to believe in the concept of "mutual ownership" in relationships. But in reality both parties need to be on more or less the same page in life and their expectations of each other or else it won't work out. You can't really control other people as leaving is always an option and you don't have to have an unhappy lover because the sex is terrible.

Most marital strifes are resolved by simply assuring the woman she is right 100% of the time so long as she ignores the man cave and the garage. The rest of the house is her domain to use as she sees fit and of course is always 100% right about everything because I said so.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Protip. Always test drive before you buy. Especially when there's been several previous owners.

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Her pronouns are 'the' and 'it'

[–]Optimus85 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

Don't miss a payment or the repo man will take her back. Replace ''payment'' with ''wife's spending money'' and ''repo man'' with two black guys named Trayvon and Darius with twelve-inch schlongs.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sadly, Trayvon and Darius aren't able to form a sentence that makes any sense whatsoever, though.

Being house wreckers and pimping women, these things they got going for them, mostly.

[–]Vulptex 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Does this include being tied up to prevent running away?

[–]rofl 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun -  (4 children)

Absolutely. Like any other car, she should be locked in the garage, with a steering wheel bar around her neck, and wearing a chastity belt. With any luck, she'll back over /u/NuclearBadger's head and suffocate him to death, winning her freedom.

[–]Vulptex 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

I was asking in case he's interested in doing it to me.

[–]rofl 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I saw this movie yesterday: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9074574/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

I recommend it.

(Also - Krista Kosonen can tie me up any time.)

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm not clicking that link because it probably has porn in it. I don't like seeing people naked and gross.

[–]rofl 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Their naughty bits are covered up, sadly (if I remember correctly)

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Reverse feminism in action. I like it.

Though i never had this sort of "problem".

[–]CreditKnifeMan 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Actually, you don't own your car.

That's why you have to register possession of it to the state... And your guns.

The state has a property right in you.

[–]Dragonerne 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

You don't have to register your car but if you do, you enter into a contract which obligates you to follow their rules and policies, and you can be fined for breaking your mutual contract, but it is a mutual contract which you agreed to with consent.

[–]Alienhunter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Technically you don't have to register your car at all so long as you don't use government roads.

Pretty sure you still have to pay tax on it though.

[–]Dragonerne 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5C3-cIX_5A

[–]Dragonerne 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You can drive on "government roads". You have a higher authority than the government. They are your servants.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2s9zadOho8

[–]Brewdabier 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I enjoy saidit, even the mentally ill like OP can have there say.

[–]Tums_is_Smut_bkwrds 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Your property likes to ride my dick. Just sayin'.

[–]Airbus320 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Okay

[–]Shoah_Kahn 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You're welcome to her, bub. 😴

[–]Newzok 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ok

[–]jerkwad152 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Nobody cares about your fleshlight, though it's cringy how you anthropormorphized a 20-dollar piece of plastic and foam.

[–]ShekelPa 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Why take responsibility for something you have no authority over.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I agree. What’s the point of having a wife if she not yours. It’s the same for a woman, the difference is that after a divorce, your wife still owns you.