I have a serious question

submitted by Sergio from self.whatever

Why do I have two testicles?

Isn't one enough?

Maybe they are like batteries, one is negative and the other is neutral?

Do I need a rechargeable cable to repower them?

Why do they smell like stale bacon?

Just tell me the truth.

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newinsightfulfun

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (15 children)

The testes are responsible for making sperm and are also involved in producing a hormone called testosterone. Testosterone is an important hormone during male development and maturation for developing muscles, deepening the voice, and growing body hair.

My guess is if you only had one, you'd be a little gay boy.

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (14 children)

All of those things suck.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (13 children)

I would not say that. People who are sexually attracted to men find all of those things attractive. And even if you're celibate, none of those are bad.

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

No, they're not bad, they're beyond awful, because they redesign your whole body for exclusively fighting and getting laid. Completely ruins real life. But apparently no one but me can remember anything from before puberty, so at least they never realize just how bad it is.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (9 children)

they redesign your whole body for exclusively fighting and getting laid

I agree with you, but what's wrong with being built for war and getting laid?

[–]Vulptex 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

I don't like it.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

Why?

[–]Vulptex 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

Because it sucks. You want to live a hard and boring life with no meaning or gain from that hardship? It's literally a punishment.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

My life is pretty awesome imo. Kinda makes me feel bad you're miserable. I feel like you're missing out on enjoying life over something you can't change.

[–]Vulptex 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Exactly

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

What's beyond awful is the idea that we are no longer required to 'survive' in modern life. Masculine characteristics and the drive to procreate are beneficial to the survival of humanity. 'Real life' that you speak of is an illusion we have built around ourselves with smooth concrete walls and plastic toys to entertain the feeble who do not tend to crops and hunt for food.

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Beneficial to "humanity" but disasterous for me.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I got drunk and thought my testicles were chicken nuggets and I ate one of them, so I'm glad I had two

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You could sell one of em

https://www.forbes.com/sites/kellyphillipserb/2013/11/26/this-mans-nuts-plan-to-sell-testicle-for-new-car-is-taxable/?sh=2c6f515c2dd1

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Why do I have them at all? They do nothing but bother me, and they create chemicals that have ransacked my entire body and drained my mind.