I have decided to consider going back to prison.

submitted by jingles from self.whatever

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[–]Zapped 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (4 children)

My God, what kind of bender are you on right now?

[–]jingles[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

bender? nah, i am as sober as a nun in church.. truth is, i have been hinting at my catching that magical bus to eternity for a couple of years now and i had something of a moment of clarity...

why not just go to prison instead?

like i say, there are all kinds of benefits, such as:

1) good sturdy toilets 2) free bedsheets 3) free toilet paper 4) free toothpaste 5) free lightbulb swapouts 6) free open-air television signal 7) free dishwashing and cooking service 8) free pay telephones(collect calls only) 9) free personal security guards

the benefits just go on and on.

i cant believe that i never gave this consideration.

and omg, i can finally get listed on prisonpenpals.com

https://www.prisonpenpals.com

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Wait until you meet your free roommate.

[–]jingles[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I am requesting protection custody, cuz I have seen the training videos.

https://youtu.be/ufacrVBjuWg

[–]jet199Instigatrix 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Just say you are trans.