PSA: Take care of yourself

submitted by Zapped from self.whatever

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[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

Without good mental health

Some of us just have to play the hands we're dealt.

A couple of my uncles are big into the concept of integrity and serving the community, at least in theory. Your message is familiar to me. I find their philosophy interesting and I'm not opposed to it.

Now, don't get me wrong, they're excellent people, but like any of us they aren't perfect. And their lectures on morality and integrity can seem overbearing and a tad hypocritical sometimes.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Convergence is "enough", so to say. It means "striving" for something, you know you can't achieve ("as a whole" at least). (a mathematical concept, fyi)

Words like "perfection" et simile are "non"-words in my mind-castles.

And of course it is easier to shoot the messenger that "tries" to give you a gold-nugget (which you don't expect to be a gold-nugget, because it is for him at first and at least: You at first just don't know what it actually is... for Chipit e.g. every nugget is a pile of shit, surely) than at least "trying" to let his "message" grow into your core. I get it. KISS-principle again.

The "contradiction" or "cognitive dissonance" in this typical aspect of human communication is:

Dialogue always connects sme with his message. We barely can divert the people we communicate with from the messages they send to us. It is just human.

That is why i think e.g. : Chipit is an asshat. So to say. I'm a human being, so this even is easy to understand.

[–]Zapped[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Yes. Nobody's perfect, but we can be perfect enough. I used to listen to a radio psychologist named Dr. Toni Grant way back in the 1990's or early 2000's. She had a saying about parenting. We don't have to be perfect parents. We only have to be perfect enough.

People are good at rationalization. Some of us can rationalize behavior in a way to avoid accountability. "Well, it's not hurting anyone." "Well, just this once. I'm always doing the right thing every other time." "Well, someone else would do it if I didn't." "Well, I'll take care of that tomorrow or next time." Then there are those few of us who abuse the trust of the rest to deceive. It's not a good investment to waste energy on them. Move on. I'm not saying people can't change, but in my experience, you or I can't change them.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

We don't have to be perfect parents. We only have to be perfect enough.

They had nothing to do with my parenting. We simply have a slight difference of opinion philosophically. I think they embrace, what I will call for the lack of a better word, Christian Shame. I try to be more pragmatic.

[–]Zapped[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Sorry it sounded like I was insinuating anything. I was using the parenting saying as an example to say that we will never be perfect at anything. As humans, we can be perfect enough. We just have to always be pushing that way.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Convergence. Thanks guys.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

We just have to always be pushing that way.

My philosophy is that you need to appreciate what you have, and accept yourself. I'm already being the best person I know how to be, and it's lacking, but I have to accept the person I am, with my shortcomings, and be satisfied. Or I'd hate myself.

[–]Zapped[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And learn to forgive yourself. This was a big one for me.