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[–]package 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Although this should have raised red flags when Randy's descent into madness went overlooked by those around him, nothing would stand in his way from becoming a mass killer.

Not even 30 seconds in and we've got a completely nonsensical sentence. How do you narrate this and not realize how incoherent this string of words is?