All it is is pain and working your butt off just to live for another day of the same thing. Life is 90% bad and good things rarely ever happen. And I know can never ever heal from a lot of the worst things even if my life makes an unbelievable turn for the better. And yet I'm privileged compared to most of the world.
The only reason I even keep myself alive is so other people don't grieve over me. I can't see why they care, I've never been anything but a burden.