A reading of "Mary had a little lamb", by edward.

submitted by humancorpse from files.catbox.moe

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[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (9 children)

maybe you should get into voice over work

[–]humancorpse[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

you seem to have missed that i am a terminal patient.

when a man has only a few moments to live, starting a new career is not high on the list of priorities.

i wanna get my software nailed and then if i am still alive i am gonna raise some capital and live the life of a baller.

for real.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0lByEmGkkU

[–]NodeThis is my flair. There are many like it, but this one is mine. 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Dang, I saw a movie about that. Which terminal do you live in?

[–]humancorpse[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

hey node... are you talking about this guy that got stuck in an airport for something like eighteen years?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQfXd1YlkS4

[–]NodeThis is my flair. There are many like it, but this one is mine. 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

That guy, but there are others. I think there's even a recent hollyweird movie about it.

[–]humancorpse[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

i got held up in indonesia a couple of years ago... i couldnt get my bank card to work internationally and i couldnt renew my visa... it almost went sideways on me.

i was at the airport in jakarta.

my marriage to this awesome lady in bogor was a complete disaster.. anything that could have went wrong, it went wrong..

i think she just died.. she was very active on facebook.. her picture looked very bad on facebook for a few months.. and then her entire facebook went offline.

her name is suryani .

i used to call her princess suryani.

[–]NodeThis is my flair. There are many like it, but this one is mine. 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Is your real name Keyser Söze? You're picking all of these stories out of bits of comments, aren't you. Like from the bulletin board in the cops office...

All of my stories are real, but I have to leave out most of the good parts.

it almost went sideways on me.

I've gone sideways quite a few times, and usually with more success than this guy.

Lawns don't seem very popular there. But everytime I see someone obsessively hiding their head, it makes me think of the tim pool.

Was she the one in the front or back? Nice redaction technique, btw.

[–]humancorpse[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

pretty much all of my stories that seem like trolling arent really trolling at all.. maybe you could think fo my stories more as a form of creative writing.. even tho my writing skills suck donkey ass because my formal education goes all the way up to and including the eighth grade.

i am the first member of my family to get a full formal education.

[–]NodeThis is my flair. There are many like it, but this one is mine. 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Only eighth grade? Pffft. I made it to the tenth grade before being accosted by the school VP in the hall. When I whipped my class schedule out of my shirt pocket on demand, what appeared to be a 'marijuana joint' flew out along with it and hit the vice principal in the chest.

[–]humancorpse[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

DID I ASK YOU ANYTHING?

IF YOU SPEAK AGAIN, I WILL MAKE YOU DRINK KRAZY GLUE.

FUCKING RETARDS.