I have developed a very odd medical disorder.

submitted by oooooooooooooooooooo from self.whatever

It is difficult to explain, but let me try, ok? If i unzip my pants and reach inside and rub my fingers under my testicles, and then i smell my fingers, omg holy shit, it smell like some kind of weird oily sewage treatment facility that has radiation damage or whatever.

omg, i sure hope there is a cure of this, cuz i got a bad case of whatever it is.

can i get this upvoted so this can get onto the front page? this shit could be fatal, right?

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newinsightfulfun

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

I'm a doctor and I want to help. I believe you suffer from "tight scrotum". This is a condition where bacteria can get trapped in the wrinkles of your scrotum. It's kind of like when you look at one of the sugar coated raisins from a box of Kellogg's Raisin Bran. Just imagine the sugar as the bacteria. That's your situation, bucko.

Now there are two things you can do. One is a type of physical therapy called "Bat Winging" This is where you try to stretch the skin of your scrotum until it is "tight like paper". Try to do this in progressively. Don't try to overtighten in the beginning or you risk ripping your ball sack. Then all the pee will fall out.

The second treatment is more experimental. It involves gorilla glue and requires a bit more fortitude. Maybe you should just stick with the bat wing method for now.

[–]oooooooooooooooooooo[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

ok, i have already tried all of the natural organic homeopathy bullshit. i have tried soaking my balls in bull's manure and i have tried getting impregnated by the same bull, and nothing seems to help.

i tried sandpaper on my testicles. i tried a blowtorch.

hey, maybe i just have covid and i need to get vaccinated?

yeah, thats gotta be what it is.