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[–]duckduckgo 4 insightful - 6 fun4 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 6 fun -  (7 children)

why dont you just dive thru the toilet seat of an outhouse? you can swim around in there for a few weeks. anything that you find down there is technically edible, so dig in.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 4 fun -  (6 children)

Maybe I will.

[–]duckduckgo 3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 4 fun -  (5 children)

or, you could go down to a slaughterhouse while dressed up as a cow and let them poke you with stun guns and then butcher you.

that oughtta keep you busy for a minute.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

Maybe I will.

And maybe I won't.

[–]duckduckgo 4 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 5 fun -  (3 children)

is it just me, or is there a chemistry building up between us?

i am going to be bold and bust a move by telling you that i enjoy old sci-fi movies and popcorn and long walks on the beach and in most cases i do not require much lubrication.

it has been a while since i felt loved like this.

your truly,

donald j frump.

FRUMP 2020

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

No, there's definitely chemistry. I do love you a lot, but I'm afraid while dressed as a cow last night, I found a cow I happened to fall in love with.

What are the chances?

[–]duckduckgo 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

i am not one to stand in between when you have obviously made that special connection.

where did you meet that cow? on tinder? i hate you.

donald j frumps

frumps 2020

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Where did I meet the cow??

You’re the one who told me to go to the slaughter house dressed as a cow!! A farmer fucking tased me when I asked him “not to, bro” and told him it was “a misunderstanding”, and I woke up to a cow nursing me. We bonded that night.

When they took her to slaughter her that morning, was when the farmers saw I was wearing a costume and could see my face and let me out lol.