i put on my clown hat and troll a lot in the forums, but that is not the real me, and i dont mean any harm when i am trolling but instead i am just using my very very dry humor to be funny.

i am actually a fairly effective counselor.

truth is, i am not an alcoholic, not in the literal sense.. i had several other problems in my early life and other issues going on and together these issues almost sent me to prison for forty years and it came really close to sending me to death row.

at the tail end of my drinking and crime spree, when i got arrested the detectives opened my briefcase and found a dozen blank cashiers checks that i had designed and printed on my deskjet printer and they also found a brochure for a metals distributor that had a quarter million pounds of copper in their warehouse. i was fully prepared to take no prisoners and i meant to kill everyone in the metals company and everyone on my crew.

i was not a very nice young man and your life meant nothing to me and my life meant nothing to me.

there is an absolute difference between someone like me that enjoys alcohol a bit too much and didnt know when to quit and someone who upon tasting alcohol goes batshit bananas with their cravings and simply tasting the stuff makes them unable to stop drinking.

probably once a month or every two months i will enjoy having one or two beers, and i have absolutely no problem stopping drinking. but for example, like when i bought my boat a year ago, i drank wine and smoked about $400 to $500 of weed per month for several months and i foolishly drove my car to walmart a few times, omg.. that little mistake can land a person in prison if he gets into an accident and kills someone. when i get high and drunk, my common sense goes out the window.

a pure non-alcoholic would never do such things.

one statement that i hear in the AA meetings sometimes is someone will tell me that "i dont really like the taste of alcohol"..

that is a trigger statement for me, it tells me that they are not at all alcoholic.

laters.