I'm Asexual. I don't consider myself LGBT and really don't want to be involved with that community due the politics and highly-sexual nature of it.

submitted by AceTossaway from self.whatever

sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

Things are matters of definitions. For myself, I consider myself very "sex positive" in that I am very "liberal", as in free. People should be free to do with themselves as they wish, and naturally people fall on a spectrum of more promiscuous to more monogamous. Some people think this is about happiness, and perhaps it is, but it's also about experimentation. A society cannot truly learn from its mistakes if it is never allowed to make them, nor can its people. You're lumped into these groups, as am I, because the activists and people with speaking power want most to be perceived as powerful. You can only do that by being perceived as speaking for others - and "LGBTQWTFBBQ" people get that power by lumping in as many people as possible.

That said, I wish to lodge a skepticism against you, given your professed identity. As such a skepticism is generally not allowed in polite conversation, but anonymously I fear no backlash. I've met, and unfortunately been in relationship with, people who either profess to be or who I deem to be "asexual" (That is, apparently zero interest in sex and/or actively avoidant of it). Invariably they fall into two camps (kinda three but rarely so): (a) Extremely morbidly obese and disgustingly slovenly (thus their health is the reason), or (b) Absolutely fucking nuts (whether from molestation, abuse, or natural neuroticism - so their mind is the reason). Least common (c) of "Not attracted to people they've stupidly been in relationships with in spite of knowing they're not attracted to them". I firmly believe "asexual" is properly a medical designation, not a true or real "sexuality" in the same sense, caused from or by other things creating a condition where one rejects their natural sexual urges. Why is it you deem yourself "asexual" and why do you adopt the label? Do you truly believe it somehow legitimate, or do you honestly accept it is a condition caused by other traits or experiences?

[–]SeasideLimbs 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

If I may, I'd add categories (d) people who, due to hormonal reasons, have an unusually low libido and stupidly decide to turn this simple, biological fact into an identity, and (e) people who identify as asexual for sexually-perverse reasons, which fall into two subcategories, (e1) people who are fetishistic in the psychopathological sense, meaning they require this fetish to function sexually and can no longer do so without it, and who no longer wish to engage in sex for that reason and instead engage in fetishistic acts exclusively, and (e2) people who have become addicted to porn to such a degree that they prefer masturbation to having sex. I've personally encountered people of all three types.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I would argue (e) and (e1-e2) fall into the range of (d) or (c) most of all. Masturbatory or porn addictions make sense among people who are themselves not very attractive and only attracted to highly attractive people. The "hormonal reasons" of proposed (d) fit into the health related and morbid obese reasons of (a) to me. I suppose it is a matter of definition. So perhaps (a) should be "health reasons" and (b) should be "mental reasons" with (c) being "stupid fuckers". Vague enough to encapsulate all perhaps?

In any event the reason for my skepticism you perhaps understand. Having been in a relationship with one, I've found myself exceptionally hostile to them as a concept. People who hide behind their traumas and problems who, instead of working through them with their partner, decide to reject said partner in favor of adopting an identity to hide behind. Instead of addressing a porn problem, or being honest about not being attracted, or working on their health. Maybe you can't offer me many answers if you are self aware, but my query relates to why such people are so cowardly as to run from the obvious? If you have someone who loves you, just wants to work with you, to give you time, why would you just reject that? Forgive the projection, but I do wish to receive some input on this matter.

[–]72ndGender 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Masturbatory or porn addictions make sense among people who are themselves not very attractive and only attracted to highly attractive people.

You beat me to it. These people would gladly have sex with an attractive person, but they aren't able to pull an attractive person because of their looks and/or personalities. They're essentially incels posing as volcels.

[–]Comatoast 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

3DPD, etc.

[–]72ndGender 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I learned a new meme. Thank you.