Just got a van, how can I monetize it?

submitted by RatherSmallPotato from self.whatever

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[–]Tom_BombadilBombadildo 3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 4 fun -  (6 children)

If it's a windowless utility van, then I recommend Uber.

You could make a hidden camera show out of peoples reactions when you arrive in a windowless utility van.

[–]JasonCarswellMental Orgy 4 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 5 fun -  (5 children)

Don't try to hide the duct tape, hand cuffs, zip ties, rope, knives, garbage bags, and Polaroids for better reactions.

[–]AbeFroman 2 insightful - 6 fun2 insightful - 5 fun3 insightful - 6 fun -  (1 child)

Also spray paint "rape van" on the side for good measure.

[–]JasonCarswellMental Orgy 3 insightful - 6 fun3 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

You could.

"Free Candy" works better.

 

Who is Candy and why isn't she free?

[–]yetanotherone_sigh 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

You know, I really wonder about this. Certain parts of the population would find this absolutely hilarious and they would request it. Kind of like visiting one of those extreme haunted houses.

[–]JasonCarswellMental Orgy 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Around Halloween people pay you to park in front of other people's homes, like a singing telegram, except your white van starts "leaking" a red fluid...

[–]Tom_BombadilBombadildo 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Be sure to have 2 rows of stainless benchesin the back, but also install that perforated steel divider separating the front 2 seats from the rear 3/4 of the van.

Also, all interior surfaces should be carpet-free, and safely hosed clean.