Can female stand up comedy really be funny? Why are most women not-at-all ever funny?
Yes, comedy IS largely subjective. But there's an objective metric you can measure one's "funniness" on, and that's public reception. Dave Chappelle is seen as legitimately funny, while Amy Schumer, who Hollywood tries/tried to push down our throats just as hard, isn't seen as funny by almost anyone in real life.
So why do most female comics/stand up comediennes suck so badly and simply aren't funny?
Here's the thing: Good, genuinely funny stand-up comedy comes from five different sources. These are usually the requirements needed to be funny and successful at stand up, no matter who you are:
1. Having pain or insecurity growing up, but not so much it breaks you as a person or you have mental health problems from it.
2. Willing to make an ass of yourself in a funny way.
3. Articulate enough and a good enough storyteller that everyday people can relate to and understand you.
4. Willing to be brave enough to bare your soul in front of live audiences numerous times.
And 5. Willing to fail OFTEN and hard!
A hard life, honesty, relatability, bravery, and perseverance. Women tend to lack all five of these things; particularly Western/First World women where stand-up comedy exists. All of this is required in order to meet the BARE MINIMUM of being a funny stand-up comic.
You also need to actually be funny and have good delivery, which is why even women who have writers making all their jokes for them, like Samantha Bee, Chelsea Handler, and Whitney Cummings, STILL aren't funny.
COMEDY REQUIRES MISFORTUNE AND/OR BEING UNATTRACTIVE
So what female stand-up comics/comediennes can you think of that have all five of these traits? Joan Rivers. ...That's it. She fit all five of the criteria. But even by the 90s, she mostly stopped being funny, so you'd have to go WAY back to ever know she was legit funny.
This is ALSO why the only "somewhat funny" female stand-up comediennes tend to be gay and/or ugly AF. Wanda Sykes, 2000s Lisa Lampanelli, and Ellen DeGeneres in the 90s. Even the funniest male stand-up comics were usually ugly, with the exception of Eddie Murphy. But look at George Carlin, Richard Preyor, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, and Louis CK; the top stand-up comics in history. None of those dudes are good looking either! So expecting a woman to be hot AND had a hard life growing up AND funny? Extremely unlikely.
YOU CAN'T BE HOT AND FUNNY AT STAND-UP
It's pretty much IMPOSSIBLE to be hot and funny in stand-up. Because you likely didn't have a hard life and people can't relate to you. That's why Taylor Tomlinson isn't funny. She seems like a cool tomboy chick you could have a beer with. But not funny, even if she "used to be fat." Well you aren't now, are ya?! Same goes for Anjelah Johnson, a former model and cheerleader now trying to claim to be a comedienne. Not the least bit funny, though. Bangable and hot, for sure, though. Funny? FUCK no! Taylor and Anjelah seem like cool women to hang out with, but not good enough to do comedy as a career.
The "you can't be hot and funny" law even applies to men, too. Anyone remember Dane Cook from the late 2000s? Women used to always want the D. Some ultra-liberal women used to try to say John Mulaney was good looking and funny, but as a straight male, I'm pretty sure he was never either one. Being an extremely-average-looking, pseudo-intellectual that self-loathing, college-aged, liberal women find slightly charming, doesn't make you a Chad.
As for Conan O'Brien? No women ever thought he was legitimately good-looking or handsome; it's his wit, charm, sense of humor, articulate speech, education from Harvard, Late Night success, and even height, that makes him attractive to women. And even then, it's usually only women over 30. But no, Conan O'Brien isn't and never was good looking. He was never really a stand-up comedian either, and never had a hard life. But that Dane Cook motherfucker truly was the male Sarah Silverman thinking "being slightly edgy" was comedy.
Speaking of low 7s and 6s, Sarah Silverman. She was a 6 in her prime before the boob job; NEVER funny though. Sarah Silverman rode the "I'm a Jew; laugh bigots!" card all the way to the top. Her only memorable thing in her whole career was having a not-even-funny meme song in the 2000s about her fantasy to "fuck Matt Damon." Even Disney has distanced themselves from her by pretending Wreck-It Ralph doesn't exist anymore.
And another female wanna-be edge-lord who went woke, but not funny, Whitney Cummings: A six-foot-tall 6 out of 10 who was never funny and pretty much invented the female comedian stereotype of periods and vag jokes being 95% of her schtick. Cummings also grew up wealthy and went to U. Penn, an ivy league school, which makes her even more fake and unrelatable, but still tries to pull the "woman hard" feminism card at all times. Cummings is fuckable if you hate yourself enough and going down a depression spiral, but not only is she not-funny, but she pretty much is the antithesis to everything needed to be funny.
At least Taylor Tomlinson TRIES to relate to her male audience more. Cummings couldn't even do that. I'd mention Chelsea Handler too, but being a 5 in her prime who called 50 Cent "a dumb n-gger" for thinking about voting for Trump in 2020, Chelsea Handler was NEVER attractive looking OR funny. And Curtis Jackson IS a bitch-ass like she said, for actually having a relationship with the Queen of Karens. (At least he didn't stoop down to Kathy Griffin levels of self-loathing. I mean, I'd at least fuck Whitney Cummings if I hated myself enough, but Chelsea Handler?! What the fuck, dude? You're a millionaire. Do better.)
YOU CAN BE HOT AND A FUNNY WRITER
You know who was funny, though? Tina Fey. Never a stand-up comedienne, but was legit funny on 30 Rock. Why? She grew up a loser and was never physically attractive. Her thing was embracing being a loser. (She wrote Mean Girls.) She's actually intelligent and can speak well. And she failed a lot in New York while trying to break into show business. And while she didn't do live stand-up very often, if ever, she fits all the other criteria for hypothetically being successful at it.
"There's no such thing as bisexual. That's just something invented in the 90s so they could sell more hair products." Based Liz Lemon
Another woman who fits four out of five is Kristen Wiig. I'd argue she was a solid 6 in looks. Pretty cute when younger, but fulfills the rest of the criteria. And Amy Poehler I personally don't think was ever funny, but some men do, so your mileage may vary. She also fulfills most of the criteria needed to be successful at comedy, except she likely didn't have a hard life.
Many of the Saturday Night Live alumni often fulfill all the criteria. However, some can fulfill all the boxes and still be really UNFUNNY. Like Leslie Jones who even has the bonus of being ugly. Still not funny, though. And Kate McKinnon, who NO ONE ever thought was funny, but the media kept trying to gaslight and convince us was funny anyway because she went in extra hard on the "make an ass of yourself because Lucille Ball did it" technique. Same with Melissa McCarthy. And guess what shitty movie remake these chicks were all in in 2016 which started the "you're an Istaphobe if you don't like this shitty movie" trend in Hollywood?
YOU CAN'T BE HOT AND FUNNY AT STAND-UP ...UNLESS YOU'RE CRAZY
Speaking of Lucille Ball: Does she count as funny? Wasn't she really hot, at the time? I'd say Lucille Ball may count as being a funny woman. "I Love Lucy" was way before my time. So yeah, maybe Lucille Ball is an exception to the "funny & hot" women rule. Going off of 1950s standards, of course.
Another one I didn't mention before is Maria Bamford, who was a legitimately funny woman, on top of being relatively cute when younger, like a cute 6 out of 10. But she only managed to be the exception to the rule because she went in extra hard on the first and fifth rules; pain and insecurity and willing to fail often. She legit had mental health issues and was self-loathing for a long time, but Maria Bamford managed to break the stereotype that modern women can't be funny, due to it, and even she "barely counts" as funny to some people. Bamford was funny to the majority of people at least, because she was pretty much crazy and only "barely" pretending not to be. So her humor was more from her being unhinged, more than anything. She wasn't witty or an intellectual like Carlin or Chris Rock.
So yes. In my opinion, I think I've adequately broken down why most stand-up comediennes, let alone women, aren't funny. And the maybe 1-4% of women who are, almost always are unattractive looking to compensate for it.
And to be fair, most MALE stand-up comedians aren't funny, either. Sturgeon's Law. You just don't get called "sexist" from idiots for pointing out how shitty Carlos Mencia, Bert Kreischer, Larry the Cable Guy, Jeff Dunham, Trevor Noah, James Corden, Jimmy Fallon, and Brendan Schaub are.