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[–][deleted]  (14 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Tiwaking 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (13 children)

    There is nothing wrong with not being straight, or not being gay, or not being bi.

    In theory, being asexual would technically be the best position to be in as you can see the successes and failures of everyone elses relationships.

    [–][deleted]  (12 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Tiwaking 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

      You have to understand that romantic relationships require time and effort. When one person finds out that their relationship has fallen apart, its like all of that time and effort they have spent has been wasted.

      That makes people angry. Extremely angry.

      Perceived injustice will make people do crazy things. Actual injustice is what can start wars.

      [–][deleted]  (10 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]Tiwaking 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (9 children)

        Sometimes, it's about someone they fail the courtship. And they look horrible when they mention them.

        Sometimes it is about a celebrity who they like.

        Sometimes it is warranted and deserved (The person turned out to be not a nice person).

        Sometimes it is not. In theory, most of the time anger at a failed courtship will be unwarranted and undeserved. The reason why most of the time it will not be warranted its because courtship will need two participants, and in this case one person is clearly more interested in one person than the other is.

        The easiest way to avoid all this conflict is to avoid people 👍👍👍.

        [–][deleted]  (8 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]Tiwaking 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

          Building a relationship is like a negotiation game, and its one of the hardest games to play. Think of it like a card game where I have some cards and someone else has some cards too. We compare cards to see which cards match and which do not match.

          The problem is: neither person knows how many cards the other person holds, nor do they know what type of cards they have (they may be playing a completely different game). There is also the option to withdraw from the game.

          This can lead to situations where someone plays all of their worst cards first and gets rejected. OR they play their cards in the wrong order and get rejected. Or they play an incredibly offensive card and get rejected.

          One person may be too scared to play one of their cards, not knowing that it is their best card, and get rejected!

          And yes, if someone likes one person more than the other person likes them back, then that relationship is destined to fail

          [–][deleted]  (6 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]Tiwaking 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

            The concept of a negotiation game is correct because negotiation happens in Good and Bad Faith.

            A good faith negotiation game involves both people equally participating and coming to a compromise.

            A bad faith negotiation game involves only one side participating or one side participating more than the other. This leads to what is known as the Prisoners Dilemma.

            Bad faith negotiation can lead to people getting killed.

            But I do agree with you: In a good relationship both partners should get what they need to fulfil their physical, emotional, and mental needs.