I was 18 when I said I need to stop - I'm now 42 sitting alone at a table having destroyed my life. by Marshall in porntrap

[–]Bonn1770 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Next look up who owns all the porn companies.

I was 18 when I said I need to stop - I'm now 42 sitting alone at a table having destroyed my life. by Marshall in porntrap

[–]HongKongPhooey 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

When Israel takes over Palestinian territory one of the things they do is take over the TV station and broadcast porn 24/7 to keep to locals docile and preoccupied.

NGL, my first thought was this must be some Qtard nonsense because this sounds insane, but fuck me, looks like this really happened

I was 18 when I said I need to stop - I'm now 42 sitting alone at a table having destroyed my life. by Marshall in porntrap

[–]Airbus320 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

🤮

I was 18 when I said I need to stop - I'm now 42 sitting alone at a table having destroyed my life. by Marshall in porntrap

[–]Bonn1770 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Porn is a weapon. When Israel takes over Palestinian territory one of the things they do is take over the TV station and broadcast porn 24/7 to keep to locals docile and preoccupied.

I was 18 when I said I need to stop - I'm now 42 sitting alone at a table having destroyed my life. by Marshall in porntrap

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Wow, this is like a Sliding Doors scenario. I'm 42 and had a very similar experience up to a point.

My friends were being social in high school and I stayed on the screen. Want to go to a party? No thanks! Want to go to a dance? Nah, got something going on. Want to go play basketball?

I did not stay home, I went to parties, met girls, did try my hand at making porn and it was pretty hot, but the women who participated were damaged goods, and it was also dreadfully sad to watch. Got a job, met my first gf, and I've been with her best friend for 23 years and I love her to pieces.

My hands also started going bad around 14-16, it wasn't immediate, but it would eventually lead to me being generally unable to play video games without paying a nasty cost for it. Now I only play top rated games I am really interested in, it's infrequent.

I have never preferred watching porn over being with a woman I cared about. Masturbating does not fill the role of lovemaking for me, it doesn't satisfy me. That helped, I'm sure, avoid the trap you fell into.

I also had issues with my weight. Still do, probably always will have to watch what I eat and regularly diet. I could lose 25lbs right now in fact. It all boils down to calories though, eat too many, you get fat. Eat less than your BMR and you lose weight. It's very predictable. It's not fun dieting, but it's simple, let me know if you want help losing that weight.

I live with a cat

My man! I am on my third cat, Gizmo. The first two lived long happy lives although I regret now some of the things I did. Gizmo gets the benefit of my experience.

They say the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, the second best time is now. Might want to try to change things before you die.

I was 18 when I said I need to stop - I'm now 42 sitting alone at a table having destroyed my life. by Marshall in porntrap

[–]HongKongPhooey 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

While you are right to blame porn and games for their purposely addictive nature you need to realise there was something long before that which set you up with a weakness for some kind of addiction. And part of you is still running away from sorting that out which is why you are still constantly chasing distractions.

Well put, those things are purposely made to be addictive, but the root of OP's problems are deeper than that, and need to be addressed or he will continue to have problems

I was 18 when I said I need to stop - I'm now 42 sitting alone at a table having destroyed my life. by Marshall in porntrap

[–]Vulptex 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Most of your "failings" are with regard to pointless endeavors which are only important because society says so. I think you are smart enough to realize this subconsciously so you don't invest in them. Ask yourself whether you really care about those things or if you're merely trying to live up to what the world wants you to be.

You do sound like you have ADHD or some kind of mental illness, especially since it was a problem basically since you were born. Society only sees you as a tool and will hate you if you aren't useful to the tribal agenda. They constantly act like people with mental illnesses are just bad people, even though the fact that you have such a conscience makes that extremely unlikely. I'm guessing you've been bullied your whole life because of it and internalized it. The only thing that can help you with your attention issues is medication and therapy. But most of your problems seem to be guilt from not living up to society's stupid expectations. If you can get past this then congratulations, you've started deprogramming! And you're in a good spot to realize that not only society, but the world itself is an evil and vain matrix. If you're ready to see what I want to show you, ask.

I was 18 when I said I need to stop - I'm now 42 sitting alone at a table having destroyed my life. by Marshall in porntrap

[–]jet199 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm going to go along with this somewhat.

You speak about your dad, OP, but where was your mother in all this?

What was you home like? Did your parents engage with you? Were they emotionally present? Were you bullied at school?

Most kids who have computer addictions are neglected somewhat. Parents use the screen as a babysitter. Most good parents will tell their kids to come off the computer because they don't want them on the computer too long and not just because their minutes will run out. They monitor it.

While you are right to blame porn and games for their purposely addictive nature you need to realise there was something long before that which set you up with a weakness for some kind of addiction. And part of you is still running away from sorting that out which is why you are still constantly chasing distractions.

I was 18 when I said I need to stop - I'm now 42 sitting alone at a table having destroyed my life. by Marshall in porntrap

[–]send_nasty_stuff 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing. It's important to realize that your life isn't over. Not by a long shot. You've taken a huge step to write all this down and work on your porn addiction. Feel free to PM me and I can work with you on your weight. You'll probably notice a huge change to libidio and how you approach the world when you get back down under 180. I believe I can get you there in 14-18 months (possibly less depending on your commitment). I've counciled lots of men online (and IRL through coaching) so I hope you'll give me a PM. I was never 300 pounds but my siblings and I have all fought with weight and low energy issues. My father was in the military but weight gain after he left the severely impacted his quality of life. I study nutrition and exercise because I watched a high quality individual live a low quality life because of diet and lifestyle choices.

For me I've had a similar porn addiction. In part it destroyed my marriage. We are close to the same age. I think it's important to realize you're not alone in this and this wasn't an accident that so many millennial and gen z men got addicted to these vices. This was a coordinated marketing campaign and it was about more than profit. It was about destroying lives and destroying a society.

I was 18 when I said I need to stop - I'm now 42 sitting alone at a table having destroyed my life. by Marshall in porntrap

[–]chickenz 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Ted Bundy spoke about pornography, only hours before he was electrocuted in the electric chair.

I have met a few serial killers in my days, and they all were hardened sex addicts.

https://youtu.be/d6VAN7ELkk0

I was 18 when I said I need to stop - I'm now 42 sitting alone at a table having destroyed my life. by Marshall in porntrap

[–]HongKongPhooey 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The vast majority of people that use pornography and play video games will not come close to destroying their lives with them. It sounds like you can't do either of these things in moderation, but the crux of your problems appears to be your desire for escapism and a lack of ability to moderate yourself when it comes to activities that reward your dopamine circuit rather than either of those things being inherently dangerous. This is pretty common in people with ADHD, who are deficient in dopamine in certain regions of the brain, and something I've experienced myself, although maybe not to the same extent.

You can become addicted to anything, even to recovery and addiction groups which I have seen take over peoples lives. Be careful that you don't just replace one escapist activity with another, not that I want to discourage you from getting help controlling your unhealthy pornography use. Yes you should stop doing these things since they are causing problems for you, but I worry if you make porn and games the demons and focus only on that, you will still be consumed with spending all your attention around and effort around them, even it is on not doing them, or find some other escape.

In addition to your efforts to abstain from these activiteis, I think you should also focus on finding some healthier activities that can give you some of that stimulation you crave. Some people like sports or exercise, I even found programming computers gives me a similar stimulation to gaming, while making my life better rather than causing problems. Maybe you can write a book, you seem like a capable writer. You definitely can't replace those activities with nothing or just recovery groups, you need something stimulating and productive. Maybe a psychiatrist and medications could even help you too. Meditation I have heard can be very helpful as well. Even psychedelics can also be helpful for people with addiction, the AA guy famously used LSD during his recovery, although I'd maybe try some of those less risky interventions first

Anyways, it sucks to hear that that you are struggling so hard with these things, thats my two cents based on my own experiences, but everyone is different. I hope you are able to find way to get your life on track to a place where you are more satisfied with it

How to Quit Porn by BravoVictor in porntrap

[–]yabbit 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's a lot harder to quit porn if you're a virgin though

How to Quit Porn by BravoVictor in porntrap

[–]jet199 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I literally stopped watching porn one day because I was on the gender critical sub a lot and they kept going on and on about how terrible it is.

Never had the urge to check back.

One issue is that when I do stumble across porn online it has a much bigger effect on me.

The Porn Trap by BravoVictor in porntrap

[–]BravoVictor[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh sweetie, you're not fooling anyone. We all know you're still a virgin.

How to Quit Porn by BravoVictor in porntrap

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I'm not going to shake your hand, but I'm not mad :D

How to Quit Porn by BravoVictor in porntrap

[–]BravoVictor[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm sorry if I offended you. I didn't make this post to attack you. I didn't even know you existed until you posted here, much less your sexual history.

However, if you're interpreting this entire sub as a personal attack on yourself, consider what that means.

How to Quit Porn by BravoVictor in porntrap

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You don't need to stop because you don't have a problem.

Well yeah dude, just cause you have a problem doesn't mean everyone does.

How to Quit Porn by BravoVictor in porntrap

[–]BravoVictor[S] 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I used to be, and millions of people still are, and it's destroying their lives.

Let me guess. You can stop watching porn any time you want? You've probably stopped dozens of times this week, am I right?

No, that's naive of me to think. You don't need to stop because you don't have a problem.

How to Quit Porn by BravoVictor in porntrap

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I can't imagine having any difficulty not watching porn. You one of those porn addicts?