i dont want this life any more, and i dont think anyone is really gonna complain if i leave this rock. fuck this life and fuck everybody. fuck covid. fuck biden. fuck fuck.

I totally get where you're coming from. The assault on our humanity is constant, intense, and overwhelming. Anyone who hasn't entertained the kind of thinking you're showing here isn't paying attention.

That said, to remind you what you perhaps already know: your life must be lived according to your ethics. The importance of your life you decide. Whether you live or die is absolutely secondary. What is absolutely primary is how you live, and the only person qualified to judge you on that is you.

Don't live based on whether your actions are having an effect on people who are drowning in their own deceit. Don't decide how to live your life (including whether to live your life) based on the chaos around us. If you decide to die because they have created hell on earth, then they win. They will have crushed you to the point that your final action is based in the despair they are feeding you.

No, the best you can do is live better. Not because it's going to lead to a better surroundings but because you desire to offer the universe an example of what a person is capable of. Do it for yourself. Be the person who lives correctly in the world so that you can look in the mirror and say, "At least there's one of me. One is better than zero."

Ironically, this is the only way the broader world will improve. Not by us trying to change "it", but by us starting to live as examples of what we mean.

Create your own example of how it should be and live that. Then rest assured that you are doing everything you can to maintain a small point of light in the darkness. It makes more difference than you think.

Good luck; obviously it's absurdly painful and difficult right now to do what I'm describing. You are not as alone as your fear is telling you. There are many of us fighting precisely the same battle. It's just hard to recognize us amidst the chaos of the terrified masses turning on each other in fear and violence.