If we're going to say gender and sex are different and gender is how you present yourself, then yeah, it should be up to the people around you to make the distinction. I don't care if someone wants to be trans as long as they 1. weren't brainwashed into it. That goes for both children who get groomed into it and anyone seriously considering bottom surgery, because that is horrifyingly insane. And 2. they put some effort into it. I'm not going to call you she/her if you're just a fat hulking middle aged guy in a sundress.