Wild monkey story: My friend helped pay for college by working in the lab where they kept experimental animals. Yeah, I know, bad karma. He was in charge of the monkeys. Cut to years later and he is on a hilltop in Taiwan with his girlfriend and trying desperately to impress her. They are admiring some wild monkeys so he says—When you're around monkeys, never do this, and proceeds to do exactly what you are not supposed to do around monkeys. He stood fully erect with his eyes insanely wide open while extending his fists straight out to his sides and then beating his chest. "Yeah, never do that because it's the dominance sig..." A male monkey leapt onto his head and proceeded to scratch furiously. He spent—I forgot how many—a few days in the hospital while they gave him shots and drips. He came home with bandages and scratches.

That was a small, male monkey but a baboon can rip your face off in one go, so do be careful around wild monkeys.