CDC Says You No Longer Have To Wear A Life Jacket Outside In Case Of Rain

submitted by Drewski from babylonbee.com

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[–]JasonCarswell 5 insightful - 7 fun5 insightful - 6 fun6 insightful - 7 fun -  (2 children)

A+++

Those fools, I'm getting my air injection next week. I expect to remain boyant for the rest of my days.

[–]johnnybravo 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Step 1: inject yourself with air

[–]JasonCarswell 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Step 2: Exspire.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Her state of Texas removed the life jacket mandate several months ago, causing many experts to predict there would be a massive spike in drownings,

Hmm, I wonder if the author was aware Texas was the second worse state child drownings at pools and spas in 2018 and the worst in 2019.

Not to clutch pearls, but kinda a bad example to use.

[–]JasonCarswell 1 insightful - 4 fun1 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Maybe they were diving for pearls and ended up at the pearly gates.