How many Jews does it take to screw on a light bulb?

submitted by LarrySwinger2 from self.funny

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[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

Best Jewish light bulb joke I've heard is:

How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

(It's alright... I'll sit in the dark.)

In Israel they tell this joke, though refer to Polish mothers (Polish Ashkenazic Jews).

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Wow, this could also be taken to their religion.

What does a Jew say when he discovers his god is actually Satan?

(It's alright, I'll sit in the dark)

Do you know why Israelis make fun of Pole-Jews?

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I should perhaps note that the joke is liked very much by Jews, and 'Polish mother' jokes are in honor of Polish Ashkenazic Jews, 90% of which parished during WWII. Jews joke about controlling mothers who are specialists at guilt trips. My formerly Catholic mother told similar jokes about Catholic mothers and their guilt trips. The guilt trip is classic 'mothering' in all Abramahic religions. (Hence Freud's fixation on it.)

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

Ah, then that makes sense. I knew many Jewish children growing up, the area I grew up in was very rich and conservative, so many Jews came to live with the capitalist Christians who basically praised them and their money-making. I do not remember ever liking one of their mothers, nor do I remember liking going to Mass with my catholic friend and his mother.

I grew up with a Presbyterian mother. She also guilt-trips. It must just be an unhealthy thing mothers do.

Edit: how does one "parish"? Aren't parishes religious districts/buildings?

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Yes, I know a number of Presbyterians rather well, and they are almost Calvinist in their Protestant ethics (and guilt trips).

To parish (usage: as a verb, used without object) is to die.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Isn't that perish?

Ye, they are fucking Calvinists at the core.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Oops! Yes.

(Or 'parish' could be: the condition of being pared with a paring knife.)

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh, parish has another definition? Cool, thanks for spelling it wrong just so I can learn that people can be pared with a paring knife to be parished, lol. Edit: Seriously, this is cool.