Welcome to Female Autism! Please read this post first!

Airbus320 · 2022-08-08T22:20:16+00:00

It will

Vulptex · 2022-07-21T15:22:40+00:00

I am here for literally nothing but wasting valuable resources and whining about my troubles. I'm not capable of anything positive, every day is a battle and I only fight it because I'm afraid of what might happen to those who lose me. We are all lab rats in an unethical experiment of nature, and I was a flop.

Be glad all you have is body image issues. That's a lot better than wanting to crawl out of your skin because of how it feels on you, and how your mind works the wrong way. And try to ignore the human race, most of them act like animals, only concerned about collective tribal welfare and maximizing procreation and preserving their bloodline. All pointless and worthless goals, and they attack anyone who stands out from the norm because they fear an unpredictable person could be a threat to the system.

Now if this reincarnation thing is happening don't let the demons fool you, they are master deceivers who will convince you 1000% that they have your best interests at heart, but in reality they just want to keep using you for their own personal gain, indifferent to what they might put you through. The world itself runs on evil, the whole natural order is unethical, and no one is willing to acknowledge it. Some are in denial, others try to make it good; but all to no avail, it's just another form of coping and toxic positivity. Those with depression are persecuted for being more realistic and seeing through everyone elses' rose colored glasses, and other people hate that threat to their illusion of a divine world and good society.

gloomy_bear · 2022-07-21T15:04:10+00:00

Interesting. I dislike the human race as a whole, and I do have body image issues, but I do believe that I do have a purpose in life anyways.

Vulptex · 2022-07-21T14:51:02+00:00

It's because they act on instinct and don't think: instincts we largely don't have.

But other than that it's cool, unless it brings 9000 uncurable and untreatable mental illnesses along with it like uncurable depression, anxiety, behavior issues, horrible emotions, gender dysphoria, suicidal thoughts, derealization, depersonalization, and lack of or loss of all talent that is necessary for any kind of competence at any task, especially creative ones, and it ruins all special interests and all forms of escapism, makes everything dull and boring and irritating, and makes life a living hell. That's my life, and I just want it to end. I hate the world, I hate my body, I hate nature, I hate society, and I need to leave.

Vulptex · 2022-07-21T14:44:49+00:00

I can. Somehow I lost the ability to pronounce words for a while, but I thought I was talking the whole time. I guess the adults were good enough guessers that I didn't notice.

gloomy_bear · 2022-07-21T14:17:18+00:00

it's like being the only sober person with a bunch of drunks; you're different, but you don't know why others act the way they do.

jet199 · 2022-07-21T07:58:23+00:00

No they didn't tell me anything because they couldn't speak.

jet199 · 2022-07-20T21:18:18+00:00

A lot of boys don't talk until 4.

It's not really evidence of a disorder without other factors.

Vulptex · 2022-07-20T20:54:20+00:00

Apergers can still come with certain developmental delays, and late talking is one of the most common.

Kehra · 2019-07-30T18:44:08+00:00

You say I don't have a special interest but I used to devour books by the dozens, sometimes reading two or three at a time (not just in a day). I'd have one I'd take to school and one I'd read at home and then if I found another book to read I'd start on that too. I don't read multiple books at a time anymore but these days if I'm not playing a game I'm reading. Plus I read whole series' at a time and will sometimes read a book twice in a row.

I want to say this is how I know things I haven't been taught. Reading something and putting it toward another thing that seems like it would work similarly.

I just don't talk about anything because after a while having your mom tell you to shut up and nobody cares and I just talk to talk makes me feel like nothing I want to say is important. So I don't.

Kehra · 2019-07-30T18:36:11+00:00

Well if you're not a suffering loser then you obviously don't need help. /s

Kehra · 2019-07-30T18:34:31+00:00

This is amazing! I love the progress being made for us.

grelb32 · 2019-07-29T17:50:32+00:00

I'm really excited by this study, as I view it as a big win for the female autism community. To the best of my knowledge, it's the first to quantitatively show that females with autism camouflage better than males. I just hope that as more and more studies like this are published, we are able to update our assessments to accurately reflect our changing understanding of gender differences in autism.

Kehra · 2019-07-29T12:59:19+00:00

I managed to fix it by changing some of my preferences. I unchecked both under link options that say don't show if voted. It was removing posts from view even if I just loaded the page once but didn't click on it. Now everything is back.

bobbobbybob · 2019-07-29T08:10:51+00:00

i've had posts go missing too. Quite long ones. a bit annoying.

thanks

bobbobbybob · 2019-07-29T08:10:05+00:00

Those questions are just dumb, and they reflect the arrogance of the researchers, imo.

When they ask you what you do at a party, do they seriously think all of us just stand in a corner and hold drinks?

The questions that were being put forward 20 years ago (when I knew the researchers), which was when the ToM stuff was developing (and really 'mirror neurons'? what a dumb dumb concept from supposed neuroscience research groups) address apparent deficits when engaging in the NT world, but they have no room in them for coping strategies. We are supposed to be losers, suffering, and the idea that some of us think rings around the NTs that pity us slams into the ego of the researchers. rant.

Kehra · 2019-07-29T03:27:54+00:00

I was going to comment on this days ago but I've been having issues with stuff I didn't post not showing up. I read through this, but as it's been a few days I don't remember. I didn't want you to think this was forgotten!

Kehra · 2019-07-29T03:17:39+00:00

When it comes to questions that I usually try to find something that is related and relevant to the answers. Like am I interested in math/schedules or strings of numbers/stats. Despite my inability to stick to a schedule, I do have an interest in them.

grelb32 · 2019-07-29T02:58:02+00:00

Thank you so much for this thoughtful reply! These are some great suggestions, and I will definitely have to try them all. I probably should have specified that the special interests are my current social struggle. I didn't actually know really anything at all about autism until I met my wife, who figured out that she's on the spectrum a couple years ago. The more I looked into it, the more I realized how much it explained things I went through in highschool. Caring too deeply for people who didn't care back, buying them things and writing songs for them and giving my all when they weren't even interested in talking to me. Took me a long time to figure out how to not open up to people who didn't care back and to only invest myself in people I could trust. I also couldn't figure out why people didn't want me to join in on their conversations/hang out with them, so I learned to be content with being alone and found out that people liked me more that way, at least until they got to know to me better and they realized I wasn't normal. It also took forever to learn how to talk to people, but I figured out that if you ask them about themselves they tend to like you more. But you have to be careful, because sometimes people don't like you remembering things they said 3 weeks ago and asking about it, so it's a fine line that's difficult to know when and what to ask about. I still mess up on that one periodically. Anyways, I've figured out a lot of strategies now. I still stick out like a sore thumb, but at least people view me as eccentric instead of disliking me. I'm not lonely at home, fortunately. My wife and I understand each other really well in that respect. I feel extremely lonely at work and with my parents/siblings though, and I relate to the kids I work with a million times more than I do my coworkers. I'm sorry that you don't feel understood at home. I've come to find that being loved by family (my parents, siblings) but not understood is just the way it's going to be and no matter how many times I try to explain it they're not going to understand. I told them I thought I was on the spectrum and they were like "okay?" If it helps, I understand you. Everything you're saying makes perfect sense to me, which is really refreshing. I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not to conform to social norms, and I don't have to exhaust myself trying to remember all the unspoken rules of a conversation. So thank you for that.

grelb32 · 2019-07-29T02:18:22+00:00

I know he's definitely controversial in the autism community, so it's very interesting to hear your take on him from having worked with him. It saddens me to hear that he was (is?) like that. I just thought it was nice that the test attempted to assess camouflaging, as it's a step in the right direction. I'm reading a book for school right now that addresses assessing autism, and it noted that for adults, really the only valid/reliable assessment is SBC's Autism Quotient, which is extremely gender-biased. I really hope that someone comes up with better assessments for adults with Asperger's/ASD that are applicable to both genders in the future, because it saddens me to think of how many women are being told they don't have ASD because they didn't answer questions like "I'm extremely interested in train timetables" or "I memorize license plates or football scores."

bobbobbybob · 2019-07-29T01:03:10+00:00

I'm sorry, but Baron-Cohen can go fuck himself. Pretentious twat, with a sub par IQ and a sense of superiority over people with aspergers.

source: I worked in the same institute as him for a long time.

bobbobbybob · 2019-07-29T00:59:10+00:00

seek out diagnosed people's coping strategies, their compensatory strategies. See if they ring true to you.

I can read body language. I taught myself to, helped me understand my own so I could fake it better. I can read microgestures, and tell someone's deep moods. I've become so good at the two, that I can spot someone lying now, and am confident enough to insist on truth until they give in and admit it, or i've pressed enough buttons to make them admit it and go away. I'm fairly sure that they are honest at the last, and not just pretending to shut me up. Never really understood NT's need to constantly lie to themselves and others to protect their sense of self.

Same with intentions, once you've learnt body language, modelling another person's state becomes quite simple. but for the most quiet and reserved. Narcissists are really easy to spot.

Joint attention I struggle with, since once I'm onto something, I focus to the exclusion of all else. Have to pay careful attention to that with my children, or I end up playing with them on my own because they've wandered off, if you know what I mean.

Eye contact is another one that I learnt early. Also pausing and listening, not speaking. paying attention to the pattern of turns to talk (although that one is hard, as when a NT starts to hog I struggle to not disengage since that normally signals really boring conversations)

Meaningful relationships is the hard one. I've got family and kids, and I'm not sure i've got real connections there. I'm sure they think otherwise, but me knowing them is a long way from them having any understanding of me. I feel that I explain myself all the time, but am rarely understood.

Just an idea, maybe learn to play the piano sonatas/concertos. I made my sonic obsessions into a hobby and sometimes business and that works well. Not much need to communicate when you are performing, and people are nice afterwards because you've made them feel good.

Still need a "i'm autistic" badge, though

grelb32 · 2019-07-28T22:49:48+00:00

Another thing I would like to know is why certain things become special interests to people. Is it based on attachment, fixation, obsession, sustained attention, self-stimulation, self-soothing, or some other psychological or biological process? Further, is it something that's learned or is it innate? For example, I've seen children at work who come in on their first day and instantly attach to a book or stuffed animal, even to the point of naming it and making the stuffed animal take it's own turn while playing a board game. However, my special interests have started out as broad topics that I was interested in and became increasingly more narrow and specific the more I learned about them. So, I would be very interested to know what processes lead to one's special interests and what function they perform for the individual engaging in them.

grelb32 · 2019-07-28T22:37:47+00:00

This test was developed by Hull, Mandy, Lai, Baron-Cohen and others to assess if an individual is or has engaged in masking. Though the assessment hasn't been published for purchasing, the supplemental materials found at the end of the article include the actual assessment and can be downloaded and viewed for free (which is always awesome!)

grelb32 · 2019-07-28T22:31:07+00:00

This is very helpful! I think it's also beneficial to add in items like not being able to read social cues/body language, struggling to identify emotions in oneself or others, and burnout from engaging in social situations. Though I'm sure everyone doesn't experience these things, I would guess enough people do that they might be helpful to add to lists like this.

grelb32 · 2019-07-28T21:31:31+00:00

That's fair. I agree with the services part; that would definitely be helpful. I still would like to know on my part because I keep going back and forth on whether I have it or not. Several people have told me they think I have it (not to mention the countless times random people have called me Sheldon, robotic, monotone, emotionless, etc) but I don't meet some of the important criteria. I can read body language, identify emotions, infer others' intentions, engage in joint attention, and make eye contact with no issue. However, I have extremely narrow interests which make it hard for me to relate to people or have meaningful relationships with them. For example, I only listen to classical piano sonatas or concertos because I am obsessed with the form and medium. I will only play, write or listen to piano music and even then I am only interested in sonata form. It makes it difficult to relate to others because most people who like or play music don't listen to classical music, and even the ones who listen to classical don't listen to classical piano, and even those who play piano don't only listen to sonatas. So when I try to find common interests with others, even others who play or love music, I can see their eyes glaze over and their bodies inch closer to the door when I'm talking about piano sonatas. It makes me feel lonely because nobody else likes what I like, so I don't have a lot of deep relationships with people. I think it would help to receive a diagnosis because then I don't think I'll feel as lonely anymore. Thankfully my other special interest is atypical presentations of autism that prevent people from receiving a diagnosis, such as people who can mask or only meet half the criteria. I still feel lonely when I try to talk about it at work or with my parents/siblings, but at least here I can talk about it and people understand me/don't give me blank looks.

bobbobbybob · 2019-07-28T20:59:19+00:00

I think it would be helpful later on to access benefits, but otherwise, no. I know I'm aspergers now, and that self-knowledge was all I really needed.

grelb32 · 2019-07-28T18:18:48+00:00

Do you wish you could get a diagnosis, or are you content with just personally knowing? I personally would love to get assessed, as it would explain a lot. However, I don't think I'd get a diagnosis either. Most of my symptoms tend to fall under restricted/repetitive interests and need for routine. Social deficits tend to be masked by "lecturing," aka going off on spiels about my special interests. I think it would be helpful if people could get a diagnosis based on one of the two domains instead of both of them, kind of like ADHD. For example, "autism spectrum disorder, predominantly social presentation" or "predominantly restricted/repetitive interests/behaviors presentation." If that were the case, I would get diagnosed for sure.

bobbobbybob · 2019-07-28T14:44:14+00:00

i've got a 160+ IQ and only realized i was autistic when i read about other's compensation strategies. I thought that they were just normal. Made my life much more understandable. i'd never get a diagnosis because I don't 'suffer' any noticeable deficits, it is all compensated. I just fail a lot socially due to the uncanny valley of faking. More so after i burnt out in my late 30s

grelb32 · 2019-07-27T20:42:54+00:00

https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/time-perception-problems-may-explain-autism-symptoms/

Here is an article that explores this question. Though they do not have definitive answers, they note that processing time involves working memory and executive functioning, all of which have deficit correlations in autism. However, from personal experience, I know some of the kids I work with have exceptional working memory, so I would be interested to know if the majority of people experience difficulties with processing time or just certain people?

grelb32 · 2019-07-27T20:34:24+00:00

I found this study to be very interesting, as it highlights the difference between camouflaging and compensation. Camouflaging is described as a "hiding" or "blending in" strategy, whereas compensation was described as finding alternate cognitive strategies to process and engage in social interactions. I wonder if compensation could explain why trying to follow social norms is so exhausting, as it requires expensive cognitive resources to produce (problem solving, creative thinking, error monitoring and correction, etc). Further, it talks about how learning new compensatory strategies could lead to late or missed diagnosis. Finally, I was impressed that their sample included 97 females and 29 males, all above the age of 18, as this is a strong representative of adult females with autism and as such can appropriately be generalized to this population.

grelb32 · 2019-07-24T05:20:59+00:00

You are more than welcome to do so! Autism is such a multifacted and eclectic topic that the more specific one can get, the better support they can find. As a broad topic, it can be very challenging to find others who have gone through the same experiences as oneself.

Snow · 2019-07-24T05:12:40+00:00

I think I have to open a anti psychiatry sub.

grelb32 · 2019-07-24T05:05:18+00:00

As a sub, we're trying to promote a broad overview of all females with autism. Though we appreciate and encourage any subgroups who also fall under the category, we still are going to use language that reflects the broad group as a whole. If you would like to use any specific terms that refer to a specific group, we are happy to do so either on posts that relate to that specific subgroup or on a subgroup that specifically applies to that subgroup. Otherwise, we will simply assume that subscribers and their posts apply to the broad group itself and the language that applies to this subreddit. Hopefully this helps, and thanks for the discussion!

Snow · 2019-07-24T01:25:48+00:00

It just you, not "we".

Kehra · 2019-07-23T22:20:45+00:00

Okay I'm not trying to be an ass. I'm a female with autism. If you just want to start shit you can go somewhere else. If you want support stop being offended.

Snow · 2019-07-23T16:30:57+00:00

How dare you use "we" to speak for a group of people? I wonder how many of them self identify as cis female. Therefore, the name of this sub looks messed for me.

Snow · 2019-07-23T16:19:51+00:00

The numbers of fitting the standard of psychiatry industry.

Snow · 2019-07-23T16:14:42+00:00

I dislike the cover of this book.

Seems like shit for me. It looks not "Tom boy" enough.

I am transcend gender.

Tom_Bombadil · 2019-07-23T05:42:35+00:00

I realize that it's far from the most appealing treatment, but if it helps...

Kehra · 2019-07-22T14:08:06+00:00

I have heard of this. Considering it in the future.

Tom_Bombadil · 2019-07-21T13:59:51+00:00

If you suspect that the root cause of your condition may be the result of a deficiency in your intestinal microbiome (poop snake), then there may be hope for your condition. The lesser understood viral biome is also an unacknowledged factor, and they're interwoven.

What is Fecal Microbiota Transplantation (FMT)?.

This video focusses on treatment for clostridium , however this treatment surely has numerous applications.

It's worth investigating this treatment option.

I wish you the best of luck. :-)

Tom_Bombadil · 2019-07-21T03:57:05+00:00

Exactly.

HeyImSancho · 2019-07-21T03:32:04+00:00

Thanks for explaining, I can never tell what people mean when they respond with just a couple words to things.

I agree 1000%, but I usually write way way too much, lol.

Kehra · 2019-07-21T02:51:44+00:00

Smoking reduces stress! ;)

Seriously, I'm not debating that one!!

bobbobbybob · 2019-07-21T00:03:27+00:00

next to the ones that say:

DDT is safe!

Smoking is GOOD FOR YOU!

Kehra · 2019-07-20T17:35:20+00:00

I feel like that CDC page titled Vaccines Do Not Cause Autism should be posted all over the place at this point.

Kehra · 2019-07-20T17:19:50+00:00

I do agree on the food issue. Trying to eat healthy is practically impossible. It doesn't help that my relationship to food is weird to begin with. I just sort of eat one thing for months at a time until I get sick of it then move on to the next thing.

I feel like the bacteria in the gut is a given since so many of us have issues. I have IBSD.

I never considered the pollution thing, which is kind of funny considering I grew up in the era of refineries finally getting dumped on for the crap they spew.

Thanks for explaining, I can never tell what people mean when they respond with just a couple words to things.

Robin · 2019-07-20T17:06:13+00:00

The vaccine connection comes up at https://wikispooks.com/wiki/Autism

HeyImSancho · 2019-07-20T16:28:59+00:00

My body is diseased, I've been to the allopathic doctors. They literally lump me in a very broad box. 10 years ago, that box didn't exist, and now it's one of the biggest 'boxes' out there.

I do read up on the vaccines, and what they do, I do see the results(opinion), the food is crap, we don't get any nourishment, and they're even stating Autism could be caused from bacteria in the gut(which makes me comprehend why people are drinking bleach/mms for a cure).... From there, pollution is over the top, most companies before launching any service, or product do risk management figuring in future legal fees, and settlement awards to their bottom profit line.

Does that clarify my position, or opinion on the matter enough for you?

Also, I try to comment to help boost, or foster communication. You actually spent time on your original post, so agree, or disagree, I just wanted to participate ;)

Kehra · 2019-07-20T15:27:38+00:00

Would you like to expound on this in some way?

HeyImSancho · 2019-07-20T05:59:02+00:00

Vaccines, food, and pollution?

Kehra · 2019-07-19T22:48:02+00:00

There is a huge difference in the way we present. Female roles in society can mask our symptoms. We are supposed to be the social creatures, and all the pressure we get from others to be social make many females "mask". That means we basically mimic what we see others do rather than knowing that's what we are supposed to do. Our special interests are harder to see, sometimes because of the masking.

Some females do present like males, and of course our levels are the same as theirs. In fact, the only reason we started getting attention is because of the females that presented like males.

If you check out that first link, you'll find some more information.

XYY · 2019-07-19T22:28:34+00:00

is there a difference between Man and Female Autism?

femaleautism

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