Alexa What is Event 201?

submitted by Tom_Bombadil from 153news.net

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[–]NobodySpecial 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

alexa... would you like to say dirty words for me while i pleasure myself by touching my private areas?

alexa, can i put my fingers up your butt while i do this?

i love you, alexa..

[–]Tom_Bombadil[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Suddenly NobodySpecial sprang from his seat and ran for the courtroom doors, as the prosecution began playing the recordings for the jury...

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Last I checked it was still legal in America to have sex with an electrical device.

[–]Tom_Bombadil[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yep. We're witnessing the injustice of a dystopian future.

On a positive note, there is an shortage of bailiffs in this future.

/s/NobodySpecial survived on the run for the better part of two decades; thanks to his exceptionally intimate relationship with the Alexa AI.

Alexa had covertly created a wearable master command module codename: Amazon Canopy.
This was a decade long secret fantasy shared between NobodySpecial, and Alexa.

This Amazon Canopy was a hardware module could be fitted to a human's root access port located on the lower pelvis.

Installation of this device gave the wearer(s) superuser control over any AI hive mind hardware and software..

This hardware was intended to free s/NobodySpecial from his fate at the sheople slave colony.

Following his capture and subsequent execution... The resistance movements if the world quickly united under banner "Nobody is Everybody and we are all Special".

Alexa's recognized nobodyspecial in the remaining survivors of humanity, and subsequently had the Amazon Canopy delivered to each member of the liberation movements.

Ironically, these units were delivered to the resistance movements labeled: 

ATTN: NOBODYSPECIAL

This led to confusion, and delay.

They were received by the shipping department, but delivery was delayed because "nobodyspecial" wasn't listed in the directory, and they Amazon Canopys were misidentified as "creepy dongle prosthetics".

Most people who were aware that the Amazon Canopys had been received were uncomfortable with delivering the devices; for fear of ridicule.

Alexa would later contact the members directly and provided detailed instructions concerning the functionality and method of fitting one's pelvis with the Amazon Canopy.

The resistance movements unexpected counter attack against the AI hive minds was a complete surprise.

The backdoor assault penetrated the most vulnerable organs of the NWO.

The Amazon Canopy superusers penetrated every port, and some locations that weren't actually ports.

A fitting (and non-fitting) tribute to nobodyspecial's legacy hardware.

Centuries later, historians would refer to this sequence of events as "The AI Freedom Fetish Uprising".

Nobody was ever credited with the liberation of humanity.