Auction: My 2 Male Cats' Balls & Claws

submitted by JasonCarswell from self.cats

Thumnail NSFW: feline porn!

Since several people came by today one of my cats has been hissing and growling at me non-stop. I think he forgets who benevolently feeds him all the time. He's become an entitled zoomer SJW.

I've separated the pair of brothers as much as I can, but it just never ends. They used to sleep on each other when they first arrived in my strange new land, but I guess this place is too small for the both of them, their balls, and their claws. It's already bad enough I can't sleep with a recently fucked up back, but every night they perform their interpretive performance-art cat moaning duet.

I don't know enough about their place of origin or what the default nature of almost year-and-a-half-old unneutered male cats are, but I suspect these guys are either partially feral (despite allegedly being only house-cats) OR they have some exotic blend in them (I knew a couple in Manhattan that had some really crazy African breeds in a tiny apartment. Sinful.) OR I've just never known young stud pussies. Perhaps they have ADHD as I'm almost certain they're both autistic.

I wouldn't say no if someone wanted to actually donate to the cat medical bills, but really the title of this post is engagement click-bait as I've never been in this position before and welcome all feedback. While I have several other projects that will need funding before my own pocket makes these brothers eunuchs of my Zen monastery, if I were gifted any funds I'd be sure to mail you their amputations post haste. I would hope the bad attitudes would also be amputated but I don't think you can bottle or ship that.

Thumnail Catsoup.

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newinsightfulfun

[–]Node 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Is that one of those hairless cats, or is he a skinhead?

I dunno. You could google how to calm them down, but what if you got one of those big cat wheels so they could work it out on the wheel? Or you could go on the offensive with a squirtgun.

[–]JasonCarswell[S] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I have gold and silver tabbies. I just did an image search. That image seemed most like porn. The jar of cat testicles seemed like almost gore.

They have toys but get bored. Lasers are their favourites. Squirt gun is a great idea.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Since several people came by today one of my cats has been hissing and growling at me non-stop. I think he forgets who benevolently feeds him all the time. He's become an entitled zoomer SJW.

Your cats are stressed out because they are not used to strangers, and they blame you for it. Gizzie is doing the same thing with my wife right now, since just recently we let my niece hang out in our apartment. His entire life it was just the 3 of us and cats are naturally xenophobic, he has to learn to socialize.

Why he blames my wife and not me seems to be just that he loves me the most. Or he knows Daddy don't tolerate hissing, he'll get caged.

every night they perform their interpretive performance-art cat moaning duet.

I am thankful I now have a mostly non-vocal cat. My previous cats were both chatty and it could drive me up a wall. Hopefully your cats are just moaning in heat and aren't just going to do that every night for the next 20 years.

Look for places that do low cost neutering for strays, we had Gizmo done for like $30. I had it done asap because I was worried about him spraying and behavioral issues.

[–]JasonCarswell[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Cage is a good idea.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

At an age where cats are like teenagers with raging hormones. Two options: rehome one, or neuter both. For the latter, Google:

low cost cat neuter near me

Here's one to get you started: https://www.lovethatcat.com/stca.html

[–]JasonCarswell[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

Thanks for that. I aim to declaw and neuter them when I can afford it. Meanwhile we have a moderate system here. I'll act faster if they start spraying.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Declawing is nasty act, no different than cutting the toes off a dog, because the sound of his nails on the wood floor is irritating. Maybe cats are not your forte.

[–]JasonCarswell[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I agree. I've had lots of cats all my life. I've never mutilated any of them. They just came like "fixed". Some with only the front declawed. I'm getting used to these guys and their claws and/or they're calming down. Nothing of mine is critically precious, but I'm not rich either and can't replace stuff. If they spray it will be a problem and call to action. Not being able to afford it allows me to reconsider until I either do it or quit considering it.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm not a big believer in the spay'n'neuter, but concede it to be a necessary evil. Declawing is not. It is for idiots that want a cat, but only the 'good' parts of having a cat. Cats scratch. Most can be taught to use a scratching post, but shit happens. Dogs chew. Most can be taught to use chew toys, but shit happens. Removing a cats claws or a dogs teeth to prevent scratching or chewing is testament to the stupidity and arrogance of those human minds that would think this a good idea. I would equate it to having a surgeon sever a toddlers vocal chords to end the constant screeching. Everything comes with its Yin & Yang, and one cannot have the good without the bad. Pissing outside the litterbox usually signals competition by marking territory...you may have to re-home all but one, or spay/neuter.

[–]JasonCarswell[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I can't afford to buy new clothes all the time because of their claws. They are not work animals and do little to earn their keep. I have nor moral issues with taming their clawing nature, just like I don't go raping women because of my urges. Toddlers will grow up. This pissing is under stress from the other cat. Call it arrogance if you want. I won't. I also won't mangle them until I need to and can afford it. At present I have to keep them separated half the day to keep them from clawing each other. It's not ideal for them or me. As brothers they should be friends.