Im finally coming out!

submitted by Adventurous_Ad6212 from self.TumblrInAction

Hey all i just wanted to let you know that i have decided to let the world see my true self. I have acheived my final form and am finally coming out as a straight sexual. It took alot of bravery for me to go against the norm and declare that i a once proud homosexual am smashing expectations by choosing to be straight.

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[–]LordoftheFliesAmeri-kin 2.0. Pronouns: MegaWhite/SuperStraight/UltraPatriarchy 10 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

So stun, much brave.

[–]ClassroomPast6178 6 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

What about the poor, poor trans babies?!?!?!

[–]NotalienHunter 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

We have transitioned them into adulthood. By dressing them in cute suits and tiny briefcases. Now the office will be staffed by boss babies so the adults can sit around crying about people being mean on the internet. Mommy help that bad man online said my ideas are stupid. Mommy make the mean person go away. Waaah mommy he said I need to train to be an astronaut but I don't wanna waaaah. Waaah so what if I have a psychotic breakdown on my spacewalk I won't take my meds I won't take them I won't waaah. Sanity is boring.

[–]Tums_is_Smut_bkwrds 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

"You'll be back" Gay-Hitler.

[–]alladd 1 insightful - 4 fun1 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 4 fun -  (5 children)

Will you be getting any straight-affirming surgery, such as having your ability to dance removed?

[–]LordoftheFliesAmeri-kin 2.0. Pronouns: MegaWhite/SuperStraight/UltraPatriarchy 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I hear that the surgery to remove the innate fashion and decorating senses is especially traumatic.

[–]Musky༼⁠ ⁠つ⁠ ⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠ ⁠༽⁠つ 🐈 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

fashion and decorating senses is

https://i2.wp.com/www.theunstitchd.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Best-Gay-Fashion-Trends-2020.jpg

[–]LordoftheFliesAmeri-kin 2.0. Pronouns: MegaWhite/SuperStraight/UltraPatriarchy 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I never said it was good sense, lol.

[–]LyingSpirit472 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

It's a common misconception. Actually, getting your decorating senses affirmed to a proper straight person is considered one of the simplest ways to start converting the former gay person; most straight interior decorating is built around sports, so they'll still get to have a bunch of pictures and mementos of hot men all around the house.

[–]Adventurous_Ad6212[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

All of the above

[–]RedEyedWarriorThe Evil Cishomo 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

So does that mean you will start dating women like Blaire White and Stefonknee?

[–]Musky༼⁠ ⁠つ⁠ ⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠ ⁠༽⁠つ 🐈 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (6 children)

$20 says Red turns straight next.

[–]LordoftheFliesAmeri-kin 2.0. Pronouns: MegaWhite/SuperStraight/UltraPatriarchy 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Red strikes me more as a "straight for pay" sort. Like, there's rent or something equally dire that needs to be paid right the fuck now and so it's time to sell that ass to some sweaty, leering hetero :D.

[–]RedEyedWarriorThe Evil Cishomo 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

Straight into another man's arse 🤣🤣🤣

[–]Musky༼⁠ ⁠つ⁠ ⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠ ⁠༽⁠つ 🐈 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I call dibs

Gay.

[–]RedEyedWarriorThe Evil Cishomo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

🤣🤣🤣

[–]NotalienHunter 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Legally as long as one of you wears a dress while doing it it counts a straight sex in the eyes of Tumblr (Inshallah).

[–]Adventurous_Ad6212[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You can go straight into my arse any day big boy. It’s the straightest thing I can imagine.

[–]Adventurous_Ad6212[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I will only date women so I can suckle on their lady lances.

[–]Musky༼⁠ ⁠つ⁠ ⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠ ⁠༽⁠つ 🐈 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Are you serious? Does this mean no more ass jackhammering?

If you are serious, Saidit does seem to have a trend of straightening out its users.

[–]Adventurous_Ad6212[S] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

A man having his ass jack hammered is the straightest thing I can imagine

[–]NotalienHunter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it's a great opportunity to draw attention to myself. I have decided to start identifying as anti-matter. My new pronouns are not/nor. And you all owe me 1,000,000 dollars because I like money. And not giving me money, is basically genocide and it's really mean.

[–]M1GarandDad 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Rule 4C.