Splatoon is one of the queerest games on the planet. I can’t quite put my finger on why though. Perhaps it’s the liberating attitude it takes when standing against authority, or the willingness to enable modern youth and provide them with a space to express themselves without compromise, or the presence of characters who are coded in ways that can’t be taken in any other way except fruity. Pearl and Marina, here’s looking at you.

Rebellion against authority and self expression are gay. Heard it here folks this person is obviously a maverick in the promotion of gay rights away from the homophobic ideals that gay people are otherwise normal but are instead a bunch of fruity hooligans. (Fruity being ok to use again for some reason? That's real progress, maybe the other F-word can come back as well)

There is something LGBT afoot, and there always has been in the series, but Splatoon 3 takes it to a whole new level. A brief walk around the sprawling hub world greets us with all manner of drawings that have players declaring their love for men and women, crying out for trans rights, or just having fun with modern queer trends that are popular elsewhere. It isn’t just that these have infiltrated Splatoon, but those who feel welcomed by them have come to call this game home because it represents something special, an inclusive exuberance that nothing else in Nintendo’s library has ever come close to matching. The Squids are alright.

Infiltrated Splatoon 3, interesting choice of words. Yes infiltrated is good. The children's game has been infiltrated by trans rights activists. Perhaps the author would like to come onto Tucker Carlson and Friends and talk about their article? I'm sure he'd be interested.

Our own Lex Luddy recently wrote about how Splatoon 3 has helped her embrace a sense of fashion in reality after dressing up her Inkling, and that visual identity is a big reason why this series has such staying power. I wasn’t out of the closet when the first Splatoon arrived in 2015, and found myself resorting to games to explore my own appearance and the person I hoped to see myself become after starting hormones and a social transition.

You wanted to become a weird squid kid?

Obviously I wasn’t going to transform into a weird squid creature, but the clothes and personality was a sufficient way to express myself without fear of bigoted harassment or my own anxiety.

Oh thank God. Yes it's great that playing dress up with a video game avatar let's you explore your own sexuality in a children's game where you've got all the freedom in the world to dress with the limited number of cosmetic options the game presents you. Truly liberating. And we all know the internet is one of the safest safe places around free from all sorts of biggotry harassment and general nastiness.

I could don cute skirts, awesome tops, and stylish hats to my heart’s content, and always had the freedom to switch things up to take on new skills but still be assured that I’d look amazing. Everyone else does too, and this acceptance all starts with the character creator itself. While gendered hairstyles and clothing options do exist in this world, none of them are strictly labelled or describe you as a boy or a girl. You are merely a squid, and that identity takes on whatever gender you want it to. It can be changed up whenever too, giving each squid a fluid identity that is never once set in stone. The agent you play as during the campaign goes by gender-neutral pronouns too, further cementing the idea that Splatoon never intends for its player characters to be viewed from a cisgendered perspective. Like much of modern youth, we have moved beyond the need for the labels that older generations sought to burden us with. Not once are we asked to become something we aren’t, and that rules so hard.

Very long but I'll provide a translation for those of us not proficient in childish squiddling.

"I played the game in English where they removed the "are you a boysquid or a girlsquid" binary avatar creation option with the totally otherwise gay friendly "choose your style" binary option. And I'm coping hard because all the clothing options and the like are obviously gendered along the binary but they totally aren't because I said so.

Splatoon 3 also sees this place fall even deeper into the apocalypse. Chaos has been welcomed, and this perspective is seen in the overturned monuments and rampant decay found outside the otherwise metropolitan cityscape. These squids exist and operate within the confines of a culture all of their own, a youthful combination of music, fashion, and excess that we’ve seen evolve alongside them over the past three games. They abide by no sense of authority, only existing to hang out with friends and party whenever a Splatfest comes around. It’s liberating, and the appeal this has for queer audiences is clear to see.

Again your writing style has absolutely piqued the interest of us over here at right wing media group. When is your fox news or daily wire interview? I'm sure they'll absolutely love to talk to you about how queer culture is all about apocalyptic societal collapse and anarchy.

The series’ wider lore might point towards where these creatures came from and whether they abide by an actual system of government, but to us they are little more than cool dudes having a good time without any of the societal baggage found in the real world. Squid Kids have grown since the first game too, more resembling Squid Teenagers ready and willing to find themselves. That evolution only better serves the queer theming, and it makes perfect sense for more ambitious styles and divergent identities to emerge as we move forward. What form that takes is up to us, and I choose to view it as a foundation to experiment however I like. I’m only Level 10, but already I feel like my own distinct Squid ready to take on the world.

My take on the game is super valid and may or may not be actually backed up by in game evidence. To be fair I actually think that's fine, because it's an escapist fantasy and you can think whatever you want because it doesn't matter and has zero real world consequences or impact, wait that wasn't the take you were going for with this? Weird.

Current affairs, whether it be the finale of Better Call Saul or the death of Queen Elizabeth, are referenced through in-game drawings that make up much of the game’s personality. All of these are peppered in alongside admissions of queer attraction and fruity displays of affection that players and their fellow squids are never afraid of making clear. This will only continue to grow as the online shooter evolves with future updates, whether it be through providing us with additional nuggets of lore or new clothes that emphasise self-expression. But, even without referencing the real world with memes, Splatoon 3 still shines.

This game has one of those annoying social media features that invariably gets overrun with a bunch of terminally online types that want to ruin the escapist fantasy and drag you into real life. So just a fair warning to parents out there, you're gonna want to set those parental controls to only allow messages and communication to come through with your kids IRL friends.

Also I'd like to remind you all in this strange era where apparently playing some video game is step one towards gender transition (which is BS and just an excuse for them to justify why they played too many videogames instead of doing something productive) and in the environment of schools going behind kids back with this sort of thing. I'll let you know that the kids themselves are really fucking stupid. And if you just go on their social media spaces yourself you can easily see what they are up to. So beyond anything don't be the stupid retarded parents that outright ban the game from your home so your kid goes and does it behind your back where you can't see. But actually sit down and pretend to be interested and maybe play with your kid a bit. It will work doubly for helping to see what your kid is getting exposed too, and it will also make video games seem way less cool if the parent pretends to like it so the kid will get frustrated and go play outside or something. A win win.

Splatoon 3 feels built for the modern zeitgeist, and those who grew up with the internet and understand how to best engage with it. Turns out that a lot of those people are also queer, and are always looking for places to further representation and unearth subtext, even more so when the base game itself is so fruity already. It’s a place of comfort and discovery, and a breeding ground for youthful rebellion that constantly goes against the grain in spite of its family friendly image. Splatoon is for everyone, and that definition covers all the bases.

God forbid modern games aren't made for the modern cultural tastes! Wow what a shocker! Also another appearance of demeaning gay people by calling them fruity and associating them with apocalyptic Anarcho hooliganism.

Anyway long story short. The author of this piece is clearly a homophobe trabsphobe racist bigot for implying all that bad stuff about gay people. Furthering the narrative that gay people are all weirdo fruity pedophiles infiltrating (sic their words) online children's spaces all the while reinforcing the gender binary by removing the gendered words and letting it be obvious that no matter what labels or names you identify as, there's still an obvious binary. For those reasons, I salute you Jade King! It takes balls to pretend to be a gay person while writing such obviously anti-gay propoganda. I salute you. I look forward to your fox news segment.